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Original poster

Today I have accepted that I must end my love affair with white wine.................

525 replies

mummypoppins · 10/09/2007 08:59

I adore it............consume it in bucket fulls and like a gorgeous man it takes over my life and leaves me feeling shite most of the time. Im fat, pasty , dry skinned and constantly tired and now it is starting to affect my work and home life. Yes I function very well and my children are happy and healthy cared for a lot of the time by a nanny as I work 60 to 70 hour weeks but I dont like myself very much and I know I could do so much better without this obession in my life.

So no more wine ( red or white ) or beer etc. Its gin and slimline tonics from now on and only at the weekend. Goes well with the weight watchers plan too.

Anyone else want to join me in suuport ?

OP posts:
ladylush · 01/12/2007 23:33

well, yes that makes more sense.

Chardonnaylover · 02/12/2007 10:13

Well now I have read that article I just feel awful. I am so scared that |I have already done severe damage to myself but have no way of knowing.

ladylush · 02/12/2007 11:24

CL - if you are worried go and get a liver function test done (simple blood test) I would imagine you are probably fine - the damage is usually done over a long period. Maybe when you get a clean bill of health it might give you the resolve to cut down. How many units do you think you drink a week?

hellobellosback · 02/12/2007 11:26

Stop beating yourself up, CL! There's no point in being so unkind to yourself.

It would seem that there is no real way of knowing how alcohol will affect you, regardless of how it affects the rest of your family.

What we do know is that alcohol is a poison, albeit a useful one, and that it can be very addictive.

The past few months have been pretty scary for me, re: drinking. When they diagnosed breast cancer, they sent me off for all sorts of blood tests, scans, x-rays... some of which were for liver function and liver cancer.

I had the same again with the tummy thing. Neither of my recent diagnoses have any relationship to heavy drinking, but it brings home that we really are merely mortal, and that something will get us. We don't have much control over that.

I was very pleased with myself last night for only having one (me sized, AKA rather large) gin and tonic. Dh didn't have any more and although it would have been easy, I actually decided NOT to drink any more! I am so familiar with what you say, CL about drinking more and more and more.

Chardonnaylover · 02/12/2007 14:06

I reckon its around about 60 units a week if you take into account the fact that I would get through 4 bottles of wine in a week plus a couple of shorts a night.

Thanks for all your kind words. I think I'm too scared to go to the docs to get a liver function test. Last time I had one was when I was pregnant but obviously that came back fine as I wasnt drinking.

hellobellosback · 02/12/2007 14:26

I think you are feeling guilty, CL. Years ago, I had HIV tests because I thought I was a likely case to test positive. Because of the guilt, I ate and ate and ate, because ill people lose weight, so I thought.

Guilt does wretched things to us, and drives us to do things we don't really like doing. It may help to ask yourself if that next drink is worth the guilt.

If it is, at least you have made a decision. Sometimes, it is worth it!

Elasticwoman · 02/12/2007 14:49

Chardonnay, have you thought of being dry all week and only drinking alcohol at the weekend?

DettaJnr · 02/12/2007 16:04

CL I get like that too and find it very hard to calm down. I did yoga a few years ago and while doing the class I found that I had lots and lots of patience for the week that followed. I have since stopped doing it (instructer moved away) and am hoping to start up again. If nothing else, it gets you out of the house for a couple of hours.

Chardonnaylover · 02/12/2007 20:04

HI all - Elastic, yes I try every week to only drink at the weekends, but every week I fail, hence being on here!

Tonight though I am staying off it

hellobellosback · 02/12/2007 20:06

Well done! I'm not!

ladylush · 02/12/2007 20:38

CL - as hb says it's impossible to say whether 60 units per week is too much. I would say though that if your lft came back fine before then that is a good sign as even though you weren't drinking then, any long term damage sustained would've showed up I'd have thought. There are now many over the counter tests you can get - not sure if lft is one. It's your decision. I went for an HIV test before cos I wanted to know. It was scary as hell but so glad I did it (negative thankfully). I have a gay friend who has had unprotected sex hundreds of times and is petrified to go for a test. We are all different, not better or worse. Tonight I have no white wine in the house so I am having a glass of red but not really enjoying it (find red harder to get right).

Elasticwoman · 02/12/2007 20:39

Well done CL. Can't be easy.

Chardonnaylover · 03/12/2007 13:24

Just posted on the other thread - I did it, I managed a night off it. And I feel a bit better for it.

ladylush · 03/12/2007 13:30

CL - well done If you can, see if you can manage another night without it. I say that because from experience I found that it got much easier after 2 nights abstaining. It was a habit for me rather than an addiction.

DettaJnr · 03/12/2007 18:19

Well done CL. The first night is difficult but you can draw strength from it. As LL says try and second night and it can get easier. I suppose it depends why you drink.

No white wine in this house either so I had two glasses of red last night. I find it a much heavier drink and if I drink more than three glasses I end up with a hangover and palpitations. Just not worth it.

Good luck to everyone this week. This time of year is especially difficult with all the parties. I have three this week! I know that I won't be able to abstain so I will try not to go too mad (heard that one before.....)

sibble · 03/12/2007 18:39

hi all, I've avoided this thread for a few weeks as have had friends staying and as anticipated drank myself stupid (quite literally on one occasion, a whole bottle before dinner resulted in dh having to carry me to bed, a few staggers to the loo and the ultimate punishment had to get up at 5.30am to get the boys ready for school ) for a few weeks. This was despite my good intentions and having the boys to look after. The good thing from the experience was knowing that despite drinking more than I should I drink considerably less than old friends still do (I know this is weird psychology but feel that I must be healthier than them), the down side is that while I was sluggish, queezy and on one occasion completely wasted the next day, they were fine.

Decided when they went I would detox but sadly had the taste and kept going until teh weekend when became quite ill, decided had done myself serious damage so have not drunk for 2 nights (huge achievement for me) have since found out there's a tummy bug going around so do feel slighty better but am going to keep on the wagon for a while. Have even volunteered to be driver for 2 functions in vineyards never before heard of.

Am also contemplating getting lft's done but feel abit embarrased asking GP.

Anyway, will read missed threads to catch up when boys not around.

Elasticwoman · 03/12/2007 20:56

Sibble do your boys really have to get up at 5.30 am in order to be ready for school, or do you mean that they get up at that time anyway and some one has to supervise them?
If the former, wouldn't they be better off at a nearer school, or boarding?

sibble · 04/12/2007 00:47

the latter, ds1 has always been an early riser sadly, he's 7 so can look after himself until I get up but ds2 is 3 and always into all sorts of mischief so needs to be supervised. Thankfully he was going to day care that day, the day before and I would have had a full on 3 year old to look after all day as well.

Having said that I think I must be particularly slow in the mornings as anything less than 2 1/2 hours to get us ready and I'm late in a fluster

Chardonnaylover · 04/12/2007 10:02

Thanks everyone - I did manage a second night and I then slept for a solid 9 hours which is uheard of, I normally wake up in the middle of the night and then cant get back to sleep again. I cant quite believe I have done it especially as DH has had a drink both nights (only one though - where does he get the restraint!)

Sibble - its funny you mention that some of your friends still drink more than you because I saw some good friends recently from about 10 years ago, we all used to love a few drinks and now none of them have more than two glasses, they are so restrained and I felt like a complete lush around them, didnt stop me at the time though!

Challenge will be tonight and tomorrow as DH is away. I am one of those people that likes to drink on their own as no-one can judge me

hellobellosback · 04/12/2007 10:40

Well done! I shared a bottle of wine with dh last night, but almost didn't bother, I was feeling so wretched. The doc says the sodding steroids are probably having an effect on my mood. Apparently they pitch you up, then when you lower the dose, you crash, then you keep on crashing till I don't know.

I think I often drink more than I want to drink as a sort of hoarding thing. My dad does it, as though there isn't enough. He does it with food and I think it's a sort of control thing. Now he's retired, he is a nightmare in the kitchen. He cooks badly and my mum, not surprisingly is far too thin. He won't let her cook. He won't let me cook either. I try to avoid his food because I don't want any more tummy problems.

Anyway, he is the same with alcohol as he is with food.

If you are alone, CL, I don't know if it would help, but sometimes when I am on my own, it's really nice to treat myself. I cook something that I really enjoy and treat myself to something to drink, that maybe would normally be too expensive, and listen to music that I like.

It sometimes works to set yourself up for a hot date with yourself!

goingfriggincrazy · 04/12/2007 10:46

Well done CL..you are doing really well..

I'm struggling today.Tuesday's are shopping night and also my DH is away too.Children always seem to play up because he isn't here and I'm the soft one (I just give in for a quiet life!)and thus the booze comes i when they've gone to bed...

Is there anything decent on tv tomorrow night? (doesn't hold breath smiles)

DettaJnr · 04/12/2007 11:16

HBB - My DH was on steroids a number of years ago and he described the feeling that he felt like hitting someone all the time and was constantly hungry. These two things were completely out of character for him. He also gained two stone in weight. He was told not to drink while taking them and I think that was the worst for him. He can drink way beyond what you should and get up bright and breezy the next day, not headache, no hangover. In the last twenty years he has had about three hangovers - I kid you not.

CL - Well done. Just think how good you will feel with another alcohol free night. You can let your hair down at the weekend.

GFC - You sound like you associating drinking when your shopping comes. Maybe you could change that habit and order something else for yourself in the shopping that you could treat yourself with.

Welcome back Sibble. Well done for getting back on the wagon.

I started more antibiotics for yet another sinus infection and infected finger (splinter) yesterday so no alcohol for me this week even though I have three Christmas parties.

Chardonnaylover · 04/12/2007 11:19

not sure about the TV tomorrow night GFC, but I have promised myself I can watch the "I'm a celebrity - coming out~" tonight as DH hates it - I might watch it in bed as that will stop me from boozing - never had a drink in bed!

Hellobello - I use every excuse I can to treat myself when DH is away but you know what, a nice hot bath might also distract me from the bottle - the trouble is by the time I have got the kids in bed and then made my dinner it will be 9pm already!

sibble · 04/12/2007 18:23

Well my wagon was rather short lived, had half a bottle last night but am still pleased with myself as would normally have polished the bottle off.

Have started my chart again, a bit anal I know, but I find it helps me if I actually write the number of units down each day, to see them mount up over a week is very scary.

CL I am better if dh is not here, I eat with the boys. I find I don't drink after I've eaten for some reason maybe too full!!! I also live in the sticks and the thought of something happening to one of the boys and not being able to drive them anywhere is too scary. Sadly in a way he changed jobs recently and no longer travels. He can open a bottle, have a glass and put the cork back in...that's my problem, once it gets past the half way mark I tell myself there's no point cos there won't be enough tomorrow and I'd have to open another so I may as well finish it.

I have to say too that when I say my friends drank more than me they don't have children. I was polishing off a bottle every night and still functioning the next day, they were sometimes doing 2 or 3 and seemingly bright as a button the next day.

Chardonnaylover · 04/12/2007 20:05

have fallen off wagon tonight with DH being away.

Had a gin and tonic and now having a glass of wine. But do you know what I dont feel too bad, as I have done two nights and am convinced I will be able to do Wednesday and Thursday alcohol free too.

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