Cancer Support Thread #71 - here to help if you’re dealing with cancer in any shape or form, come in and say hello.

[Brassica]

Hi again everyone and welcome to the 71st new thread for cancer support.

All those who are currently being treated, have been treated in the past, have worries and concerns and/or are having tests are very welcome to pull up a chair and chat, vent, rant, pour hearts out, share milestones and anything else! We are a very friendly and all-too experienced bunch on here and there are no questions too small or silly to ask.

Our previous thread is here .

Anyone with any type of cancer (female or male) is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Please can I invite current members to reintroduce yourselves below for latest situations and stories so far.

[Bloodybridget]

WTF I was glad to see your OH stayed around this weekend, you obviously weren't in the best place to have him gone. And yes it's hard on our partners, seeing us struggling, trying to take care of us, worried about the present and the future, and with their own stuff going on too, and yes we often do become self-centred and introspective, and don't really have the energy to focus on them or give them support. I think we have to just accept this to some extent, and hope they can get support elsewhere. Being able to talk honestly and acknowledge the fears and stresses does help for me and DP.

I'm having another bad night, I went to bed early, was up 11.30 - 1 (tea and toast) and now from 4 (muesli with prunes). We were trying to have a day out yesterday doing very low-key Open House visits but I got completely exhausted at the first place and could only sit on a bench at the second. Then felt quite weird and "wrong" in the evening. I'd had a lot more energy the two previous days so I was disappointed and slightly worried. I need to adjust to the realities of later chemo impact!

Hope everyone else is having a peaceful night, or in Snow's case, enjoying a good day.

[Brassica]

Sorry to hear of your disturbed night Bridget, it’s a bit depressing being up alone sometimes and especially if you really feel you need the rest. I recognise your description of feeling “wrong” completely, it’s hard to articulate isn’t it but I feel like my head and body aren’t properly connected and I can’t settle. Same for you?

Which open house things did you go to? It’s good you were able to do anything at all so don’t be discouraged even if it felt a bit underwhelming sitting on a bench.

I did some baking yesterday for the street party that's on today and unfortunately completely wiped myself out for attendance at the event itself. And the flapjack I made turned out crumbly to the point of collapse so probably not worth the effort! I haven’t dared cut the millionaire’s shortbread yet

I’m also missing a friend’s birthday do but feeling a bit nose out of joint there because I sent a message explaining that I am wiped out from chemo and had no acknowledgement from anyone. This group of friends have felt a bit shit generally at ‘taking an interest’ or paying attention the whole way through. Am I being a prima donna expecting someone to say ‘sorry to hear that, feel better soon’? Meh.

Skap I have a port in my chest like KBG. It took me a couple of weeks to get used to it (read: not be revolted by having the foreign body under my skin) but I suspect it has saved a lot of vein trouble. The picc line is more high maintenance as it is exposed to the outside, from what I understand. With a port you can just get on with life but it may be that they don’t offer as standard.

[meercat23]

Brassica. Sorry you are feeling wiped out. It is weird how one minute you can feel like having a go at things and then get completely wiped out by something you would normally take in your stride. I don't think you are being a prima donna for expecting your friends to at the very least register your message. I get it that some people don't know quite what to say but it isn't really hard to say that you are sorry to hear that and hope you feel better soon.

There is someone like that in one of the companies I do free lance work for. I explained why I couldn't do all that she wanted me to do and what I would be able to do. I don't know if she was embarrassed or just totally disinterested but absolutely no acknowledgement of what I had told her at all. Not so bad as your experience as after all she is a work contact and not a friend but it has certainly affected how much I am prepared to put myself out for her.

I hope everyone is having a pleasant and restful weekend. Busy busy week coming up for me so I am taking some down time while I can.

[Bloodybridget]

Brassica , hard to describe the "wrong" feeling, I guess it was a sort of disconnected sensation as you mention. Like I wouldn't be able to remember anything or think of anything. I'm ok today despite crap night. We have a modest street party going on today too, I just came home for a rest. Lots of nice baking, but not from me - one neighbour kept bringing out plates of the most delicious warm pakoras, which was good because I'm not enjoying sweet things atm. Shame about your flapjacks, but crumbly can still be tasty.

Your friends were thoughtless not to acknowledge your message.

The Open Houses we did were in Enfield, Myddelton Hall and Forty Hall, both great historic houses in huge grounds. Must go back to the latter!

[Skap]

Brassica and Bloodybridget, I'm sorry you are both feeling rubbish. I have to ask, what's with the street parties? Is there some kind of Royal event I have missed? .
No street party here but I have made a cake. It's rare I do that now. Before DC and when DC were little I was full on baking and cooking from scratch. After 40 years of cooking I can't be bothered, now it's bought cakes and ready meals. Tonight though It will be home made cake and tea while watching Bake Off extra slice with DS 2.

DH and I took a picnic to an English Heritage site yesterday and ate among the ruins of a 12th century monastery.


Am I being a prima donna expecting someone to say ‘sorry to hear that, feel better soon’? Meh
Absolutely not. Shame on your friend Brassica.

[Bloodybridget]

Skap in London it was Car Free Day, so quite a lot of road closures in central London and the City, and individual boroughs could choose to close roads and hold events; then residential streets could decide to close them for a period to have a party or a Play Street; my road did the latter.

Afterwards DP and I set off to have an early supper with my brother and SIL in south London, we'd decided to drive for once because my stamina is so low and I'm always knackered in the evening. All good till we approach Tower Bridge and discover it and London Bridge both closed. I'll just say, it was a terrible journey!

[Brassica]

Ouch about that journey Bridget, we had similar travails a couple of months ago with the Prudential bike ride that closes down most of SW London. Hope you got a decent catch up with your DB anyhow.

Shall we all decamp now to thread 72 - it’s well underway! See you there.

PS thanks for affirmation that I’m not a diva