That it's a basic human right for kids to be able to use the toilet at school?

[sorrysaywhatnow]

So, fully prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable, that it's disruptive to other students etc, but if your year 9 daughter has her period and is flooding, surely it's BU for teachers to say you can't use the toilet in lesson time unless you have a medical exemption for bladder problems? She had to sit for the entire lesson, refused permission even when she had to describe the problem to the teacher. I mean, really? I knew it was a new policy that the school had introduced, but I think it's ridiculous.

We don’t let any pupils out unless they have a pass for exemption. If your daughter is flooding so dramatically it should be followed up by a GP visit. They can help. You can help by telling the school and getting them to issue her with a toilet pass.

Ordinarily the longest that a pupil is away from a toilet is an hour. They could pop in between lessons. If locked between lessons then it will be e a two hour gap. Self harm, drugs, pre arranged fights, assaults, vandalism, meet ups, sex, filming, disrupting other lessons. All these things have and can and will happen. We don’t have the staff to keep these areas safe when we are all teaching. If you need info about best products to counter flooding ask any female teacher. I am doing well if I get one break from 8.20-3.15.

My daughter walked out of class as she had flooded. Refused permission to go. I was called by the receptionist to say that DD was being held back after school and boy did i hit the roof😡 i left work and walked in to school, spoke to the head of year and told her DD wasn’t staying. I offered her proof of why she wanted to toilet and she flustered and bullshited about policy.

That word is being used far to often when there is no such thing as a policy in refusing toilet time.

Stand your ground. She has every right to go

I just had this conversation with my year 9 after I found her water bottle untouched. She has stopped drinking all day because they can't use toilets during class and she says break and lunch it's absolute chaos with long queues resulting in limited eating time. It's definitely not healthy but I do understand the schools problem

@lovablequalities

I am a teacher. I pretty much always let lassies go to the loo. I could not give a shiny shite what the policy is. In near enough 20 years in the classroom I reckon I know who's at it and who is genuine. I WAS that kid near 30 year ago with a big flooding period and an absolute horror of what would happen if I didn't go straight away.

The "at risk" kids are a different ball game and blanket rules do not apply to them.

It’s not about who is ‘genuine’. I know who is genuine as well but it’s also the worry of sending ‘genuine’ child to the toilet when you could have a troublesome, aggressive or even violent child gone awol messing about in the toilets who ‘genuine’ child the meets and could be attacked by because there’s nobody supervising the toilets. This is the situation in many secondary schools

Tell your daughter to do what she needs to do and ignore the idiotic rules. If I were you I would raise it with the Head. How humiliating it must be for a little girl to be forced to sit and potentially face the embarrassement of blood stains on her clothes in front of the whole class. Periods can't always be planned around lunch breaks, especially when just started.

Even in a job where you can’t usually take a break a colleague would show compassion and cover or you’d be able to call someone etc. I’d put a flooding period in same category as being sick. It’s unpleasant and unsanitary to sit like that plus embarrassing.

I agree. Surely they should be allowed to toilet whoever they like. Put a time limit on it. Later than that then sanction.

A year 9 girl does not want to explain to her teacher thst she is flooding and neithe should she have to! Teachers want pupils to act like adults at this age but treat them like kids..it shouldnt be a policy IMO. Adults go when they need to so should a 14 year old!... disruptive my arse! Its probably a power thing they feel they have to enforce cos why the hell not...

Erm loads of people work in jobs that mean they can’t just go to the toilet when they want?! Bus and train drivers, people who work in supermarkets, in factories and warehouses, banks, hospitality…the lost goes on. Learning to control one’s bladder and bowel, and thinking ahead, is an absolutely necessary lesson.

As an adult I am a lot more confident with dealing with my periods, bladder and bowels.
If I had an issue with any of these that meant I couldn’t go for long periods without needing the toilet then I wouldn’t work in these types of jobs.

Kids don’t get a choice.
It’s not just about holding it during lesson time and nipping in between lessons as a PP said - there could be 50+ pupils all with the same idea and only a couple of cubicles.
Not only is it extremely daunting for a year 7 to be going to the toilet with a bunch of big year 10/11s but there simply isn’t time.
If they waited in a queue they’d be late to lessons which they’d get in trouble for and lots of them don’t like being in trouble.

I taught a double lesson today with some tissues shoved in my knickers because I couldn't go to the toilet to access sanitary protection until the end.
30 pupils, going in and out to the toilet at will? Multiplied by however many classes. Trust me your dc would not want to be going to the toilets, they would be in such a disgusting state.
I wouldn't mind a pupil walking out as then I'd know they were desperate. Those saying the teacher needs to be reprimanded - they will be following school policy, more likely to be in trouble for the reverse.

@Newbabynewhouse

A year 9 girl does not want to explain to her teacher thst she is flooding and neithe should she have to! Teachers want pupils to act like adults at this age but treat them like kids..it shouldnt be a policy IMO. Adults go when they need to so should a 14 year old!... disruptive my arse! Its probably a power thing they feel they have to enforce cos why the hell not...

Was a teacher mean to you at school? Ridiculous post.

I went to an all girls school and we were NEVER refused a toilet break if we needed one, no questions asked. I’m shocked and appalled that this is a thing!

As her parent, go and talk to the teacher as the first step. Perhaps he isn't used to dealing with 9 year olds with very heavy periods! A chat with her primary teacher could easily solve this.

On side note - ibuprofen can reduce flow. Iv used it to stop flooding in work with proper period pants and shorts.

YANBU that is absolutely disgusting. I'd be raging. My DD is only three but when she's older I'll be telling her to go anyway if she's refused and I will deal with any consequences.

@Slobberstops you might know how to manage flooding but you are an adult and clearly 13 year olds don’t have the same level of knowledge. It’s dreadful when it happens, let alone at school. A bit of compassion would not go amiss.

When DS1 was in Yr11 Norovirus was doing the rounds. A girl in his science class needed the toilet urgently but was refused. She was sobbing but was still refused. The poor girl ended up having a diarrhoea accident. The rest of the children were absolutely bloody furious with the teacher. They all went en masse to see the HT about it and the Science teacher got a bollocking.

Sometimes people need the toilet at awkward times. The human body is an unpredictable thing.

So mentioning periods is taboo? This is 2021 not 1921.

@sorrysaywhatnow
That is so unfair to your daughter.
That’s a very young age to be dealing with the hassles and pain of periods.

At our school was a girl who suffered terrible period pain and problems .
The teachers always let her go to the loo.
But another girl had cystitis and was NOT allowed to go, as she’d “ Been already that lesson” and I still remember her crying in pain.

I mean... it wasnr that bad when i was in school (15 years ago) toilets were minging and some girls smoked in there secretly but they were always open for us to use .. have things got so bad these days that they now have to close the toilets beteeen lessons??!

A note from a parent to say you had cystitis or a difficult period could go a long way towards getting out of class easily.

NewbabyNewhouse - toilets blocked with sanitary pads, sinks blocked with paper towels and taps left on, "things" smeared on wall, smoking, vaping, bullying, dispensers ripped from walls, plastic items set on fire.

I’m a primary school teacher and I’m like the toilet police 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 If I was to say yes every time though I’d be sat in the class talking to myself while they all sprayed each other at the sinks or climbed over the toilet doors. A line has to be drawn somewhere and the very odd time (about once per year) a child wets themselves and sometimes they’ve asked, sometimes they’ve not or sometimes I couldn’t even tell you (because I’ve been asked 15 times that minute already by other people). I’ll have a parent up complaining regardless and very occasionally I will fully hold my hands up and apologise if they asked me but I would have way more complaints if I just let them all go have a party in the toilets and it would be SECONDS before someone would be injured and it would be all my fault for letting too many go. You really can’t win.

In this case though I think teachers do have to be more sensitive. I’m not sure if children have grown out of the toilet carry on by secondary school but surely it doesn’t need policed so heavily by then?

@Hankunamatata

I know you're just trying to be helful but a young girl shouldnt have to take ibuprofen to stop her period from coming out so that she can keep her teacher happy, thats unhealthy... i phoned in sick to work once as had food poisening and was told i had to come in and to take the medication that clogs you up (forgot what is called now) and i said no, you can't make me take medication ..my body is doing a natural thing that it needs to do..so i will be in when im better!

I’m appalled, it’s a strong argument for private school.

It’s a basic women’s right to be able to go to the loo to address period issues.

Imagine the outcry if adult women weren’t allowed to access bathrooms in workplaces.

@AlmostAJillSandwich I have lasting issues with anxiety to this day about toilet access because of how my high school policed them. They were only unlocked for the last 5 minutes of morning break, then similar at the end of lunch. If you even managed to get let out of class to go with a medical exemption, you had to go to the office, find out which teacher was rota'd to have the key that day, go to their class and get the key, go to bathroom, take key back, then go back to your own lesson

OMG we must have went to the same school! I totally forgot about this. It was easier just to cross your legs but what an absolute carry on