Back Pain and Internet Shopping. Thread Number 5.

[PavlovtheCat]

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn.

And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us.

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly, have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

You will see just how much we do talk if you read our previous threads (where you may glean lots of answers about pain relief, surgery etc, best winter boots etc):
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2049637-Back-Again-Back-Pain-Support-Thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2023274-More-Terrible-Back-Stories

Hello dear backthread people old and new.
I haven't surfaced for a while (and used to have a cinnamony nn).

My L4/5 prolapse is still there, had a second MRI, which looks identical to that from April. So on friday I'll have a nerve root blocker, steroids, as I'm allergic to Nsaids.

I'm still hopeful it will just go away, reabsorb, whatever. The spinal surgeon says he would give it a year - that's in March. He also said he only operates on 5 out of 100 patients. So not someone who sharpens his scalpel as soon as someone limps into his consulting room.

I don't take any painkillers anymore, the heavy guns used to knock me for 6, Tramadol and Gabapentin are the worst (even though I've been given a shedload of them)

Most days I manage school runs and driving around, with lumbar roll, but I so so miss my exercise classes, the dancing

Hopefully the injections will get me painfree, that would be amazing, after almost 9 months. Tbf it IS a lot better than at my worst times, so there has been some healing going on. Just not enough.

I'm off to read how you're doing now.

oh pavlov that made me cry for you .. your family sound lovely though!

I've been ill (something else) so just enjoying some "only the back troubles" days ... it'll wear off lol

freedom I am on the sofa, watching The Grinch with the children. Fighting tears. I don't want yet another christmas that is ruined through back pain, had 3 christmases like this (although last christmas I was relatively mobile for the first time, but the two before it I could barely move.

And I don't want my children to have to be my fucking carers, they are 8 and 5, they are tiny and they need their childhoods to not be dominated by this. I mean, it's always there and that's ok, they need to know that not everyone is the same, and that I can do lots of things but some things I just can't, but the actual having to take my boots off, and sort my pillows out, help me walk, that's not their job. I don't want this for them. Or for me. Or for DH. It was not meant to be like this. In sickness and in health, but I anticipated the sickness would be a few years longer, anticipated old age sickness. DH and I have gone through a lot of difficulties due to this, but he keeps reassuring me he does not look after me out of duty, he took his vows seriously and he wants to look after me, it's part of what love it, but I can't help worrying about the day to day grind of this never ending shit on us. We should have had more time to be in a 'normal' relationship before this.

and yes, my family are the best. My children are so caring. DD has always been empathic and compassionate. I remember puking when I was pregnant with DS, she was 3. She would come and stroke my back as I hurled, and would climb into bed with me and stroke my hair. I told her she would make an awesome nurse when she is older if she wanted to do that. And she loves blood and gore!

Oh Pavlov
I really hope it gets sorted. I know how your mood can be affected by the constant pain.
Sending you positive vibes.

Pavlov what to say? It's shit, it's not what you want and you are at the end of your rope. It's so fucking unfair that we just know that in order to give a five year old a party, go to the shops, just bloody live there is, for us this appalling price to pay. Your family are indeed lovely but that is because you are lovely. They care for you and do all they do from love. Just another few weeks and you will, please god, be on the slow road to recovery.

So today is sofa and bed day. That's ok because it has to be ok. Hope you get the diazepam and suggest regular doses until the spasms have passed. I had the twitching spasms this week and it is grim.

Kitchen frustrations here. Several wrong cupboard etc have been ordered. All leading to delays and more potential problems. Feeling very fed up. It's costing so much and nothing but avoidable mistakes.

This thread is so sad sometimes, Poor Pavlov (and everyone else I sometimes miss)
I guess it's because we've all experienced the pain and the tears, the worry about our poor DH's and DC's having to help us, all the frustrations and regret that comes with it and we are reminded of our own suffering too.

I survived my first two days back! I got a pass out of assembly so I can lie down for 20 minutes after lunch which made a lot of difference. I got the children to tell me off if they saw me bending over a table or sitting on a little chair. By Friday afternoon I got a bit over confident. I had thirty children with 8 leaves each which needed sellotaping into their art books. As I went round leaning down to do each one I imagined telling my physio next week what it was I'd had to do which had buggered my back. I saw her looking me in the eye and asking me why they couldn't stick their own leaves in and I thought oh yeah! OK they did fight over the sellotape, it did get tangled, it took ages and it was a messy job but hey ho.

There is a TA at school who has two separate discectomies and is still in terrible pain. I have an Aunt who had her back fused and still suffers. I guess that supports the anti surgery thought. I don't know. I suffered constantly from my first pregnancy until a year after the first child's 7th birthday. I felt my surgery was very successful. I simply hadn't been able to heal while pregnant and looking after small children and felt the surgery solved the problem. Dunno.

No rat update. Might actually put the things back in the cupboards this weekend.

Oh pavlov, so sorry you're in this terrible acute pain again. Really, really hope that at least some of it will turn out to be from the muscle spasm & will ease up with diazepam. Have you got plenty?

Berrie I was wondering if you were at work. Well done for getting there. A lie down sounds excellent and teaching children to do something practical is a job well done. I agree that having the image of your physio raising her eyebrows or tutting quietly is a Good Idea. Rather sad that Ratgate is over. Moved on in disgust after the bran flake offering.

Speaking of physios this might raise a smile. Mine knows all about my addiction to heat patches. She saw a new client this week who had five Patches stuck all down her back! Must be wealthy. Speaking of heat patches, Curaheat have some fab double ones. I'm lying on one right now.

I might go get those double heat patches, just what I need.

Lidocaine patch seemed to work well when I took the only one I have tried so far, But. I wonder if it is why I felt better yesterday morning in terms of back pain (you have to do 12 hours max, then have a full day without one on before the next so seems to build up and last), and then that meant I did too much. I feel quite stupid, knowing how this works, and doing too much in the morning. I actually thought to myself 'i'm getting better!' because one day I moved for a short time with not huge amounts of back pain.

I am going to put one on again in a moment. I forgot about them, so maybe the heat patch will have to wait until tomorrow as won't be able to have both.

I am pretty sure it is mostly muscle spasm, as it's that awful unable-to-stand-and-walk pain that causes you to cry out, the pain that when you first get it you panic that something really scarily awful is happening, as it's quite frightening, so I am hoping that some rest, muscle relaxants and painkillers will sort that out. But, I worry that the cause of the muscle spasm is related to the disc rather than the stenosis, or as well as.

berrie I am also rather sad to learn of the Ratgate saga being over. At least you can say the bran flakes worked, by the rats being so disappointed that they left glad work was ok, and that you could get a chance to lay down and have some help with the children - how old are the children you teach?

matilda on your behalf re kitchen. It's horrible when things go wrong and you are paying for it, doesn't inspire any confidence for the rest of the work. Ours is done now in that we can use it, but have snag list to finish when builder returns next weekend - we need to paint the ceiling before the floor goes down, and there are a few things to be finished - grouting, bit of skirting here and there to be put back, boiler boxed in etc. A days' work he says, then he will do our larder cupboard. We are paying a lot too for him to fit it, but I do feel it's worth the money. I also find him pleasant to be around and as he has been working til 7pm some nights, that has been important as we have needed to be doing things around him, he had lunch with us last weekend too, and so that niceness is worth the money as I recall the builder when we had our loft messed up, I hated the man in the house, he was not nice really, even before it went wrong.

Mother of DSs best friend has offered to take the children for the afternoon and have tea at her house. Her DS is in my DS's class, they have been best friends since nursery. Her DD is in my DDs class! how mad is that! they are not best friends like the boys but they do like each other and get on well. So that means Ross can go to get few bits for painting and whatnot, might even get a coat of paint on the ceiling. How am I going to manage not telling him how to do it

That's nice of her. Definitely go away to another room, it's simply not possible to keep quiet .

Oooo - tell me about the larder cupboard! I fell in love with a corner one in Wickes but we felt it took up too much of the floor space. Since then we have added another 2m to the extension plans so maybe we could have one after all.
DH is right now huffing and puffing as I keep changing my mind about where the windows should be in the kitchen and he is altering the plans himself. We are hoping to submit the plans next week! It looks like we are going to get permission to move the sewer. Permission itself has cost us over £1000 and the diversion will cost about £10,000. I'm not entirely sure that it is worth it but we have failed to find anywhere else in the village in 3 years and a house the same size would probably cost more than the extension. Having spent this much already, we decided to actually get planning permission, then some proper quotes, then see how much to borrow then make the decision about whether to go ahead! It's rather daunting especially as my confidence in holding down a job has been dented recently.

pavlov that does sound like spasm to me - I only had it once and screamed the place down getting back to bed and waiting for a doctor to come out .. worst pain EVER! Mine was caused by stress/long car journey and has made me paranoid about travel .. perhaps you did too much but we never learn as things have to be done so we just try and do them. I can understand how you feel about the kids having to help and its not fair. I am at least pretty much an old biddy but most of you guys are way younger than me and that's a rotten hand to be dealt.

I worry my DH does too much and will get fed up of me ... I still manage to cook and do small bits round the house but heavy cleaning, DIY, etc is all down to him. I get the main shopping delivered and just buy a few things at a time to top up so he doesn't have to do that unless I am flat out.

all round on me!

The children in my class are 8/9 - Year 4.

It's not as flash as it sounds We had a badly built hallway cupboard that leads from the kitchen, stored coats and linen, but was mostly a 'cupboard of doom', and so it has been ripped out and is being rebuilt as three cupboards with sliding doors - two big tall cupboards with shelves in (in time when we have more money we will design a fully gorgeous larder insert with custom built sections - I have seen some beautiful ones), a couple of drawers for foil/clingfilm etc, two hanging veg baskets, space for sacks of cat food etc, and then a cupboard for hoover (we have a handheld dyson with a charging station which will be attached inside), mop and bucket, iron etc and shelving for bleach/cleaning products etc.

Not sure where our shoes, coats and 'crap' is all going - because we have another cupboard that needs to be built for all that further in the hallway but no spare cash for that til next year.

We have a cupboard of doom under the stairs too. It sounds like it will be lovely Pavlov I didn't realise it at the time but I think the appeal of the larder cupboard for me was that you don't have to bend down or reach up stuff is just there! Bliss!
We will have to knock down the conservatory for the extension. We've put on the plan to reuse the panels (it's not that old) round the back. People keep asking why we want a North facing conservatory round the back when we will have all this extra room but it's because I don't want all the crap in my nice new extension!! I don't intend to spend any time in there!

Oh dear... in debate about juliet doors v window in bedroom now... I like the way we are deciding what we want willy nilly never mind the cost! I guess if we get permission for doors we can change it to a window more easily than the other way around... [No idea what we are doing emoticon]

definitely juliet doors. They are beautiful. And, as matilda can likely testify, fabulous when you can't (or don't want to) get out of bed and want a view or some air.

ok, up to ooh docs next to the hospital in a short while. Doc wants to see me in person a) as docs won't prescribe diazepam without seeing me (not got my notes in front of him, will see on call doctor there) and 2) he would like me to be assessed properly given the sudden and intense increase in pain which meds are not reducing enough, to see if it might be a good idea to get checked out by the hospital, and if so, he can fast track me as it's next door to A&E.

Got to wait for DH to get back, so will see how it goes. He'll need to take me as I can't drive like this.

Can you even sit in the car? Can you sit in the waiting room?
If you go in an ambulance (we had to get GP to talk to the drivers who were unsure) you can have gas and air for the bumps and be taken straight in for some lovely intravenous morphine!

Mind you...it was oramorph on the ward and a wait for several days before a consultant came and told me to sleep with a pillow between my legs and sent me home

Oh sorry pavlov didn't read your post properly with the fast track nextdoorsy bit.
Good Luck.

My point exactly! I told DH I'd spent a lot of time in bed over the years and you can only see the sky through the window! I've no idea why I'm surprised but I am surprised by how much of this plan is influenced by my back pain.
We have compromised on juliet doors with side lights which have opening windows in them. Is that a thing? 'Tis now DH has drawn them on!I'm a bit worried that all these windows that DH has drawn on won't be standard sizes and will be expensive to have made. Will we be able to change them after planning permission slightly do you think? We are not overlooked round there. The en suite window definitely won't be a standard. I asked DH to make it so that I could see out of the window from my roll top bath! I spend a great deal of time in the bath...(am going to need an electric blind!)

Definitely Juliet doors, 100%. I have done almost every common home improvement project you could mention over the years and to date I honestly think it's one of the best. We have a loft bedroom which was already here when we bought the house. It's a pretty huge room but was a bit featureless. The window needed replacing so I insisted on the French doors. Best thing ever. and certainly less stressful than bastard kitchen.

pavlovgood luck with the doc. Maybe take your letter from George if they don't have your notes? I wouldn't catastrophise too much about scary new injuries. Hopefully you've just partied a little too hard. If you tell a back novice your back is spasming they have no idea what agonising hell it can be.