Would you take your dc to Tesco if they had chickenpox?

[QueenEagle]

ds3 came down with chickenpox on Saturday, bless him. Hopefully ds4 will catch it very soon as I am due to start work in 4 weeks.

I need ideas on what I can do with the two of them for the next week. I think we will go stir crazy if we don't go out! Today is first day off playgroup and I am getting frustrated already!

Of course, I need to get some groceries in, it will be ok to nip in and straight out wouldn't it, if I kept him in the trolley and didn't let him run around?

dh is not available until late on Thursday this week and I am severely limited to what help I can draw on from family members due to their own health problems - dad has leukaemia so he just CANNOT come anywhere near atm.

There is a view that if children were vaccinated against chicken pox, there would be a rise in the cases of shingles in adults. Exposure to chicken pox for adults who have already had it reduces their chance of shingles.

dejags - out of curiousity, have you looked into the vaccine for your baby. I think (but could be wrong) that its only licensed in the UK for older children.

Exactly nutty! I am in a situation where I know no-one who could take my other child to playgroup or school, so I too would have to take them with me.

What a lot of people don't realise is that some of us are in situations where we have no choice. Lucky those that do.

Exactly QE, obviously no one wants to take a child out that has CP but if you have to then what else can you do.

I'm shocked by the number of people who really have no alternative to taking their contageous children out and about. Is there really no-one else you could ask to drop round the essentials for you? Or help you with the school run? Or sit with your kids for 5 minutes while you pop to the corner shop? If so, I find it incredibly sad that there are some families that are so isolated and a pretty poor indication of the state of the UK today .

When DS had chicken pox, the school arranged for us to drop DD off 5-10 mins late and pick up 5-10mins early, so that there was no contact between DS and the children/other parents/teachers etc.

I find it unbearably sad tbh that you are so isolated within your own community that there is no-one who you can ask for help for a few days

People in my social circle fall over themselves to help out in circumstances like this - as indeed I would do for any one else.

It does make you wonder what the world is coming to, sometimes

Could you ask the school if you could drop your dcs off early. Explain that its either that or stand in the playgroup with an infectious dc.

By the way, am still considering what I'll do when dd2 comes down with it!

Zog, I am a single mum of 3 and I don't drive.

I have 1 neighbour who's daughter goes to the same school as my kids but she has recently suffered a breakdown and so her dd more often that not stays at relatives homes and goes to school from there.
I also cannot shop online as I only have a cash card not a debit card and so I have to go out to get food.

My mum lives around the corner from me and would gladley help me out but she works shifts and can sometimes be working from early morning until late evening.

Some people just cannot rely on others and thats that.

I'm not doubting you NC, I just think it's really sad. Have to say, if a mum from school that I didn't know asked me to help out in an emergency, I'd do whatever I could to help. Would it be worth trying someone QE?

If there is no other option then of course you must do what you have to; but hopefully some of the replies will have opened people's eyes to the fact that cp is not just a mere inconvenience for some.

I would take them out by day 5 but probably not before.

Zog, I am a mother of 5. Married but dh works nights so is in bed from 10am til 4pm then again from 9pm til 11pm when he goes to work.

Nearby I have my dad and his wife, dad has leukaemia so is very limited what he can do for me. SIL is nearby but she doesn't drive and she has MS so she too is very limited what she can do for me. DB works all hours and is a selfish twat so no help there I'm afraid.

I have no friends nearby, only acquaintances and I would not dream of calling on any of them for help.

dd is 15, very capable and sensible - currently studying for exams so I am mindful of what extra responsibility I put on her - she already sits for me x2 per week when I am working and dh is out with the older boys at footy training.

ds1 is 13, very sensible and reliable when needed.

ds2 almost 11, not quite so reliable and daft as a brush. ds1 and ds2 together though can be a mare!

ds3, 4, (one with chickenpox) is autistic so at times very difficult to handle so I guess I have become quite isolated due to his behaviour in recent years.

ds4, 2, is adorable but like a puppy, needs to get out and about plenty each day otherwise chews the furniture!!!

So you see, I am very limited hence the need to just get on and do things myself.

I still don't quite understand how you parents with vulnerable children cope. It is all very well to avoid diseases when you know they are there, but you cannot know when your child is in contact with another child who infectious but not yet exhibiting any symptoms.

When ds1 was younger, there was a boy in his class undergoing chemo and we were asked to inform the school every time our child had a cold or something mild enough for them still to attend school, so that the parents of the child having chemo could keep their child off school. He once caught a cold that was going the rounds and was in hospital for about 6 weeks IIRC.

His vulnerability was relatively shortlived - about 2 years I think - after which he was well enough to be at school all the time, but it did make me wonder at the time how much schooling he could possibly be getting. I used to teach primary and there was pretty much always some bug doing the rounds.

Would any of you parents of vulnerable children care to explain how you cope with this?

Re social isolation: yes it really does exist! If you had moved as many times as I have since starting a family (this is our 6th home and my eldest is 10) you might not have as many people to call on either. I am lucky in that my children are now getting to the stage where they can look after themselves a bit more, but my dh works long hours (often away overnight) and if ds3 caught CP I think I wold find it easier to take him round the supermarket than I would to make any alternative arrangement.

But QE - you have DH around between 4pm and 9pm and two teenage children - that is miles more suport than many people have.

Why can't DH go to the supermarket - or you go while he looks after the DCs?

Why can teh elder children babysit while you pop out?

I just cannot for the life of me see why you have to do 'everything' yourself, when you have so many family resources around!

Can I ask if those of you who find is so selfish to take a child with CP onan essential trip to the shops would also find it just as selfish to let a child with a tummy bug go back to school/playgroup less than48 hours after the last bout of illness, or to allow a child with a bad cough to go to playgroup? I ask because I have a crippling fear of vomiting and often see people here posting that they are sending a child to school after being sick, and also because someone sent a child to playgourp with a cough just after Christmas and my son caught the cough, still has it very badly 3 weeks later, and is now being treated for a chest infection which the cough developed into. Comparing all this to my experience of CP, give me the CP anyday.

tbh I find this post unbelievable, I do everything I can to prevent my children from spreading illnesses, we were unfortunate here to have chicken pox for 6 weeks, yes 6 whole weeks during which time i arranged to pick up and drop of my kids from school at different times to avoid mixing in the playground. I also did my shopping online and generally really had a crap time. I never send my kids back to school with vomiting bugs and am as holier than thou about that as i am CP. DG you or your child getting CP isn't going to kill you, it could someone else, going out and knowing full well you could infect someone to the point of putting their lives at risk is selfish, comparing it with vomiting etc doesn't justify it at all.
people with autoimmune illnesses have to worry every time they leave their house yes but they would have to worry less if people didn't hold such selfish opinions.

DG, I'm am not the world's most social person either (and I have left my support network behind when I moved, so I do know what it's like) but TBH, I think it's a necessity to have someone that you can call on in an emergency and vice versa. Do you have a next door neighbour? Are you on nodding terms? I'm sure they would leave a bag of bread/milk on your doorstep, if asked.

when mine had cp I did have to do the school run - I didn't think to ask if I could go earlier or later (if/when dd3 gets cp I'll know next time) but I did warn people. I didn't go shopping or go anywhere else though.

However, I did have to get the bus to come back from school. I just don't have any alternative I'm afraid - the children could not walk all the way. I know that in an ideal world we would be able to stay indoors for the whole time our children have chicken pox, or other dangerous diseases, or have someone else stay with them, but this isn't always possible.

dh gets up at 4 on days when I go to work. When I am home he takes advantage and might getanother hour or so. Not easy when 5 kids are running around!

He often has evening meetings - as he does tonight and he as to go to work tonight too.

dd is at school til 5pm today then she has an evening activity which starts at 6pm til 8pm. Not fair to ask her today to go to Tesco too. She will also have homework.

Tomorrow I am at work at 4pm myself, dh will get up when I leave. Same Wednesday. Thursday i am out too.

So this week is actually pretty hectic - with no outside support - thatis why I need to nip to Tesco myself today or tommorrow at the latest for essentials.

QueenEagles' situation does seem particularly difficult, but as a teacher (for an after-school club) I've come across loads of parents who let their kids come in when they're infectious - with CP, stomach-bugs etc.

I send them straight home.

One mother was dropping her son off, and mentioned her 3 year old (in the pushchair under my nose) had chickenpox. I was 15 weeks pregnant at the time - and she knew this.

I was absolutely livid, and let her know.

Putting others at risk because it's inconvenient for you to do otherwise is pretty anti-social imo.

is there any delivery slots left for tomorrow? or can yu pop down local corner shop to grab a few pieces leaving ds with the other dc afterschool for a few minutes.

can dh not pop into a supermarket on the way home, not ideal I know.

Quadrophenia, I did not think I was putting other's lives at risk taking a child out with CP. I have learnt today that I could be risking some children's lives, but I still have not had an answer to how you deal with that as vulnerable children must be always coming into contact with sick children. I am sorry, that must be an awfully hard thing to live with, but I do not quite see the solution as we cannot always keep sick children home.

God, the thought that my unborn child might have been endangered because I travelled on the bus in my first trimester...

Makes my blood boil, frankly.

Imagine if it was your baby.

And don't accuse me of selfishness please. You do not know me, and I don't think insults are called for.

Hardly seems worth doing an online shop for milk, bread, fruit and cheese.

Will either have to send ds1 after school (and borrow some of his birthday money as I have no cash in the house) or get dh to pop in on way home later.

You know, I really didn't think this thread would turn into a hooha like this! MN is amazing!