Cancer Support Thread 84 - gently crunching our way into autumn

[mowly77]

New thread as old one about to be full. As those who have been around far longer than me have said: Welcome. Pull up a chair, help yourself to a biscuit, a large gin, or a detox tea. Or all three. This is a supportive thread for anyone with cancer to discuss how things are going, ask for advice etc., vent, scream, or discuss life in general.

Please feel free to join for support if you are going through tests as well, hopefully they will come back all clear, but if not we are here to hold your hand through the journey.

@SierraSapphire I have been thinking about you and the burden your DM is laying on you. She is being very unfair refusing to accept help at a time when you are so hard pressed. Have you sat down and spelled it out to her? What would she do if you were seriously ill? I think it would be quite reasonable to say to her that you cannot go on like this as it is making you unwell and unhappy. She needs to arrange for carers to meet some of her needs instead of you for your sake not hers. You could even give her a date after which you will not be able to help her. Ring Care Direct or whatever your local Social Care helpline is and ask for an assessment for her. You can always reassure her it is temporary while you are having treatment if that helps. But this current situation is very unfair on you.
I am cross on your behalf. I hope you feel well enough to get through the work this week too. I feel very blessed that I can just sit on my arse all day if I feel like it. Which I have been!
Sending hugs
Top x

@Podgedodge I had one recently, I was very overdue but having been diagnosed with bc from Screening I thought I'd better get it done, and I had to have my mirena removed anyway.

If you can access your GP record, I go through the NHS App, you'll see the result faster, I saw mine on there several days before the letter arrived. Now they screen for HPV first it's all quicker than it used to be. The waiting, as you know, is the worst bit. Hope it's all ok.

Ah thanks @TopOfTheCliff - I've done all those things, including speaking to social services, and she still refuses. It was the same with my DF and the burden fell to my DM, she also nursed both her parents (whilst working full time and having two kids), so she knows what it's like but she's still stubborn. I did step back a lot when I got my diagnosis and realised I had to live my own life more, I asked her to get carers for me but she said she was okay she had Margaret and Carol in an emergency (both women in their 80s with their own health conditions ) but it's difficult to leave her possibly having a heart attack or sitting on a hard bench at A&E with no one to take her to the toilet, or with the smoke alarm beeping all night or whatever and I guess the conditioning is strong to be a good daughter. The other aspect of it is that both my DPs were traumatised by different things and as a child I looked after their feelings too more than I should have had to. She's remarkable in many ways, she's 89 but she does all her shopping and stuff online, and she somehow drives to the garden centre and buys plants to do her garden, and she's very funny, but 🤷‍♀️.

I feel a bit better this morning. I have got a report to finish today, but I'm going to go to a BodyBalance class at the gym this afternoon, which I missed yesterday, and hope that my blood test this morning gets me over the line for chemo on Wednesday.

Hi
@thereisonlyoneofme

@SierraSapphire & @Fantasea
It sounds like such a difficult time for you all. I am sorry for your individual struggles fighting cancer.
I wrote on here a few weeks ago now.
I feel as if I shouldn't be writing on here.
I don't have a diagnosis and am still waiting in limbo for a first diagnosis/ result reguarding a tumour on my liver.
It's gone 3 weeks going into 4.
Can any one say if this waitbperiod is normal. The medics are having a MD meeting reguardingy case.
A pls take best care of yourselves.
Wishing you all the best with any future appointments and results.

Hi @Kins2 - things generally do move quicker if it's cancer, so you could take the wait as being encouraging, but you can't guarantee it. I've found the needing to wait for an MDT meeting can add delay into the system if something hasn't quite got to them in time and it's bumped to the next week, particularly if your case is less common. Have you got someone there you can call for an update (even though that's scary to do too)? Fingers crossed for you

Hi
SierraSapphire,
Thank you for your encouraging response.
I have called the secretary. She's great but can oy tell me if my results have been looked at or not.
As of last Friday, they hadn't been checked.
My case is uncommon and they are undecided what to do, hence the MD meeting.
My scan was sine as an urgent, but nothing since then.

Thank you again.
All the best with everything.

Ah @Kins2 the waiting is awful isn’t it? Sending best wishes

@SierraSapphire either we are sisters or our DMs are twin souls. My DM89 went to the garden centre yesterday to buy plants and is threatening to drive over to visit me. Luckily she accepts help and has careers in twice a week to clean and look after her. Also she wears a pendant for falls and is cooperative. I am glad you are feeling better and hope th E work is going well.

News on the portacath is good! I went in to the chemotherapy unit today and my favourite capable nurse sorted me out in ten minutes. All working and good to use tomorrow. Phew! I was catastrophising madly. Onward and upward.

Top x

Hi everyone.

can I join whilst being on the 2ww to the breast clinic?

@Kins2 thank you for your kind wishes. I also think things move along quickly if they strongly suspect cancer so I would see the delay as encouraging. I really hope you hear soon as the waiting is agonising.

@Fluffyunicorn1 yes of course you're most welcome to join us here. I have OC but there are many BC ladies who will be able to advise you. We can all hold your hand whilst you wait.

@Fluffyunicorn1 of course, come on in. I also have OC but there are lots of BC ladies here. How are you feeling?

Thank you both.

im feeling ok. Sort of going through being anxious then not so much. it’s strange.

I went to the gp last week because I’ve been getting yellow fluid coming out of my nipple when I press on the breast. She said she wasn’t concerned as no lump or anything but wanted to refer me as it could be an issue in my ducts.

I’ve never had to have tests for anything before so that’s scared me and the not knowing and wondering what will happen at the hospital.

im just trying to think positive that’s it’s hormonal or something.

thank you for being so kind.

how are you all feeling?

@Fluffyunicorn1 oh you poor thing, worrying about what might happen at the hospital on top of worrying about what's wrong is horrible. The BC ladies will know what to expect in the way of tests but I do understand your fear and not having had any investigations like this before makes it even worse. I'm quite mad at the moment. thank you for asking, as I have a scan and appointments looming. I've been on daily beta blockers since my cancer troubles first started and can increase the dose on 'difficult' days.

@Fluffyunicorn1 Welcome to the thread no one wants to join. Most breast clinics are a one stop shop so you’ll be examined by either a nurse or doctor first and they’ll ask you lots of questions.
Then you’ll have a mammogram and ultrasound with a biopsy being taken if appropriate and maybe a marker inserted.
At my clinic you get a little modesty cape made from old curtains to save you getting dressed between rooms.
You also may not have all of these procedures, it depends on the examination of your breasts. They are the experts though, and they see boobs all day every day.

@Fluffyunicorn1 sorry you find yourself here. The waiting is honestly the hardest part. The clinic as @MrsPnut says will be thorough- go prepared for a few hours at least. Take snacks etc! They are v thorough and helpful. Keep posting.

Oh and @TopOfTheCliff thats a great update.

Thank you so much for the info.

it helps just knowing what to expect. My mums not a worrier and she said all this worrying and it’s probably nothing. I know she means well but I won’t feel guilty for worrying. It’s a stressful time as you all know.

fantasea - I’m sorry your not feeling great today. Good that you doctors are on it with medication though.

I think the gp said I would only have an Ultrasound due to being under 40 so hopefully won’t take too long

@Fantasea
Thank you so much. I hold your words as encouraging.
I will come back on once I have a result and update you all. I'll keep holding in and try and patiently wait.
I hope all goes well for you.

Hello everyone

I’m hoping I can also join whilst waiting?

I have what was thought was a fibroid but it caused very heavy bleeding and then was found to have grown rapidly in a year. Have had an MRI which showed no suspicious findings ( as did the initial one a year ago) , but just because of rate of growth my consultant says need to take case to MDT. So another weeks wait. It would be a uterine sarcoma they are considering - very rare but with very poor outcomes (40% stage 1 and then 0).

Finding the wait so difficult - single parent with young children. Even then will just be another opinion as can’t biopsy without hysterectomy ( which I’ve decided I will have whatever now). I feel pathetic but honestly don’t know how I will get through the week.

Hi @Ridingladybugs - sorry to hear your news, of course you can hang out here. The early days of not knowing what's happening are horrible. I had endometrial carcinoma and a hysterectomy, which wasn't as bad as I expected, though after hysterectomy they also found ovarian cancer. As for getting through the time, lots of distraction to stop you thinking too far ahead maybe. I did lots and lots of research too about how I could get my body in the best shape possible for surgery, it helped me to feel more in control, but I read a research paper the other day that also showed that denial was a good strategy to reduce risks of recurrence! Feel free to ask any questions or just vent.

I said I wouldn’t come back until I know but I different gp rang me today about my blood results. To lecture me on too much cheese. Honestly I’m at work and finally asked her if my biopsy referral had been done yet. She said why do you need that? Err cos I’m on a 2week pathway. Anyway just got a letter for an appointment with haematology. Do they do biopsy’s there or has she referred me to the wrong place or have I got lymphoma even though my bloods are all fine?

Hi everyone

feeling very anxious and deflated today.

called the breast unit as i was advised to do if i'd not heard anything about an appointment, only to be told, "we will be dealing with your referral tomorrow but your appointment won't be for at least another 2 weeks." I questioned why when my GP told me i would be seen within 2 weeks and she said no it is 2 weeks from when we receive the referral.

so now i've got to wait at least another 2 weeks. I don't think my anxiety is going to take it :(. I just need to know what on Earth is causing it.

Considered going private but i can't find anywhere locally online that does that

Thanks @SierraSapphire

Im so sorry to hear that you ended up with finding ovarian cancer. I think the fear is now overriding any fear I have of hysterectomy if that makes sense!

I actually wish I could foster a bit of denial. Or at least be able to hold onto positives I have had ( in that the oncologist radiologist has said no suspicion twice) but I just can’t seem to.

I’m ok until I look at my young DC. I’ve never been good with uncertainty ( not that anyone is I guess).

My other fear is that even the MDT can only review the MRI - so I’m guessing it’s possible for them to not want to say benign anyway. Which will then mean even next week doesn’t bring any comfort if that makes sense?

I need to stop playing these ‘what ifs’ through. It isn’t helping me!

RE the waiting, I sometimes feel I want to storm in and take everyone by the scruff of their necks, and say GET ON WITH IT. I still havent had the results of my requested echocardiogram which I had in August, and paid privately for to get it done quickly. Theyve had the scan but no one appears to have read it, and they cant actually track it down now.

The waiting is hard, even when you get an appointment quickly the wait for the appointment is hard.

I think what I also hate about the waiting when you've had the tests is feeling like someone else knows my results and I don’t.

My sister - who has had BC - did say to me that I will over think and try to think through scenarios but trying to work it out is pointless. I do know she is right. I guess it’s another way to try and feel I control ( not that it works🙂).