Today we got Steves brain tumour results back

[onlyjoking9329]

had a phone call from the hospital.
Steves tumour is grade 4.

OJ - I am off on holiday today so won't be keeping up with you (even though I haven't really posted here much) but will check back as soon as I get home. Take care

steve seems to wake up every hour or so, i am a light sleep so i wake up when he wakes up.
DS likes to be up for the day at 4am.
my pc has died so i am using DS laptop, til he notices!

christie thats a good idea, maybe a massage.
Steve not to good today, he has been in bed most of the day, spoke to the doctor who said to put steriods back up again.
am just waiting for some cover as i have to go to the shops and dont want to leave him alone.

Blimey girl you have had a crap week.
Make sure to find some time for you to recharage. i know its not the same but i was full time carer for my mum and it is hard work. Pace yourself. rope family in to help if you can.

I'm sorry to hear your news, OnlyJoking. Thinking of you.

Thinking of you to OJ.
Big Hugs ((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))

today has been better. it is a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

Glad today's been a bit better.

Hope you both have a good night.

i think uping the steriods helped but the doc said he wanted him off them before radiotherapy & chemo starts, not sure why thou. he was started on them 2 weeks ago.i cant believe his op was two week ago today

Oj glad the steroids have helped, not sure why consultant wanted him off them maybe worth asking as they were prepared to give my mum max dose and start treatment if she was well enough.
Woondering if they want them off them so they can use them after treatment to get through that.
Might be worth looking into the holistic therapy's though for sleeping. I know the hospice does day sessions for these for free for patients. Although am guessing Steve still not up for outside help yet? Would he mind if you looked into it?
When do you next see consultant ?
Hope he feels better then today. Hoepfully you got more sleep if he had better day yesterday.

thanks robinpud your card and article arrived this morning, will get a chance to read it later.

just to let people know my pc is no more, i am using DS laptop.
i had lots of emails from you lovely lot on my old pc but didn't get chance to respond to them before pc broke, i have now lost all email addreess and emails, please resend and i will try to respond. thou my email is playing up a bit.

steve has had a good day, heres hoping for a good night

No doubt cheered up by your new wealth!
Glad today was good.
Has Steve's mother been in touch - how does she seem to be taking the news?

steve told his mum sister and twin brother on saturday, his mum was very tearful.
his mum is having the kids to sleep over for 2 nights next week, so we can go away for one night and then a hospital trip on friday

This is a rollercoaster, today steve has been well, he has read a few of the cancerbackup booklets on chemo & radiotherapy. great i thought he is more ready to deal with things.
he told me just as he went off to bed that he thinks the treatment will make him feel bad and so will only buy him time to feel crap when he feels ok at the moment.
so he says he is not going to do the treatment

Oj he's said that soon after reading the leaflets?

Maybe he just needs time to digest what he's read.

He may change his mind - especially after speaking to consultants.

i am hoping a bit of time will help him to think things throu. this is the first time he has read anything about it so i am hoping it is just shock. we have appt next friday that he is know saying he isn't going to attend

Have you read the leaflets?

I think it might just be his anger talking, and shock,obv. Also, it's a bit like dipping into denial, isn't it?

I think it's a hugely positive thing that he had the courage to read the leaflets at all - he may seem to have gone back a step, but maybe he just needs to go back into his comfort zone before facing the possibilities of treatment.

Think of it as two steps forward, one step back. He wasn't going to tell his mum at all a few days ago was he?

i read lots of stuff on different types of brain tumours ages ago, have been reading about treatment this last week.
he goes from talking about his funeral to saying he will beat it, it will change all the time it is a massive thing to come to terms with, if you ever do.

Hi OJ so sorry to hear this ? probably no real consolation to you right now, but from what you say, it sounds like Steve has reached stage 4 of the grief process- all normal and natural.

The Kübler-Ross model states the 5 stages of grief as:

1. Denial : The initial stage: "It can't be happening." or "it isn't happening- I'm not ill."

2. Anger : "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")

3. Bargaining : "Just let me live to see my son graduate."

4. Depression : "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"

5. Acceptance : "It's going to be OK."

I recon he?s just hit number 4.

He will accept and come to terms with things eventually ? but he has to do this his own way. Tough for you and those who love him, but that?s the way it is.

The human body (and mind) has a very poweful preservation mechagnism, it will do ANYTHING to survive. He will do the treatment, even if it only mean a short time more?.he just has to get to stage 5. So very for you, Steve and your DC's.

He hasn't done 2 or 3 yet, i am sure he will at some point.

It's not always the case to move through these models in order, iyswim. Also, there is often moving about of stages. I think the general hope is to end up at 5.