Positive stories of being 50 + please!

[FeelingFabat50]

There have been a few threads recently in which posters have written a long list of the downsides of being “the wrong side of 50”.

I want to counter this by saying what I love about being 50+:

DC don’t need me for everything
DC can help around the house
HRT has given me a big energy lift
More time for what I enjoy, less time running around like a headless chicken
No more packed lunches, ironing school uniform, nagging about homework
No more people pleasing - I suit myself much more
Weeding out people who are energy-sappers and consciously only spending time with people whose company I genuinely enjoy

Anyone else really happy with this life stage?

For the 50s - with age you do get wisdom. A combination of more time to have learned stuff + experience. People will take your advice and take you seriously (not your own teenagers of course, that doesn't come until they are at least mid 20s).

The 50s are also a great time to get your body in order - get into a fitness habit, eat better for yourself, use the freedom from kids to actively look after your own mental health.

I'm 65 and had a lot of sympathy for the 50's threads - it's a bit of a shock to find yourself no longer really young, and even a good menopause is a bit discombobulating.

I'm nearly 53 with a nearly 13 year old. My mortgage will not be paid until I am 70 because of divorce. BUT the divorce was so worth it!

I'm almost 53 and got a period when I was visiting a school friend in spain, I couldn't effing believe it. I've been on hrt since January and before that I'd been on progesterone only, back to back, so I hadn't had a period since 49. Then, away, with no sanitary protection, I got a period. Couldn't make it up. But to be positive! yes, I couldn't even have gone on that trip on my own a few years ago as I would have had to have taken my DC (single parent) and it would have cost so much. Now I feel I can pop over with frequency and I'm still healthy. My BMI is 27 and I want to get it under (juuuust under) 25 so that's my goal, but not hating on myself while I try to lose a kilo or two through good health. No aches or pains.
I wish my youngest was older than 17 though, as he stayed back a year before starting school and still has his final two years of school to go. Then, hopefully, uni, or a job? it all seems like a long time, but at least my eldest is clearly happily independent.

@lljkk I know where you're coming from. I have had a few issues but I deal with them as an when. I really don't like to see employers have an excuse not to hire older women. I'm ok, i have a job and it's secure, but younger women face the issue of recruiters and interviewers wondering if they will have a baby, have another baby, make work their priority and now at the age when we should be free from that prejudice, these menopause webinar emails go out. I haven't logged on to one because I'm sure it's all as bland as blah and if you have a particular specific issue you can get a solution that is tailored to you. Listening to 45 strangers' issues won't help me. It's not that Im sticking my head in the sand, I am on hrt, but I want to ignore the 75 potential symptoms that are possible and just deal with whatever is an issue for me.

Not that I would not be sympathetic to my friends' various issues. But bringing it in to the workplace is a bad idea.

Yep, 50s probably my best decade.....
Don't care what other people think.
Working part-time (& planning to retire at 60).
Volunteering, which I enjoy.
Mortgage paid long ago.
No pressure to be cool, in fashion etc coz I just don't care.
Finally (eventually) hitting menopause, so no more periods - hurrah!
Don't have kids, but friends' kids now grown up & independent - for one thing, the parents can holiday when & where they want!
At peace with the idea that I'm old and, even if I die soon, I've had a pretty good life.

Enjoying these replies as I too will be 50 later this year and I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about it. I've loved my 40s and am now fitter and probably healthier than I was 10 years ago and now that I have more time for myself as my DC get older and more independent I intend to stay fit. I find I need to watch my weight carefully though. Now I can't get away with eating crap - the weight just piles on and around my waist - where I've never gained it before. However, I'm really looking forward to DH and I being free to go on holiday again - just the two of us. We've had an occasional couples weekend away in the past 16 years, but that's it.

I'm 48 and can't wait to fast forward to my 50s, my 40s have been shocking health wise and challenging.

So lovely to hear positive stories and I'm in the camp of having lost many friends young, so I'll be grateful to get there.

I don’t have to ‘people please’ anymore, as family have all died.

Sorry, but that made me laugh 😂

I agree with the “woe is me” menopause stories on here. Yes, it’s a challenging life stage but by God there’s a marvellous invention called HRT which our grandmas never had the benefit of; they were just “old” once they hit 50. Take care of yourself, get in shape so you can perhaps weather however long you have left in the best possible way. We have agency here.

(ps if you’ve tried HRT and it didn’t work for you, try another one but please don’t moan about it here. Let’s keep this thread upbeat please!)

@allthewoes it sounds like your dose isn't high enough.

A couple of people from my school year didn't make it to 18, never mind 25. DF died at 40, so I count myself as very lucky to have made it to late 60s.

Mortgage free
Completely unbothered about people's opinion of me/my weight/my appearance/my dress/what I read/what I listen to
Much more confident and assertive
Much more self-aware - age brings self-knowledge. Although I do cringe a bit at 20's 30's me...
I realise that there are a lot of things I'm never going to see/do/visit/read/listen to and have made peace with that.
I'm much more cheerful and positive - life, generally, for me is good and I try celebrate that every day, even in small ways.

Life at 50 is the entry point into Sniper's Alley. I am fully aware of how risky this next decade is

There is that, of course. I had a cancer diagnosis a few years ago (treatable and under control). Despite that, I consider myself to be very lucky.

🤣. Oh god the effort and money that went into trying to be everything to everyone and keep all sides and factions happy. The guilt of saying no, and the repercussions from saying no, …. Therapy does not overcome a lifetime of being told you were born only for one purpose in life-to look after the elder generations.
Had a celebration when the last one died. (And not stopped celebrating…..😁)

Enjoying this thread but important to remember not everyone is in quite the same boat. When I turn 50 my youngest will only be 12 and I'll still have 8 years left on the mortgage... I think the life most of you are describing won't come to me until I'm in my 60s unfortunately

Thank you OP!
I’m 70 this year, why on earth anyone at 50 thinks it’s all downhill and gloom and doom I honestly don’t know!
Yes I do have (serious) heart problems but I’m determined to keep doing what ever I like; this is my time, I’ve had a lifetime of putting others first. No more!

Call me an unnatural daughter, but DM emigrated to Australia in the 1980s. Someone said 'will you miss her?' and I said 'OF COURSE I will,' all the while thinking, how do you miss someone who's never been there? no more alcoholic rages, no more trying to reason with someone who was always right.

And I identify with the celebration. When GM died (not calling her DG because she wasn't) I got a call from DM. Mentioned it to my manager, who asked if I wanted to go home for the day. Thought about it then said, 'No, I'm good, thanks' and went back to work.

When I turn 50 my youngest will only be 12

DD was 8 when I turned 50. I agree though that having children later in life means that sometimes parental support (financial) is still required when you are thinking of retiring. DD graduated last year and is working at the moment before doing a masters. She will probably need some help with living expenses when she does a full time masters.

Ok…actually I want to celebrate the good things about this age! With respect - when you had a child at 38, this must have been a consideration. No, not every woman is in the same boat but that’s the case for every stage in life.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain god no - please don’t ever think you are an unnatural daughter. We do what we have to do to keep sane and carry on. Keep celebrating by enjoying your own life.

Thanks, I've made my peace with it. I loved DM and felt sorry for her . She didn't have a great childhood as a war child, our DF died when she was in her 30s and she had 3 children to care for then went on to be a carer for her DM so really never had a life of her own, and I grieve for her over a decade after her death but BY GOD could she be a pain sometimes. I have a diary that I use for therapy and work a lot of stuff out and talk about to myself.

I wasn't having a go OP, just thinking about how despite being in my 40s a lot of the freedom seems a v long time away.

Of course I considered it, but wasn't financially in a position to start a family til my early 30s and then took a while to conceive both times...

I'm slimmer and fitter than I've been since childhood.
Mortgage paid off next year.
No elders to care for.
Kids at uni and forging own lives.
Work part time.
2 or 3 holidays a year.
Plenty of time to see friends and socialise.
Feel comfortable, content and confident.

After some serious health stuff recently it's made me really reevaluate life. I'm stronger and fitter than I've been for a long time and I don't feel at all guilty for taking the time to make those changes. As a result I'm much less stressed and far less martyrish than I was before. So if you are wondering where your OYBBK forecasts are, it might be because Im out having fun. Sorry! I like being in my 50s.

I honestly can’t wait 😄 much as I love having small babies!

Positives? You’ll not be drafted into the water wars of the 2060s most likely, so congrats on that lottery win.

I’m nowhere near mortgage free either. I’m surprised many people in early 50s are tbh. We had no spare money for overpaying when kids were small or even much now tbh while they’re still dependant.