I cannot believe I am asking this but I feel I have to.
I am not the poo troll, honestly. It's just that after typing these words I really want to bleach the thoughts out of my mind and don't want it associated with my normal handle.
So I was discussing the idea of bidet hoses with DH - apparently the reason the UK gets through way more loo paper than other countries is because bidets aren't that popular. DH expressed extreme distaste for the idea saying that he "wouldn't want to stick a hose up there"
(boak) Obviously not. No one would except weird fetishists.
But on further clarification it turns out that when DH is using a good half a loo roll to clean himself up he is actually wiping around as far inside as he can reach - and he would not believe my assertions that as far as I am aware, most people content themselves with just wiping the external area around the anus. Nor did he think I was reasonable to suggest that wiping the internal piping (where it's the "mucous membrane" of the colon rather than skin) might be risking doing himself some sort of injury.
So now he thinks I am unhygienic and disgusting for being OK with my colon, on the inside of my body, having remains of fecal matter on the passageway walls after a bowel movement. Meanwhile I am shuddering at the thought of where those fingers have been. (yes I know he'll have washed his hands. But I still feel nauseous)
Which of us has fundamentally misunderstood the boundaries of reasonable personal hygiene?