A follow on thread ...

[Festivepussy]

here for the fag free few!

I was going to start a thread about this...but im not going to because it will just piss me off further. My best friend( the one with the dickhead husband, who sits upstairs listening to his dvds with batterys while his family sit downstairs with candles and f*all to eat because hes blew all the money) has for the 4th year running bought her kids pressies in front of them and then stuffed them in a cupboard...so of course the first thing her 6 year old dd says to me when she sees me is My Xmas pressies are upstairs in the cupboard I know what they are...
So i say Ok SHHHH nodding my head to try and shut her up ....not in the slightest bit impressed that a) She knows and b) my friend didnt tell her not to open her mouth so she doesnt ruin it for anyone else.
I think im going to have to ask her, but they have a shit enough life as it is...cant she even give them the hope of father christmas????????
Do you know anyone who doesnt encourage thoughts of FC?
Rant over. She also brought new phones and a freeview box last month when it was her dds birthday...and then her dd didnt get her birthday pressie till after her birthday, and I couldnt ring her for days because that to me is SHIT
and i was really rather disgusted with her.

My brain tells me that my kids have had so much stuff nothing impresses them any more and they do prefer the stocking fillers to the 40 quid heaps of plastic we buy.....BUT....I feel they want to be acknowledged for the 40 quid they have spent on thier kids....hence the no father Xmas rule and that by not getting thier birthday pressies on the right day they are effectively saying to the kids they are not worth a shit and they can wait...but if your gonaa buy something buy it for the day...buy it on the month befores wages.....dont buy the phones/freeview boxe...??????????????????????????????????????????????????NO YES???? Rant over!
Thank You for reading what are your thoughts????

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FP!

Right, well i think that it's a crying shame that in this day and age when kids grow up way too fast that parents, guardians, adults in general don't make an effort to encourage children's imaginations esp. at Christmas time (if you celebrate it). I'm probably a bit morbid/paranoid but because i grew up in London in not the greatest area and my mum was pretty paranoid about these things (i.e. the safety of your kids) i think each day you spend with them is so precious and i really do try to make an effort to make their days as special as possible and naturally their birthdays and christmas are two particular days that they quickly become aware of. i also spoil my two but only have fleeting moments of guilt about how much i can give them because i know that at the same time i try to teach them to appreciate everything they get. we didn't have much whilst i was growing up so i think that makes me spoil them more.

i think you're perfectly right about the birthday thing...the poor mites probably wait all excited on their day only to be disappointed, particularly if someone else celebrates their birthday and not their own parents!! i just think it's a great shame about your friend really.

i also think that i've managed to type even more than you

what will you be doing with your sis tonight?

fg, i'm very in the christmas spirit and am trying to get you lot in on the act

btw fp, how are you feeling now, do you still need a potion?

Potion...Potion...does it have alcohol in it...yep yep yep....LOL....im feeling better actually, it might have been the Xmas card task that was getting me down. Dp is slipping and I need to haul him back onto the doing something wagon though...Ill cheekily ask for it if I feel I need it ok? (Or not Ok?)
We didnt have much but what we did have we looked after and cherished...big time. My kids have 4 of every sort of toy you could imagine and they only play with a small amount of it...I go bootsailng so it hasnt cost much, and because it hasnt cost much I dont appreciate it and just lob it on the pile and so they do too....not to be proud of, but theres not point lying. This year will be the smallest pile of pressies ever but I know it just gets kicked in the corner and left to collect dust so we have brought stuff that will get used and played with.
However...the glitter and talc on the stairs the ringing of bells outside thier window and the magic of Xmas will make up 10000x the lack of boxes(not that they will even notice)
And thats whats getting me in the guts about my friend. I remeber sneaking a look in my mums cupboard and seeing what id got and it was gutting actually, becuase then I knew and then i9d ruined Xmas...and this is when i was 13-124 and knew FC wasnt real.
I just feel she could make an effort and could do what the rest of the planet does and hide the stuff and buy it when they arent there and not wasnt glory for the fact shes spent 40 quid on them.
Must go mums here.......

Hello everyone!

I'm a bit different about Christmas because as a child with Jewish parents it wasn't the big deal it is in 'Christian' societies. But dp was brought up in a non-religious, Christmas-celebrating, though of the German-tradition, family.

I'm enjoying it more this year because of having dd whereas previously it hasn't been a big deal for me. I'm VERY keen on her having excitement about Father Christmas and she's already saying he's a relative of 'Big Ears' (her hero ) and says 'ho ho ho' and brings presents.

BUT as we're so broke my dd's not, so far, aware at all of what it's like to have loads of toys or to be given what she asks for. So when we're in shops and she sees something she likes (yesterday we popped into Mothercare as I wanted to get a present for a friend who's about to have a baby and she fell in love with a little polar bear) she says 'that's nice. Mummy got any money? No?' which is kind of quite tragic but on the other hand is quite honest because usually I haven't. Well, almost always I haven't. So her toy collection is pretty small. In fact I feel embarrassed about how few things she's got around to play with. Lots of books of course ... This year as we're away for most of Christmas with the two widowed grandmas we're not getting her much as it would mean transporting it all via the train and bringing it all back again. So I've got her small 'special' things rather than anything large and plastic but that's also because whenever I do buy her anything bigger she only really plays with it for half a day and then she wouldn't notice if I set fire to it. Her favourite toys by far are her little Noddy and Big Ears and some 99p teddy bears I bought from a museum shop!

BM, My dds dont even ask for things in shops as they know ill say...Well get that from a bootsale for 50p
Its not tragic at all, you would be tearing your hair out clearing up the weeny bits of plastic that come with all these stupid toys that dont get played with like I am..they are a waste of money...a huge waste of money.
Heres the killer question, would you buy a new phone for yourself if you knew you werent going to be earning any more money that month or would you buy your dd something for her birthday that month?
I feel its gonna be a fag free Xmas too...is anyone else going to join that confident club?!

Hmmm, fp, depends on if I really needed a phone, i.e. in SE London I don't feel safe without a mobile. If not desperate I'd buy dd's birthday present. I'd try my best to get both ideally but otherwise dd would come first.

And yes, I so so so hope it's a fagless Christmas! Actually being away with grandmas who've nagged me for years about smoking it's going to be easier than being at home. Except my nerves will be craving one more of course ...

They already had blooming phones...they wanted the phones because dp had brought us his n her ones...and they are very... well if they(we) have got it they must too.......my phone has been knackered for well over 12 months so dp got it for me as an early B.Day pressie...and got himself one too as his was a brick from many moons ago.
They didnt NEED them, they wanted them, and they subcrise to sky...so they didnt need the freebox either...but because weve got one, because we are too skint to subcribe to sky, they had to get one too...its laughable really.
OH NO...ill be here over Xmas...who else is abandoning the thread??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, so the phone question was related to your mad c.d. buying mates? They do sound a bit bizarre ...

Alas, fp, I'd MUCH rather be here with you over Christmas. I'm dreading it to the point of having sleepless nights already. I'll be so so so relieved when it's over. And I don't want to think that way about Christmas. Next year we're here on our own for DEFINITE.

I'm going to wrap Christmas presents now!

And I have to say that even though I poke fun at dp for buying so many books, he does get his priorities right when it counts. Dd needed new winter sleeping bags this month and he gave up all his book budget to get them both!

HAPPY DAY FP!!!!!!

Lovely to come on here tonight & find loads of posts!

We try to get the kids the 'just right' amount of pressies and of course never get it right. You're right fp, the little things seem to be the most enjoyed - 2 yrs ago the boys got a rubber stretchy lizard each which was 99p! And one got lost in the blimmin snow, then we went to look for it in the park - the snow had melted, the grass was green (obviously...) - so was the lizard - never found!

This year the boys are getting: a new playstation spiro game, real (gulp!) tool set each (hello hospital!), science kits (ie, magnets, bleepy wire things), loadsa books, mini chess & snakes & ladders (they like games) and some choccies. Must run into our crappy but brilliabt cheapie local shops tomorrow.

dd is getting - this is so embarrassing - a teddy (which she asked for), books, chocolate eyeballs, gloves... ARGH! That is all! I have to nab her more stuff so she has more parcels! Thought I was organised! What she'd love is a big tub of those plastic Hama beads you make pictures with. She is only 4 & doesn't expect massive things yet - but I do think it's more about opening loads of parecls don't you???

yeah fp that is crap about your friend and the b'day stuff! These events are massive when you're a kid. You kind of measure your life out in birthdays etc when you're an adult, they're that memorable (or should be!)

Had a TERRIBLE fag moment tonight. dh smoking in kitchen, am madly stressed with horrible deadline, boys screaming in their bedroom at 9.30 pm, me feeling v v pmt-ish (I think) & overloaded with everyhting - went, 'Am having a fag!' and snatched one from packet. Dh says no no you'll be so mad with yourself, you're nearly 2 months off... came in here with gob full of lozenge. It's so hard with him sitting there smoking.

Sorry to ramble... Worst night in ages!!!!!

Tomorrow is my last work day till something like Jan six cos of school hols. Am burnt out. Don't have one decent phrase or idea in my head. Felt tearful (am ok now, cos of wine) and v v angry at nothing in particular.
Can I ask a question? Would it be awful of me to just do a couple of hours' work tomorrow then get all my xmas preps finally sorted?

Sorry to be a ranting mare on your b'day fp!

xxxxxxxxxx (I wish there was an icon for a bonkers face)

if it makes you happier fg, then yes! nobody wants a bonkers mummy

quick one tonight as i've been going to bed at 2am every night recently and it's now hit me plus my back's killing from coming on.

don't feel embarressed about what you think are too few toys bm, i often wish ds1 had fewer as it's so very important to cherish the ones you do have and i remember this from being a kid. i think children with fewer toys have far more vivid imaginations which is so precious! it's a fine balance getting the amount right isn't it? i should probably stress that ds1 has so many things because of all the presents that come from relatives...not just me

hope you're having a good evening fp, i'm here this xmas so you won't be alone!!

OMG IT IS SO LATE. F**k!!

No cigaraettes smoked today! Thanks for the beautiful picture of your DD Blue

Oh girls I cracked last night, snatched dh's fags and had about five.

I feel so sh*t. It didn't make anyhting feel better and he just sat there going, 'Don't do it, you'll only blame me.'

will reset counter today and suck lozenges like a maniac.

Fionagib, does it help to think of it like a diet: if you have a bad day you should just carry on with your diet the next day, rather than saying f* it?

That's good advice www and it's what I'm gonna do - was nearly 2 months off the ciggies so I just have to look at it like a blip that's best forgotten. have also to think about workload & stress levels - have felt everyhting's just got too much lately. Find myself doing the washing lunchboxes etc at midnight. It would never occur to dh to put a load into the machine or make up a lunchbox. I feel I haven't relaxed or done something fun for ages. it's either work or housework.

have just emailed my editor asking for extra time to finish this book. Just feel tearful & exhausted and not remotely creative. So want to enjoy this week, the run up to christmas, with the kids and have a break from work. Want to take them out swimming & for a nice lunch on xmas eve and be a proper mum, who has fun with them, but all I can think about it this awful looming deadline.

sorry to be such a self pitying trout. Am trying to festive myself up by thinking about mink's decorated bannister!!

Don't worry Fiona, we all have slip ups (look at mine!!!!) don't think of it as 2mths not smoked then 5 fags. Think of it as 5 fags in 2mths compared to what you were before thats amazing.

Thank you jenni!!!!

MY NAME IS FIONAGIB AND I AM A NON SMOKER!

Feeling perkier, so sorry about my massive rant

counter says 3 ciggies not smoked - BAH!! Where is everyone today? It's v quiet.... bm, when are you going away? We are here all over xmas, will no doubt be on here a lot, ranting like a manic!! xxx

Fiona....On my birthday how could you?!
Seriously though, it doesnt matter, you had 5 because the first one wasnt as good as youdd dreamt it would be and neither was the 2nd...none of them made your deadline and all the other things go away so now you really know for 100% that they dont cure a thing and they dont make you feel any better.
Get back on your high horse and gallop away...Dont be downhearted about your counter, just make yourself more determined to not do it next time.
I know how you feel, I felt i was drowning with all the things to do...dp is trying although he does do things like putting the washing in the machine but not switching it on..?????????
Dunno what thats all about but I thought it might make you larf
Hope you arte feeling better now, Ive been off tidying the nursery cupboard....like I havent got enough to do at home !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you do make me larf fp!

been naughty, thought stuff work this afternoon, been shopping instead. And all you say is right - nothing was made better by those fags last night. Am prob pre mestrual. Feeling heaps better.

NO MORE FAGS! NO MORE FAGS!

Good for you Fiona!! Be strong!

Never mind fg, really truly it doesn't matter and doesn't mean instantly that you'll be an addict again. What it does mean, that I found scary when I slipped up, is that it's bloody easy to suddenly have one, i.e. we're never really 'cured' ...

I think we've all slipped now except mammya? Where is she by the way?!

I've got a fluey coldy thing. Feel sick and headachy and rubbish generally. Boo! Started packing to go on the dreaded family trip. I SO envy you guys being here. We're off on Thursday for a week so I guess I'll have lots of your posts to catch up on when I get back.

Quick Nip in...Well Done BTW Jenni...forgot to say that after FGs slip!
Hope everyones doing well.
I sat across from my friend sam today as she was smoking a rolly and i couldnt listen to what she was saying...halfway through her fag it dawned on me i hadnt even noticed she was smokning and now i had noticed cor imagine my brain started saying smoke it smoke it..it didnt but it worried me...but i talked myself round to thinking well you hadnt even noticed up until halfway through so thats good.

Where IS mammya???

That's good fp. I'm not there yet. I still envy every person on t.v. and on the street who's puffing away. I still remember the sheer relief of having a good old pull of nicotine. Pathetic, no? Truth is I do believe I am a 'smoker' deeply ingrained into my being but I'm going to deny that side of myself because I can't afford to be a smoker in every way imaginable.

So I'm a nun. I'm removing myself from temptation because I know how tempting it is.

Dp got dd some little Christmas gifts today. They were so thoughtfully chosen and simple and sweet I really loved him and loved the way he loves her. Whenever I talk to him about her, he glows and says 'she's just fantastic.' So, ok, he's a scruffy, self-absorbed, book fetishist ... but he's a bloody lovable dad!

Great post Bluemoon, the bits about the fags and dp!
I know what you mean, totally, but no way....when we were kids we didnt need fags or nicotine to get through the day...I have spells on my nonsmoking days where I dont think of smoking/fags/nicotine for 3-4 hours at a time...you know...not even a puff passes through my head....surely that lenght of time will only get longer.
I feel more relaxed as a non smoker...but i feel 100x more tense as a non smoker too...IYKWIM.
Not once person on this planet can really afford the risks of smoking unless their wish is to die too early, to die in pain and to wake up each morning dreading the smoking day ahead.
I would like to think im over it now. I have tried and tried ...must be over 100 times now to stop. This HAS to be it.