Tamoxigang thread 50 with summer sun, sangria and maybe even some sand

[foofooyeah]

Welcome to thread 50 .... Yes FIFTY.
Lots of us are rising 50 so rather apt!

myAngles I was in similar situation this time last year. I had only 4 nodes removed I and just one had cancer present.
For me, it meant that chemo then became an option. Otherwise it was going to be just Rads. I opted to go chemo. I've finished all treatment since June, and I'm doing really well. Chemo was fairly doable.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks all.
Foo- how do they expand it? I am going to have to write a long list of questions. I hope you are getting enough rest. How is work going? Another question- how long before I might start to feel a bit more normal from the chemo?

Giraffe- welcome. Can I ask is your mil stage 3 or grade 3? Grade 3 is the type but I think stage 3 is where it has moved to somewhere else. Someone more knowledgeable will put me right if I've got that wrong. I misheard at my first appointment and thought they said stage 3 which didn't help my state of mind.Hopefully the rest of the nodes will be clear but if not there will be a plan. I presume she is going to have chemo?

My angels- am also looking at booking in there.
Sorry that one node ended up positive. If your plan ends up involving chemo then as mom said, it is doable. I hope you enjoyed your wine and tapas.

Hi. She said stage 3 but at that time it was "just" in the lymph nodes and the breast so don't know really?

It was just at her pre op yesterday they mentioned that if it is more than three nodes it is likely to have spread around the body. No idea if that is likely or not? She has convinced herself of the worst I think.

The plan from the start has always been surgery, then chemo and possible rads. Not sure if that will change if the diagnosis changes?

On a lighter note though as a result of this DH has discovered she had breast implants 30 years ago!! No one knew. It was after her divorce and she told no-one. Did it just for her self esteem!!

You could not meet a less vain or image conscious person. Everyone can still surprise you!

speedy stage 3 usually means either the tumour is large/well developed and/or there are multiple nodes involved (more than 3 with bowel cancer, not sure if it's the same with breast cancer). Mine was stage 3, as I had four nodes involved. Stage 4 is where cancer has metastasised to other parts of the body, that's the same for all cancers.

Gerry welcome, and I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. Having multiple nodes involved isn't great, but it also isn't usually the end of the world. Breast cancer is really treatable. They have lots of different treatments available and even people with many nodes involved can be successfully treated. There are some who have been on the thread with lots of nodes, so don't panic yet :)

Cross-posted with you. Here is some more information about breast cancer stages. It is a lot more complicated than with bowel cancer, so my apologies for my previous post, which isn't very accurate. So Stage 3 could mean lots of nodes involved or it could mean a large tumour without any node involvement, and various things in between! The stages seem to encompass quite a few different scenarios

When you say they told her that it was likely to have spread around the body, do you mean secondary tumours? I've never heard that before. Was it a member of her team (surgeon, oncologist, breast nurse) or just a member of the pre-op assessment staff? What they may have meant is that having cancer cells in any lymph nodes means that the cancer cells have escaped from the tumour and set off in search of somewhere new to grow. However the whole point of the lymphatic system is to deal with this sort of thing. The lymph nodes will collect up anything troublesome. So finding cancer cells there just means that the lymph system is doing its job. Once the cancer has started to spread then obviously there is a risk of it being in other places, but being in many nodes doesn't automatically mean that there will be tumours elsewhere.

I don't know if that made any sense but basically, don't panic yet! :)

Helpful posts there rahrah. Sometimes this whole thing is very confusing!

Gerry- definitely agree with rahrah. No need to panic yet and there are such good things around to treat it.

Really must get dressed and go shopping now. Lots of rain here.

speedy they inflate the expanders by injecting more fluid into them over the course of a few weeks ..... I think

Chemo .... I found FEC not too bad but docetaxol was harder. It kind of had a cumulative effect so after the last one I was tiredest. That is when everyone expects you to be back to normal but you are feeling at your roughest. I would say a month after your last you will be feeling back to normal completely ..... Just in time for Rads

They have told her it is likely to have spread to other parts of the body apparently and she will have an MRI to confirm. Will try and keep her calm. She has surgery to get through!

So many of you on here have got through so much and keep on going. I will direct her to the thread but don't think it's her thing.

Hm well if her medical team have said that then they may be basing it on something more scientific, sorry, I was assuming it was just a pre-op nurse. When I had my pre-op they seemed to have banished all the weirdest and most incompetent nurses to the pre-op unit, which was in a little portakabin at the end of a looong corridor

It just seems like a bit of a leap from one node being involved to lots of nodes being involved and tumours being elsewhere especially if they've already made a treatment plan based on only being stage 3. Hopefully the node removal and the MRI will show nothing else sinister :)

Even if it has spread beyond the breast, there are lots of things they can do nowadays. There are different types and combinations of chemo, there are hormone therapies if relevant, sometimes surgical options for metastases... all sorts of things :) so it really isn't all doom and gloom.

But, it's best to just work with the current diagnosis, rather than getting worrying about things that may or may not happen. Easier said than done for many people, but if you can distract your MIL in any way then it might help :)

Hi all,

Quick check in from me to say that my axilla lymph node was clear - yay! - so I'm all set to have mx, recon and sentinal node biopsies on Sept 30th. Hopefully no more nasties to be found, but we'll see.

Lovely BCN also had a look at the ct scan report of my pelvis as I had a few unanswered questions and that was reassuring. She really is a star as obviously gynae isn't her area so she didn't have to do that, but she could see I was fretting. In the NHS we are told that good patient care means going the extra mile and she really does do that.

Have been catching up with news. Speedy you asked about implants. I had immediate reconstruction with implant last year and am about to have the same thing again. It's a very individual choice but does sound like it might be a good option for you, particularly if you would need implants with the LD flap (back muscle) anyway. I'm very pleased with my existing one and not particularly concerned about having the second one done. I didn't have expanders as my breast was made slightly smaller (have gone from a 34D to a 34C/D so hardly noticible) so once it was in, that was it. Recovery was straightforward though no arms above shoulder height for 6 weeks on strict instructions! If you've got any questions, feel free to ask, or PM me if you want to.

Foofoo Hope work is going ok. I felt as if I had a head full of cotton wool for quite a while, and can remember having conversations with colleagues, nodding and smiling and thinking 'I haven't got a clue what you are on about'! It got better....

Wee Fab news about your bone scan. Is the pain manageable? Hope your sis is doing ok.

Gerry So sorry to hear about your MIL. Does she have a breast care nurse? If so, she is likely to be a very good person to answer questions, make things understandable and provide support. I would encourage her to get in touch with the BCN. It sounds as if she is still waiting for results and a clear picture, which as you will have gathered, is a big strain and worrying is inevitable but I'm sure it will help knowing that you are there for her.

Angels Bit of a bugger about that one pesky node especially as you thought you were in the clear. Must have been very disappointing, but as you say, in the bigger picture, that is a good result. Rollercoaster indeed.

Blimey I've gone on! Will stop now. Waving at those i haven't mentioned.

Off to see MIL tomorrow - the one who asked me last year if my nipple would grow back and then waving dd off at the airport on Sunday

That's great marshy bet you will sleep well tonight

Fantastic news marshy, I'm so pleased to hear it.

Fab news marshy and thanks, I will ask you questions. She definitely was talking about expanders. At the moment I am a 34DD/E but would be happy to go smaller. I have a really nice dress that I can't quite get into .

Foo glad to know I will feel better soonish. No rads for me but will be just in time for op.

Wee good news about bone scan. Sorry to hear about your sister.

Malt hope work is still going well. I went out for a meal last night with work which was lovely as it was good to catch up.

Off out today. When this all started I went to the seaside with a friend (somewhere I'd never been) so today we are going back as an end to the chemo. I won't be able to walk as far but am looking forward to it. May need a nap in the car! Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi all I haven't caught up properly yet...

Speedy, I had an expandable implant done at the same time as my mx and it has been fine. Having said that I haven't had chemo or rads yet so I don,to know how the latter might affect it. The only thing at the moment is that the expander port is rubbing on my bra a bit which is slightly uncomfortable. My surgen will see me again post chemo and rads to adjust it a bit more, build me a new nipple if I want one and possibly lift the other 'good' breast so they are more aligned. PM me if you want to ask other questions.

Gerry, I wanted to share my situation. I had a mx on one side and 13 nodes removed in surgery of which 12 had cancer cells. I also have very small margins. Of course, I am terrified that this means it will spread BUT I have also had CT scans and bone scans and MRI scans and there is no sign of metastasis, so I remain at stage 3 and not stage 4. Even though obviously the situation is not ideal (understatement) it is treatable. I have yet to meet my oncologist and start chemo but when I saw my surgeon last week she said that the only difference to my treatment now is that the chemo drugs I will get will be the really hardcore ones to decisively 'mop up' (her words) any cancer cells still floating around. This stage of testing and waiting is the absolute worst and I really feel for all of you, but what others have said on here is correct: once they know what they're dealing wi they will throw everything at it. My BCN is still talking about a year of treatment, about getting better, about coming out the other side. I am hanging onto the positives when I can. For you and your family, this is very hard stuff.

Great post elporto

Thanks for good wishes all. Malt I slept like a log wine helped Mrs I knew you'd be looking out for my news. Speedy the beach sounds great. Couldn't be further from the sea here unfortunately.

I'm in an oasis of relative peace and calm at the moment with the prospect of a week off work to regroup before my op.

What should I be doing do you think?

Hello everyone. Lots of good results and progress in terms of treatment which is fantastic to hear.
myangel, upsetting for you about that one pesky node, particularly if you were hoping to get away without chemo. Not something anyone would wish on a friend but as everyone says, doable, and you know that those chemicals will be doing their stuff across your body.
giraffe', I'm another who is a bit surprised about the wording to your MIL about cancer spreading. I think the majority of us have had multiple nodes involved but far less have metastasis diagnosed and unless something obvious would need some sort of scan to confirm a spread, do you think your MIL might have misunderstood? My CT scan showed suspect findings on both my liver and lungs and I am still waiting on an MRI for more information, but even with this and my psychematic secondary symptoms (irritating cough, I am looking at you ) my onc team are very reassuring that they are not expecting a spread. I had 5 affected nodes.
marshy glad your node was clear for your DCIS, I was thinking if it wasn't I would ask for my DCIS side to be checked out as as far as I know , it never was.
speedy so glad for you that chemo is all under your belt and hope you feel better soon. I like the idea of top and tailing your treatment with a walk in the beach.
That will be me in a couple of weeks. I have felt less unwell this cycle but the cumulative exhaustion is really catching up with me. Also got ulcers for the first time this cycle. I had been following the advice on here (possibly amber) to sip iced water during chemo, forgot this time round so that might be why.
Still unsure due to rads 30 years ago, if I will be allowed rads again this time round - I'm happy for anything they can throw at me. I've already had my BMX, anybody who had that before other treatment - how long after everything finished did you get recon op?
My Mum has continued to make extraordinary progress, all of a sudden she has gone fron no RHSmovement to shuffling along with a Zimmer. Reading writing and speech all also improving. Home today for a couple of hours before discharge on Wednesday. It is going to be tough for a while but the future looks a lot less bleak.
My birthday tomorrow, a bit tired to do much but lunch out and Dowton Abbey in the evening and that is me sorted!

Thanks elporto. Will ask when I think of stuff.

Buns- definitely know what you mean about the cumulative tiredness. Really glad to hear about your mum. She is doing so well. Hope you have a lovely birthday tomorrow.

I had a lovely time at the beach, although I should have thought about the climb back up! Had to make lots of stops as out of breath and legs about to fall off! Worth it though. Expect it will be a quiet day tomorrow.

Morning all lovely sunny day here, think so anyway not up yet !

Happy birthday buns hope you have a lovely day and glad to hear about your mum

Marshy I think you should spend your week before your op doing whatever makes you happy, lunches out ? Shopping ? Coffee with friends ? Others might say stock the freezer and clean the house but sod that !

Speedy after making a huge fuss about moving to key stage 2 I'm really enjoying it. Lots to learn but have lovely small class of fab children so that helps

Happy Birthday Buns - we are birthday twins!

Happy Birthday Wee :)

Glad you are enjoying it malt. Am meeting with my head later this week to talk about doing some work at home before my op so that my half pay kicks in later. He has been really great and says not to worry if I have to change anything depending on how I feel.

Happy birthday buns and wee.

Happy birthday wee and buns! Hope the sun is shining for you both and you've had a great day.

We are having a pretty up and down weekend, I have very niggly pain in my pelvis / coccyx which is driving me crazy with worry but until I see my onc on Thurs or (hopefully) have an MRI in the coming week, I won't know any more. They have checked me over so thoroughly but it was 6 weeks ago now so of course in my head that means there has been time for the cancer to spread Sometimes I hate my brain, was up this morning at 5am, it's so exhausting. DH keeps telling me not to worry about it, but I can do little else. I have decided not to go into the office between now and chemo starting as although physically OK, mentally I am a basket case, so am going to try and fill up the next week with fun stuff to do to occupy myself.

Afternoon all and happy birthday to wee and buns!

Malt I like your thinking about my week off I may be required to do a little light tidying going round the room with a giant bin bag in dds room as she left it this morning looking like Primark in the sales. I will have to sleep in there on return from hospital to avoid dh becoming entangled in the dratted drain so I need to be able to get to the bed!

I'm going to think of nice things to do for the rest of the week and I think it's a great idea for you to do that too elporto. You have my absolute sympathies re the niggling pains. It's probably nothing but I hope you don't have to wait too long for further proof of that.

We have just got home from a long day taking dd to Gatwick, picking up a uni friend on the way who also wanted to wave her goodbye. Quite a few tears from us all at the departure gate but she should have arrived by now and hopefully too taken up with her new adventure to be missing us. I haven't gone into her bedroom yet though.....

Hugs for all