Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Ornamental.. I was on ADs for a while about a year ago but came off them. Unfortuantely yes he chose to have an affair in the same area that we live so always run the risk of running in to her!! I did take St Johns Wort for a while and think I may start back on it again dont really feel deep down depressed like I have in the past - just down and to be honest I have never really had much of a social life as I work full time and like to spend my spare time with the kids - I visit other friends ocassionally and meet others for lunch etc etc but evenings are not so good as I want to get home and also DP is not always at home to babysit. Think a trip to Boots is what I need - I do know that alcohol affects my mood so I really want to be able to give up as much as I can otherwise there is no point on spending the money on the St Johns Wort - thanks for your post back to me - I am really glad I found this thread

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I've had an awful lot of scans and x-rays in recent months. It is terrrifying. Today I went to see the gastro man about my colitis. He wanted to take some blood, but I said no way. I think there is only alcohol coursing through my bloodstream today. They need to take blood to check my kidney funcion because of the drugs I'm on.

I've been much better about being more sensible with alcohol most of the time. This weekend was a bit of an exeption.

Hi All
Feel a bit of a fraud posting on here because in RL no one would be remotely concerned about my drinking. I, however, am aware that I had a long history of eating disorders which I overcame after 17 years about 8 years ago. In the past couple of years though, I find myself thinking about wine in the same way I used to think about food - as a coping mechanism - and I am having a drink or two almost every night. It doesn't help that DH loves his wine and we share a bottle together. Last night I had three large glasses (I am very small) and this morning woke up in a terrible mood, headachy and tired. I want to knock this on the head before it gets out of hand. So, that's me. I don't necessarily want to give up wine completely (and that is pretty much all I drink), but I want limits on the number of days I have a drink. I might try abstaining on weekdays and having a drink on Friday/Saturday nights. I haven't read the whole thread - is everybody trying to give up alcohol completely?

Hi Janni

No we are all at different levels of drinking some alcoholics recovering working through the 12 steps and others like you worried that their drinking is getting out of control. I have not reached the depths of despair with alcohol abuse yet but am feeling very sorry for myself and have been increasingly worried about the amount I drink for the last 2 to 3 years I dont have a long history with alcohol abuse like others but nonetheless I think that we all post on this thread indicates that we all know we have a problem !!

Good evening

hi janni. Like unhappy said we're all in different places where our drinking is concerned. Me, I use it as a sticking plaster when I've had a bad day (most days as I'm on my own with two DCs through the week as hubby works away), to help me relax after a trying evening with my feisty five year old, to help release the boredom of evenings in by myself; the list is endless

I do realise that I drink too much and am trying to get to grips with my triggers and have had varying degrees of success.

hi souvenir. We haven't "spoken" before, but I also suffer from anxiety attacks so can relate to your experience where alcohol is concerned. I also suffer from PND and I do think that although alcohol makes me feel more able to cope, it does affect my mood so much more.

hellobello, try not to worry too much about the results of your scan and the effect your drinking has had on your liver. I know that is probably easier said than done, but after all you've been through it's about time you got a break. Keeping it all crossed for you.

fio, your weight loss and better mood are giving me the oomph to knock the booze on the head. I'll just need to try rescue remedy for the panic attacks!

purple one, I can really relate to your avoidance issues. I have similar issues where bills and finances are concerned, although I'm a lot better than I used to be. My mum was terrible when I was a kid and we had the electricity cut off on more than one occasion. I was always determined to be better than that, but as my life has gotten harder, I can really relate to what she must have gone through. for her it was a toss up between feeding her four kids or paying the leccy; a no-brainer really!

Well, I've had a couple of glasses of wine this evening, but I'm stopping at two and having an early night.

keep strong everyone

Thanks for the words of welcome. I'll pop in each day. Good luck all!

HI Janni, please do, everyone is welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.If you are worried about how you are relating to alcohol, then please keep posting about how you are managing. Its nice to see the thread active.

Hello to everyone else.

I don't usually post at this time of a morning, but youngest DD was up in the night, then decided to get up at a hideous hour, so I will be a shrieking shack of tiredness by about 3 pm no doubt.

Hi Janni and welcome to the thread.

I think what we all have in common on here is that we recognise that our relationship with alcohol is unhealthy. Like Daisy said about the sticking plaster, we don't drink primarily because we enjoy it but because we're using it. We're all making an effort to control our drinking and for some of us the only way we can do that is by cutting it out completely. Keep posting!

How is everyone today? I've got a cold and I'm fed up with sniffing and coughing.

Morning. Feel SO much better this morning for not having had any alcohol last night!

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Souvenir, have you ever had medication for your anxiety? Anxiety has always been a problem for me, but it's more social anxiety - fear of people and fear of being exposed. I wouldn't have an anxiety attack alone or at night or anything like that.

Well done Souvenir and Janni for last night.
I did drink last night - the usual whole bottle - I now never just have one or two its always a whole bottle - but then I do drink alone. I feel at the moment like my drinking is my dirty secret - dp has his other woman/women and I have my wine. I almost feel like a criminal if I have to replace a bottle skulking to the nearest shop to replace the bottle he knows was there etc etc or hiding my empties in the boot of my car and also hiding the full ones in the boot of my car. I have another bottle at home (actually in the boot of my car) for tonight and then as lent begins tomorrow I am aiming for the 40 days and 40 nights without. Anyone else giving up for lent or trying to?

Unhappy - so sad to hear that. What effects does the drinking have on you and your life?

Hi folks, need to dash in a mo but welcome to Janni and keep posting. Fantastic result for those of you who didn't drink last night.

souvenir, that does sound like withdrawal symptoms actually and yes, you can get them on as little as 2 cans a night. Can I ask how long you've been at this level? If it's been going on for a while your brain will have become adept at combatting the 'depressing' effects on your nervous system, by that I mean when alcohol slows everything down, your body's natural response is to try to get back to equilibrium and 'normality'. Your body than becomes used to functioning with alcohol (tolerance) and when you take this away, the compensatory effect goes into overdrive leading to shaking, sweating, nausea etc. Good news is that our bodies are fantastically efficient at getting us back to normal within a few days. Keep off the booze and within a week you'll feel so much better.

I was also reading a study recently which said that there is a high proportion of alcoholics with already existing anxiety problems, who started off using alcohol to self-medicate. Unfortunately, once we stop drinking, all of those symptoms are still there, and perhaps worse because we haven't tackled the root of it.

Hi unhappy, I think sometimes when we put these conditions on ourselves like 'I won't drink again, or I will only drink at weekends, or even I'll give up for Lent' is putting undue pressure on ourselves. BEar in mind that your goal is to stop drinking Just For Today. That way, you won't see the next 40 days and 40 nights (in the desert ) stretching out ahead of you like this unconquerable challenge, and you may find yourself drinking more, just because you're 'having one last sesh before Lent'. But, if it works for you, give it a go. Keep posting, there will always be someone here to keep you company

Hi BM and teasle, hope today improves for you both.

And FioFio, thanks for your input as well, it's great to have lot of examples of how we tackled our drinking.

Excuse my grammar on that, too many commas. I was in a hurry!

Thanks for your post Ornamental I know what you mean - but am going to try - I am after all a very lapsed Catholic so probably wont make the 40 days/nights

Hi Janni - thanks for asking - how does it affect me/my life. I still function quite normally i.e dont drink during the day and wait until kids are fed/watered/read to etc etc and asleep before I open the bottle. I dont miss work or chuck sickies because I feel rough or anything as one bottle is all I ever drink and I dont really get headches or vomitting or anything like that just feeling rough/tired etc but I know that the reason I drink is to stop me feeling the emotions I dont want to feel. But recently i have become more anxious about my drinking ie. feeling like a criminal etc etc panciking if there is no wine in the house and having to go out to get some ie. taking kids etc etc it all feels so seedy and I wont to stop it - I know the days after I have had a drink I will be less patient with the kids - lent is just the next starting point for me - I could just as easily say I will start next Monday just wanted an excuse to have couple of nights boozing I suppose !!!

Hi FioFio think you have a point - I just dont see how I will be able to fit it in - I work full time and then go home to the kids -unless I somehow managed lunch time sessions and yes still with dp we have a very weird relationship - we dont sleep together anymore we dont have sex - but we are still together and dont want to lose the family life I have - we are more like friends than anything else now - and for the most part we get on just fine - I supppose a therapist woudl say I need proper closure - no more half relationship but sometimes life is just not black or white

unhappy, I know exactly where you are coming from with the hidden bottles; I hide them in my car till my DH has gone back to work on a Sunday night (he is away three or four nights a week), and I drank his bottle of Christmas port (he gets one every year from my DSis) and then had to replace it, but got found out as between the run up to Christmas and New Year the label on the bottle was changed . I tried to tell him he was wrong about the label, but I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. Anyway, I'm coming to the conclusion that I just can't have any alcohol in the house (well except beer as I have coeliac disease and can't drink that or it will make me very ill.

Some counselling sounds like a great idea for you, and maybe also your DP. Is the relationship definately over, or can you see things getting back on track with some help?

I'm trying to stop drinking every day as well, so will be here to help you day by day if you like. Giving up for lent seems like too big a challenge for me; I'm aiming for small goals. Last week I had one alcohol free day; this week I'm aiming for two and I've organised some household projects to keep me busy after the DCs are in bed.

I would not want dp to know about any counselling I had.

Thanks for you post LardyMardyDaisy - our relationship is not over its just not "normal" whatever that is!! I think 40 days is too long in a way but I did do 6 weeks last year so may be not impossible.

Good luck to everyone tonight fighting the battle - see you tomorrow