Cancer Support Thread #71 - here to help if you’re dealing with cancer in any shape or form, come in and say hello.

[Brassica]

Hi again everyone and welcome to the 71st new thread for cancer support.

All those who are currently being treated, have been treated in the past, have worries and concerns and/or are having tests are very welcome to pull up a chair and chat, vent, rant, pour hearts out, share milestones and anything else! We are a very friendly and all-too experienced bunch on here and there are no questions too small or silly to ask.

Our previous thread is here .

Anyone with any type of cancer (female or male) is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Please can I invite current members to reintroduce yourselves below for latest situations and stories so far.

[Brassica]

May the Imodium do its stuff WTF. You’re right, hard to tell if chemo will happen based on how you feel so I will try and keep an open mind. Try! If it happens, it’s the penultimate one tomorrow. Bloods only get taken on the day for me so it’ll all depend on how things are in the morning.

Meercat I am sorry your counting was off in that case, finding out there is more track ahead than you’d told yourself is disappointing as we all well know.

Have a restful night all.

[Bloodybridget]

I can't sleep! Same as last night. Is it delayed side effects of the post chemo steroids? Hope everyone else in the UK is asleep!

[SnowsInWater]

I'm awake Bridget - well I would be as it is lunchtime here I have been trying to summons the energy to go get a pen and paper so I can go back and see who is doing what and reply individually but having done Pilates after radiotherapy this morning I can barely move from my chair. I'm sitting outside as fresh air makes me feel better but the forecast 21 degrees is not looking likely so the wind might drive me in!

I was thinking of tq yesterday, I am glad the sun shone for her.

Is it my perception of time but some of you seem to have been doing Chemo forever?! Taste and appetite do come back and toilet trips eventually settle down but it is miserable while it is happening. Sorry to hear of delays in waiting for results too, that really is the pits. Ahjaysus - you must be a Dub?

It is our 28th wedding anniversary tomorrow and not a treatment day so I am hoping for sunshine and lunch by the water with DH. Happy Friday to everyone when you wake up. Xx

[WTF99]

Hi Bridget ....hope you're gently snoring now Rubbish nights sleep for me too. Blimmin steroids....my last day of them today for this cycle.

And snows lovely to see you. Is it evening now where are? I'm impressed that you're combining the radiotherapy with Pilates. I'm keen to start feeling fit again but not sure when or how. I've got a date in my diary for Slimming World return to shift the 4 kg I've packed on since starting chemo at the beginning of June....not that long ago really I guess but seems an age.
Hope you have a nice time for your anniversary tomorrow.

Day 5 for me post chemo and wondering what it will hold. Day 7 to 10 was my low point last time. I have the prospect of a lot of time on my own this weekend too, which isn't great timing. My lovely fella is away for a much deserved activity weekend with his mates and im gonna miss him loads. I hope he has a good time thiough as he definitely deserves a break from me and all this cancer nonsense. Ive been invited to a BBQ tomorrow afternoon which would have been lovely but it would be madness to go just as I'm about to be at my lowest immunity. Im sick of having to say no to things now!

How you feeling this morning brassica? Fingers crossed for no delays.

Off to find some breakfast now so I can take (yet another) steroid....

[Bloodybridget]

Morning all! I did get to sleep around 3.30, thank you Snows. Happy anniversary to you and your DH for tomorrow (did I get that right?) - hope you have a lovely celebration.

WTF hope you do get through the next few days without too much beastliness. Shame to have to miss the BBQ but you're very sensible not to take the risk. Of course you will miss your lovely bloke, it's so important for our partners to have restorative breaks, isn't it? But when you can't get out independently yourself, it's hard. I've only left the house once since last Friday - but big plans today, we're going to the supermarket, then to our rowing club to get together with the other rec rowers when they're out of the water. Really hoping to get back there in the new year.

Sorry I am rambling on!

Brassica hope all goes well today.

Meercat so sorry your counting was off!

Waving to everyone - another lovely day here.

[WTF99]

I've just had to pluck some chin hair. Chemo is cruel and really takes the piss sometimes, given tbe state of my scalp!

[meercat23]

Happy Anniversary Snows.

WTF. Shame about the BBQ but only common sense in the circumstances. Have you got any pampering treats lined up for yourself while your OH is away? Sprouting chin hair ay this time is really unfair. How can that be? I have noticed that hair is all the places I could quite easily manage without is growing merrily but hair on my head is still slow to get going.

Wishing you all a pleasant weekend, especially to those waiting for results, answers or treatment plans. I am planning a quiet and peaceful weekend ahead of a stupidly busy two weeks.

[Trumpton]

Back to clinic this morning and had two consultants tutting over my armpit . They were still not happy with it and said it would not heal with the amount of fluid I was losing ( yes I measured it as I emptied the bag !)
So....or rather sew ... now stitched with a gentle dressing on and back for aspiration on Monday .
3 appointments next week , so that’s my week planned .
Results not back yet although they did check which was kind .
The most beautiful day here and the sunset last night was truly spectacular .
DH is doing MIL’s housework while I sit in the sun .

[Skap]

Trumpton is it more comfortable now you've had it re-stitched and dressed?

Bridget hoping you sleep through tonight. What do you do when awake in the small hours? I often go in the spare room so I can fidget or read without disturbing DH. If there is nothing to do the next day it's not so bad but if I know I have to be up early it's much worse.

WTF will anyone pop in to see you over the weekend home alone?
I hope you escape the horrible time on day 7.

snows happy anniversary. Have a lovely day.
Waves to meercat

Beautiful day here. Just had a nap on the swing bench in the sun.

I have my first oncology appointment on Tuesday and have been fretting about "what ifs". Decided to ring the BCN this morning and she was actually there (usually it's an answerphone) and talked me through a few worries.

[Trumpton]

@Skap
I don’t know at the moment as I had quite a lot of local anaesthetic and it’s still numb .
I do think of everyone but seem to lack the ability to hold any information so I can respond and ask after each of you but I would like to say that I appreciate every mention as it makes me feel cared for .

Hope you all have reasonable weekends . X

[Brassica]

Despite everything I got my fifteenth round of poison today so I am bizarrely grateful for that! I had 3 work colleagues come and visit me which, though lovely of them, I could have done without as I was so weary but I got some rest once they had gone. I had a bit of a cry when the nurse did my blood test - firstly because the saline flush hurt as if it wasn’t going in the right place and secondly I think I have run out of emotional stamina here and it’s almost harder to keep going now I know I don’t have much more to put up with. Does that make sense?

Snows after last week’s dip it is nice to hear you sounding calm and happy and looking forward to your anniversary. Hope you have a lovely day and congrats on the achievement!

WTF your chin hair made me laugh (sorry), I do like a bit of indignant humour! It is a shame to miss out on the barbecue and to contend with the worst days over a weekend. Is there anyone you can invite round for a catch up while your chap is away? Failing that, have you found anything good to binge on Netflix etc? We’ll all be here anyway I’m sure to chew the fat, and I’m unlikely to be doing much myself.

It does seem that armpit healing is troublesome Trumpton given your Skap’s and Ellen’s experiences. I hope the attentions of two consultants has done something useful. Don’t worry about name checking, honestly, the chemo brain is real and there are a lot of moving parts on here! I usually have to have two devices going so I can type my post on one and refer back to the recent comments on the other.

Have you been told yet what the chemo protocol will be in outline Skap or is that literally the point of Tuesday’s appointment?

Meercat how are your nails doing? Are the busy couple of weeks coming up busy in a good way?

Bridget I didn’t know you were a rower. I bet you are eager to get back to it. I play a little tennis and am impatient but equally find it hard to imagine being able to run around and hit a ball at present. Hopefully that will return at some point?! I also hope you get a better night’s kip tonight.

We’re nearing the end of this thread (about 40 posts to go I think) so would anyone like to take on the job of starting the next in due course?

I am waiting for Born to come and make us jealous about her holiday too - how are you Born? Xx

[meercat23]

Brassica congratulations on getting poisoned today! Emotional stamina gets severely strained through all of this and often it is not the great big things that tip us over the edge.

Thanks for asking about my nails. They are growing out slowly. There is only one now that has a significant detached section and that is much less loose than it was. I am keeping them short and cover them when working so I am not so worried that I will catch them on something.

My busy two weeks are a mix of busy working days, a couple of days of social events with family and friends and then we are off to Portugal for four days with friends. Each of those things is fine but altogether it looks a bit daunting. I am sure I will enjoy it all but I do run out of steam much more quickly at the moment so I will have to pace myself if I can.

[WTF99]

brassica so pleased you got your poisoning and totally get it about the emotional stamina.....keeping it together is draining. And yes.....flippin chin hair....what's that all about?!

I'm feeling pretty down right now...this is a low point I think and I know it will pass but just now I could properly cry. Just being pathetic really as I've had a nice afternoon with my friend today, and another friend popping in tomorrow.....I might risk going to a farm shop cafe with her which is outside so hopefully minimal bug risk. She's off to the BBQ after that.
Feels a like a long night ahead of me tonight though and a repeat tomorrow. Meanwhile the rest of the world is having a life in this lovely late summer sunshine.....
Time for big girl pants I think....

[meercat23]

WTF you are not pathetic at all and you are totally allowed to feel down at times. It is a lot to cope with and missing out on events, trips etc is very much part of that.

I hope the evening is relaxing and restoring and that you have a great time tomorrow with your friend.

[WTF99]

Thanks meercat ....that's what I'll aim for tonight

[Bloodybridget]

Ah good to hear from lots of regulars!
Trumpton glad to hear you are stitched with a proper dressing, hope that will stop the fluid leaking until you can heal properly. You'll get results on Wednesday, right? Honestly no-one minds if you don't namecheck! No point having the thread if it turns into a big pressure!
Skap that's so good you were able to talk to the BCN. Not long till Tuesday, you will be glad to have the first oncologist appointment behind you. Hope he or she is very nice.
WTF have a big virtual hug, it is totally unfair to have hair on your chinny chin chin and for your OH not to be there! Hope your friend's visit tomorrow is cheering.
Brassica congrats on getting zapped but sorry you are feeling low, this is emerging as quite a thing, isn't it, as some of us get near the end of treatment. I guess the emotional toll increases just like the physical toll. Be very gentle with yourself .
meercat, glad to hear your nails are a bit stronger, hope you are generally doing OK. I hope the few days in Portugal are really lovely. Everyone I see who's been away somewhere, I get them to describe the trip in great detail, for a bit of vicarious enjoyment (damn them).
Also waving at @AEJS, did you have the colonoscopy, what did they say? Really hope nothing too alarming, holding out a hand if you need it.
Skap sometimes I just stay in bed, go online, read etc, but more often I get up for a while to do above, and very often have a cup of tea and a slice of toast, do a bit of the fiendishly difficult jigsaw that's on the go (although I can't see so well at night). Unlike some, please don't hate me, I've lost loads of weight over the past six months so am giving myself carte blanche to eat anything, any time!
Brassica I learnt to row about three years ago, am not much good at it but really enjoy it - and I like coxing too. Our local rowing club is a lovely, friendly place. Hope you do get back to tennis before too long.
I could start a new thread - just link to this one with a brief intro and ask people to introduce themselves again?

[Bloodybridget]

OK I've done it, new thread here
Just noticed missing apostrophe in the header aaargh!

[Skap]

WTF99 You are entitled to a moan and a cry. I think if you seldom cry it's actually good for you to let go sometimes.

Brassica how are you today? You sound very worn out by it all. I hope you can enjoy the sun a bit today. My oncology appointment is to discuss the whole chem plan. I was told initially it would be 6 lots of FEC-T plus Herceptin for a year. BCN yesterday said there might be different options. I half expected them to say I didn't need chemo because the tumour was so small but it's HER2+ so it seems I will still need it.

Bridget We have a good jigsaw collection, usually have one on the go in the dark of winter. About 7 years ago DS took up rowing, there is a club that rows on a pretty canal near us. I did have a few goes to show willing and while I loved the tranquillity of paddling along the river I have never had much strength or stamina. There was a lot of hoisting dirty great boats around and I gave up. I don't tend to put weight on, rather it drops off me if I'm unwell or stressed. Middle of the night tea and toast sounds comforting.
Well done on taking the baton. Will post on there soon.

[Brassica]

Hello everyone. Thanks for getting the new thread up and running Bridget! There seem to be the requisite number of apostrophes from what I can see. I’ll add my biog once this one’s done.

I got a good rest yesterday after chemo and feel a fair bit better today. I have also got lots of enthusiasm for food which became apparent when I was doing our online food order for the week and seem to have signed myself up to making soup, risotto and Spanish stew which sounds ambitious any week of the year, let alone now! I bet none of them happen.

FEC-T sounds like a hardcore regime Skap, if that’s the one you have then let’s hope you take it in your stride. I think it is quite common, that said, from what I’ve seen on the triple negative Facebook group I’m on. Are you going to ask about having a port or picc line fitted? I would suggest you at least ask as I think they do help a lot.

My DH has taken the children and visiting MIL out for the day so I can carry on resting. One guess for where I’m currently lounging in the sunshine! Quite possibly the last opportunity this year. It’s lovely at the moment, sunny and actually getting too hot for me now so I will have to find some shade.

Hope WTF is feeling ok and a bit more chipper than yesterday but if not, you know where we are.

Have a peaceful weekend all.

[Bloodybridget]

Yes thank goodness I can see the apostrophe now! V glad you are feeling better Brassica.
Skap I don't have much stamina either, I row short distances and we always have plenty of "hands on" for lifting boats!

[Skap]

Brassica I've read about the PICC and port in the blurb I was given.
I'm not sure how I would feel about anything in my arm. I can't sleep on the left side where I had the breast surgery and it would have to go in my right arm meaning I couldn't sleep on that side either? Who needs sleep anyway . I will ask when I see the oncology nurse.

[WTF99]

Hi all,
My fella decided against going away this weekend so will be seeing him lots as usual as it turns out. It was a friendly competitive activity thing he was due to go on but i think he just didnt want the stress of it and needed a quiet few days. I wish he could have gone and had a nice time....but selfishly I'm really pleased he's here.

He's been such a rock for me but I know that he's been worried, though he covers it well and doesn't say a lot about how he feels. I try to remember that he still has worries/stresses which are nothing to do with my diagnosis, and to give him attention and comfort for those things, but I do think that having cancer and going through treatment can make you very self focussed.....it almost has to because of the constant hoops to jump through and all the self monitoring of side effects etc...I hope we get through it in reasonable shape together.... I just feel as if we deserve some fun soon....but even making that happen can feel like a stress...y'know....organising a holiday or something.....will have to think about some low key treats...

I'm day 6 now and pleased to report that I'm feeling better than this time last cycle I think so being cautiously optimistic that maybe I've adjusted to the meds somewhat.

skap I'm on FEC-T......7 cycles of it, with rads and herceptin, though my lump was a bit bigger than yours and grade 3. I'll be interested to see what cocktail they come up with for you next week. I know I've moaned a lot about it, but i do want to reassure you that, if that's what you get, it is entirely doable and really I'm in pretty good shape despite all the complaining!

Hope everyone is having a nice afternoon and that all innards, sore bits or leaky bits are behaving themselves

[meercat23]

Wtf. Glad this cycle doesn't seem to be leaving you with such bad after effects.

I have been enjoying normal things today. Visited a local farm shop which has a distillery that does artisan gin. I would like to say that I am much too abstemious and sensible to have paid a fortune for some but it would not be true. Then went into our local town centre to pick up some euros and pay in a couple of cheques . Totally boring but very normal. It felt great

[KnickerBockerGlooooory]

@Skap I have a port in my chest. I was cacking myself about it going in but actually I'm so glad I have it, and the procedure itself was no real bother in the end. A port sits under the skin so after a couple of weeks healing you can almost ignore it being there... definitely worth thinking about as it saves them digging around for a vein every time you go xx

[Skap]

KnickerBockerGlooooory thanks for that it's very reassuring.