agony/screaming in pain constipation TMI

[dobbysmum]

I was admitted to hospital a week ago today (Wednesday 4th June) with Pre eclampsia and had my son relieved by c section on Thursday 5th. He's a premature baby born at 33 weeks 5 days.

Right before the c section I was given a liquid to drink, the nurse said it was to settle my stomach, my husband tells me it was to stop my bowels working.
I was discharged from hospital on Saturday 8th June, the nurse gave me a stool softer buy with all the other medications I had to take, and info I had to get together I forgot to have it. It turns out I was supposed to be given some stool softening liquid to take home too which never happened.

Yesterday afternoon I felt I needed to go but only a tiny bit came out,like a tiny ball, later on another tiny bit came out but I really felt I needed to go, it just wasn't happening.

I went for my check up at the hospital last night and was given this liquid, its name escapes me, but its in a white bottle (NHS UK if that helps), I was desperate to go once I was home from hospital and sat down, my body was pushing naturally, I wasn't having to force it, and I wished it would have stopped because I was litterarlly gripping my husband screaming and crying out in pain, I've never been in so much agony, I imaging its what birth feels like only from a different "end" and with birth you have drugs and medical help!.

My husband rung the hospital and they told him to run me a bath which we tried, I had some orange juice, and I had 15ml of that liquid.

I managed to get to bed, although I've barely slept, I keep getting stomach pain and passing wind, but its still not happening and I'm having panic attacks every time I feel the need to go.

Has anyone got any similar stories, any reassurance at all?

I'm back at the hospital tonight for another check so I'm deffinately going to talk about it then, but I'm so frightens I'm going to tear myself in two! I'm home alone today as my husband needs to work, I'm terrified of being alone screaming in pain again, someone please help me.

The hospital have said I can have an enema but hubby says that would be horrific and I would need another hospital stay, again something that terrifies me, I never settled in Hosp and had panic attacks most all the time, which I'm prone to, and no matter how painful, trying to have my stools naturally would be best..

Sorry for the TMI

So nice to hear you sounding so positive.
And young Joshua sounds delish .

I think you make a fair point that it is really frightening for your DH to be helplessly standing by when you and his baby are not well - my DH and I have been there and done that at DS2's premature delivery by emCS at 31 weeks with following stay in NICU/SCBU. I do have an understanding where you are now.

However - you have had major surgery after having been pregnant, not him.
Of course he is tired and stressed and upset and coming to terms with his new role as a father. But so are you.

Please be very kind to yourself just now and insist that others are too. It is really physically and emotionally important that you don't overstretch yourself.
There really are only few other challenges as big as becoming parents together to test any partnership and your DH better buck up IMO.

Yes, it is tough on him. But also on you.
I wonder how much you have slept and how comfortable you have been recently? Early parenthood is hard and a huge adjustment and NOT a competition in misery.

Be there for each other, no point scoring, no demands, just be there.

I say that, but that's not how it panned out for us, we've had our ups and downs, but 17 years and 4 children later we are still trying to work it out….

Wishing you a restful night.

Morning dobby, hope you and DH have managed a good night's sleep. And for you -- congratulations on the safe arrival of Joshua.

He has been a bit of an arse hasn't he? but that's what stress and sleep deprivation does to new parents. He is v lucky to have your understanding of how stressful it is for him. My eldest was born in a horrific emergency situation, he was fine and so was I but the first few months were a roller coaster of emotions for DH and I.

I eventually got some counselling for PTSD and it made me realise we were both in shock and a fair but of DHs weird arsiness, (v gentle man, got v bossy) for want of a better word, was him trying to deal with it. DS and I are incredibly lucky to be here and DHs need for me to be on my feet, doing things, cleaning etc was about me being OK. He needed me to be well again and doing normal things because he could not cope with the emotions that flooded him if he thought otherwise.

I found taking arnica and zinc really helped with healing of ECS, spirulina powder in a berry smoothie was also good for rebuilding strength and I still use it at times of exhaustion, it peps me up. keeping a rolled towel next to me helped me get up from bed if I put it in the small of my back.

Hope you enjoy more cuddles today.

I took arnica as well

Hi guys, just thought I'd update you.
Firstly, the toilet issue seems to be all good in the 'hood now. So I feel so much better and happier :-)

I'm struggling with insomnia which is making me feel tired and headachey but the nurse wasn't worried, I also told her how anxious and teary I've been, again no concerns raised, she just said that was normal and to speak to my GP about my anxiety, which I was going to do anyway.

Me and hubby had a heart to heart and he's apologised and explained that it was just the exhaustion and stress making him behave so horribly, we've put it behind us now and he's been much better today after a good night sleep and coming home to a tidy house (courtesy of my mum and grandma).

Been to see Joshua tonight and he's doing good, he's put weight on, he was 3.5 pounds when he was born, now he's 3 pounds 9 :-)

I did his nappy change today, cleaned him and me and hubby changed his clothes together, I was struggling so we made a good team.

Also, when we got there he was crying, I was scared I wouldn't know how to settle him but as soon as he got a cuddle from his mummy he fell back to sleep, it felt so lovely, and I hope that means he's beginning to understand that I am his mum :-)

How fantastic!!! Soon you'll take him home and have nothing but cuddles

You're DH will be getting a lot more tired in the future... I hope he learns to cope better but I'm sure he will and he'll carry on being as supportive as he was at the start!

So so happy for you and your fantastic news

How lovely

Lovely

Yay. I love a happy ending.

Thought about you today when I was sitting on the loo. Taking painkillers so very bunged up

Haha Well its nice to be thought of!

Great news OP!

Lovely to hear about Joshua responding so well to a cuddle from you.