Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

HI Koi- you are right there- took me a hell of a long time to reach where I am now- and I still have a long way to go.

I wil be around tonight later, from 9ish as dp is out, so I can mince about the house and hopefully be around to chat.
Bad, pre-menstrual teasle has thankfully gone. I really notice the effect of my hormones now. I have been a woman on the edge (of tears, and crossness mostly) last week.

How's everyone else doing?

Bm hows things xx

This is a bit strange isn't it? Think it's just you and me teasle!

HI Koi! Hmm whats going on then?

I've just had a friend round, which has been very nice. What have you been up to?

Hi BM if you're around

Hi teasle, been out all day with a 3 year old who has just recently been toilet trained. Several mad dashes to the loo, whilst he was still protesting that he didn't need to go. I guess I wouldn't like anyone picking me up and running with me to the nearest available toilet, whilst shouting 'pee pee pee pee pee pee' for everyone to hear, then whipping down my undergarments and man-handling my bits. Poor wee thing, no wonder he's complaining.

I'm sooooooooo tired, my brain is refusing to work. He also had me climbing up on the 'pirate ship' in the park today, going down the slides and jumping on the trampolines. (which I secretly enjoyed at the time).

I was going to say we were jumping up and down on the tramps, but then I had visions of all you guys thinking it was my method of forcibly trying to get all these Glaswegian winos to go to AA meetings [AtillatheHun emoticon] .

Right, let's have a roll call: This is kokeshi signing in.

This is the only thread that I have contributed to where I havn't caused thread death, but it may be that my death thread pull, or 'allure' has worked its evil charm again.

I'm off to bed then

(Actually, I'll wait around because now I've written that I'm going, lots of people will post, betcha...)

Aaargh! cross-posted koi!

Aww missus, I can't let you go to bed thinking you are the thread killer for the night. Let me make it 3 nights in a row for me!!!

Unless all you guys want to come on and prevent me looking like a Jimmy nae mates for the third night running (and on a weekend too!) [guilt-trip emoticon]

I'm here, but I AM going to bed now, really.
Night Koi xx SEe you the morrow

hi everyone ,well I had three quarters of a bottle of wine on saturday night and promptly fell asleep ,my Dh said i should be able to have a drink without waking up the next day wanting more and foolishly i went along with it .TBH i woke up thinking well that was a waste of a night and poured the rest of the wine away , I have to say I like being sober ,i get more done ,i actually talk to my DH ,friday night we were in tucks just laughing about stuff . Last night went ot bed early ,im really tired at the moment but i have to admit i havent been very diligent about taking my vitamins ,so maybe its the vit b deficency ? Anyway hope everyone else had a good weekend ,heres to another sober week

Hiya I downed a whole bottle of wine on Friday after a shocking day at work - weird coz I only starting drinking at 9 pm and it was all gone by 11 !! Saturday/Sunday nothing at all mainly becuase I was taking the kids out Sunday and didnt want to be grumpy. Did really want a drink last night but refrained trying to pretentd to DP that I dont really care if I have one or not. Already thinking about wine today - why do we do this when we know we feel so much better without ???!!! I got so much done this weekend it was amazing even on Saturday when I was a little worse for the wear!! I am feeling very down right now hence the name!! I think I might get some St Johns Wort at lunchtime - does anyone know of any other non prescrption anti depressants?

Thanks

sorry cant help on the anti depressant front , you did really well over the weekned though ,just one bottle ,there are plenty of people out there who drank far more than that this weekend and you managed to refrain from getting more so i think you deserve a round of applause . How long have you been trying to stop/cut down your drinking ? Koi says it does get easier with time ,you start to think about it less. Hope you feel happier soon ,look the suns shining today,the bulbs are coming up and sniff sniff i can smell spring in the air ( or is that silage?) ,it will soon be light in the evening and morning ,no more feeling like a vampire ,going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark.

oh and looking back at your original thread ,your ex partners new baby will be very very ugly indeed now thats got to make you feel better !!!

Not ex partner but not lets no go there as I hate it when threads get taken over with other subjects and dont want to cause that - I managed not to drink for 4 weeks in November started again for Christmas (the way you do!!) and have been thinking of cutting back etc etc since beginning of new year but needless to say with the suprise announcement of another child not so easy feeling very sorry for myself but so want to be a better mum/role model not someone who downs a bottle of wine a night and tries to hard it !!! Getting very good at the subdiffuge (spelling !!!)

so sorry unhappy ,extricates foot from mouth, still it does no harm to imagine said offspring looking like a cross between shrek and yoda does it . Still think youve done really well re your drinking though ,given all thats happening in your life your doing remarkably well and a role model in that your not dropping your kids off at school in your pjs with egg down the front ,sick in your hair and a litre of vodka nestled in your dressing gown ( for modesty) pocket

dont like vodka Thanks for the encouragement

me neither ,strictly a wino girl (freudian slip),I think life looks better sober , i dont know about you but when i started drinking wine on a night ,nothing else got done ,oh the kids were fed ,bathed etc but it was the bare mininmum,anything else felt like a real struggle. I used to think 'oh i will do that in the morning ' and then i had to do it when i felt awful the next morning ,which made me feel even worse . Now i get up in the morning knowing that everythings ready ,so i can take my time. I can spend a good five minutes picking the egg off my pjs before taking the kids to school

you are right justwater but did indeed give indeed give in to the wine tonight - have promised myself not to drink every night and will read Alan Carr's book again and tell myself over and over that alcohol is poison - well it is indeed that - my dp is elsewhere tonight so i can drink without worrying about his opinion!!! Thats a real sign you have a problem right that you try to drink in secret !!

Better luck tomorrow eh!! You are so right about the doing the bare minimum I do the reading bathing dinner etc then I get stuck into the wine just so I dont have to feel but its such a vicious circle I want to stop and go back to drinking "normally" not in secret but is that possible ?

typing stuff twice a real sign of wine!!!

Hi unhappy, it depends, I guess, if you can figure out whether you've ever had a healthy relationship with alcohol and what the would mean for you. What would you consider 'normal' drinking' and when was the last time you think you did drink 'normally'?

It also depends much more on whether you really, deep down, are ready to do something about it.

Hello Unhappy. This is Purple One signing in.

I've often had that belief that controlled drinking is normal drinking. Yes, I have been keeping 'it' under control. Well, until last weekend.

Do not drink in secret. This is just MHO of course, but I tried that avenue, and when my dd found an empty bottle that I was too pissed toworry about...well it hurts everyone all round. She really told me off and said 'if you want to drink, then drink. Why the hell are you hiding things mum? Is there something your too scared to admit to?' Hmm

Had a friend over to visit this weekend. Bit of a drinker he is and when I told him about AA and stuff, he just scoffed and me and said 'you'll never be sober Caz'. In the next breath, he said I was boring sober and more fun pissed, then he promptly pulled a bottle of Sambuca out of his bag. Red rag to a bull? That's how it felt to me. If you put booze in front of me I will drink it.
I have refrained from drinking for a while now because I CHOSE not to go out and buy it. Not to have it chucked right in front of me.

Apart from ditching the friend, does anyone have any other advice for me? Like being more forceful? Not being so sensitive to what everypne else thinks?

HELP!!

If you have to control it its not normal Sorry but its not.

HI everyone.
HI Purlpeone!
Someone said to me tonight that if you are serious about getting sober, you have to put in as much effort into it as you put into... getting the drink, hiding the drink, planning the drink, going round different shops, manipulating situations to have a drink, etc.etc., that getting sober and staying sober doesn't just happen, you have to work at it.

I hid much of my drinking because I was ashamed at the way I was drinking. I knew it wasn't normal. Hiding it keeps it secret, keeps it hidden, helps perpetuate it.

Just my own thoughts from what I've heard tonight, and my own experiences. What does anyone else think?

And I agree with Noddy, too.

PurpleOne, be honest with those friends, it may even require you to be totally ruthless and cut contact with them if you find it too difficult to refrain in their presence or they don't take you seriously. I found it helpful to use the suggestions in AA: keep sober company; stay out of pubs and clubs; don't lift the first drink; go to meetings regularly; join a group; etc. One of the most important things I think for anyone is to plan ahead, don't be caught off guard as we'll more likely to slip up and revert back to old patterns of behaviour.

The thing about control is a difficult one. I can sit here and tell each person that they are, IMO, an alcoholic or problem drinker but until they are ready and willing to admit it themselves - and more importantly so something about it, it's totally futile. Moreover, I'd just alienate people who are genuinely asking for help, who can't see where they're going wrong.

I wouldn't keep coming back to this thread if it was so easy to address alcohol problems. If it was just a case of going 'well, I'm not in control, I'd better stop' there would be no rehab, no Alcoholics Anonymous or people dying of alcohol related deaths. All I can do, as someone who has been there, is point make suggestions and try to offer support. I will be honest, and have the best of intentions, if the poster seems ready to take it to the next level.

Just because I no longer drink, and haven't for a while, doesn't mean I'm any better than anyone else. People helped me to get to where I am and the least I can do is to try and pass it on to others. My way won't be the way for everyone so I try to see it from other people's point of view. Even if it's blindingly obvious that someone is a bottom end alcoholic, it's up to them to make that life-changing decision that dealing with a drink problem requires.

I hope everyone feels they can post on here honestly, it takes a while to figure out where you are on the spectrum. Please don't be put off, it's for everyone, whatever stage their drinking it at.