I spy with my 10/10 eye, a snifter of currants in a fat mince pie

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

TooT - my friend's 10 year old started hitting her when he was angry with her (like ''bedtime, now please Jack. I asked you to turn off the tv''. but in his case it was semi-learned behaviour ( he had always been a very physical child with a bad temper and when dad left - who was a verbal bully - ds carried on, expressing his anger and frustration and fear at her..

She needed professional help and the child was referred to Child and adolcescent mental health services in the end where he got a form of counselling and some anger management help. He is much calmer now (12).

But In the first instance, she recieved some good support from Parentline 0808 800 2222.

I have rung them before about ds1 when he was having problems at school and they were very nice, supportive and sign-posted me to other helpful organisations. They have a website too.

My ds2 is very physical and although he doesn't hit me, he lashes out at his brother when he is tired/angry/frustrated. So I do have an inkling of what you must be feeling.

In the meantime can you find a time when he is feeling calm (and you are feeling calm) to talk to him about why he might be feeling so angry/upset/frustrated? He may not be able to tell you straightaway, but let him know you are available for some time just with him - and I know how hard that can be with more than one child...

Let him know he is allowed to feel that way but that he needs to find a way of communicating this to you, without resorting to violence.

Are there events which set him off? (I know it sounds obvious but does it happen more when he it tired/hungry etc?)

Thanks fmf that is much appreciated. I didn't know about Parentline. Now, all I need is a quiet time near a telephone...

Oh Parentline are wonderful! I phoned them when I was having a very exasperated stage with ds and they asked me what kind of things really wound me up. I said not eating breakfast blah blah blah. They said "well does it actually matter if he doesn't eat breakfast? if he is not hungry blah blah blah. What are you worried will happen?" Really good sensible advice IME.

I have had baked beans and chickpeas on toast with grated cheese, my god it was good.

I have just done half an hour's wrapping with ds - wrapping the 6 presents he is personally giving this year. My god it was an uphill struggle. I don't know why. Oh actually I do of course. He got bored after writing one tag but I wanted him to do them all so I could show off how nice his writing is He wanted to cut the paper but I didn't want him to in case it was messy (it wasn't). He wanted me to put 3 colours of ribbon on every parcel so "it will look extremely beautiful" (it did). Just your usual basic 4 year with grumpy parent scenario.

I have made Christmas cake and the stollen dough is rising.
My lovely friend gave us an alternative Christmas hamper yesterday - filled with the most delicious and thoughtful things, and packed greenly in a cardboard box with crumpled newspapers, like a lucky dip. And of course the dcs got to throw the newspaper about so it was a toy too

I have 99% finished all the present shopping

have had minor strop in which I forbade dp to go out for a run and leave me with ds some more until I had laid down on the bed and gone on Mn for half an hour. And been made a chocolate and banana milkshake (has anyone else done this with bananas, milk and cocoa? it is superb and I am sure highly nutritious, and you don't need any added sugar).

and I even thought about going to the gym but I think my strop wore me out

TooT what is BHS like ethically?

BHS? I would suspect as bad as the rest, otherwise they'd be shouting about it. You could see if the Ethiscore website has anything useful.

get Green and Blacks it is still the nicest

I looked on Corporate Critic and yes they are fairly crap

oh dear

look it is full of iron

and even fairtrade (tries to recoup points lost on BHS)

But Green & Blacks are now owned by Cadburys who buy cocoa from farms using child slaves

Look

i just drank it

it is too late

I bought ethical hampers for the in-laws we visited in Surrey yesterday. I just know they'll raise their eyebrows and think we are being 'worthy' especially after yesterday when I couldnt help dropping comments like, anyone read Sue Palmers Toxic childhood? (innocently of course) its sooo interesting.

Well, it was a family visit and everyone in the front room was either on a ds lite, a phone, a laptop or watching tv. Bit like here some days but still, you know when whatever you say seems pointed.

Also got the, arent you so weird good for still breastfeeding comments.

TooT - I've just seen your message. Am on a fly-through as have to be at someone's house at 5.00.

Is he cross and taking a swipe at you in the way FMF describes her friends son? Or is he angry and coming up and pummeling you because he's so frustrated?
I'm going to think about it whilst eating mince pies and making polite conversation with GPs.

I think you do need to make a stand on it tbh. This is quite a volatile house, so I don't say it in surprise that such a thing would happen. Have got masses of 'angry strategies' up my sleeve from ds2s frustrations - including things to pummel that aren't you - like bean bags, ripping up paper, cardboard boxes to kick. DS1 was more of a swiper in his time, but I really can't think of a situation now in which he would hit me.

You need to talk to him when he's not angry, and lay down the law if he's a swiper though. Really right in the eye, I am your mother, you show me some respect, that hurts, it isn't okay. Here's what you do instead.

I'll come back.

That sounded like a fantastically self-important 'I'll come back'. Sorry! Didn't mean it like that, meant have to run and wash icing sugar off and brush hair and ask ds1 to put on socks for the 700000 time.

I have had mushrooms and onions (with cream and rice in a stroganoff mmmhmmmm), cauliflower, corn and peas

Hello!

We have arrived in Norfolk

I was up at 5.15 this morning with DS so it;s been a long old day, but I was allowed to go and have a sleep this afternoon

Dsis' DP has hacked the code for my Dad's wireless (he uses it for work so didn;t set it up and didn;t know the network key) so I can sit by teh fire and MN

Oh bliss

I have eaten 2 satsumas, dried fruit, a pear, some grapes, brocolli, baked beans, tomato and cucumber salad. Think I have done resaonably well considering we've been travelling & other people are cooking.

However, there are many mince pies afoot and boxes of chocolate, although my sister seems to have eaten most of them already

FK - OMG was just thinking about you - what happened about the presents he saw?

I got so carried away with my satan falling from heaven / naughty elf story that I told both my children. DS doesn;t believe and proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions. I even had a moral bit where the naughty elf's friend saw the error of theri ways and 'fessed up to santa and the good elves. He was called 'Bang' I liked him. Ds then looked at me and asked me if santa was really real!

he has non-believed for last couple of years.

Well, they haven;t been mentioned since.

However - and this is where I get that don;t know whether to laugh or cry feeling..

When we arrived at my parents, DH sneaked the box up to the bedroom where dsis & DP are sleeping. And left it in the middle of the floor

I was having a nice nap in anotehr room and DS came in and starting faffing about, then disappeared, and I heard bedroom doors banging. My Mum also heard and came upstairs & DS was in the bedroom where the box was. He didn;t say he had peeked but he looked a bit guilty.

I think he knows something is afoot and he shouldn;t be peeking, so is keeping quiet incase he gets into trouble, but he's not sure what for, iyswim....

God I have completely arsed it all up and he's only 3, so this was the first year he really had any clue about what was going on. I do feel rather a failure about it all

Next year he will be actively looking for brown anonymous looking boxes

LOL I do quite like the idea of making reality seem so completely bizarre that DS thinks the easier option is just to believe in that simple old story of the guy in the red coat coming down the chimney.

It is becoming a bit farcical though with me running round hiding boxes and trying to stay one step ahead of a 3 year old.

TooT I saw your post about DS and am thinking.

I know DS is much younger but we recently went through a swiping patch which upset me a lot.

Will be back later.

And now I am back again TooT, but will have to pitch off again soon.

MrsC - yes it was Nigella's pistachio one. But without pistachios because I couldn't find any - made with cashews. I think there's been a run on pistachios, everyone is making the fudge.

I made it with macadamia nuts and it really didn;t work evry well.

I froze it, which was perhaps the problem, but she did say you could

My stomach is vast. I am lying on my back and it is just vast and none of it is baby and it is all soft and this is the thing I don't get - I don't weigh any more on the scales. How can this be? And when do I start to look pregnant and not just potatoey?