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From BoffinMumsFibroid: Come here all you fellow fibroids and bring me your success stories

281 replies

BoffinMum · 27/08/2015 20:38

I am a lovely fibroid the size of an orange and I have successfully infiltrated BoffinMum's body causing all sorts of mischief

Roll up, roll up and tell us what you are up to and how big you have grown.

By the way, my role model is the alien that burst out of Sigourney Weaver's body in Alien. Except I do not plan on bursting out!

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BoffinMum · 18/09/2015 22:06

Well, I am back. Things are not looking good for me. The gynaecologist looked at me with the special thing and showed me to BoffinMum on the computer screen. I did my best to hide in the uterine wall, and he said it wasn't really a good idea to take me out because I am stuck in quite deep, and BoffinMum has all the children she needs anyway. I thought I was going to be safe. However he then announced that BoffinMum can take some medicine called Esmya and that will shrink me!!!!! OH NO!!!!! BoffinMum was very happy about this and is looking forward to getting better without surgery. My evil plans have FAILED!!!!

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Geepee71 · 23/09/2015 22:00

Evil twin roids here, currently 10x10cm each, currently lying in wait and not causing pain, just lurking in background........ Awaiting results from CT scan, then await our fate. Host is most intrigued as to how much we weigh.

BoffinMum · 24/09/2015 08:44

I think a 10cm roid probably weighs a stone in its own right. Any weight gain ishoos are definitely entirely the fault of a roid.

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OTheHugeManatee · 24/09/2015 08:45

We are the MannyFibroids. I, the leader, am the size of a small melon and the rest of us aspire to the same glorious dimensions. We also take delight in causing BUPA to refuse treatment

We are slightly worried as our host got the NHS to MRI us the other day, which might be a sign of things to come. But we're having fun meanwhile causing spectacular Niagara-like periods so whevs Grin

Geepee71 · 24/09/2015 13:13

Ooooh BoffinMum that sounds great from weight perspective. That's the positive side, thinking of flat tum and weight loss and fitting into my trousers.... Am likened to being 24 weeks pregnant, which is ironic given option of hysterectomy being bandied about.

Geepee71 · 24/09/2015 13:14

Totally blaming roid for weight, not cake, no defo not cake........ Cake

BoffinMum · 24/09/2015 18:37

Yup, BUPA love roids because they refuse to treat us. Roid fan club.

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BoffinMum · 25/09/2015 21:05

OH NO!
BUPA have now relented and offered to pay for treatment!
The NHS has stepped in too with counter-offers of treatment!
WE ARE DOOMED!

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Geepee71 · 26/09/2015 07:48

That's not boding well for you then, BUPA means serious business, this could be the start of your last hurrah. How could BoffinMum do this to you, thought she might grow attached to you and you never had chance to create a commune...... Bah!

BoffinMum · 26/09/2015 09:43

I know, I was working on growing a colony of mini Brians but alas this is not looking promising at all.

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NightLark · 26/09/2015 10:00

I am just the one, a mere 4cm in size, but have skills you would not suspect. I am currently causing the Nightlark to languish in bed, bleeding copiously (12 ultra lillets since yesterday morning) and I am having new success in making her squeal in pain if anything touches her belly. Or if she try's to stand up straight, the fool. But my days are numbered, the gynae appointment came through yesterday and it seems she is willing to tolerate some dire injection followed by hysteroscopy and ablation. I may lose my home. My only hope is to inflict a never ending series of minor illnesses, preventing her from attending for surgery....

BoffinMum · 26/09/2015 10:58

Nightlarksfibroid, whatever you do, don't let Nightlark get her hands on these Utovlan period delay tablets from the GP as they will stop the bleeding completely until the hysteroscopy. Shock

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NightLark · 26/09/2015 14:28

KryptoniteAngry

Geepee71 · 26/09/2015 18:00

Think we've been approaching this all wrong, you guys are inspired, yet we Lloyd and Floyd the roids, are being a bit too lax. Only found out due to pesky nurse thinking host GeeP was looking a tad pale, then bloods showed Ca125 at a mere 60. Had indignity of being prodded by consultant and called a mass. Then ultra sound confirmed our existence and size (might even be triplets, but what do they know) and now CT scan. Waiting on results of CT. Hmmmm might have to up the ante if GeeP thinks we're going to go quietly........ Mwah haha haaaaaa cackle

BoffinMum · 27/09/2015 23:27

Can you join up and make one big bowling ball size one and get owner to burst out her trousers at work??

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Geepee71 · 28/09/2015 20:14

Mwhaaaaaa ha ha ha, I like your style, bowling ball indeed..... Think we have a reprieve, no news still, maybe they have forgotten we exist, might have to make a nuisance to remind GeeP who's the boss!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/09/2015 10:07

Hey I had a medium sized melon - had an abdominal myomectomy last Dec. Recovery was a bitch !

I have to be honest that post surgery a lot of stress came along and some new ailments have popped up (back pain) however

My stomach is loads flatter and I no longer feel like I have a balloon being inflated in my tummy

Periods still heavy but marginally less

The NHS will treat it - you just need to be patient - or kiss goodbye to the best part of £4000 Sad

BoffinMum · 29/09/2015 10:11

I think these fruit analogies are frankly too limp for a proper roid. We need metaphors that are much more evil and assertive. After all, roids are the IEDs of the gynaecological world.

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Geepee71 · 30/09/2015 21:39

Very good point, don't want to be downplayed, we are evil geniuses and need to be shown respect! Like cannon balls or.... Ummmm.

Geepee71 · 04/10/2015 18:45

Medicine ball has been mentioned by consultant. Not sure that helps depict size though!
BoffinMum, seems you were on the money, CT scan has shown we have amalgamated into one 'impressive' mass thought to be about 5kilos in weight. Host is now on waiting list to evict us.......... In the next three months, so we get to stop any Christmas related hysteria as GeeP will prob be laid up, but hardly any notice at all. Bah! How are you doing any news on treatments to evict or shrink you?

BoffinMum · 04/10/2015 21:15

FIVE KILOS?!

Good grief.

BoffinMum is apparently going to take some medicine to shrink me. She sees the consultant in December again.

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Geepee71 · 04/10/2015 22:01

Indeed, we have silently grown strong! They have no idea how old we are either. But bailiffs are keen to start eviction process, which sounds extreme.

Keep us posted on the shrinkage, sound interesting.

Geepee71 · 12/10/2015 21:07

Been pencilled in for op beginning of November, eeeeeeeeeek!

BoffinMum · 17/10/2015 22:22

YIKES!
Have you no human rights?

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Geepee71 · 18/10/2015 19:50

It would appear not, pre-assessment date set, then eviction 2 weeks later! All moving very fast!

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