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Original poster

How to collect a poop sample without it touching the bowl or water - sorry!

33 replies

Choux · 22/12/2021 12:26

The leaflet seems to show a bit of toilet paper to catch it but that's just going to go straight into the water isn't it?

Note that all suggestions need to be something an 81 yr old man could accomplish on his own. I do NOT want to have to help him!

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons82 · 22/12/2021 12:27

Ice cream tub in the toilet bowl.

tanstaafl · 22/12/2021 12:28

Cling film over the bowl

DropYourSword · 22/12/2021 12:30

Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but... when I needed to provide a sample I went to the roofer with a paper cup to catch the necessaries!

DropYourSword · 22/12/2021 12:30

The *toilet!! The TOILET, not the roofer!

Lightstoobright · 22/12/2021 12:31

Cling film is a great idea.

GameofPhones · 22/12/2021 12:32

For the test you only need a small amount that you can get from your normal wipe with loo paper.

Cheshirewife · 22/12/2021 12:32

@DropYourSword

Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but... when I needed to provide a sample I went to the roofer with a paper cup to catch the necessaries!
Best. Typo. Ever.
endofthelinefinally · 22/12/2021 12:32

I have had to do this many times.
Here goes.
Plastic takeaway box.
Place it across the bowl, it should just balance above the water line.
If the sample bottle doesnt have the little scraper attached to the lid, use a disposable spoon or knife. The sample size required is tiny.
Tip the remainder into toilet. Bag up the container etc and bin it.
A cardboard tissue box is more degradeable, but only if it wont touch the water.

OldTinHat · 22/12/2021 12:33

@DropYourSword
The roofer!!! Best auto correct fail ever!!!

DropYourSword · 22/12/2021 12:35

@Cheshirewife

DropYourSword
Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but... when I needed to provide a sample I went to the roofer with a paper cup to catch the necessaries!
Best. Typo. Ever.

Can you imagine!
“Hello sir, would you mind holding this for a second. What for? Oh, you’ll see!!”

Grimchmas · 22/12/2021 12:36

I used a plastic takeaway container too.

You could get him a disposable pulp bedpan that balances on the rim of the toilet, if he'd find that easier?

tanstaafl · 22/12/2021 12:45

The sample kit I was given by GP had a plastic band included.
Basically slightly thicker than cling film.

But as @GameofPhones says, you only sample a really small amount.

SoSickOfItNow · 22/12/2021 12:50

@GameofPhones

For the test you only need a small amount that you can get from your normal wipe with loo paper.
If you have a sample worth of stool on your toilet paper when you wipe you may need to look at your diet. (HCP btw)
Starcaller · 22/12/2021 12:54

@DropYourSword

Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but... when I needed to provide a sample I went to the roofer with a paper cup to catch the necessaries!
Hope you paid him a bit extra for that! Grin
Bluntness100 · 22/12/2021 12:55

Wedge of loo roll down the pan and then poop on that, and, ehrm, scoop it off.😞

alsksieh · 22/12/2021 13:06

@DropYourSword

Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but... when I needed to provide a sample I went to the roofer with a paper cup to catch the necessaries!
I read this three times in shock before I saw your correction Grin
tanstaafl · 22/12/2021 13:17

Me too. Plus why a roofer?
Do they have special training for that!

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 22/12/2021 13:21

We used paper plates. Was v funny 😄

RatherBeRiding · 22/12/2021 13:26

The sample they need to test is actually teeny-tiny. Catch a bit in a big wad of loo paper in your hand - probs best to do it mid-poo depending on usual stool size!

Ethelswith · 22/12/2021 13:30

Pee first

Then use a plastic bag of the sort that comes through the door for charity clothes collections. They're the right size to both line the bowl and e enough round the rim for the lid to hold it in place.

Easy to haul the turd up and take the size sample you need, flip the rest into the bowl for flushing away, and then you can bin the bag.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/12/2021 13:34

@DropYourSword

The *toilet!! The TOILET, not the roofer!
I thought you'd got the roofer to provide a sample!

For the over 60s 'poo sticks' bowel cancer screening I poo into a wad of toilet paper which can then be flushed away. Using a margarine tub or clingfilm means you have to dispose of that which could be messy.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/12/2021 13:34

@tanstaafl

Me too. Plus why a roofer? Do they have special training for that!
Years ago I heard some horrible stories about scaffolders working on roofs.
CaptainMyCaptain · 22/12/2021 13:35

@GameofPhones

For the test you only need a small amount that you can get from your normal wipe with loo paper.
You are not supposed to do this with the bowel cancer screening.
Original poster
Choux · 22/12/2021 13:59

He has decided to try to use some toilet paper to catch some. I supported this decision as I do not want to be cleaning up his plastic container or clingfilm!

He has to do it on two consecutive days.

He has just entered the bathroom.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 22/12/2021 14:01

Can’t believe he’s not taking up the roofer suggestion Grin