Positive stories of being 50 + please!

[FeelingFabat50]

There have been a few threads recently in which posters have written a long list of the downsides of being “the wrong side of 50”.

I want to counter this by saying what I love about being 50+:

DC don’t need me for everything
DC can help around the house
HRT has given me a big energy lift
More time for what I enjoy, less time running around like a headless chicken
No more packed lunches, ironing school uniform, nagging about homework
No more people pleasing - I suit myself much more
Weeding out people who are energy-sappers and consciously only spending time with people whose company I genuinely enjoy

Anyone else really happy with this life stage?

Aw looking forward to the replies - I am turning 50 in a couple of months and feeling a bit down about it

If life wasn't finite, I'd love to stay 50+...

I'm 53 and very happy at this stage of life! Like the OP:

DC are adult, both working in jobs they enjoy and not reliant on me
We have actively decided that we won't get any more pets as we don't want the tie
I've picked my career back up and really enjoy the challenge of my job
Time for my hobbies and interests, I run and lake swim and have time to head off on outside adventures and then stop for a drink or food because no kids or pets need me home. DH and I do a lot of this together
I'm stronger and fitter than I have ever been
We have very nearly paid the mortgage off
We book holidays for just us

50+ is a good place to be,

Yes, I'll be 54 in a couple of months and haven't commented on those threads. I'm assuming that I'm either peri or full on menopausal and have read all the symptoms but not really experienced any yet. Same weight I have always been, low BMI. I've been a completely sole parent for 25 years and DD moved out earlier this year - I am absolutely loving it - the space, the living alone, everything. DD and I are still close and going on holiday next month.

Appreciating this decade so far more than any other!

Yes! Mortgage paid off! I’m also feeling fitter, stronger and looking much better than 10 or 15 years ago. It’s really not “all downhill”.

I like this stage for all the reasons already offered. Great thread! Very positive.

I also know that this decade has been denied to at least six people from my school year. A couple of them didn’t even make it to 25 let alone 50. It’s a real privilege to be here.

@TennisWithDeborah yes, this is a really sobering but very important point. I can think of about eight people who are a similar age to me who have passed away. It’s good to be here.

I will be 52 later this year and I think we are finally in our golden days.

Our kids are older, one has moved out, and the other is away at uni. Despite the costs associated with that, we have only one more year of paying after 2x undergrad and an extra 2 years of masters'.

We are mortgage free and can afford good holidays and don't think about expenses generally.

For the first time since we became parents, we are starting to focus on ourselves, enjoying the company of young adult offspring, and getting back to spending time with friends like before we had kids (ie without them!).

Downside - we are also at an age where friends are being diagnosed with cancer. We have friends recently diagnosed with breast, bowel, hodgkin's, oesophageal, laryngeal and kidney cancers. So, make the most of it as it can all go to shit very rapidly.

Yes. That’s why I wanted to start this thread. There are several around full of posters being so negative about being this age but there are so many positives.

Time for me. My own hobbies and interests.
My children no longer need me to wipe their bums and play with them. I have a whole new relationship. More adult and fun.
I couldn’t give a flying fuck what most people think of me and I’m scared of not very much. Happy to try new things. I’ve taken up open water swimming and did a firewalk last year
Feel able to say no. I matter.
Financial security.
More chances to travel.

I’m also enjoying trying new things. After just over 20 years of parenting three kids mostly on my own, life is opening up again. I’m excited. I’m playing the dating field as an older woman and my, it’s certainly quite empowering.

Love being in my late 50s

As with previous posters - 2 lovely kids are now in employment and happy in relationships
Financially we are ok - and can focus on what we want to do these days
No longer working so don’t get up with the alarm clock
My best friend did not live past 51 and so every birthday I celebrate and count my blessings- she didn’t get the option

I look back on my younger self and, if I had my time over again, I would not be so afraid or hesitant about life. I will also not take any crap from anyone - I am well aware that this age group is invisible to many people but that makes it all the more fun to observe what’s happening

This is my best age - and I am well aware that things could change in an instant

Benefits of being over 50 - I would say there are a lot.
I don’t have to ‘people please’ anymore, as family have all died. We actually have time to do things we want to do - and money to do them, as we aren’t forever propping up elderly parents finances. Children of relatives/friends have reached adulthood - and no more birthdays/Christmas to have to pay for!!!! Finally we can guilt free, buy what we need! Mortgages etc all paid off, money is finally staying in the bank and able to go part time and Dh has also reduced his hours.
Appetites have plateaued so dieting is so much easier (menopause at 28).
I no longer care what others think, so I wear what I want and do my hair as I please etc.
People listen if you complain - age brings some compensation! As a result things get resolved. Or I’ve magically learnt the art of complaining to get what I paid for…
Every bad day/week/month has been survived and life doesn’t hold any surprises that we cannot deal with. That doesn’t mean life isn’t exciting, just that we know that everything is temporary and can be dealt with, even if it’s unpleasant to do so, and the sun will shine again. Fear of the unknown seems to have vanished.
Health is pretty stable at this point on life.
I’m sure there are plenty more!!

I'm never cold, it's like a superpower.

Early sixties.
Doing a lot of walking. Ran 10k.recently.
Children all independent.
Elderly father in law who required much looking after died at ripe old age.
Freedom.
Time.

I have all the advantages you've listed in your OP, apart from the energy lift from the hrt!

I think the menopause is to blame for the fact that I can't seem to appreciate all those advantages due to low mood, plus I have lots of aches and pains. Maybe my hrt needs tweaking.

54. It is very sad that dh died but the silver lining is that my life is my own.

Ds is at university and we talk weekly, I enjoy seeing him briefly in vacations but he just doesn't need me, it is bliss. I just can't believe the freedom. Dating at 50+ was an absolute game changer, I had a lovely time and am now in a really great relationship with dp. Sex is unrecognisably better than ever before. I am not as fit as I would like to be but my body still responds to any exercise efforts. I get a few perimenopause type symptoms but annoying is the worst it gets, I'll take it.

Elderly relatives are probably the most difficult area for me but even there i think I'm lucky compared to many others- I am through a very bad patch to a point of stability. It can be ok.

I'm 64 and can relate to most posts, but the biggie for me is confidence and not caring about what other people think about me. I have joined a couple of hobby groups and a fund raising charity and made new friends.

I work part time in a job I love, and have the perfect work life balance. I'm a confident driver and an not afraid of motorway driving or driving in an unfamiliar city (as long as my sat nav works). I am a little more creaky, but enjoy good health.

DD is independent and living away from home.

Really good to read your positive stories!

I’ve just turned 50 and felt a bit down in the run up it just sounds so old! But i reality I’m only a few days older than before I was 50 so nothing is any different!

I’m actually looking forward to this next stage in my life

kids more independent/leaving school/starting Uni, work, leaving home etc
the holidays we will be able to go on when there’s only 2 of us
not having to go on holiday in school holidays
no more periods

I see colleagues and friends with babies/toddlers/primary school children and I’m just sooooo glad I am past that stage now.

No more periods, no more anxiety over getting pregnant, it’s very freeing.

I’m lying in my garden, my older DS is cooking us all roast beef later, my middle child has just brought me a cup of coffee outside. Life feels good. I’m relishing it after 20 years of being constantly “on duty”. I’m aware life turns cruel unexpected corners so I’m not taking it for granted. But when I hit a “sweet moment” as I have this weekend, I feel so grateful.

Yes very happy with this life stage & dismayed, more than a little worried that people will typecast me as (list= anxious, hot-flush-ridden, depressed, stressed, uncommitted, slow-learning, slow-moving, unambitious, moaning, unreliable, unable to work, distracted, lethargic, struggling, physically declining, hyper-emotional) bec of my age, not least based on all the Woe is Me statements posted on fora like MN. And menopause-awareness training at work, etc. I don't want ppl assuming I belong in that box.

I had a lot of challenges in many life domains in my 20s. Nothing in my 50s has been remotely as difficult. All of (list) applies less or even much less to me now than it did when I was in my 20s (!!)

Oh yes I agree with this. I've been the cold one all my life and now I'm snug as a bug.

Best things about being in my 50s -

I don't feel the need to impress, accommodate or defer to anyone in any way, shape or form. I'm me.....take it or leave it.

I'm on my second career and it's even more satisfying and enjoyable than my first. Pays less, but then I need less.

I know my style.

I can make my case in a polite way when years ago I used to lose my cool.

I have lifelong friends and lovely family who I know well and trust.

The confidence is amazing.

Yes very happy with this life stage & dismayed, more than a little worried that people will typecast me as (list= anxious, hot-flush-ridden, depressed, stressed, uncommitted, slow-learning, slow-moving, unambitious, moaning, unreliable, unable to work, distracted, lethargic, struggling, physically declining, hyper-emotional) bec of my age, not least based on all the Woe is Me statements posted on fora like MN.

Oh, I so totally agree with this ^^ @lljkk

I feel like banging my head on a brick wall when evry other post starts with "I'm feeling peri menopausal/menopausal.

I get that many women don't have it easy at that particualr stage of life, but the stereotype of all women being at the mercy of their hormones is really annoying.