Cancer Support Thread #71 - here to help if you’re dealing with cancer in any shape or form, come in and say hello.

[Brassica]

Hi again everyone and welcome to the 71st new thread for cancer support.

All those who are currently being treated, have been treated in the past, have worries and concerns and/or are having tests are very welcome to pull up a chair and chat, vent, rant, pour hearts out, share milestones and anything else! We are a very friendly and all-too experienced bunch on here and there are no questions too small or silly to ask.

Our previous thread is here .

Anyone with any type of cancer (female or male) is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Please can I invite current members to reintroduce yourselves below for latest situations and stories so far.

Diary you are allowed to post whatever you feel whenever you need to. I am so sorry that you are feeling scared. Do you have an appointment coming up soon where you can discuss treatment options? As for google, I am sure we have all done that. Sometimes it provides helpful information and sometimes it just scares the bejeebers out of us. I hope you can get some answers soon

WTF. One of my pet hates is waiting for bloods. Thankfully my lovely GP's practice has arranged for me to get mine done by the practice nurse at the surgery instead of queuing at the hospital. They only do that usually for the aged and infirm. I qualify on the aged but they must think I qualify on the infirm bit too at the moment

I meant to say that I spent a lot of time looking at websites for wigs and before I started chemo I had an appointment at a local wig specialist. They were so helpful but none of the wigs they tried on me looked at all like me so I had decided that if it came to it I was going to go for something completely different.

In Sainsbury's last week I was at the check out in front of a quite elderly lady. She was wearing a luxuriant shoulder length jet black curly wig. My first thought was that it didn't look very natural but my second thought was that she had chosen what she liked and good for her.

Surgery went well and the surgeon thinks she got a good margin so fingers crossed. I was all done by lunchtime but spent the afternoon in a rather pleasant drug induced haze. I'm still in hospital though due to risk with other health conditions, hopefully home today.

snow enjoy your wine tasting . I haven't been able to drink for a while due to drugs. I find a glass of red is very good for stress.

Brassica picturing you on your swing bench. DH bought me one for my birthday a couple of years ago and it's my favourite spot. Where do you get your wigs? In a shop or online? Do online ones fit ok? I plan to get some decent wigs.

Lost a long post twice due to hospital interruptions...
WTF Hope the stunning scenery and sunshine gives you a boost and that the bowels play nicely. When I was in the admissions waiting room there was possibly the most annoying woman ever. She had verbal diarrhoea combined with a loud cackle. I would have had to murder her if she had been in the next bed. Fortunately I'm in with a lovely 85 year old lady who was bouncing out of bed for hours before me after surgery.....

diary we all Google even though we know we shouldn't. Hearing bad news makes it worse. I didn't know TQ but she was obviously much loved.

Diary just lending you another hand to squeeze. Obviously you’re worried and I would be too. But surgery and rads are still waiting in the wings and they are the cavalry. When you say it hasn’t changed, you mean it is the same size as pre-chemo? Have you had all the chemo cycles now? Do you have an appointment date for discussing the scan results with your oncologist and surgical plans with the breast consultant? I’m sure those will help you to feel a bit more reassured and in good hands. As everyone says, don’t hold back on here if you want to vent or worry ‘out loud’, especially if you feel that’s difficult to do with your loved ones.

Pleased to hear the surgery was ok Skap. Did they take any lymph nodes as well? Hope you get home quickly.

Wigs I have bought a couple online (Simplywigs) and a couple in shops. It’s a bit of a gamble buying online obviously because it’s hard to tell exactly what the colour will be like and as mentioned they style the models to look as mumsy as possible, so it’s hard to tell whether it can be made to look a bit better on! But I’m happy with both those I bought online - they’re Jon Renau which is a good brand but not cheap. They do small, regular and large sizes to fit all heads, so you need a tape measure to work out what you need. Synthetic is better than real hair as I understand it - real hair needs to be washed and styled like real hair (durr) whereas synthetic is very forgiving of getting wet and springs back to shape, plus it’s way cheaper. For your first one it probably is a good idea to try on in a shop and get advice on what to look for, then if you want to add to your collection you can look online.

Hello lovely peoples,
Sorry for being so blooming lapse.
Hope you @Skap get home today and glad it went well.
Sending lots of gentle hugs to everyone else.

Had my mastectomy (no recon) on Monday. So far so good although it's kind of itchy beneath the surface. Didn't know I could be that sick and not pregnant - turns out my bp bottomed out so I had wicked vertigo type nausea and lots of drugs.
Saw consultant today who confirmed CT shows no further spread, waiting on other results next week.
Struggling a little with the new me in the mirror, you don't realise how much changes but will be ok. Still early days.

Thank you for reading and wishing you all the best possible weekend whatever you are doing and wherever you are xx

Diary sorry, that is worrying news for you, I hope when you see your consultant you can be reassured about further treatment options. As meercat said, you never need to apologise here for saying how you're feeling, emotionally or physically. Sending a hug.

Skap congratulations on getting past surgery, sounds like it went very well, hope you are home now.

SnowsinWater how was the wine tasting? From being exceptionally keen on a glass of wine or three pretty much every evening, I decided to try stopping drinking for a while in February this year, and was surprised to find it was quite easy. Since then I've had the odd glass, but almost none since surgery; red wine tastes nasty. Wonder if I will ever get back to enthusiastic boozing. Saves money, anyway.
I had chemo yesterday, halfway through now, yay! The ward was really busy - I think because Monday is a BH - and I had a long wait for the first time ever. Then they had to try three times to get the cannula in as my veins were uncooperative, so it was a very long day. OK though, had nice chats with other patients and visitors and no adverse reactions to drugs. Also dozed a lot!

Hope everyone here has a good weekend, with no aches and pains, dire rear, nausea or other nasties!

Oh Minx I didn't see your post, sorry! It must be hard seeing your body so changed. Are you planning to have reconstructive surgery in the future? I have a friend who is waiting for a date for hers. And post-op nausea and sickness is vile, do hope you are getting over that now. Are you still in hospital? Sending you very good wishes and

minx I hope you are home from hospital and able to rest over the weekend. General anaesthetic doesn't half knock you for six.

Bridget enthusiastic boozing is a delightful phrase which I will definitely steal. I use to like a drink or three but in the last three years I've had one health problem after another resulting in lots of daily drugs. I haven't given up altogether but strictly ration myself to one small glass of red which I find very relaxing. In the midst of all this I've even had to give that up because I'm on an antibiotic that you can't drink with. I'd love a night of enthusiastic boozing . I have substituted wine with cake and ice cream.

The junior doctor who took my cannula out yesterday was fixated by cannulas. Wanted to know who has put it in (anethstatist) he was awestruck at the type and location . Started telling cannula fitting war stories.

I cried all the way home. Poor DS who had collected me was a brick. All fine this morning but with zero stamina.
I was shocked on the ward with how many quite young looking women were there having breast surgery.

Hope everyone is doing ok today, skap take it as easy as you can, you too minx, the surgery really takes it out of you, I was complaining to my nurse that I was cross for still feeling sore and the leaking etc and she said that's because as women we feel we need to get up and get on with things, and it's not always the right thing to do, she said the healing underneath the sites needs a lot more time and if she had her way we'd all be in a nice quiet sunny resort being waited on hand and foot with all care provided for us and our family members, wouldn't that be lovely

Oh the leaking seems to have stopped at last, I'm seeing the first oncologist in a couple of days so I'll know more then.

Sorry for not naming everyone but as always you are in my thoughts.

Feel absolutely sideswiped today. I have had a fantastic week doing normal things like going to the hairdresser, going to the local shopping centre and this morning making jam from the plums in our garden.

Our daughter has just phoned to tell us that her husband of 18 years has now decided that he doesn't want to be married any more. He has been working away from home for months apparently too busy to get back at weekends and now it turns out that he has found himself someone else and is enjoying living the life of a much younger and responsibility free person. She didn't tell us before because she thought we were coping with enough.

I will be OK by tomorrow and will talk to her about how we can help and what she needs but for today it just feels like enough is enough.

Thank you for all the good wishes and positive thoughts lovelies. I have a little bit of a squishy seroma and some mega bruising (sorry if tmi) but otherwise doing ok mostly. I need to get on with my life, this nonsense and sitting around does my noddle! My dc and dh are lovely but if they hoover round stuff once more I might go crackers.

I'm not having reconstruction. I think I'm to lazy to deal with more surgery. And life atm is complicated, dm is stg 4 with a fairly short ticking clock, df is disabled and my kids just need me to be normal. So instead my plan is to heal and in 13months on my birthday get an awesome tattoo round my scar to make it mine. Oh and if anyone annoys me I'll just chuck my boob at them!

@Skap why oh why do they obsess with cannulas? Hospital humour I guess. Glad you are home and resting, gentle hugs. I was the youngest in for surgery both times, I do wonder if detection is earlier, people are more aware, it's less of a taboo subject.

@meercat23 that sucks. Sorry some people are just awful.

@ellenanora5 hope your oncology appt goes ok. Your nurse was quite right, we are inclined to get up and get on. I know as I pass the bathroom and glance at the plague of wet towels my head says 'it won't take a minute to just sort that out' before you know it, you're cleaning the sink and whatever else.

Gentle hugs all round on this sunny Sunday evening xxx

Oh meercat how awful. It's so hard when things go wrong for adult children. Worse that your DD felt the need to shield you.

Hi all, I hope you don’t mind me joining. Not that I particularly want to.

I had a lump in my breast 8 months ago, but because I was still bf dd I just thought it was a blocked duct or similar and didn’t think anything of it.

When I stopped bf and it didn’t go away I started worrying. Went to my dr who said it was probably a blocked duct, but put me on the 2 week pathway just to make sure due to the fact my grandma had ovarian cancer and my mum had BC.

I had 2 core biopsies and got the results on Thursday. It’s cancer. But mucinous breast cancer, which is very rare, but very treatable apparently. It is ER+ so I’ve been started on Tamoxifen to halt the growth and spread.

Mucinous BC is where the cancer cells pool in mucus (christ) and I had never heard of it. If the cancer is ‘pure’ (just mucinous) it cant spread. But if there are other cells interspersed within the tumour it’s an issue.

I have my lumpectomy on Wednesday. Day surgery so I am hoping to be home that day. The surgeons will hopefully take the whole tumour and a few lymph nodes and I’ll find out if it’s ‘ok’ cancer or just fucking terrifying.

I’m a 30 year old single mum with a 2 year old. I am freaking out, I’m trying not to but it’s not easy.

Mustard so sorry that you need to be here but you will find everyone here very supportive and lovely

How awful for you to have to cope with this with a little one to care for. I hope the lumpectomy goes well and even more so that the results afterwards work out well

Mustard
Sorry to hear your news.
I had a lumpectomy 10 days ago for Ductal Carcinoma in Situ as a day case and was home the same day. Initially I slept a lot as the GA worked it’s way out and I needed pain killers .
I was also on antibiotics which wiped me out .
Back last Tuesday for dressing change and tomorrow for further histology report.
Be very kind to yourself , don’t try to do too much and accept any and all help you can get .
I will be thinking about you on Wednesday.
I bought post surgery bras from Asda (George) two front fastening for day time and two pull on for night as my breast care nurse advised wearing soft bras for a month .
Bless you and good luck x

@MustardScreams sorry you are here. Lots of advice and support to be had.
Treat yourself gently, it's a whole lot to process in a very short time frame.
Gentle hugs and hope all goes well on Wednesday x

Mustard You poor love. it's a heck of a lot to take in. This is a great thread for advice and just to vent or have a virtual cry. People here at various stages of treatment with lots of experience. Everyone is different.
I had a lumpectomy and sentinal lymph node biopsy last Thursday so I'm 5 days past now. It's important not to lift, especially with your affected side. Do you have someone to help with your DD for a while?
I had to stay in overnight due to a lung condition but most people do go home within 24 hours. All hospitals vary but they told me that four hours after the operation if you were eating drinking, weeing and walking you could go home.
My breast isn't painful but my armpit is tight and sore where they took the lymph nodes. I was sent home with painkillers but have managed with just paracetamol.
You might not want to wear a bra afterwards, probably depends whether you need support. If you do then something very soft, no wires and bigger round the back than you usually wear. You can buy bra extenders for a couple of pounds from primark. (I wish I had done that as I've just gone braless and now my nipples are sore from rubbing).

Wow....lots of activity on the thread!
Hand hold for everyone dealing with sore bits and/or awaiting results.

meercat sorry to hear about family drama. I would imagine the news was pretty gob smacking. Hope you're ok.

On the topic of wigs, I have one which is half and half synthetic and human hair. It definitely moves more naturally than my synthetic one and it has what they call a lace front so it's a more natural effect at the scalp which means I can have my hair off my face a bit. I've only washed it once so far and it bounced back into shape when left to dry naturally. It wasn't cheap though, but worth it to me to feel ok when I feel like having hair. I tried quite a few on before I decided on it.

I had a lovely couple of days at the coast and now preparing myself mentally and practically for chemo 5 of 7 tomorrow. Should been today but delayed cos of BH. It'll be good to have another one done, but I'm dreading the hat of doom, assuming they'll let me do it as my hair is quite thin now. Also not looking forward to my innards going into melt down again, as they haven't really recovered properly from the last lot.

Just gotta keep on keeping on....

Hello all. Sorry I can't manage to respond to individual posts, I'm in hospital and feeling a bit rubbish. Had chemo Friday, developed bad abdominal pain on Sunday and came to A&E, it took several hours to get the pain under control. Came up to a ward at 3am yesterday. Bowel obstruction suggested but not confirmed, they did a CT scan but it's hard to interpret because of all the surgery. Hope it can be restored without another op. I'm nauseous but not vomiting, sips of water only (which tastes foul) and just had a bout of diarrhoea. Very fed up- but the consultant who came round yesterday morning thought I might get home tomorrow, I guess it depends if I can swallow any solids or if I'm still on IV meds and hydration.

There, that's a big moan! Commiserations to everyone else here who's having a hard time.

Oh bridget that sounds awful for you Hope you're sorted and on your way home very soon.

Oh Bloodybridget so sorry to hear your news.
I hope you are as comfy as you can be in the circumstances .
I took a zopiclone pill at 1am as I obviously was not going to sleep and now wait for appointment at 2pm hoping for a clear margin but these last few days by boob has been hot and lumpy and my mind in overdrive .
One more step along the road....

Hi, can I join you lovely ladies?
I'm 47 with one dd (4), and was called for a mammogram as part of a trial which extends the age range to younger women. Totally unexpectedly, I have a 20mm breast tumour, and the biopsy indicates it's grade 3, oestrogen receptor positive. No evidence of spread to the lymph nodes on the ultrasound. I having a WLE and sentinel node biopsy in the next 4 to 6 weeks (waiting for a date). After surgery they will decide about chemo, and I will have radiotherapy and then tamoxifen.
I'm anxious about recovery after surgery. My dd is a mummy's girl and likely to be very clingy. And in the worst bit of timing ever, I'm scheduled to start a new job in October and I'm working my notice in my old job. I'm worried about starting a new job slap bang in the middle of treatment. I need the money, so can't afford not to work. I should have reasonably decent sick pay and I've spoken with my new boss who seemed supportive.
I'm also anxious about telling my mother who is prone to over reacting, and has been very intrusive and unhelpful to relatives with cancer in the past... I have told my DH that he will have to manage her, but he isn't very successful at that in general to be honest...
Thanks for reading....it feels good to offload. In real life I'm trying to just carry on day by day as normal.
Big respect to all of you in the various stages of this. I've read the thread and all the support you give each other.

Bridget. That sounds horrible and just exactly what you didn't need. I hope they get it sorted out very quickly and that you get to go home asap. I know chemo works and is a lifesaver but it is also extremely nasty with its random side effects

Alpha. Your diagnosis sounds quite like mine. (My tumour was HER2 positive too so also on Herceptin but otherwise in terms of surgery etc very similar.

I had surgery in March followed by chemo and Radiotherapy. The surgery was probably the easiest bit. The worst bit of that was the dressings that got quite uncomfortable but otherwise no pain that couldn't be managed with pain killers.

Waiting for clarity on the treatment plan is one of the worst bits and once you get I found that you can sort of get your head straight and get on with it.

Thanks for kind messages, WTF and meercat. Trumpton, hope your appointment is reassuring. Alpha, sorry to see you here, it must be very hard having to worry about your little DD and a new job, as well as the illness. You will get lots of support here, and hopefully your DH will step up and keep your DM off your back.