I am pretty sure my firend has Munhausens syndrome

[Poussin]

She displays so many of the symptoms - incredulous stories constant sickness amoungst her dc's. I had thought it was the 'by proxy' version but am thinking that she displays tendancies towards the syndrome herself.She is constantly at the doctors and i cannot but think that they have her down as a time - waster at the very least.I dont know if anyone has ever experienced anyone with the same sort of problem, Thing is i find it hard to be a good friend to her as i simply cannot beleive the things she comes out with. Other people seem to believe all these ( sometimes ridiculous) goings on but i find myslef feeling guilty because i just cant. When i first met her an acquaintance said to be 'she is lovely but - she lies' i just thought that was a bit harsh at the time but now feel differently.Its kind of not funny any more - just wearing.I cannot bear to see our friends taken in by her and trying to help out wherever possible - in what i see as self imposed difficulites.My husband is her firnd as well and we have laughed about her having this illness for some time but i am a bit passed laughing now.Now i feel it is going from bad to worse.Her daughter had to go to hospital last month - i just dont think there was anything up with her but J persisted in taking her back and forth to gp till they admitted her
I know there is nothing i can do but just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to deal with it before it spoils our friendship
Please dont say i am being a bitch because i am really not. I looked it up on the internet last night and was horrified ( i actually put my hand over my mouth) to read how one symptom in particular was so true to her.
TIA

Appologies if I did. I just said what I thought. Please don't read inuendos where there's any.

chandra problem is it's difficult to dettect the tone of a post in cyberworld...

it is, indeed

As mothers I think we can all appreciate the consequences of a false accusation, but she's obviously not raising these q's lightly. Surely the consequences, esp for the children, could be worse if she's right but does nothing.
It's tough Poussin and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes, cos if I was I don't think I could leave it.
I am certainly not a meddler and prefer to keep out of things, but some things you can't ignore!!

Does any one know what the right channels might be??

this must have touched a raw nerve - sorry - but honestly, it's driving me mad how easy it seems to be to suggest making an anonymous referral to ss based on total lack of evidence. lets hope neither her or her dp need a clear crb check then or have a nervous disposition! it's not like the gp and hospital aren't already totally aware of all the tests/referrals etc or like poussin has witnessed some incident that no-one else has seenn

morocco however....if it is what poussin think, then Kids are being abused....and yes munchausen by proxy is childabuse, if a rare form! But for the victims it is non the less devastating!
I think it is really difficult, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't...iykwim

Those channels depend on the work she does and the position she has, it also depends on the way her department are structured, however, in the NHS this is described sometimes as the line manager, head, etc.

This person could be a consultant, the head of midwifery, the manager, etc. it all depends on the role you play within your own department.

hopefully this will be my last post
I think, as i have said, that to make this kind of allegation to ss it should be based on some kind of proof that is not already known to the relevant people eg if her friend was going to lots of different doctors so no doctor was aware that lots of other investigations had been carried out or if you had witnessed/heard something that none of those authorities had knowledge of but that would be relevant. poussain doesn't mention either of these possibilities. so i don't think she has any special knowledge to pass on.
if she still makes an accusation, it should at least not be anonymous so that if she herself has some kind of mental health issue that leads her to repeatedly make such allegations about people (sorry poussain, but such things happen as well) then ss will be aware that she regularly makes up such allegations against people. this last comment is not so much about poussain as such as the attitude that it is ok to make anonymous allegations based on no proof btw there are also conditions such as paranoid personality disorder that involve delusional thoughts with no basis in reality which lead people to make such allegations against other people (real life can sometimes be scarier than casualty)

I can see where you are coming from, and of course one has to be very very very sure that one has a reason to worry about a child or other person....I agree, of course it isn't alright to make allegations that are based on nothing.

surely the GP will have some clue? I mean, if she's not going to different GPs but going to the same one, they would have twigged.

I (due to some health problem the useless GP couldn't figure out) went to the doctor (for myself) 10 times in one year and was asked at the last appointment whether I might be depressed because I kept coming so often when there was nothing wrong (there was, just took a consultant to find it ). Doctors are pretty quick on the uptake.

In your shoes Poisson, I'd think of having a heart to heart with her and ask her if there is anything wrong or any way you can help her.

The very, very last thing you should do is go anywhere near social services on the basis of a "feeling" that she is a hypochondriac or exaggerates illnesses in her children.

It is not a crime to be a hypochondriac. It is not a crime to lie or exaggerate or to be overly anxious about one's childrens' health. In fact, a lot of women seem to be anxious about their children to a degree that I would describe as obsessive (probably myself included at times). I think the problem is that they live their lives through their children and have sort of lost contact with their own needs.

The obsession comes out in different ways - one way is a obsession about the child performing at school (ie: must get 11 A*s and Grade 9 violin and piano). Another way is a neurotic obsession about illness (oh my God - look a tiny spot, perhaps it's meningitis). Yet others seem to have an obsession about controlling the social lives of everyone around them - a sort of Queen Bee syndrome.

Sounds like your friend needs to get a bit of a life outside her children and a sense of perspective.