Today I have accepted that I must end my love affair with white wine.................

[mummypoppins]

I adore it............consume it in bucket fulls and like a gorgeous man it takes over my life and leaves me feeling shite most of the time. Im fat, pasty , dry skinned and constantly tired and now it is starting to affect my work and home life. Yes I function very well and my children are happy and healthy cared for a lot of the time by a nanny as I work 60 to 70 hour weeks but I dont like myself very much and I know I could do so much better without this obession in my life.

So no more wine ( red or white ) or beer etc. Its gin and slimline tonics from now on and only at the weekend. Goes well with the weight watchers plan too.

Anyone else want to join me in suuport ?

Well I well and truly screwed it up last night. I had a crappy day with the kids, shouted at them loads and then one of them was unwell which meant cleaning the carpet and by the time they were in bed I had had enough.

So what did I do? I drank 2 gins and two thirds of a bottle of white wine. And did it make me feel better? No.

I guess today is another day and I will have to try harder. I feel like a complete failure.

Hi CL, well done for not drinking the other third of the bottle - did you leave it or give to DH. I couldnt leave any in a bottle Im afraid!. Nothing for me last night as was at work, am out with kids tonight and working tomorrow so guess my opportunities are limited this week!. Had good day though. CL you not a failure just stressed out mate.

Second Monkeys comment..treat today as a fresh start CL.
Glad you had a good day Monkey!

CL, it's one step forward and two back sometimes. You can't be 'perfect' all the time. You didn't finish the bottle of wine which is a good thing.

If you're stressed out tonight and can't wait for that drink, tell yourself that you'll have it in half an hour and go do something else for yourself like paint your nails. Then when that time's up do something else and see if that will get you through. It works for me, sometimes.

Also, having a mantra can be good. Decide what it is that will work for you and just repeat it from time to time. So instead of your internal voice saying 'I need a drink, I'm stressed' change it to something positive. HTH

I have been doing that tonight Detta (need a drink Ill go on MN!!), I havent had massive urges really more twinges out of habit. Instead of trip to offy after swimming lessons (on the pretence DD deserved an ice cream for excellent jumping in)I decided to creat an at home ice cream extravaganza involving all the wafers biscuits and jellytots in the house. DC loved it!! Saved me money and liver cells,am well chuffed.

On another theme - has anyone read the Allan Carr bok 'how to control alcohol'. He called it that even though he recommends giving it up completely. He said no-one would have bought it if it was called hw to give up alcohol. Its an interesting read.

MB - really pleased that you sound more positive Glad things are going to get easier for you re. work and childcare etc.

CL - a tip for avoiding drinking is to eat something that doesn't go well with alcohol eg I don't like the taste of white wine after eating milk chocolate - you might be able to think of a different combo.

Detta - hello

Hi all, I drink too much, but have trouble stopping - even for one day. I stopped for 3 months at the beginning of the year as went onto anti depressants - but then I had just one drink and then I felt sick but I persevered now i'm drinking even more than i used to. Mine is cider - I had 5 cans last night, usually its about 3 a night. Tonight I am going to try not to have any. I wake up in the morning wishing I hadn't drunk the night before and then think about not drinking all day until the kids get home from school then I just take a look in the fridge and hear it calling to me LOL. I don't get drunk everyday - only when out with friends, at home its like drinking water...............fingers crossed this will be my first non drinkking day for a while.

good luck iwsl take it one day at a time and reward yourself with something nice but good for you when you do well.

Hi IWSL and thanks to everyone else for the tips. Sorry to say I have been lurking around as I have not managed to stay off it. Wednesday and Thursday nights I had a couple of vodkas (gin run out) and half a bottle of white each night. This morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I look so haggard for my age, pasty and swollen face. I just cant understand how I can want so much to control it but it ends up controlling me.

I haven't stayed off either-only managed 2 nights since sunday..so I have drank 3 bottles this week .

Hi GFC - I figured out I have had two bottles of wine and about 10 measures of spirit (I mean the measures you pour at home are sure to be doubles). I feel crappy about myself.

I've just found a post on a forum about my drinking......it's from 2003....feeling like shit is a understatement today

Don't beat yourselves up about it. You have to take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.

You can't just change habits just like that. It's just not possible. Give yourself a pat on the back for not have a bottle of wine every night and cut down slowly if that's what it takes.

My SIL used to have a big sign on her fridge saying Do I Want It - No I don't, Will I Have It - No I Won't. It worked for her.

The fact that you've come on here means that you are taking the first and most important steop towards changing things. You are in control and keep telling yourself that.

Good luck everyone and enjoy your weekends.

Ladylush, went to Fagans for Sunday lunch last week. No Bertie.

Hi Ladies, agree wit Detta regarding changing habits. I have been off the wine all week. Nothing since the bottle I had Monday night. Me and DH have had some good chats and he has finally realised the pressure he has put me under by not listening to what I want from life as well as what he wants and whats best for kids. Anyway, he came home with a diamond braclet for me last night which was a tad unexpected. He had written me a lovely letter about how much he loves me and we had a talk.

BUT am feeling the urge big time at the moment. Am tired today and have a bit of a cold so am grumpy. Kids grumpy too. Am making a chinese thingy for tea and am hoping too tired and ful for wine. Have good weekend everyone. We CAN change the habits of a lifetime - sometimes slowly...

am jealous over your diamonds monkey..lucky thing
Well done this week also,fab news!

I did it today..phoned AA and a lovely lady was out to my house within a few hours and I'm off out tonight for a meeting (3 lined up next week also).

I can't just cut back..been trying for the last 9 yrs-have to face up to it and deal with it properly

Good luck to you all.its really helped posting here,so thank you greatly.

It's so good to be out of hospital, and people have been celebrating all round, which has been making me feel really rather nice! Amazingly I seem to have a stop drinking button! It's usually pretty well hidden, but my goodness it feels good to have it there! I am still going to do the Down Your Drink thing, and I am going to try and keep tabs on what my alcohol intake is like.

It really is quite exciting to be able to drink and then stop, knowing that I will suffer immesurably if I don't.

Things are looking up,Monkeybutler. Well done. I hope this is the beginning of the good stuff.

It is such a real relief not to be gripped by the permagloom of clinical depression.

Agree with Detta - it's a day at a time thing. Detta - I wonder how many units Bertie has a week

MB - of the diamond bracelet Great news that you have been having some good talks. Well done for staying off the booze this week. The urge gets easier over time ime but are you still trying to stop completely?

GFC - well done for taking the bull by the horns

Very proud of everyone tonight, while I sit here with a glass of Sancerre in front of me! I was quite good this week and I feel that I have stopped the cycle of having a drink for any excuse I could think of (the November thing is well and truly out the window...causing great catholic guilt but I won't go there...)

GFC Hope the meetings go well. Let us know.

MB I second the envy, but you deserve it. That's something you can look at every time you feel the urge to drink when you know you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

LL I'm sure Bertie's intake is well below the average! I know he has a couple of pints on a Sunday when he's at our local. I don't suppose he can get incoherent like the rest of us, imagine trying to do his job with a hangover?!

HBB Depression can be an awful thing but fortunately doesn't carry the stigma it once did. It's a double edged sword, you drink because you feel depressed and alcohol makes you depressed. Glad you're feeling better.

Have a good w'end all. Slainte!

Slainte

Its heartening to read your posts, at least I'm not the only one. I never did manage to have a non-drinking day...........just keeping on doing my usual. I don't know what to do.

IWSL - 8 weeks ago I never thought I would be saying that I didn't have a drink on a friday night, yet last night I honestly didn't fancy one. Suppose I'm trying to say that it can get easier with perseverence. Obviously it is different if you have an addiction - mine was habitual drinking but I would still drink 4-5 nights a week and sometimes more.

I think if you haven't had a drink for a couple of days the physical craving becomes less. That's how it works for me anyway. In my last pregnancy I was diabetic and couldn't have lots of stuff and I just got used to no sweet stuff. It was hard but I knew that if I did I would feel awful and it was harmful to the baby. I try to use that will-power with the drinking and it works most of the time.

Hi ladies, think will try just to keep to weekends. I work a lot of evenings in the week and have loads to do with the kids which involves driving so I really cant drink in the week. Did drink on Friday night as predicted and felt really rough on Saturday but still had a great day seeing Santa with kids. Regretted the booze though as did a late shift at work and when I came home at 10pm I was totally knackered!. No urges today and next opportunity will be Thursday now so just got to 'get through' that one day, working Friday and then its the weekend!. Am I kidding myself here?

think you are doing really really well MB!

Sadly my urges are daily ones-unless I'm that hungover and felt like death(funny how you dont crave then!), so I felt the need for AA and looking back I've been in a drinking spiral for nearly 10 yrs, I WAS kidding myself that I could cut down.

keep up with the daily thing

Best wishes to all!

Thanks GFC and well done for your progress, it is an an enormously couragous thing you have done. I respect you so much. Remember a woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until shes in hot water. Good luck.