Support Thread for Anyone Affected by Cancer

[mummydoit]

I know there are a few of us with DHs or other relatives suffering from cancer. Anyone want to join me in a support thread?

I'll kick off with something positive as DH is doing really well at the moment. The radiotherapy he had over the summer has eased his symptoms so he's able to swallow well and eat almost normally. Still has to avoid certain foods and has to eat slowly but at least he can eat! One of the secondary tumours on his liver had grown slightly but not enough to need treatment. He'll have another scan in December and we're hoping for no change again. If and when he does need more chemo, there's a clinical trial we're hoping he can take part in. Only one in four people are suitable, though. He's had the blood test to see if he is suitable and we're waiting for the results of that.

Sadly, my Dad isn't doing so well. He's been in hospital on and off since June, first having his stomach feeding tube fitted, then he got an infection which turned into c. difficile. He was only home for ten days after that when he started coughing up blood and ended up back in hospital. Thankfully, he's back home again and doing okay though they had to stop his chemo when he got the infection and he's still too weak for them to start it again.

We're approaching Christmas with mixed feelings. Positive regarding DH. This time last year, he was very ill and hadn't been diagnosed. He could barely eat at all and Christmas was awful. This year he's so much better and we're looking forward to a much better Christmas. However, we're sad about Dad as it looks very likely that this will be his last Christmas with us. Plus he's unable to eat or drink at all now so what sort of Christmas will he have? Or my mum who feels guilty eating in front of him and definitely won't be making a Christmas dinner for herself or buying any Christmas goodies.

For anyone who hasn't read any of my threads before, DH and Dad both have cancer of the oesophagus. Dad was diagnosed five years ago, DH in February.

daisy, that must be so hard, being so far away. i hope you have support nearby, to help you through and offer you strength. (((hugs)))

becky - my heart goes out to you. what an emotional time having a baby is, without you and your poor dh going through that. i wish you all the strength you need to get through the MRI and everything that follows. (((hugs)))

my SIL is due to start her chemo in the next couple of weeks. can anyone tell me what we are likely to expect please? is there anything we can do/get to ease the effects afterwards?
tia

becky...sorry about your DH

tibsy, my mum had chemo four years ago for non-hodgkins lymphoma (it is ironic that she came through that, but the lung cancer has beaten her). After her first dose she was really very sick, bad nausea, loss of appetite, lethargic and sleepy and felt very cold and shivery while the nausea lasted (it kicked in three or four days after the treatment and lasted for three or four days itself). Once that had passed she felt reasonably OK until the next treatment (she was getting it every three wekks iirc). Her hair started to come out after her second dose, and by the fifth she had no hair left.

that said, I think the hair loss is dependant on which drug they administer, and not all people have the same degree of symptoms. My mums' friend who was getting the same treatment as her wasn't quite as knocked out by it as mum and only had the odd day off work, but he was 20 years younger than mum.

Wishing your sister a good outcome from this

Daizydoo, I just wanted to send best wishes to your mum. I had thyroid cancer treatment in 2006 which was a total thyroidectomy and RAI. I got my all clear in November 2006 and have been very well since finishing treatment. There is a very helpful support group on Yahoo specifically for thyca if/when she needs it. Rachel

Becky, so sad to read your story. I wish your DH well and hope he recovers.

It's Dad's funeral on Thursday and I'm dreading it. I haven't been up yet or seen any of my family so I've felt quite removed from the whole thing. I think it's going to hit me hard when I walk into the house and he's not there.

We have another worry now as DH is struggling to eat again. He's had bad days on and off for a couple of weeks but the past few days have been particularly bad so I think the tumour must be growing back. I've just arranged for him to have a scan on Wednesday next week. I really hope I'm wrong but I'm anticipating being told he has to go straight back on chemo.

I hate this disease so much.

Oh mummydoit, I am so sorry to hear about DH. You must be very worried about Thurs as well. Did you find some child care? Will be thinking of you over the coming weeks.

Becky, I am very sorry to hear about your DH. Take care.

OJ, how are things with you? Have been following steve's story for a long time but dont' think we have "spoken" before. Hope you are OK.

My FIL is mid chemo and is bearing up quite well. Bit tired but not sick, thank goodness, and glad at least his treatment has started. It's a bit of a trek though as they live in Peterborough and all the treatment is in Cambridge. When he starts radio every day, then it will be a real pain. I am loooking into finding them somewhere to stay in the area if I can.

Best wishes to everyone else.

I managed to book a nanny for the afternoon so that's one worry off my mind. Just got to get through tomorrow now.

It's a pain when treatment isn't close to home, Dolly. We have to travel 45 minutes whenever DH needs treatment - and that's on a good day. If we hit rush hour on the M25 it can take well over an hour.

hello everyone.
just popping in to say i will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow mummydoit.
glad you got the childcare sorted out.
OJ

thinking of you and your family mummydoit, and wishing you strength to get through tomorrow.

OJ, I've not checked your other thread as this is a quick visit, but I hope Steve is doing OK and that his meds are working for him again.

I hope everyone else is doing OK

Mummydoit, if you lived near me I'd help you out with your DS's! I hope you have found a suitable person to look after them for you.

Sending hugs.

Hi All,

Just to let you know that my mum passed away. I managed to get her into see her consultant but she was rushed to hospital the night before. the following day she seemed to pick up a little and there seemed to be light at the end of another long tunnel, but unfortunately she passed away the following day. Life seems so lonely without her. The funeral was last thursday and it still feels very surreal that she is no longer with us. I am trying my best to concentrate on my dd but that is so hard as well as I just want to curl up into a ball and not see anyone.

Mummydoit, I am so sorry about you losing your father.

I haven't been on mumsnet for a while as I was diagnosed with leukaemia in July so have been in and out of hospital having chemo and generally feeling crap. I've finished my treatment now and am back at hospital tomorrow for a bone marrow and my maintenance treatment. Fortunately I've been given a good outcome (as I had one of the better leukaemias) so hopefully I'll be OK. I can't tell you how shocked I was at being told what I had and how gruelling the treatment was.

emmywoo, my heart goes out to you. It's a very srange thing, but they all seem to get better before they leave. My DS1 did the same. He sat up for the first time in days, ate a bowl of readybrek on my lap and gave me a huge hug. He never woke up again.

Sending big hugs.

Vev, I had to smile, you have 'one of the better leukaemias', bless you.

My DH's DS1 from a previous marriage died of ALL at 16 months.

My friends DD is battling her relapse at the mo, she's 10, the age DS1 would have been now. I also have other friends whose kids are in remission and doing really well.

No Leukaemia is good to have, but I do know what you mean!

All the very best to you.

emmywoo, I'm so sorry about your mu, and sending you some hugs. It will seem surreal for some time, but it's a natural paert of the grieving process and slowly it will get better.

Give yourself all the time you need to grieve and take care of yourself, as well as your precious DD.

Vev, wishing you all the best for your treatment tomporrow.

Mummydoit and emmywoo: so sorry to hear about your losses. This is such a cruel disease.

Lena, your posts have made me cry. No one should ever have to go through something like that...

if you search for neuroblastoma you will find a thread about Jack with links on it, if anyone would like to, he has a website with his story and photos on.

lena, I saw some of your earlier posts on here, and visited Jack's website. He sounds like he was a really brave boy

Your words were both heartbreaking and awe-inspiring

Thank you for your kind words, Jack made me who I am.

my thoughts go out to all you lovely ladies and wish that you all have the strength and support that you need to get through everything you are facing (((hugs)))

how is everyone? I was going to visit my mum this weekend, but I've been struck by a D&V bug so not able to go. she really doesn't need this on top of everything else.

Hopefully things will have calmed down and I'll get up there next weekend.

mummydoit, I hope things went as well as expected yesterday. thinking of you x

Emmywoo, so sorry to hear about your mum.

The funeral went as well as these things can. It wasn't exactly how I'd have chosen it but it was what Mum wanted and that's the most important thing. She's drawing a lot of comfort from the thought that she 'did Dad proud'. The church was packed and people travelled amazing distances to be there - some travelling 300 miles or more. Two of Dad's close friends read eulogies and they were absolutely perfect. Summed him up to a tee and had us all smiling with memories of him. To be honest, I feel worse today than I have at any time since he died. I think I was dreading the funeral so much that it blocked out some of the grief. Today, with the funeral over, the grief has swamped me and I can't believe that my lovely, wonderful Dad has gone.

Thanks for the best wishes. I went to clinic yesterday and had a bone marrow - they're horrid and hurt after! It's so frightening being diagnosed with a life threatening illness - and horrible for everyone close to you. I'll be on 2 years of maintenance treatment with bone marrow tests every 3 months! Lovely!. I've got acute promyelocytic leukaemia. The chemo's knocked me for 6 but luckily I don't need a bone marrow transplant.

So sorry for everyone's losses.

I've not heard of that one, DH's DS had A.L and that's what most of our friends kids had too, a couple had A.M.L.

My friends DD has been in hospital again for platelets and blood and she's on I V antibiotics again! She is back home now, with the nurse going out daily to give the Antibiotics.

Mummydoit. your dad sounded like a well loved fellow. the funeral sounded like a fantastic tribute to a special man. i hope you can take some comfort from that. (((hugs))

vev - that sounds bloody horrid. my SIL has just started her chemotherapy treatment for ovarian cancer. atm she's ok, very tired obviously, but its just so dreadful for her. shes trying to remain positive for her sake as well as for her boys, dh and rest of the family, but it must be hard, when it just seems so unfair and cruel.