New year, new thread - cancer support thread 68 - join us if you have cancer, or are waiting for cancer-related tests

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the new thread. Our previous one is here.

Anyone with any cancer is welcome, or anyone waiting for tests because they might have cancer. If you're new, just jump in wherever. Don't feel you need to catch up with previous posts. We talk a lot! Ask any questions you need to. Someone will hopefully have an answer. And feel free to post photos of cute pets too.

Whether you're new or not, it's helpful to post a little introduction on the new thread to save people trying to remember everyone's different diagnosis and treatment.

Leslie I , too, am delurking to commend you. I started watching this thread 7 years ago when I had a mastectomy for DCIS. I didn't post but none the less felt hugely supported ( and educated) by the tamoxigang community.
I have popped in ever since; as BIWI days with the slight air of a yoyeur I know what the trauma of diagnosis is like and am continually amazed by how all of the Lacies adapt and get on with things, helped by friendship and wise words here.
I have two images of you Leslie and am not sure which is correct. Are you lying in your hospital bed surrounded by flow charts and armed with a pointer or is your mind ordered with rows and rows off filing cabinets ? Either way you have made a difference to my life and I am really sorry that you ( and your parents) are having to go through this dreadful illness so prematurely. Stay comfortable Leslie, bw

Morning all, should I be wishing us all a Happy World Cancer Day?!

Does anyone have any experience of job applications during cancer treatment? Do I have to declare it?

Will catch up once the school run is over but have just realised I've three lot of visitors coming today and to say I can be less than arsed is an understatement.

Morning @KeepCalm I was wondering how many posts we'll see on social media for world cancer day! Not sure how I feel about it this year. I may have a clear out of books and shoes to donate to the local charity shop.
@KeepCalm don't go back home after the school run! Pop for a coffee and use the chemo brain excuse for "forgetting" about your visitors!

KeepCalm You should declare it only when you fill in the medical form. You will probably then get called for an occupational health appointment, and they'll decide whether you're fit to work and whether you need special consideration. Cancer is covered by the disability discrimination act, so they cannot not give you a job just because you've got cancer.

In my case, I was offered a job, then one week later I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't say anything at the interview because I didn't think I had cancer then, but even if you do know, you're better off not saying at that point, because otherwise it might influence their decision (legally it shouldn't, but...).

I then declared it on the medical form, and had to go for an occupational health interview, which was actually brilliant - he put in place phased return to work for after my sick note ran out, and in his report he also reminded the school of the disability discrimination act and that I HAD to be released for all hospital appointments.

So for me, I officially started a new job on January 3rd, but I haven't actually been in yet. I've been 'lucky' though (relative to other people on here), I had breast cancer which was caught early, so they just chopped it out, then radiotherapy which I finished last week, then tamoxifen for 5 years. I feel fine, so I'm going so start at my new job next Monday. My new employers have been very understanding.

LOL good plan @ranoutofquinoaandprosecco but one is travelling a fair distance and I've been putting her off since Oct

I popped a world cancer day post on my FB before anyone else could...... attack being the best form of defence and all that

Another quick question for my fellow BC Mastectomy crew. Are wired bras an absolute no from now on. I don't want to bin them all only to be told once it all settles it's okay with the rubber boob?!

@astuz that's fantastic am so pleased for you and thank you!

I'm swithering about a job application but not sure of the ethics behind it. I'm BC too having had chemo & surgery I'll be having radiotherapy then back onto oral chemo for the mets in my lungs. My main issue is I can't afford to be unemployed even if we sell the business (which I appreciate I now have to do ). If I've only got 5yrs left fine, but am aiming for 10yrs so have to think positive!

Morning - just need a kind word or two. Still waiting for results from my biopsies from the endoscope and colonoscopy. Worried sick. Our children know but I made the decision not to tell my parents who are both in their 80's.
My mum was hospitalised last week and my dad is obviously running round like a headless chicken now she's home. She's prone to exaggerating and can appear very ill and then be up making lasagne withing 10 minutes. I live 45 miles away so can't just pop in, I have to plan each visit.
I am not going to mention my diagnosis until I have a plan in place but I'm finding it so hard trying to be strong.
Sorry to everyone else but I'm just In Limbo and still worried sick x x

Here's a kind word Borntobe. The waiting is absolutely the worst part, once you know the results a plan will be put in place and that does make everything easier to handle. How much longer will you have to wait?

Borntobeamum - so sorry you’re still in the “waiting for results” hell. Do you have any idea when you’ll hear back?

It’s also really tough when other stuff is going on in life too. I’m sorry to hear about your mum. For now, can you prioritise looking after yourself? It may be easier said than done, but you really do need to be kind on yourself.

I am in a slightly similar position - my mum has dementia and is in a care home after a fall. I haven’t told her anything about my diagnosis or op. There’s lots of things that need sorting out but I’m leaving it to everyone else, which is very unlike me!

Tahiti delighted to hear you’re home! I’m hopefully going home tomorrow, but I’m a bit scared too.

iVampire congratulations on the run and the PB!

Lesley is it wrong of me to be pleased you still have the energy to get grumpy?

keepcalm good luck with the visitors!

Thank you TC and Toofar.
I've no idea when I'll get the results or who from. DH says call my GP who initially referred me but I'm scared to. DH is away til Thursday and I do t feel strong enough to chase it up.
My mum keeps having falls and my dad has to call on neighbours to help. She was hospitalised after he called an ambulance because she was hallucinating too. Turns out she had a water infection and chest infection.
My brother is my only sibling and is as much use as a cardboard fish slice.
I could cry 😥

Borntobe
This may be a bit harsh but it's meant kindly - you need a kick up the bum! I do understand how scary the whole thing is but honestly, you're making things so much worse for yourself. You could get reassurance so easily by ringing your doctor. And even if they don't know yet, the point is that YOU are taking control. So much of this crap is out of our control and from experience, I can tell you that every action WE take is a positive one.

Also, the fact that you're having to chase them is a positive thing in itself. Take control - make that call!

borntobeamum DH being away isn’t making life easier is it?! But do you think you might feel a bit better if you took back some control and called the GP?

I am being completely hypocritical because I’m lying in bed trying to find the courage to go for a shower! I’ve just told myself its time to “put my big girl pants on”, and if you could see the size of the pants I’m actually wearing you would know how funny this is

Sorry, TQ and I cross-posted

I hear what you're saying. Honestly I do.
But. And to me it's a big BUT, I do t feel able to call while DH is away.
Im Living in a new area with no friends here.
When DH gets back, I will see about calling. Promise x

@Borntobeamum that's understandable but sometimes ripping off the plaster is easier than the waiting.

On the other side if there not chasing you that's maybe a positive

Born I totally get it. I’m burying my head in the sand about some results on Friday in a big way. It is ALWAYS better to get it over with, but I can’t take my own advice on that at all!

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the gap in posts, I have had a hectic and exhausting week... 3 nights of children back for tea, birthday gin sampling, just 2 but friend stayed, birthday meal out with another birthday friend whose birthday is today, a sleepover child (my eldest said the next day that it wasn't really a sleepover, more of a stay over as they got so little sleep!) plus a kids party at the weekend, not one of mine!
When I would usually catch up on the posts, I have been sleeping instead! I now feel like I have a few favours in the bank if needed during radio... I've also been quite flat pre radiotherapy as getting nervous.

First session today and it was quite an anti climax as didn't feel a thing. In fact the worst thing about the whole appointment was that the temperature of the room was freezing! Very relieved now

Leslie Those are the worst kind of visitors. I think you are well within your rights to put them off if they try a repeat visit. Who on earth takes offence at a wheat bag?! I'm so glad you are comfortable. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it all better for you, you are often in my thoughts, as are your family. I hope you've made it into the kitchen you designed too.

purple glad they arrived ok. I have a 1000 piece wasgij if wanted that was quite hideous most of the way through it, but very satisfying for around the last 50 pieces! Sorry your pain has been so bad too, glad your nurse is on the case & it is improving...

Sorry your markers are going in the wrong direction TQ I hope the next lot of figures shows an about turn after being on this trial for a while. Fingers crossed for your news too on Friday namechange

borntobe another one here urging you to ring... You are already imagining the worst. It may put you out of your misery sooner (& the fact they are not calling you is a good sign)

Glad you are out of hospital tahiti fingers crossed you respond well & further rounds will not require such a long stay.

Apologies if I have missed anyone, most likely have as there were so many posts to read since I was last on! I hope everyone is as well as possible.

Echoing what everyone else is saying Borntobe, as tough as it is to pick up the phone you'll feel much better for doing it.

Thanks for the advice Flying, although I was hoping it would be a bit more than 3%, that seems a bit harsh for a 16 year old about to lose a parent

I love my wheat bags Leslie although it's a shame they don't stay hot for long enough. I'm thinking of getting a rechargeable hot water bottle to save me going downstairs to fill it up when it gets cold. I hope you've had no more annoying visitors today

I'm so pleased you're home Tahiti. There's nothing better than getting into your own bed

That does sound like an exhausting week Noodles! Although the gin tasting sounds fun, I can't drink anymore with the medication I'm on at the minute. Radiotherapy rooms always seem to be freezing when I've had it, having to be half naked didn't help either you won't feel anything from radio but there's a cream called MooGoo that might be worth getting in just incase your skin starts getting sore

@purpleunicorns I've had a look and he will get 5%. Special consideration. You need to contact the exams officer at his school/college. Hopefully someone on the pastoral team might have done this already.

https://www.jcq.org.uk/Download/exams-office/access-arrangements-and-special-consideration/regulations-and-guidance/a-guide-to-the-special-consideration-process-2018-2019



My turn for a wobble! I’ve been so focussed on trying to get over the operation but it’s just hit me how little I know - I still don’t know if the operation has removed all the cancer, and I still don’t know what immunotherapy I will have or for how long.

Sorry, just needed a little vent. Hope everyone else’s day has been ok. I know we’re all living with varying levels of uncertainty- I’m glad this thread is here x

Ahh toofar my lovely. It sucks when it all hits you doesn’t it? Cancer is all unknowns. Focus on your recovery. One step at a time and all that.

Thanks Flying I'll see what my oncologist says next Tuesday and then go from there. If my kidneys are behaving themselves and I can get on the trial then hopefully I won't need to worry him

Oh Toofar wobble away all you need too. It's shit not knowing and your mind thinks the worst no matter how hard you try not to think about it. Do you know how long you have to wait to get your results?

Just checking in. Nothing much to report here. Each day I'm sleeping more.

I'm glad we are all united in our love of wheat bags

ranout yay for Scrabble! You might have seen them, but you can get card game versions of some of the classic board games. We have the Monopoly one. It's called Monopoly Deal. It's much quicker and easier than the full board game. They do a Cluedo version, but I've not tried it.

Tahiti what a lovely welcome :) I'm glad you're home

yikes I do love a good flow chart, and now I wish I had a pointer

Toofar I hope you get some answers soon. Do you have somewhere to write down all your questions as you think of them? Make sure you write down the answers too. (That's a case of do as I say, not as a I do - I always convince myself I'll remember and then a few minutes later I'm already doubting what they said!)

noodles I'm tired just reading that! Sounds like you've had fun though :)

astuz good luck for Monday

purple I don't recommend the Dreamland electric hot water bottle - it's a massive solid plastic lump. Not very cuddly! (I have quite an extensive collection of electric heated things...)

borntobe sorry you're having such a difficult time with your parents. Waiting for results is awful with the biopsies, if they'd seen anything obviously sinister then they would have told you at the time, so hopefully even if there were something dodgy it would have been caught very early.

Waving to everyone else.

I've mostly been sleeping today.

We love playing Monopoly deal too Leslie, we also have the cluedo one but it's not as good.

Hi to all waiting for results, previous posters are right the waiting is awful once you have a plan it gets a bit easier as you have a focus. This is how I found it too.

Hi to everyone else hope your days are going as well as possible.