Steve is going into the hospice this afternoon

[onlyjoking9329]

i know he needs to be there and hopefully they can get him more stable.

My thoughts are with you, as always.

just caught up don't know what to say OJ cannot begin to understand but agree with the poster who said your grieving process for Steve has already started .

poor steve and poor you, what a horrible situation. i hope that the hospice and mac nurse can support you both through the emotional issues.

Oh love. All my thoughts are with you.

xx

God this all seems to have happened so quickly OJ. It seems like yesterday when you first heard what he had. Not to you though probably.

SalVolatile says it all so much better than I ever could. One day we will all pay the price for our love and for growing and producing children together. For you it has come so early.

I hope Steve has found some sort of peace some of the time at least.

Wingsofanangel, a hug is often the best thing you can be given. The day after my son died our very dear friend Alec came down from London to see us. He is now in his 70`s and is still very much afraid of his immortality. I will never forget him walking into my sitting-room, he is a big, strong man, he looked at me and held out his arms. To this day I have never ever been hugged in a way that made me want to stay there forever, I shall never forget it. No words were said..........how often in the last 14yrs have I longed for that hug.

OJ, sending love and strength

OJ. Don't know what else to say.

OJ. I again am so sorry for the pain you and are family are going through. I can not imagine the pain you are feeling watchiong the man that you love, the father of your children, your one going through this.

My heart gooes out to you. I often wish I could do something, but some wise person once told me that the more you love someone the greater the pain of loss is and to lose them even before they have gone is unimagineable.

You are a braze and amazing lady and Steve is a very very brave man, who should not be expeericing this.

Hugs are very good as well as talking alot. I lost my dad suddenly last year and these things help a great deal.

Oj - I don't often post on your threads, but I hope Steve finds peace soon, if it is possible in these dark days. He must be in a very dark place right now to feel like he wants to end it all in this way.
I hope the hospice are able to support you all to reach some peace over however long Steve has.
To be able to say goodbye, and care for Steve the way you have is a huge gift, even though it may seem like a curse right now. For him to recognise his situation and to admit it is also a huge thing and is a step towards him finding peace.
My Dad died of Cancer 3 yrs ago, and he never really accepted that he was terminally ill. It caused him Huge stress in his last months, and we were never able to talk about it with him, or really tell him how much we loved him. My gift was to be able to nurse him with my Mother.
You are doing an amazing thing, and you have huge amounts to deal with even without Steve's illness. Please be kind to yourself, and try to rest while he is in the Hospice.

Hi Suedonim, our paths have crossed before I think, just sneaked a look at your profile, wanted to say how fab you look and what a gorgeous family you have.

OJ - been thinking of you today and hoping that you have found some peace at some stage today. Just to let you know that although I don't often post on your threads, I think of you often and hoping that you are getting the help and support you need.

it is hard cos there is no happy ever after for steve things are not going to get better, in fact they will get much worse.
i have a meeting with the hospice consultant on tuesday morning, steve just wants to come home but he won't be safe here how would i ever be able to just go and have a bath or do anything for the kids when he feels that he wants to kill himself, i think they will have to medicate him in some way, i can't see what else can be done.

Love and Courage, OJ.

Holding your hand, OJ

You are seeing things very clearly, love

You know best OJ, and you are doing everything you can for him, and the hospice is the best place for him, and you, and your dcs. I'm so so sorry this is such a terrible time for you.

OJ, just wanted to send you lots of love & (((((hugs))))) today. It must be so hard hearing Steve talk of suicide. All I can say to you hun, is that the man your fell in love with and married loves you to pieces and loves his children too. The cancer has obviously taken its toll but Steve would want you to make the best decision for the entire family (which by the sounds of it is the hospice).

Just try and take a day at a time (that's all I felt I could cope with when things got tough)and snatch some time, no matter how short, for yourself. Sometimes all I would do is lie on the bed and close my eyes for a few mins.

You poor things.

How aware is Steve now about decisions you make? Does he understand that if you don't have him home it's to avoid him committing suicide? I was just remembering before you said that he felt unloved if you didn't seem to want him home and I wondered if it was possible for him to understand that at this point it's because you love him that you can't have him home... ?

Lots of love for the days ahead, OJ. Wish I could do more than stand by and watch - feel so helpless and sad that you have come to this point.

Your virtual family are all reaching out to you; we are all standing by, ready to do whatever we can.

Lots of love...

XXX

xxx

Thinking of you this morning.

I too am sad it has come to this for you. Steve must be very confused now, and like you already know this is not your Steve, and its the bloody cancer talking.
I wish you strenght and lots of love for the days ahead. xxx

Good morning Oj, are you kids back to school today? Is it any less stressful for you when you have some time to yourself? As said we are al your virtual family, thats what it feels like on here doesn`t it, you lot have saved me many a time. Keep strong, lots of love xxxx

SEnding more love and hugs OJ xxx