Would you see a doctor?

[Goingtobeawesome]

I am currently unable to speak. I want to but I can't. I'm certain this is due to the stress and upset I have had this year. I also have panic attacks and shake a lot. This is the fourth time it has happened this month.

Medically I am having a lot of stomach pains and also have symptoms for a neuro endocrine tumour and I will ask for the blood test to check when I see the surgeon next month as the appointment was for the stomach pains and no one knows the new symptoms. I thought I was pre menopausal but blood tests said not but the not speaking is unsettling.

It was nine months ago but I feel like the first 6-7 I was in shock.

Well, he spent money on her but no, the money spent was on legal bills.

Dh making lunch then we're taking puppy out for a walk. Usually meet people. How will I not look stupid when I can't speak? .

Oh I understand that ,the shock sort of protects you at the time but then when the reality hits it's worse .

I'm so sorry that you still can't speak .I won't say don't worry about it but just nod and smile .Get your husband to say to people that you've got a touch of laryngitis . Wrap a scarf around your lower face and just keep warm and keep going .

Don't say if you don't feel like it but were there legal fees connected with the affair ?

Keep going love ,things will get better I promise .

The money and affair are not linked in any way

Was out with the puppy and it's horrible not being able to talk to her. I can tell she's confused .

How the hell am I going to manage tomorrow when I go for my MRI? I wanted to go on my own but don't see how I can manage when I can't speak.

When you go tomorrow, take a notepad. You can write what you need to. Mainly it's about listening to their instructions. I'm sure they can manage, not all their patients will be vocal!

You have had a rough ride, which has left you without enough resilience to deal with your husband's stupidity. Hang in there though, the worst has happened and you are getting help. The worst is passed, you can get through this.

Thank you. Dh has rung to check re my previous surgeries and mentioned I can't talk. They said he can help me once they knew he was going with me. I wanted to go alone.

Oh dear. How frustrating for you. You sound as though you feel a bit like a hostage at the moment. You are a bit trapped into being dependent on him when you really don't want to be.

Good luck today op

I managed a whole normal sentence while watching television last night out of the blue with dh but then nothing. Was mortifying at the hospital as I couldn't speak. One member of staff was lovely, another clearly thought I was odd. The MRI was difficult. I had to lie still for about half an hour and it was very loud. I'm not sure they looked at the right area either and couldn't tell them anything. I have a head ache now and feel very shaky.

I managed to whisper three words since we got home but I almost feel like I am protecting myself by not talking but the thought of trying to force speech is scary.

My dog is unsettled. She is much more bonded to me but is going to dh more. Good, but I feel crap I can't be her mummy. We are very close.

Thank you.

awesome I think yes you are protecting yourself by not speaking . Not surprising given what you've coped with .

just stroke and interact with the puppy ,mouth silently into her ear .
Could you smack your lips ,make little non verbal noises to her ?

Dogs are very intuitive and she will understand and want to comfort you .

Hang on in there sweetheart .You will get through this .You're running on empty right now so be kind to yourself .

What ginger says. Your pup will still love you. It will get better. Be kind to yourself, you have been strong for so long, it's time for a rest now.

Just had a walk with her. She came to me as I could whistle a bit then she had a strop as dh put her on the lead for running into the woods. I told him not to let her go that way. So I set off to come home, he had her, as soon as I went round the corner she came tearing over to me. Dh had her walking home. She stopped every four steps. I encouraged her. Then once I took the lead she walked all the way home...... I'm worried me not talking normally will stress her. I've managed a few words but it's exhausting. I have to really force it. Doesn't feel like me. . and I'm annoyed with dh. I've told him I won't stay married to an idiot so stop being one.

Some men people seem to go a bit weird when they need to look after someone in any way. My DH is not great at team work at the best of times. If I'm under the weather he totally takes over and does everything wrong his way, with bad results. He's pretty much like that anyway, but I feel invisible when I'm ill. Instead of asking what the defrosting meat is for, he'll cook something random with it for example.

I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

I feel much worse today. Very shaky. Dh thinks might be the tablet. I'm fretting as two friends will be ringing today and I can't talk to them. If we don't answer they will be confused when I don't ring back and if dh answers and says I can't talk they will worry.

Just want to hide in bed but my puppy needs me. She knows something is wrong. She is either on my lap or as close to me next to me as she can get.

I think you need to perserve with the tablets .Initially they can have some side effects but these should pass .

Please concentrate on getting yourself well - your DH will need to invent something plausible if he is unable to tell the truth ( not about his affair ) to your friends .If they are your friends cannot he not explain what is happening ? Yes it will worry them but it's honest and perhaps people should worry about you ?

I think your puppy knows that you need her .She will be ok ,stay in bed .Let your DH take her and children out for a walk . It's ok to stay in bed and ok to be ill .
for you and for puppy .And for children.

I will carry on with the tablets. I've got four weeks then I'm not sure what I'm meant to do. I'm having my asthma check up this week so I'll talk to the nurse. She's lovely and knows everything and will help.

I did just go to the shop with dh to get out. Still can't talk. Can't make decisions.

Puppy wouldn't go for a walk without me last week so not sure how that will go.

I'm cold too. On the 3rd and 4th everyone is going back to school and work. I've for acupuncture and asthma check one each of those days.

Should I force myself to talk.

Dh is finding it hard. He said the other day it is hard to interact with soemoene who can't talk.

Puppy sleeping on my foot.

Hopefully side effects will be short-lived (I know one has to get through such things often with medication but it's not pleasant til they ease).

Can your husband say you've got laryngitis? Or that you've lost your voice and it's taking it's time to come back?

I know it's easier said than done (and quite frankly impossible to actually do!) but being anxious about it will possibly make things worse, or at least not encourage your voice to return. Vocal cord issues are easily upset/triggered/worsened by emotions. As I say though, it's obviously not easy to just stop worrying about it.
X

I've texted my two friends to say I can't talk and have lost my voice. One never looks at her phone so she'll probably still ring. Dh can deal with her. I've got a horrible headache and feel sick. Dh doesn't like me not talking. I have hardly seen the kids since Thursday.

There's no point ( indeed will add stress and be counter productive ) trying to force yourself to speak .
Try and accept the fact that you can't speak at the moment .

I can understand that's it hard for your husband but it can't be helped .I guess if you felt inclined you could mouth words to him and make little non verbal gestures .

Can he go out to an out of hours pharmacy and pick you up some buccastem .They are anti sickness meds and dissolve next to your gum .
Or possibly migraleve which combine pain and sickness meds ?

What's going on with your children - is DH looking after them while you're lying low ? Can you see them and just reassure them that you're poorly but still there ?

Regarding the puppy, I have a friend who is very experienced in dog matters and she uses hand signals with her dogs. Obviously you'd prefer to have your voice reliably there every time, but it may be worth a Google
Sorry to hear you've had such a hard and courageous time.

Don't force yourself. This is what you need right now. DP can cope. It's perfectly possible to have a relationship with someone with no voice. It may take a while to work out how to do things, but it's perfectly possible. Hang in there op.

I have a very soggy doggy . Just as we were leaving another dog arrived so she had a lovely play and then a slow walk home in the rain.

I managed a bit of talking while out but thinking about when I have to speak again is stressing me a bit.

The kids think I've lost my voice and don't seem bothered. I think they like me quiet.

Could the non verbal gestures be up yours to him?

Luckily I have trained my puppy with hand signals too so we are communicating okay. She's currently laid against me on the sofa. She didn't act differently when I was able to say out loud a few words to her so maybe it's not a big deal for her.

I really appreciate you all talking to me. I told one RL friend but I don't think she gets what has gone on.

Well done op, you spoke a little bit. Now you've proven to yourself that you can, just take the pressure off for the time being and tell yourself you don't need to speak until you feel like it. The kids don't mind, so try not to force it.

Could you use a whistle for your dog, to get her attention if needed?

Hang in there, it will get better.

So, dog and DCs are fine. DH is an adult and can wait until you are good and ready.

I have had, in the past, a tiny touch of this. It felt as though my mouth got glued shut and it was a struggle to open it for food and drink. I just wanted to be left alone. I also lose my voice in the more traditional sense for quite long stretches. My mum lost hers, though she could whisper, for a year.

It will come back when you are ready, when you feel reassured and comforted, and have grieved for all the pain and loss you have suffered. You need this time. For you: and for doggy:🍖