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Original poster

Today we got Steves brain tumour results back

756 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 10/08/2007 14:52

had a phone call from the hospital.
Steves tumour is grade 4.

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Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 16/08/2007 23:46

He gets on well with his mum but she is a bit of a cold fish doesn't do emotions really. she was hear on friday when the hospital rang to say it was grade four, she left shortly afterwards and said, well i'll leave you to it we are off on a cruise on sunday

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wrinklytum · 16/08/2007 23:51

She probably is devastated and doesn't know how to handle it.That must have hurt,though.The first time I ever had to tell someone their relative was really ill they burst out laughing as an emotional reaction which was their way of coping.I would give her a bit of time and him a bit of time and hopefully they can be honest with each other.xxx

hunkermunker · 16/08/2007 23:52

Just unbearable to think about - and very hard for anybody but Steve to decide about too, because only he will know the full range of their relationship, and he's been confronted by something he never thought he would be either. SO easy for others to say how they think they'd react, but situations like this are impossible to predict, reaction-wise.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 16/08/2007 23:56

i am sure a lot of things will take time to accept, bit tough when you don't know how much time you have thou

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Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 16/08/2007 23:57

steves mum came back from holiday today so she is coming over on saturday, we won't be able to say much cos the kids will be around.

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wrinklytum · 16/08/2007 23:58

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

TotalChaos · 17/08/2007 00:04

hope that steve and his mum get a few moments to have a proper talk on Saturday.

UmSami · 17/08/2007 01:10

Hi OJ, just logged on to see how you are doing, been looking at your pics and you have a beautiful family. Steve has a lovely kind face and cheeky smile - which i'm sure that horrible woman in the cafe got to see, i'm glad you had a lovely lunch, and a giggle at her expense!

And OJ, I am sure that everyone on here wants you to KEEP POSTING, you have alot of virtual love coming your way, I just wish there was more I could do in reality.

As always you and your beautiful family are in my prayers. X

MaryBS · 17/08/2007 03:02

Aw OJ, I can't believe that woman in the cafe! What did she say? I hope she had the grace to apologise!

My prayers are with you and Steve and your lovely family. Just wish I could do more

KerryMumbledore · 17/08/2007 03:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosmerta · 17/08/2007 09:33

oj, I've just read what's happening to you and your family and I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

xx

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 17/08/2007 09:52

Thinking of you all today.

Hulababy · 17/08/2007 09:58

THinking of you all.

LilyLoo · 17/08/2007 10:06

OJ i know it is really hard but i think maybe you have to respect Steves wishes for the time being on how much he wants to tell his mum. This isn't your responsibility and if i were you i would leave them on their own for a short while on and take the kids out in the garden and then leave it up to him. I think when Steve comes to terms with things he will realise that he will need help for you and the kids and he may then come to terms with telling others the actual prognosis. I know this doesn't help much now and i wish there was something i could do to make it easier for you.
My mil works on a cancer ward and she said that denial and then anger are the first stages that people go through when they are diagnosed before they come to accept their prognosis. It took my mum a couple of weeks to accept things and tbh i think she accepted it better than the rest of us. Just give him the time he needs to come to terms with it, he will.
Much love at this terrible time and keep posting as much as you need to as i understand how it is easier than explaining something you don't understand yourself to friends.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 17/08/2007 10:39

Steve has so little control of his life at the moment so i do intend to let him decide how he handles stuff. he may change his mind

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CaptainDippy · 17/08/2007 10:50

Just popping in to let you know thoughts and prayers are with you all here. {{{{OJ}}}}

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 17/08/2007 11:28

Thanks for all your support, steve has a mate coming over soon to sit with him so i can go out with the kids for a while, i need to buy hom a new CD player as his is broken.

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CaptainDippy · 17/08/2007 11:39

Enjoy a little time out sweetie. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help?? xx

mummydoit · 17/08/2007 11:49

OJ, it's so difficult to know what to tell family, isn't it? My MIL doesn't know the extend of DH's cancer and is convinced he will make a full recovery. Funnily enough, I started a thread earlier this week about whether I should tell her the truth. In the end, I decided not to. If we're lucky, he might have another five years so why should she worry for that length of time? I will only tell her if and when DH deteriorates.

I hope you don't mind me telling you about our situation. If you'd rather not hear other cancer stories, please say and I'll keep quiet but it did help me when DH was diagnosed to talk to other people who'd been through or were going through the same thing.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 17/08/2007 18:18

it is very useful for me to hear other peoples stories, could you give me a link to the thread about if to tell MIL or not, it will be useful reading.
Steves cousin rang today to invite us all down to london for her wedding mid october, steve said we will see if we can make it. he is starting treatment in sept for 6 weeks so i am not sure he will be up to it really.

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Furball · 17/08/2007 19:37

I think This is the thread

OJ and mummydoit I have no idea what to say to such shocking and unbearable news other than I'm so sorry

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 17/08/2007 20:06

Thanks for the link furball.
i am still very much in shock, someone mentioned christmas today and that set me off crying, i turned on the radio and coldplays fix you came on and i had to stop the car. how can this happen?

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Ellbell · 17/08/2007 20:21

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you, oj. I wish I could come up with some wise words that might help somehow, but I can't find anything to say that isn't trite, and actually I think that maybe there is nothing to say... In the absence of anything better, therefore, I am sending you love and strength and [not sure if you are a hug-avoider... if so, look away now] hugs. I'll be away for the next couple of weeks, but you'll be in my thoughts.

tigermoth · 17/08/2007 20:39

oj, steve sounds like such a lovely man. The way you describe him has really got to me. I am so sorry you are facing this.

I wish I could do something.

mummydoit · 17/08/2007 21:25

Furball, thanks for posting the link.

OJ - it gets better. It really does. You're still in shock and it takes a while to get over that but, hard as this will be for you to believe, you get used to it. Most of the time, we just talk and think as we did before diagnosis. Of course, it comes and goes. There are days when you get angry and think 'why us?' but the intense, raw agony you're going through now does fade a little. It becomes a roller-coaster ride. You get good days when everything seems normal, then you get a set-back and you feel like the world is ending. Oh heck. Too much red wine here! I'm not doing a very good job of being reassuring here so I'd better give up. I just feel for you so much and want to help in any way I can.