This is the one where none of us fail! -Quitting fags thread.

[charliecatthenonsmoker]

Waiting for some friends to join me!

Hi Prefernot, pleased to see you here!
The best person to ask about the initial craving is Mammya as the rest of us are nicotine junkies sucking on lozengers as we have tryed and failed on every other method known to mankind.
I do know that the nicotine has left your system after 3 days though and then all you have to fight is the mental urge to have Just One...which I know is easier said than done.
it sounds like you have had enough of smoking and the time is defintly right for you and you have done well to cut down so much.
Have you read Allen Carr thats a fab book, and theres a link near the start here to a website with some fab reading material there to get you in the mood.
We all seem to resort to a stiff drink in the evening when we are having a dodgy day but at least that way we wake up the next morning without failing on our quest.
Please come back and let us know how you get on, im sating this as quite a few people have popped in and disapeered for good! And Good Luck.
My fave saying at the moment is i might have a bad day and want to smoke a fag, but its better than having a bad day and smoking and wishing I wasnt smoking.

Hi Prefernot, well done for taking the plunge! As cc says, it takes about 3 days for the nicotine to leave your body and I've found that's when the physical symptoms are the worst, you feel terrible and pick fights with everyone about anything. After that the physical cravings disappeared for me, and all that's left is the nicotine monster in your head that says "you've done really well, you really deserve one now, go on, just one won't hurt, etc". In the first few days, when you're feeling physically sick, just remind yourself that it won't last very long, it's just your body saying "feed me, feeeeeed me my nicotine".

Thanks for the warm welcome. Ok, so maybe by the end of the week I'll be feeling less like lying on the floor chewing at the carpet ... ?

I'm a bit of a nervous wreck in general and although I know it's an illusion, I really feel the smoking helps to keep me calm. I read Allen Carr about 10 years ago when I gave up before for 2 whole years at which point I messed up and started again only worse than ever before ... You're never really free once an addiction's inside you are you? It really is a case of taking one day at a time ...

I'll see if I kept Allen around though. He might give me another good pep talk.

What I've done so far is videod the worst of those anti-smoking t.v. ads and put one on every time I feel the urge! Can't do that all the time though obviously ... I know that the first little conflict with dd tomorrow will have me searching for old nubs in the bin ... yuk ...

I know how you feel big deep breathes and leave the room...cooking cant stop!

Prefernot, have you installed that counter thing on your computer? I find it helps me a lot in my resolve, because I feel really proud of myself when I see how long I've been a non smoker/how many cigarettes I haven't smoked/how much money I've saved, and I would hate to have to restart it.
Currently my "numbers" are: 2 weeks 13 hours 26 min/291/£69.89. I can sense a frivolous treat coming my way soon!

prefernot, first of all WELCOME I agree with cc in that you seem as ready as you will ever be to beat this thing. remember that there is never a perfect time and i know that fg and cc (not mammya, she's an angel ) can testify that the whole yoyoing thing never reaches a point where you completely feel that you're 100% done...in other words there will always be those mental or even physical cravings but it's a fight and one we are all willing to win!!

under NO circumstances must you rummage in your bin as it is thoroughly degrading (i can say this as i have often done this, even smoked one that had laid out in a flowerpot for a week and felt like being violently sick after!) and unnecessary YOU CAN DO THIS!

For helpful cold turkey hints, mammya's the one to listen to although if you're finding it really tough getting through the day, it might be worth considering a substitute to help you out. i have 2 boys under 2yrs so i completely understand the tearing your hair out days and at the moment am resorting to a glass of wine to relax the nerves once they've gone to bed.

btw everyone, had a reasonable day today although ds1 was well grumpy this evening and wouldn't eat dinner because he was too tired, so that drove me a bit insane!

Forgot to tell you all that my baby boy (still talking about ds1) is starting nursery 1 full day a week next week so we have to 'settle' him in for 3 days this week 1 and half hours each day (dh on holiday)....thought i'd be okay but now starting to chicken out at the idea of him becoming a boy !!! he's only 2 at the end of the month!!

oh yeah forgot ot mention that! mammya you should treat yourself whenever you feel the urge!!

off to bed now silent people [smilel] see you tomorrow!! xxx

welcome prefernot! Lovely to have a new joiner!

I have smoked since I was 18 I think, tons and tons, am now 40 ys old with twin boys aged 7 and a girl of 4, and I did think like you that I needed a fag to help me cope with them - but the rigmarole of sneaking out for ciggies became so stressful and guilt making that I hated myself every time I did this, and hated myself even more for coming back inside stinking, and my sons realising what I was up to - and more than anything the control that cigs had over my life.

Am now 1week and 1 day off, and feel totally fine - am using lozenges which I prefer to patches cos instead of doing nothing, and just wearing a patch, at least popping one in the gob counts as doing something physical! (if you know what I mean). They have gone from tasting chalky & horrible to being quite yum.

Honestly I was the world's worst chuffer, had an odd one during my pregnancies too - deep shame - but have felt LESS stressed these last 8 days, due to no sneaking out... and feel v proud too.

Am sure you can do it WHEN the time is right.

mm, he'll be fine - nurseries are wonderful places! There'll be so much exciting new stuff for him there, friends to be made, fab toys and stuff - but I do sympathise as when my boys started (at 1 yr old) I came home and sobbed and sobbed.

He'll be fine, and you will too - hope the settling in goes well, good luck xxxxxxx

how are you today cc? I cleared out ONE black binliner of crap from boys' room, spurred on my your mammoth efforts! Well, it's a start... felt realaly good, kinda 'cleansing...'

Hello folks, having a major PMT crisis here and about 15 mins ago I was going to tap a fag off my mum but i though if I have 1 I will HAVE to reset my timer, I looked for some stray bits of herbal (none) and didnt. But nearly...nearly ...I am well pissed off with doing EVERYTHING in the house, all dp does it chuck a few toys in the toy boxes when he gets in and thats it.
I do everything else bills, kids packed lunch boxes, dinners, partys, noses, loo cleaning, dishes, washing, folding putting away, etc etc etc etc and it occured to me that if I drop dead or just f off and leave then dp would HAVE to do some of these things, well actually ALL of them.
Or if he lived on his own he would do his dishes, clothes, bills etc and its only because muggins here does it that he has none of it to do. Feeling like an unappreciated piece of shit actually.
He does work long hours yes, which is his excuse, but im sure if I died he would still work long hours but then the responibilty of getting the kids to a childminder or whatever would be his, so would the loo cleaning the dishes the dinner bla bla bla and so WHY do I have to do it all.
TBH I think he would move back to his mothers, dont know what would happen to the kids, but it took him 3 hours to get his finger out and find one of the girls clothes last night...thats how Fing useless he is. There are 2 kids who need clothes the nexy day..not just one.
Ha Ha ...and he started to say last night that my job was easier because the kids got themselfs out of bed....so I reminded him that yes for 18 months of both thier lifes I did have to pluck them out of thier cots...SO F** what?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! But thats his idea of my life being so much easier...yes lovely they can walk out of bed, but they dont get themselves fully dressed with lunch boxes and wave themselfs out the door do they??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
So as you may have realised im in the mood from hell here.
3 weeks and 4 days and 5 hours and 42 mins.

PS MM your ds will probably LOVE nursery, most kids do and you will love the peace. Do NOT feel guilty, hes socialising and you are regaining a small part of your brain for the small time hes gone, and even so youll stil have ds 2 to look after.
And Fg well done on the decluttering!
And Hello Mammya and Prefernot!

Thanks so much for the welcome you successful ex-puffers. I think you're all doing so well.

So I didn't have any yesterday or in the evening but this morning I did have a couple of puffs which made me feel very cross with myself. I'm actually feeling rather weird and wonder if it's nicotine withdrawal? I feel kind of tight in my chest, some palpitations, a bit shaky and light-headed and very very jittery. Ring any bells?

Oh, mm, my heart goes out to you. Only this morning we took dd (2) to see a nursery we're thinking of her going to for 2 days a week. It's a sweet place and the staff are lovely and they have a vacancy right now but I'm totally procrastinating about whether to send her or not. She's my little baby girl, I'm so worried about her fending for herself just yet. I kind of concluded that I might leave it until she's 3. But I dunno. .

So how do I get this counter thing on the computer, that is a good idea ...

Here is the counter...we have the silk quit one...
The symptoms toy describe are nicotine withdrawel...no more puffs!

Is it really cc? I've been thinking I'm hypoglycaemic (spelling?!) or having a heart attack or something. I'm really feeling lousy today. Very weak as well. Can that all be down to nicotine withdrawal? In a way it's helpful as I feel too crap to fancy a fag ...

Will look at the counter now. Thanks.

www.whyquit.com/FreedomIndex.html Also copy and paste that and do some reading Going to get dd from school now.x

Thanks cc. Will do that. Couldn't open the counter but I'm on a mac so might have to look on the site for an alternative one.

Me? an angel? That's very kind of you Minkmama but I wish...

www.pe.net/~bsheafer/Pages/sw.html#qt for mac users quitometer
Short of leaving I dont know what to do to get dps finger out of his arse. Is it wrong of me to want him to put a load on and then unload it once in a while, finish the dishes, rinse the bath after using it, put the kids to bed before they get too tired?

no it's not cc! i have since chatting to friends realised that dh probably does more than your average man but that doesn't stop him from moaning! i have OFTEN or should i say regularly pointed out to him that this is no easy job and sitting at a desk with regular breaks and just the freedom to think selfishly with only yourself to think about is MUCH EASIER. luckily he realises this but that hasn't stopped us from having barnies or me clearing up both after the boys and him. at least the boys can't do it for themselves but an adult man is no excuse is it CC? Unfortunately you will have to satisfy yourself in the knowledge that you are not alone and we women all suffer somehow!!! You rant all you want!!

Prefernot - i still get all jittery in the hands and feel really weird when i get a major craving! i think at your stage it's probably mostly physical but it does carry on for a bit psychologically and hopefully htat will also pass!

DS1 had a great time today but got a bit tantrumy at the end out of tiredness. tomorrow we go back for another 2hrs and leave the room and fri again. Tues 9th the BIG day 9-4/5ish!!!
They don't do sessions for under 2andhalf kids but we reckoned some play and learning was better than none. prefernot, the reason we're putting him in now is because he runs riot and is insatiable when it comes to wanting to do new things and since he's not shy at all, we thought we'd give it a try. if you're not ready, just wait, i think most people do if they can...they're only our babies for a short while

better go and help dh before he gets TIIIRRRED...

Dp goes in phases, helpful bloke, caveman c*nt.
This is one of those caveman moments thats been going on for a few weeks now. Even the kids have noticed if I say Can you please, he who was sitting doing f-all suddendly has something important to do
Have been to both the neighbours asking for some weed...desperate day here. Will hit the vodka instead later.
Glad it went well Mink! Thats gonna be an awfully long day for him on Tuesday!
Must say i didnt disperse of Tasha till she was 3.5 as she didnt like socialising, she still doesnt but I knew she would have to at school so I did send her 2 days a week 9.30-1. Then 3 days and then 4 just before she started school.
Tanya started when she was 2.5 and she enjoys the social side of it most, little friends there to play with and chat too. Tasha prefered the maths books and the learning bit.
Having hot pmt flush now...take me away from this HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor cc, go and pour a big drink!! there's nothing better than getting slaughtered mid-week

btw am drinking a cup of mulled wine - yes i know it's no way near christmas but if George Bush can put up a christmas tree now then i can certainly have an xmas tipple...

HI all,

Thanks again cc, I'll get that counter now then.

I haven't had a single other puff today but to be honest a lot of that has been because I'm feeling so damned lousy. I gave up smoking about 10 years ago and I don't remember feeling like this physically. I'm kind of jittery but energyless at the same time and terrible palpitations. Surely if everyone felt like this, giving up would be easy as you feel too dire to want to smoke?!

Yes, I think we've decided to just do the half day thing with dd at nursery. She's not madly sociable except with adults, whose company she can't get enough of ... Maybe I should book her into an old folk's home rather than a nursery ...

My dp's totally blind when it comes to household stuff. He's a head-in-a-book type and sees nothing. I usually appeal to his brain to get him to clean up a bit, like I'll tell him about just how many germs lurk on the toilet flush etc. knowing it will eat away at his mind until he cleans it. Fortunately he's got a conscience ...

cc you are brilliant for resisting that craving!! Pmt is a bastard hon. But it'll pass. Be good to yourself - bugger the housework, pour yourself a big bath & soak in lovely scented water while drinking vodka BY ORDER OF THE OLD LADY UP IN SCOTLAND.

Yeah, I sympathise totally re lack of housework 'involvement' (I refuse to say 'help', because this implies he is 'helping' me - ie, it's all my responsibility, and I should crumple and kiss the feet of the almighty one who deigns to wash a coffee cup). dh did pretty much nowt for years. Nearly split us up, and has had me in tears of rage & frustration many times. Once I smashed my own head against our bedroom wall.

BUT!!! He slaps on a Niquitin patch, and still gets a bit jittery in the evenings - I guess the niccy levels must start to run low - and gets all hyperactive, does ALL the washing, makes the beds, makes his own dinner, washes up, AND goes got a spooky night walk with a torch (which is where he is now). I can thoroughly recommend a normally chore-shy man giving up fags!!!!!

These days cc, when it gets too much, I ignore it and think f-you - live in a crappy messy house if you like. Sometimes our unsorted washing pile is taller than me, honest. And I found maggots in our bin yesterday, yum.

mm am desp to cath P. in pink but haven't had the chance yet!! Wanna wallow in all its lovely A McCarthy-ness. dh is out sat night, am gonna get wine and snacks in and wallow in it then.

prefernot, you're doing great & just experiencing strong physical withdrawal symptoms which i think will fade in a week or so, am I right girls? The vagueness and lethargy are horrible, I think those feelings start to fade after a couple of weeks. Could you possibly get to bed earlier than usual, get plenty of kip, really look after yourself & accept that you're coming off a v powerful drug and your body's just adjusting.

gotta do tedious admin tonight, god I hate admin, will speak tomorrow folks xxxxx (and report whether dh returns from his night walk! He's prob meeting a woman who doesn't nag hom about maggots in the bin)

Well done Prefernot, it's one step in the right direction!

CC I sympathise! Could you go on strike? I have to say that although being a single mum is not easy, at least it means I don't have to clear up behind some man. It used to drive me mad when we were still together, especially on the rare occasions when I left him all day with dd to come back to a pigsty, and his excuse was "but I was looking after dd!" . What a pathetic excuse! I know that men can't multitask like us women but still...