Steve is going into the hospice this afternoon

[onlyjoking9329]

i know he needs to be there and hopefully they can get him more stable.

OJ - I am so sorry you have to go through this - and it must have been awful coming home and finding him (I am assuming it was you - at least the kids weren't there - he must have planned that too).

Maybe I am alone in this - but I really question why we don't have euthenasia - I can really understand why Steve doesn't want this to continue - and it must be hard knowing that in the hospice he can't do anything about it, and no-one else is allowed to make that decision either.

I hope for all your sakes the next stages will be quick.

Have you access to counselling for yourself ? Maybe it would help.

OJ hopefully the consultant will help you tommorrow. You are right though there is no way you could have Steve home if you couldn't keep him safe for all your sakes. The real Steve would know this.

Nothing to add to the dozens that have gone before me, but I have been thinking about you all this weekend and hope that your strength holds out for the times ahead.

I pray that Steve finds some peace, he needs to be where he can be kept safe and at the moment that would jsut be too much for you to do.

I so wish there was something I could do to help you, but I am such a long way from you. You are all so brave and I am full of admiration for you. Don't really know what else to say except that you are often in my thoughts.

You've been on my mind a lot, OJ. I guess this is life in the raw, wish I could do something to alleviate it.

OJ- I read the thread last night and hung my fingers over the keyboard, willing something helpful or soothing to pop into my mind. I do believe that some people get to "choose " their time and Steve is trying to do that to spare you more hurt. I admire his courage, and as ever your ability to absorb and understand that. I guess it's a feature of a relationship as strong and loving as yours.
My mil who had suffered quietly for years with cancer, chose to leave us when she saw that the strain of caring for her was becoming too much for my fil and he had aheart attack. She died peacefully the next morning with a smile on her face.
However heartbreaking it is to have to see Steve in the hospice, I am sure that they have the expertise to allow him time to deal with what is happening and to allow you to prepare yourself and the children for whatever happens next.
I am not working tomorrow and if you fancy a coffee, perhaps somewhere Swedish or quieter, you know where I am.
Thinking of you and sending you a big hug.

oh christ oj i am sorry that i haven't posted for so long, i really hope that the hospice helps you both find the peace you so richly deserve. for ojfor oj and steve

thankyou for all your good wishes i will be back later and will be needing rum

will check on you later, OJ

hands oj the bottle

OJ, there's no words to make you feel better I'm sure, but I just wanted you to know that I check into this thread regularly to see if there's any news from you. You're in my thoughts
With love xxx

Sending you virtual hugs and the finest rum xx
thnking of you

Sod the bottle lucyellen- industrial size vats is what we need to find

OJ I see you are seeing the Consultant tomorrow.

My godfather needed caring for in a hospice last year but they had a 3 week rule !!!

Bottom line, if you had not passed away in that time you had to go elsewhere.

They moved a seriously ill man on day 23 to a nursing home full of smelly old people and he died in a horrid room, 5 days later.

The hospice was not full, it was a stupid feckin rule

Does Steves Hospice have this completely bizarre rule? I really hope not, or they may find a whole heap of Mumsnetters marching outside !!

See you later, with a bottle of rum and a ho ho ho.

Steve is under close supervision and still openly talking about killing himself.
he keeps asking me to bring him pills and razors in.
saw one of the doctors and steve told her he wants to die and thats why he is refusing food. Steve feels like he is being tortured and wants his torture to end.

OJ - I have no words - This is torture for all of you.

Thinking of you as always

hug to you
(sorry never posted before on your threads but just had to}

Oh Darling girl.

I will pray for you and your family oj.

Just wanted to add another message of support. Thinking of you all and praying for your continued strength

I don't mumsnet much these days so really behind on your news. I'm so sorry darling. Going to sit here quietly for a moment and think about you all. Sending you my love, TC x

Oh sweetheart Am thinking of you tonight.

onlyjoking, just wanted to register my support for you and Steve. Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending love.