A follow on thread ...

[Festivepussy]

here for the fag free few!

My dp by the way has thrown hisself into the DIY....not the dishes...but hes trying.
I have just finished my Xmas cards...Fiona I havent put your birthday one in as so late it is just insulting so i will send it in July next year instead in good time

Oh and as I feel like im keeping secrets I have felt like im cracking up recently...so if you come across any threads you wont be because now ive told you.
Im ok though and dont mention it...I just felt like you would wonder WTF if you came across something and I hadnt said.

fest puss am now worried about you, wtf is going on? (I rarely look at other threads...) are you ok??? email me anytime if you like...

I tried to work tonight but am so bushed just flew into three hours cleaning (our house is cesspit with joiner, painter etc being here..) plus dh working 13 hour days not home yet!

am sozzling myself in wine girls call the police! f xxx
ps fp don't tell me you have vera duckworth hairdo???

can you taste the dust yet fg? i finished your book a couple of days ago and really enjoyed it. i'm amazed at how you can come up with quite obscure ideas and turn them into great storytelling with such details and interesting characters. i also liked that this one had (i feel) a different tone to it, a little bit more serious than the first yet balancing it with great humour. you still had me chuckling out loud which is no mean feat! look forward to your next, but only if you take an xmas break

jenni, i'm soooo in the christmas spirit, i take a look around the house everyday and think i've not decked it out enough! one day i'm gonna be one of those people who 'adorn' their house with lights for charity!!!! (maybe not )

night night girls xx

LMAO...not quite vera..more Bob Marley..im Ok by the way, writing the xmas cards, shit shovelling after the kids day in day out etc got a bit too much..thats allxx
I have been drowning my sorrows in Baileys and for someone who doesnt srink that much theres an extradinary amount of booze kicking about my kitchen.....NO FAGS though. thats the main thing xx

srink...was that stink or drink??
Am ploughing through my clothes again throwing out anything I havent wore for a while and chucking out a load of coats as we all seem to wear the same 1 everyday...yet we have 5/6/7 each. And when they need washed we quickly dry them...so whats the point in having so many???!!!
Am chewing gum frantically, not in a Id rather have a fag way, just in a must chomp through this task way LOL.
In bed last night just after midnight dp coughed...2 secs later he jumped out the bed for a fag and I thought OMG....thats it, thats when you cough and think "thats the fags" and yet your next thought is "Go smoke one"
So So SO pleased not to be there anymore.

Hey fp, I haven't seen another thread of yours but I might come across it. Are you ok? I just mailed you some pics by the way. I quite frequently feel I'm cracking up too and have also posted on some other threads that I've thought might seem rather odd as they're about things I never discuss here.

Yes, Jenni, I'd love to see a pic of your dd and of you too! So your dd has an 'E' name? Mine too

LOl, I like your " I quite frequently... "
I have had on and off days for ever but this hasnt lifted. Strangely I can sort of pinpoint it to when I started taking Omega 3 vitamins and evening primrose...you know thats the only thing I can think of that ive changed...oh and the Xmas is coming der ne der ne der ne feeling..
I will see how I feel when Xmas is over.
How do you cope with feeling like your cracking up? Shit TBH though isnt it?
You and your dd are gorgeous...dps not bad either Your dd looks like butter wouldnt melt!
Dp gave up smoking till about 8pm tonight but had a fag rolled and behind his ear and succumbed to the itch...BUT at least hes trying as its all you can do really isnt it?
My mum...this is odd...on the phone said Ive got this article...this 103 year old woman had flowers in the shape of a fag on her coffin...and was put in her coffin holding her beloved B+H...and I said "Why are you telling me this?" with a pissed off...WTF sound in my voice...and I dunno what she said as I was so pissed off with her even mentioning it.
Is she justifying her own smoking or subconcioulsy wanting me to smoke too? This isnt the first...go on smoke forever it doesnt kill us all article shes showed me.
Anyway she brought it with her...the article today and the woman..who looked dead whilst still alive looked bloody ridiculus with her fag dangling from her lips and her fag shape flowers on the coffin said it all to me...
I said the reason shes hit the papers is because shes a rarity...everyone else is dead or dying, in the ground or in the hospital. [snarl] lol!

Yes, Fp, I joke about it but to be honest I've been plagued by depression / anxiety my whole life. It's an up and down thing as you describe and I don't know why but I also get much worse around Christmas. What do I do? I try to keep as cosy and stress-free as possible, put myself under less pressure to do things than normal and drink copious amounts of whatever's available! I was on anti-depressants for many years but stopped when pregnant and try to avoid going back on them though sometimes I do wonder if it wouldn't just be better to medicate!

Dd is a bit like butter wouldn't melt. She's a total sweetheart, knows just how to pull the heart strings. In a shoe shop the other day she ended up with about 6 staff around her going 'ahhhh...' and she bloody loved it! I wish I had her powers of charm ...

I can't believe that woman with the fag wreath. It's so sick. To be honest I think it's one of those things that heavy smokers (and I include myself totally in that bracket because I was a true addict who couldn't go longer than 30 mins without one of the buggers in my mouth) do to ease their guilt. They act almost kind of 'proud' of their smoking. 'Hey look at me, I got to 103 smoking as much as I liked!' But it's very sad really. Your mum wants you to be her adversary in smoking, that seems clear from other posts about her you've done. That you've given up makes her feel less secure about her own smoking but also perversely wants to make you feel like it's something you may run from but you'll never escape from. It's that 'once a smoker, always a smoker thing.' But I don't buy it, though it's tempting. My grandfather on my mums side (the very very poor side of my family) was a little Jewish tailor in Sheffield with about 15 members of family living in a 3-bedroom miner's terrace. He smoked 60 a day and then stopped altogether when he was about 50. He lived to be 78 though he died of lung cancer in the end. And my dad was a chainer until he was 55 then stopped altogether and never had another smoke. It IS possible. We WILL be the living proof.

How are you feeling today, fp?

Feeling ok Thanks BM, I had to walk DD1 to school in the most hideous rain, it was like someone was throwing a bucket of water over us every 5 steps...it took an hour to get there and back and I was wetter than a puddle. Jumped right into a warm bath on returning and plonked DD2 in front of the TV where she is still lounging dry as a bone being in the buggy and all that
I was laughing to myself on the way back thinking, OMG if I dont laugh I will cry...
My mum is steering clear of me when shes smoking, but because of that shes having to delay having a fag for 5...10...15 mins and I know myself it just make sthem seem all the more pleasurable.
So although in a sense shes doing me a favour, shes doing herself no favours by depriving herself and then headrush feeling that much pleasure from waiting so long.
She is somehow in denial about the friend with the cancer of the tongue. I said how is she and shes going Oh dreadful she cant eat bla bla bla but shes still managing to smoke...like its something to be proud of...OR...now I think about it...reassuring herself that its so hard to stop even when you have cancer of the tongue its too hard to do...GGRRR.
Do you have any plan of action if your kids come in reeking of smoke one day?
The thought fills me with horror.
I think I may withdraw thier savings from the bank, line it up...and say if you light another fag I will set fire to this and not only will you have a deathly addiction youll be spending money on and killing yourself with you will also have no nice little nest egg for when you need it most. Allen Carr however mentions the bloke in the book who said to his son, you wont get X amount of money if you start smoking before your 21 ...so the son doesnt and gets the money and takes up smoking age 22...OMG.
Must not think about it!!!!!!!!
How and where is everyone BTW?

Dunno about the others, fp, but I'm here !

It's odd hearing about your mum because, like you, I get a sense of what she's about with her smoking and as a 'non-smoker' (still have to put that in commas!) I can see through it. But as a smoker I was subject to all the same delusions / escapes / excuses as she is. It really is a death drive isn't it? To a real non-smoker, i.e. someone who's never smoked, seeing a smoker chugging away, coughing their guts out, spending stacks of money and dying early horrible deaths seems insane. To a smoker it seems inevitable, as though there's no way out.

I hate hate hate to think of dd smoking. It's one of the reasons I decided to stop when I did. She was getting more and more curious about what I was doing and even mentioned 'mummy's fire' as I never told her the name of them. To be honest the not telling her the name was partly because as she's such a horrendous chatterbox I knew she'd start telling dp etc. every time I'd snuck in a fag when I shouldn't have done ...

Oh I know all the tricks it plays on you, the addiction to nicotine...OMG I KNOW but I would have thought/hoped? that as im her daughter she would like to see me free of the curse that she feels bound too...you know?
But the evil nicotine monster seems determined to make her I dunno, put it this way...she likes it better when im sitting next to her chuffing away as me not sitting next to her makes her very aware of what she is doing.
My dds say Wheres Daddy..and the other one says Is he out the back having a fag?

Going to switch off PC now and get doing something...be back tonight xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sorry girls gotta be so quick as have bit of work to finish before erin's big performance and my big blubbing at nativity... mum's here just for 1 night, being a massive help - have felt so overloaded this week cos of dh's crazy working hours - from 9 am till 4 am on wed!! So anyhting to be done in house or with kids has been done by me - plus this book to finish....

am okay tho - gonna stop stressing and demand some time over hols to finish book (was planning just to do family stuff for 2 weeks but can't now, oh well...).

mink your comments are SO KIND and really mean a lot, thank you!

fp hon, so sorry to hear you've been having a hard time, haven't found your other thread but it sounds like stuff's been getting on top of you from what you've said here...

big big hugs xxxxxxxxxxx

hope parcel arrived bm,

catch up later xxxxxxxxxx ps yeah the ciggie wreath is really sick!

Oh fg, hope it goes really really well this afternoon in the nativity! Can't wait until dd does something like that although I'll probably be so horrendously emotional I'll ruin it for everyone! Gosh, what does your dh do to work such long hours?! I didn't get the book yet, but our post doesn't arrive until after lunch these days ... grrrrrrrrrrrrr ...

Yeah, see you all later too. I'm meant to be working today and my minds everywhere but on the job ...

Hope Erin did beautifully...bet she did soooo well you can barely see past your grin FG
I am wrapping pressies...well actually, I was until the lure of MN got me...!!!

Mm, mailed you some pics!

Fg, the book came today and looks fantastic. Thanks so much. I'll get tucked into it as soon as I finish current read which is a bit turgid to be honest. Again. I'm ransacking dp's bookshelves and his tastes in fiction are rather serious! HOW DID THE NATIVITY GO???

I've had nutty cravings this evening . When oh when will they really go?

I think the moon controls our cravings BM, I have been cnoking on chewing gum the last couple of days..like mad.
Are you thinking of fags or is it the lung ache or what?
Mines just a weeny irritation of not smoking IYKWIM!
Getting a take away tonight and dipping into the Xmas booze............soozled already.
Cant get into bed till i wrap the pressies though!

How come you're wrapping so early, fp? What's your takeaway? She drooled as she tucked into her 3rd bag of cheese and onion crisps, too knackered to cook anything ...

Lung cravings more than anything. Really tugging ones, whispering 'just one little puff would make everything better ...'

early>>??????????????? usually im done and dusted by mid september...this is LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had mozerralla cheese sticks n chips n garlis mushrooms with saldad cream.
Hope your lungs stop whispering soon too pissed to type xxx

can't wait to see them bm, but i probably won't get them till after xmas as the amount of post these days is v. poor indeed or perhaps we just don't have any friends

won't be able to get on here much this weekend as MIL is visiting so will spend some time with her as we won't be going up this xmas.

fg, hope it all went well, i also can't wait till ds1 & 2 get to do these things and whilst i'm not a 'crier' i'll probably blub more than the rest of you!!! oh and i wasn't being kind, all those things i said were perfectly true

off now - am feeling that i should be doing something but cannot be bothered to do the wrapping!! night night xx

what kind of takeaway does posh mozzarella sticks?!!!

local pizza one best thing on the menu

got your pictures bm, what a beautiful family!! What are you talking about...what eyebrow?! you can also tell your dh that he's got that sexy rough and rugged look going on in that photo dd is so lovely, you could melt into those huge eyes of hers!

jenni, i also got your piccy of dd, what a bubba!! how old was she in that photo? she looks so sweet, what lovely chocolate eyes!!

hey girls, i think we must be the best looking thread here, whaddya think?

FG!!! i'm waiting to see your brood!!!!

Thanks MMM. She was 10mths in that photo :smile:

I smoked 6 yesterday and NO MORE. I have had ENOUGH.