I am pretty sure my firend has Munhausens syndrome

[Poussin]

She displays so many of the symptoms - incredulous stories constant sickness amoungst her dc's. I had thought it was the 'by proxy' version but am thinking that she displays tendancies towards the syndrome herself.She is constantly at the doctors and i cannot but think that they have her down as a time - waster at the very least.I dont know if anyone has ever experienced anyone with the same sort of problem, Thing is i find it hard to be a good friend to her as i simply cannot beleive the things she comes out with. Other people seem to believe all these ( sometimes ridiculous) goings on but i find myslef feeling guilty because i just cant. When i first met her an acquaintance said to be 'she is lovely but - she lies' i just thought that was a bit harsh at the time but now feel differently.Its kind of not funny any more - just wearing.I cannot bear to see our friends taken in by her and trying to help out wherever possible - in what i see as self imposed difficulites.My husband is her firnd as well and we have laughed about her having this illness for some time but i am a bit passed laughing now.Now i feel it is going from bad to worse.Her daughter had to go to hospital last month - i just dont think there was anything up with her but J persisted in taking her back and forth to gp till they admitted her
I know there is nothing i can do but just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to deal with it before it spoils our friendship
Please dont say i am being a bitch because i am really not. I looked it up on the internet last night and was horrified ( i actually put my hand over my mouth) to read how one symptom in particular was so true to her.
TIA

Munchhausens

are you ranting or looking for advice

because I don't think there's anything you can do about it .. its quite a serious medical condition isn't it? and needs addressing by her own doctor .. who I would've thought would be best placed to diagnose and determine anywy

it is a, as twig said, a serious psychaitric condition , that could potentially be putting her children at risk of harm

are you sure she is not just a hyperchondriac?

TBH, if she is constantly at the GPs, then they might well be aware she has issues

If she spends that much time unecessarily at the GPs, surely they would have picked up a problem?
Maybe she is jsut a bit overprotectve?

maybe her daughter has some really hard to diagnose condition and she is doing her best to get her treated? one syptom off a list off the internet is not a diagnosis

just advice if anybody has had a friend or family member and how they deal with it
I just find that it dominates the way i think about her and couuld do with guidance on how to overcome it

she has four children and states that they all have some pretty 'serious' ailments which never relly show
the one symptom on the internet was an illness/syndrome that her child has and they said it was a classic syndreome for a munchausens suffrere to pick up on

i see,

if you are seriously concerned, can you speak to her HV or her DH?

i am not concerned that she would try to harm them - but feel by draging them to hospitals and through tests etc .i dont really think its dangerous to them but not nice either
everything in her life is a bit over the top

is not one of the parts of munchausens by proxy causing children to become ill, to ensure operations, and treatments and investigations are carried out?

that is yes lulamam
She does not make them ill but alot of their ailmets are 'silent' in that they could or could not have them and doctors will rely on mums word for a dx
it scares me but i do not want to go butting in or nosying about.i have tried to play things down - when i go round ( she only lives a couple of streets away) but she does not let up.

I take it she tells other lies too?

I had a work colleague who was a pathological liar so know how infuriating this can be.

I found it easier not to have too much to do with her and then everything was fine as she didn't have the same opportunity to lie so much.

When you are in your friend's company a lot her lies will seem more obvious but if you don't see her too often it will be easier to ignore as you won't remember that she said the exact opposite a month ago!

Hope you see what I mean? She can only get help if she accepts that she has a problem and unfortunately that is unlikely to happen.

If you suppect her of Fabricated Munchausen?s syndrome then you should warn her GP for the safety of her children.

I thik by proxy and munchausen can be connected....read a book recently called "Sickened" and it was mainly about the by proxy version, however, some bits of the books lead one to believe that the mother also likes the "attention" for herself and making herself ill/prettending to be ill, etc...!
If you believe that she is doing something to her children, i.e. not just making things up and no follow up by doctors, but actually putting the children through unecessary interventions, then you have got to say something, because that is childabuse.
the book I was talking about

yes lurky that is the thing,i do see a lot morre of her she recently moved nearer me and it is now driving me potty. I wonder that others dont see it - so many of her stories leave people wide eyed. All these things could not happen to one woman, the children thing is definitely something. I wont go into detail . I wish i could ring hv annonymously and just say i had my concerns but like i said it is her too. her mediacl record must be a mile long and she is the helthiest peron i know

firstly, IMO you are guilty of doing the same as she is - diagnosing her "illness" from the internet.

As I understand it, Munchausens and munchausens by proxy comes about when someone actually makes themself or their child ill in order to gain attention from the medical profession. You say she makes these conditions up, so it sounds more like she is being nurotic and a hypercondriac (sp?) than causing actual harm to herself or her children.

Is it possible that she is nurotic because of something in her past? i.e. has someone in her life had an illness that hasn't been diagnosed and therefore could this have caused her to be over anxious?

If she spends that much time at the gp, I am positive concerns would have been raised by now. she goes to the doctors regularly and it would seem that she has not been diagnosed by them, so who are you to diagnose her?

Poussin, why don't you send an anonymous typed letter to her gp and hv. Or anonymous phone call. If you are afraid of being traced, use a call box and get someone you trust, ie dh, to do it.
If you're wrong there's no harm done, but what if you're right. . . . . .
If people with that disorder don't receive enough attention to satisfy the disease then they will eventually start to make sure there is an illness!!!

i was jus lookin it up as i had suspicions but was not seeking a dx
what i did find conerned me. If you think that her doctor would have picked up on it then maybe i am wrong. i was thinkin maybe they just see her as a time waster. I have known her since i was a toddler and no bad illneses that i know of.
I was jus lookin for advise

it is escalating without a doubt

does she change doctors regularly

BandofMothers, you're scaremongering. You have no evidence for making the sweeping claim 'If people with that disorder don't receive enough attention to satisfy the disease then they will eventually start to make sure there is an illness!!!'. There have been a few well publicised cases (Beverley Allit) but it is though to be incredibly rare.

I suppose you know that false accusations of this illness have led to mothers (including a Mumsnetter) having their children taken away.

I'm horrified at your diagnose of your friend. The thing is, it is difficult for you to realise if there's really something wrong with her children if you are not living with her.

If you are annoyed by her "lies" you are not forced to spend time with her, accusing her of having such a terrible syndrome, when you are not even a doctor, could get her into terrible difficulties. I think you have to leave the diagnose to the doctors.

no she tends to have one infact i think she insists on the same one i know she moans if she does not get him

It's hardly a sweeping claim, is it? More like common sense. If someone isn't getting the attention they demeand, they demand LOUDER.

agree with bandofmothers. make the call and then spend less time with her and smile when she makes those impossible comments.

My colleague claimed she had invented the guns used in paintballing but had been cheated by the manufacturers so never saw any of the money when the 'game' took off!!!!

We all just smiled and changed the subject - it was never worth challenging her as she took you round and round in circles with more lies!!