Tamoxigang thread 50 with summer sun, sangria and maybe even some sand

[foofooyeah]

Welcome to thread 50 .... Yes FIFTY.
Lots of us are rising 50 so rather apt!

Yes difficultpickle was possibly going to be in for months wasn't she? Hopefully we will hear from her when she gets home. It must be so boring being stuck in for that long, hopefully she has lots of DVDs etc.

MyNewNormal was BishB yes. I think her last post was just before her next chemo cycle, the previous one hadn't gone well and she had lost lots of weight, and it was over a month ago I think. Hopefully she's just too busy getting on with real life :)

elporto have a brilliant holiday and enjoy your break from MN. I've been on holiday this week, just in UK, and didn't check in on here or Facebook very frequently, it was nice to have time away from it.

Have a wonderful holiday elporto.

Hi everyone. I'm doing ok thanks. Was having a good morninh until a "thinking of you" card came in the post. It just made me cry to be honest (not happily either, angrily more than anything else), an then I stupidly read the thread in AIBU about £90k being a small price to pay to extend someone's life, but most posters disagreeing saying they don't think it's worth it at all. I hope to god none of them are ever in my situ (and that of many of you lovely ladies).

Generally speaking I'm fine - thanks for thinking of me. My wound is finally healing well (end is in sight, hurray!) and I have many more positive days than not. This afternoon is destined to be a down moment I guess.

Elporto have a fab holiday!

Malt year3/4 is a bit different from reception but glad you are happy with it now. Am hoping I will go back to where I was but am the coordinator so hopefully I shouldn't get moved just yet. You never know though!

Am feeling really wiped out today. I just cannot shift the tiredness and ended up going back to bed this morning while boys played (feel bad as did intend to go out today). Am sure that although I felt worse the week after the first lot of tax I was better by now. I get my third lot next week And would like a few days of being able to do stuff. Does it get worse with each tax?

Hi to all and hoping everyone is feeling as good as possible today. Reading this thread shows me how strong everyone is, coping with everything - I feel a bit of a fraud - so recently diagnosed with no treatment planned for another 3 and a bit weeks - I feel completely normal. I had to remind myself why my Mum was telling me to look after myself as she headed off on holiday earlier...is it possible to forget that I have cancer? For the moment, I suppose, now and then - but I'm sorry, I know there will be time when its all I can think of...

Am wondering about the practicalities of the mastectomy on 4th Sept. What is the best thing to wear, in hospital and afterwards - pyjamas that button up the front, not things that need to my raise arms to get into? Am I over thinking this? I only have a few days once I get back from holiday and if I need new PJs, thought I better get organised (and have an excuse for shopping!)
Any other surgery and recovery tips welcome, if you have any, thanks.

Hi angels

I haven't had surgery yet but someone will be along with good advice soon. It is a strange feeling when you first get diagnosed as you do feel well and the waiting to get started seems a long time, although it isn't really. I just remember my BCN telling me not to worry as nothing was going to change/get worse in those few weeks. I have strong moments but I also have moments where everything falls apart a bit. It's ok to let yourself have those moments/days. I hope you can enjoy your holiday.

Hello all, we got back from a week in the Med yesterday. It was very hot and I spent quite a bit of time in the shade and the rest with a white cloth over my rads burn to protect it from the sun. The horrible pain I had from the rads has largely subsided to a dull ache, unless I knock myself, when its still quite nasty. I've an oncologist appt in two weeks so I'll ask if this is normal when I go. On Tuesday the mirena is coming out, goodness knows what the effect of that will be, I'm hoping the tamoxifen will keep the periods at bay. I'm now about to enter a period of monitoring, with a mammogram next May. It feels very wierd to suddenly be set free. This has been a brief experience for me so far, lumpectomy and rads. I know I'm very lucky, no one else seems to have had this same treatment recently, but I've now got to adjust to the niggling voice constantly telling me it could all come back. I hope one day it won't be my first waking thought.

I haven't read the last weeks posts fully yet but I can see some new names, I hope you're feeling supported and getting your questions answered.

Buns, I'm pleased your mum has made some improvements, hope it continues.

Nelson, you seem to have had good news, you must be so relieved.

I hope it's ok to stick around for a while. I haven't joined any external support groups and this has kept me sane. I really want to know how you all progress.

Speedy I was also the coordinator but no longer so less stress at least

Mrs I'm glad you had a good holiday, you are welcome to stick around I finished treatment in march and no one has kicked me out yet !

Angels yes front fastening nightwear is a must, I had a lumpectomy so a but different but was home the same day. Do you know if you've got to stay in ?

Myangels, pyjamas that button at the front are really handy. Otherwise, my top tip for hospital is earplugs and eye mask.

Speedy, I had a different pattern for each lot of tax; it made it hard to plan. I think I had fewer clear days I could count on as time went by, but my best was actually number two. Hope it's an upwards trajectory for you from now on.

Beccajoh, good to hear you have more positive days than not.

Mrs, I've still got a bit of soreness from rads weeks after it's finished; just seems to take a while...

Angles - yes button front PJs - cool ones if possible as it does tend to be very hot in hospital. And you will probably come home with a drain in so a small cross body bag makes it easier to cart aroudf with you. I always take a tablet loaded with some sort of box set and headphones as struggle to sleep so just relax and watch.
Are you going to be in the new Southmead?

Thanks wren. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more energy.

Malt less stress sounds good .

Glad you had a good time away mrs. Hopefully the ache will go soon.

There has been a beautiful sunset tonight. Hope you all caught a glimpse.

Angels: I recommend a larger than usual, soft cup, no underwire bra which opens at the front with poppers. Not glam but very comfy

I am mning from singapore airport, trying to stay awake en route to hols

I didn't trice but I did see the poppies at the Tower of London they were beautiful hope all is well with you

Eloporto hope you are having a good journey

wren thank you for that, I really thought it was just me suffering with pain from rads. Even to the extent of wondering if they gave me too high a dose because the chances of pain are very underplayed.

elporto hi, hope you're doing ok on your journey, have a fantastic time.

hello all, some great tips for the surgery & hospital stay when I get to that stage, thank you!

MyAngels - I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a fraud - I had the same at work. I finished on Tuesday (Start Chemo next week), and felt like a complete slacker to be handing over my work for the next few weeks while I looked, felt & appeared fine! The last week has been completely surreal. I deliberately planned some fun family activities before I started Chemo but enjoyed my family days so much I completely forgot WHY I had arranged the outings. We will all have good & bad / on & off days...and that is fine (Or so I tell myself!!!).

Elporto - I hope you are having a lovely holiday!

I start Chemo tomorrow and am finding it really emotional. I have had a few tears today and yesterday. It isn't the physical that worries me but the emotional. The second the needle goes in, my journey will have started and there is no backing out....I am not sure that even makes sense (Because surely my journey started with the diagnosis?).

It doesn't help that I am being very, very short tempered with the kids and feeling guilty afterwards. My head is so full of cr@p that I can't cope with the constant 'mummy mummy mummy'

Angels you're not a fraud. There's no right way to feel. I felt that way throughout diagnosis, treatment etc. and I haven't felt differently since, to be honest. I only occasionally remember I've had cancer, despite posting here and all the ongoing side effects from treatment . Certainly there's never been a time when cancer has been my only thought. It doesn't have to be that way, we all deal with things differently so please don't feel like you are somehow doing it wrong if you don't feel a certain way :)

trice I think it was last night I saw a beautiful sunset. I had a week at the seaside last week and the sunrises and sunsets were stunning.

Now that my treatment is over (mid Jun), I usually forget that I've had cancer. And other than a few ropey days each chemo cycle, I felt 'well'. In fact, I felt like Super Woman sometimes on the steroids! (Had a brief period where I whizzed around the house tidying presses and drawers that hadn't seen the light of day with years! Unfortunately that phase didn't last long enough...)

I think it is important to plan times to enjoy yourself, especially when you are going through treatment. Some of the moms at my DDs school were brilliant support network for me. And some of my work colleagues also. We used to plan a few fun things to do each chemo, usually on my 'good' week. (And we have kept it some since I finished Rads, which is lovely.)

I also planned a few nice things to do with DH. Days away, etc.
So I always had something to look forward to.

For those of you at the start of the treatment journey, I strongly recommend this. Keeping your spirits up is half the battle.

angels yes, yes to earplugs, cool, front buttoning pyjamas and downloads and I would add wet wipes to the list. I was given a pretty bag for the drains when the BCN visited with my softies.
I absolutely second what mom says about chemo not ruling your life and enjoying the good weeks. And i was exactly the same on the steroids, the steam mop becomes my best friend. Obviously, we are all different and some of us have had a better time than others. I know poor old speedy has a really rough time with sickness but I don't get any. Once you have had one cycle you will know roughly what to expect each time and how to plan your life. For me I have very few SEs until the night of the second day. The first cycle I wasted those 2 days, waiting to feel pants, now as an experienced 3 cycles, I know to make the most of the steroid induced energy until the last moment.
I haven't posted for a couple of days as I had lent the iPad to my mum to catch up with the news in hospital. Her speech is coming along, but not much progress with her mobility or with her object recognition of reading. As a result her mood is really ole and following a mental health assessment she has been put under suicide watch. She has asked that I am the only member of the family to be told - a huge burden. I have selfishly asked her to promise me not to attempt anything until I am recovered - I think she took that on board. Hopefully by then she will have regained enough of her own faculties for life not to be so tough. Sorry to off load on you all. As you can all empathise with, despite being a pretty good distraction from my own situation it is a stress that I could really do without and which does concern me for my own recovery.

Buns. Thinking of you and your mum. That must be so hard for you to deal with. Hopefully she will continue to make progress.

Thanks for thinking of me and the sickness . It is much better with the tax and it seems to stay at a low level that I can ignore most of the time and don't need meds for. I think most people don't get it like this so for those approaching chemo you should hopefully be like mom and lots of others. Totally agree with doing nice things on your good days. I have enjoyed lots of tea shops and get togethers with friends. Tomorrow we are heading to the zoo.

I don't mean to ignore everyone else but I've only got a minute or so and just wanted to reply to briteside.

I know exactly how you are feeling as I start my chemo on weds (at Kingston hospital). Even though my 'journey' started nearly 7 weeks ago when I found the lump, it feels like it will start in earnest when the needle goes in on weds morning. I've been able to keep fairly upbeat so far, even laughing about the unrealness of it all but I'm sure I will have a bit of a wobble when the time comes.

Hope you get some sleep tonight. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Ho to everyone else, hope you're all doing okay and managed to have a good weekend despite the showers

Thanks minty, I really appreciate your thoughts. Glad to know I am not he only one - it certainly doesn't get easier, does it

Thanks mom buns and penguins for the advise regarding the planned days out and using the steroid-energy! I am off to research some fun days out then!!

I envy those of you who are able to forget about the cancer, I think about mine all the time. If I go somewhere nice I wonder if I'll ever see it again, when people talk about the future I wonder if I'll be here. Bet it pops into my head every hour at least

Briteside best of luck for your chemo today,hopefully you won't get too many side effects I was never sick and just felt grotty really. Tell us if you do get any though and someone will have been through the same and be able to help

Buns that is a hard situation to deal with, sending you love

Hope everyone's ok today, I'm back after a lovely weekend in London saw matilda which was amazing

Yup, I'm more like you Malt. Just too much in my thoughts still - but it was worse when I was ill with the treatment. I don't enjoy watching films as my mind gets busy and I feel trapped there. Opera, oddly, is okay, even though I cry buckets at the most ridiculous storylines.

Buns, very big hugs and warm thoughts for having to cope with your mum's distress as well as your treatment. I'm glad that the hospital has recognised her vulnerability. Is there any professional support that would help her?

I think the lead up to any new bit of treatment is really stressful, and nothing more than chemo as it is such an unknown. Good luck all of you facing it. Just remember that it is good strong stuff that does the job.

Oh and I meant to say that I envy you Matilda, Malt: fantastic musical.