Cancer support thread 62 - here comes the sun (hopefully)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Good evening

Our previous thread is here

If you've got cancer, this is the thread for you. Introduce yourself and feel free to ask any questions. We also welcome anyone who is waiting for cancer tests. We know how scary it can be. So don't be shy. We will happily hold your hand and hopefully wave goodbye when you get good news :)

It definitely should be Addle, if not we could all start a cancer clothing range

Hi Kerala, wow what a tough time, it's hard enough dealing with chemo so I can't imagine going through it and having young children to look after as well as being pregnant. I'm sorry I don't have any advice as it's not breast cancer I have, do you have other support around you apart from your husband? Massive hand hold from me, you're almost half way through so the end is in sight

kerala I had a single mastectomy just over a week ago and am only just starting to get back on my feet. So sending hugs and flowers xx
I've not had any treatment as yet but what I "plan" to do is schedule nice things for good days.
Like yesterday we took our 9yo out for an hour, the day before hubby & I went for a drive - not too taxing.
Have you had any offers of help from anyone? Could your DC go for sleep overs or play dates to give them fun and you & DH a break?
For example mine went to nannas the weekend of the op then this weekend one went to a friends on Friday and another friends on Saturday and the other went to nannas on Saturday.
I wish I could say something sage and wise, but I'm not wired that way, so am sending love and good vibes xxxx

Kerala no idea how you are coping with chemo, plus pregnancy and two littles. Virtual hugs, .
Have you been able/wanted to tell people about your diagnosis? As MrsP says please don't be shy about accepting offers of help if people offer. I only have twins (5) but we've had people whisking them off for sleepovers and playdates, cooking meals for us, giving me lifts to treatment etc. All much appreciated and I think people really do like to be helping. I don't even know some of the people that well (small village). Appreciate a bit harder to farm kids out if that young but even someone helping in house would give you two a bit of a break.

Thank you, yes my parents are happy to take them, but particularly older one is unsettled by moving house- we have managed to find nursery from September which will help, and I havesome lovely friends locally- I just sometimes get overwhelmed by feeling like I’m letting them down and upsetting them by being unavailable all the time, and it just gets me down feeling so grotty all the time. DH is being great but doesn’t understand (although has learned by number three not to argue) how dreadful and incapacitaing late pregnancy alone is. Hoping once baby is out I’ll feel a bit better.
Struggling to manage looking after everyone elses stress and anxiety about my diagnosis too- my brother emailed me some nonsense about spirulina and ketogenic diets curing cancer the other day, which just makes me want to scream. Sigh

Morning all, I am going in today to have my oophorectomy, they're taking out my ovaries and tubes to finally sort out my hormones. It's keyhole, but 4 keyholes which seems excessive
The kids are very worried, I think they thought it was all over cancer wise. I have always been very honest with them, and told them about my breast cancer as soon as I had a full diagnosis, DD is a bit younger so she knew less detail.
The boys have been ok, DS1 is now 14 and knows way more about medically induced menopause than he wants to!
I look back over the past 2 years and my heart breaks to think they've been the kids with all the worry of having a mummy with cancer. But then, I've always been thankful that it was me with cancer not one of them.
Sorry, I'm waffling, it's the "no breakfast" effect!

Kerala we all feel guilty when it comes to kids for one reason or another. And you're doing amazing. I honestly am in awe of you having chemo while pregnant, never mind having two more kids to look after. Remember they are so young they won't remember any of it so you're not letting anyone down. And it's not like you can't be bothered to look after them either so try and remember that. Have you asked for any emotional support? I told my oncologist I wasn't coping well with the idea of dying when I have a 4 year old, and they referred me to a psychologist. It's the best thing I've done. She helps me loads and even though I feel stronger now I still like to see her every other week. She's a cancer specialist and that's all she deals with and my understand is that there are quite a few of them but they don't always get to see patients.
Hello to everyone else, as usual I've forgotten who said what
Last day of cycle 3 today. Yippee.

Tayto "I only have twins...." Anyone trying to balance cancer treatment with young children has my utmost admiration.

Kerala so sorry you find yourself here. You have a lot to cope with - don't be shy of taking and asking for help.

Purple good luck today - I didn't make it clear before that there is huge difference between malignant ascites (which is what I had) and non-malignant.

Leslie I hope you managed the mashed potato and are feeling better today?

Waving to everyone else. I have a lovely, busy week ahead with all 3 DDs returning, a 21st birthday, a graduation, collection from uni, and much food to be cooked...

Good luck today pepper, I always tell myself it could be worse. At least it's me and not my family

Lol at Tayto "only" having twins! I take my hat off to anyone with little ones to look after while going through this. Luckily mines 16 so he can look after himself.

Just waiting to go down now, they're doing a cytoscopy (sp?) too to see if I'll need my bladder removing. Fun times

Ah TQ lovely having the kids home, I love fussing over people and cooking for them

Good luck purple. Whatever it takes right?

Big lol at tayto with only two 5 year olds to cope with! I have one of them and it's hard enough.

I also thank god is me and not dd, and when I feel sorry for myself I remind myself of that.

hello all....just delurking to reassure people re children. I felt eaten up with guilt that i was lobbing a hand grenade into my children's life with a breast cancer diagnosis etc....but I promise they are so incredibly resilient. Things soon become the 'new norm' and they adapt and carry on. You absolutely aren't letting anyone down....you are ill and dealing with that....definitely the most important thing. And um...honestly aged one and three as long as they feel loved, they won't remember any of it.
I had breast cancer a year ago....mine (boys who were then 10 and seven) barely mention it and have pretty much forgotten it happened i think....though I occasionally bring it up, just so they know they can talk about it if they want to...they don't! But I promise they're as happy go lucky as they ever were.
One thing I would say is to give them facts and um do it when you're feeling on top of things....so they don't pick up on anxiety..
I told them I was having an operation on my breast...but they didn't ask why, so I didn't tell them!! Then once I knew i only needed radiotherapy I did tell them what had been going on, as I didn't want them to ever hear from anyone else and I had a definite plan to tell them about.

But please please don't feel guilty...it sounds like you are doing your very best under hellish circumstances...
meanwhile....
twitter so happy to hear your daughters are home soon..with all the chaos that entails
leslie i hope the mash was delicious and you've graduated on to Angel delight...anyone remember that...god I used to love it and always think of it as 'recovery' food
mrspotter am still giggling about you resting your cup of tea..and the tshirt...I can have a zombie nibbled my boob!!
purple i do hope they get you sorted out soon, sounds like you're having a bit of a rough time, but you seem so upbeat..just full of awe
I absolutely know i've forgotten people....but lots of love and waves to all...must now get on with my article....today's treat is a woman who spends £1000 a month on her dogs..that's just treats and presents, not even food and vets bills etc....so things like buying them new bedding every fortnight as if she just washes it, it isn't as fluffy...and um swarovski crystal necklaces....she's very very lovely..but um barking mad....!!

Just had a shower - no further comment!

I had my examination this morning and was told I'd get the results next week. The hospital have just rang to ask me to go in tomorrow to speak to them. This is not a good sign is it?

I'd like to lie Purple and say you can't read anything into that but I would tend to agree that it's not a great sign. However, it doesn't necessarily mean the worst either. We'll be here, thinking of you and sending positive vibes. What time are you going in?

Thanks TQ, I'm there at 10:30. My oncologist was one of the people who did the examination and spoke to me afterwards to tell me she would see me next week. Aw bloody hell Im really panicking now. I don't feel ill enough to be dying 😩

Sorry about the dramatics, that was a stupidly insensitive post. Apologies if I upset anyone

No no no Purple, you're fine. I was about to reply by saying me neither! And I'm not even in pain..

Good luck tomorrow purple.. I hope it isn't bad news. Do you have someone who can go with you.

Hello Kerala. You aren't letting anyone down and as someone else said, kids are resilient and easily pleased with a cuddle, comic, dvd.

Busy busy busy on here at the moment sorry we have so many needing the thread, but glad you've found us.

purple it might be that they know how awful the waiting is and want to tell you ASAP. I had that once, but obviously they hadn't considered how worrying it might be! They had managed to squeeze my op in at very short notice so wanted to discuss it. Hopefully it'll turn out to be something like that. And whatever it is you'll soon know, which will at least hopefully stop your imagination from going quite so wild it's horrible. And your post wasn't at all insensitive. I often feel that way too.

Kerala hopefully LittleGreyCat will see your post. She hasn't been around for a while but was diagnosed while pregnant and then had treatment with a toddler and newborn baby. You're not letting anyone down

pepper oophrectomy always sounds quite exciting, like oomph. Hopefully you're recovering well and this will be the end of your ovary issues!

Waving to everyone and hugs to those who need them

I've managed to eat half a roll and some Dairylea today as well as an ice lolly. I'm basically a toddler chemo is due tomorrow so hopefully all the steroids and anti sickness will put an end to the nausea once and for all!

Love and good news vibes to you purple

Leslie I hope tomorrow brings you some respite.

I obviously looked quite Cancerish today as had lots of 'The' looks in the supermarket

what I meant was it's all hard enough without being pregnant . I'm definitely worse this cycle. Very tired and serious dire rear . Had three hour nap yesterday then went to bed at eight just after kids.

Purple at least you find out tomorrow, whatever it is. Fingers crossed for you.

Pepper good luck with your op.

Watch out Leslie you'll be at the dizzy heights of petit filous next! Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks everyone, I'm over my drama queen act. We'll see what tomorrow brings, hopefully it is just a surgery date they want to talk about

Good to hear from you Freddie, hope you're well

Ooh I love dairylea Leslie, especially on toast

How are you doing year?

Tayto keep nagging your doctors about the dire rear they should be giving you different things to try, once you get that sorted out you should have a bit more energy

Good luck tomorrow purple - it’s so nerve racking and your post wasn’t at all insensitive! It’s all too much to get your head round (especially when you don’t know what they are going to say) anyway and of course

Hope you feel better tomorrow Leslie and get to have something a bit more appetising! Like maybe

What day cycle are you now tayto? Must still only be day 3 or so?? The first 3 days I always find are a blur and full of random sleeps and nausea...

Hope you are ok too TQ - I have lost track but have you got an appointment too? (Wish I could pause a message and go back and read the last few posts!! My attention span is rather goldfish like when it comes to details at the mo)

Lots of to everyone and night night! 😴

Oh and hope all went smoothly today pepper

Good luck today purple will be thinking of you. Hopefully it is as Leslie suggests and there was a free appointment so it avoided you waiting.

Lesley I hope the anti sickness meds from the chemo today work & you can eat something more tasty! I had memories of delicious dairylea from my childhood, but gave it to my eldest when she was weaning and am def not as keen now. Will not revisit findus crispy pancakes to see if they have changed for this reason! (Not sure if they even still even make them?!)

I hope yesterday's op went well pepper and you are not too sore today.

I had a wobble yesterday as no kids around so the brave face I have been wearing since the biopsies on Friday slipped a bit. My armpit is sore again (prob as it wasn't so much on Sunday and I then did too much so made it uncomfortable again) I keep thinking that even if it is only a lumpectomy op coming up, there is much worse in store for me and having a little cry. I didn't sleep Sun night (well managed 4hrs) which probably contributed too. I may take a couple of days off to get my head straight and be a bit self indulgent whilst the kids are at school, although am even feeling guilty for thinking like this as am sure it will be worse going forwards and I will probably need some time off for the op/recovery and potentially chemo. Hopefully once I get a definite diagnosis next week, I will be calmer again once a plan of action is in place. I keep going over what the consultant said and then convincing myself I am missing a key point too. I am just not very good or patient at waiting for news probably!

& waves to all xx

Noodles it’s totally normal to have a wobble! I had similar and think it is probably part of the processing of the whole situation. It’s fear of the unknown as well so don’t feel bad about it. Maybe it would be worse not to be processing it as later you may have difficulty accepting what’s going on?

Does this cheer you up?? https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/293751405