agony/screaming in pain constipation TMI

[dobbysmum]

I was admitted to hospital a week ago today (Wednesday 4th June) with Pre eclampsia and had my son relieved by c section on Thursday 5th. He's a premature baby born at 33 weeks 5 days.

Right before the c section I was given a liquid to drink, the nurse said it was to settle my stomach, my husband tells me it was to stop my bowels working.
I was discharged from hospital on Saturday 8th June, the nurse gave me a stool softer buy with all the other medications I had to take, and info I had to get together I forgot to have it. It turns out I was supposed to be given some stool softening liquid to take home too which never happened.

Yesterday afternoon I felt I needed to go but only a tiny bit came out,like a tiny ball, later on another tiny bit came out but I really felt I needed to go, it just wasn't happening.

I went for my check up at the hospital last night and was given this liquid, its name escapes me, but its in a white bottle (NHS UK if that helps), I was desperate to go once I was home from hospital and sat down, my body was pushing naturally, I wasn't having to force it, and I wished it would have stopped because I was litterarlly gripping my husband screaming and crying out in pain, I've never been in so much agony, I imaging its what birth feels like only from a different "end" and with birth you have drugs and medical help!.

My husband rung the hospital and they told him to run me a bath which we tried, I had some orange juice, and I had 15ml of that liquid.

I managed to get to bed, although I've barely slept, I keep getting stomach pain and passing wind, but its still not happening and I'm having panic attacks every time I feel the need to go.

Has anyone got any similar stories, any reassurance at all?

I'm back at the hospital tonight for another check so I'm deffinately going to talk about it then, but I'm so frightens I'm going to tear myself in two! I'm home alone today as my husband needs to work, I'm terrified of being alone screaming in pain again, someone please help me.

The hospital have said I can have an enema but hubby says that would be horrific and I would need another hospital stay, again something that terrifies me, I never settled in Hosp and had panic attacks most all the time, which I'm prone to, and no matter how painful, trying to have my stools naturally would be best..

Sorry for the TMI

he asked you to carry the hoover downstairs? - sorry but what a wanker - he really doesn't get it at all does he?

And as for his priorities - if he wants your baby to be healthy and happy then helping you in your recovery so you are fully fit again is going to be the best thing for your baby too.

Can't believe how he is treating you - he needs a serious arse kicking

Honestly I would mention his complete lack of sympathy/empathy to the nurse tonight -she may have a stern word with him.

Midwife here. Firstly here's a hug (()) because you've had a very traumatic experience and are still unwell and in the early stages of recovery. So glad you are getting cuddles with Joshua because that is so important for you both.

Constipation...yes, keep taking the lactulose regularly and if you up the dose a bit it won't do any harm. The codeine will be making this worse so try to tail it off when you can. At this stage you should be doing very little other than light pottering about. Tonight at the hospital ask the midwife to give you some suppositories either there or to take home. You pop them in as high as you can reach with your index finger then lie down for as long as possible but ideally 15-20 minutes them you will most likely want to go. As above apply a little gentle pressure to one side of your perineum using loo roll. You should then have a good result. If not feeling quite finished repeat next day. Very safe and gentle.

I'm a bit concerned about people advising so much prune juice etc. the last thing you want is violent diarrhoea, it's just as bad. So yes, fibre and fluids but don't go mad.

I'm not commenting on your DH, if he has to work so be it. But I hope he does understand just what a physically and emotionally traumatic time you have had. Midwives are good at reminding forgetful partners about this kind of thing. You concentrate on the important stuff, that's you and baby. And tears are perfectly normal. Hope you've got other RL support and soon you'll all be home together.xx

Second kiwi fruit - I am told 2 a day will shift anything.

Grapes good too. Plenty fluids. Movicol, with plenty fluids

Glycerine suppositories rock! Available at Sainsbury, Tesco, Boots, local chemist. I had them for the first time after vaginal surgery last year. They really take the edge off the hard lumpy stuff and get it moving.

In hospital, I was given 2 and told to wait a minimum of 20 mins, if possible.

Sorry, just read the Hoover and towels bit. definitely time for the midwife to have a little 'chat'. He's behaving like an idiot. Speak to the mw tonight and ask her to say something. Seriously bad for you to be doing any of this. You cleaned up your own vomit? He needs a good kicking talking to.

Josh is safe, you should come first.

Carpets are replaceable.

When I had my first baby 30 years ago, I was kept in six days - for an uncomplicated vaginal birth. People having c-sections were kept in at least 10 days. You are only five days post op., you should be resting and being taken care of.

Don't let him bully you into lifting stuff, overdoing it etc. you will injure yourself. I'm glad you have your mum nearby to help out.

Hope you get help at the hospital tonight.

Do tell them how you feel and what is happening.

Rest if you can

Josh is in hospital and being cared for. YOU are still recovering from surgery and need to be cared for as well. Why does anyone need to be 1st or 2nd? You can both be priorities.

If he cares so much about the bloody carpet he can bloody well clean it himself. I'm sorry but he is really behaving appallingly. I hope the midwife can set him straight a bit.

:(
Poor you. Everyone else has given good advice as to what to eat & drink. I would recommend soft watery fruit like melon, peach, plums. Sipping water all through the day. It is very warm this week too. Sit, rest, sleep, walk a little when you can. But honestly, you've had major surgery and your body needs to heal. If you can take it easy, now, you should probably feel much better in a couple of weeks. And that's not even taking into account you've had Joshua early & he needs lots of care. Be really kind to yourself and know that it's only going to be like this for weeks, not years. I've had 2 sections and it is very tiring & bloody hormones make it emotional enough too. Good luck OP and remember your midwife is on your side xx

Thank you again, I will talk to them about how I'm feeling emotionally, I've told him its normal to feel upset after giving birth, even when its straight forward.
As for the sick thing this morning, he was yelling at me while I was actually being sick, I had tissue to my mouth and my natural reaction was to move it away and just throw up on the floor, he shouted because I'd got myself into such a state with crying! Then continued shouting as I threw up again.
That's when he said "right, I'm off to work. Can you bring the hoover down and are you going to ring your mum to hoover it up?".

Oh you poor thing :( I could cheerfully wallop your husband for being so unsupportive!

He sounds dreadful tbh.

I understand he has to work and that this was all unexpected but he needs to understand that he is being totally unreasonable. Why on earth should your mum clean it up? He was there! Admittedly my DH would prob nt have been able to clean it up without adding to it himself but he would have helped as much as possible.

I recommend Kiwi fruit etc. - I meant for when you have cleared current blockage to keep you 'regular'.

And his precious carpets might well have a few other stains once your DS is older!

I'm another one who says don't worry about having an enema. Giving an enema pre-birth was routine when I had my DCs many years ago and as well as meaning you don't poop when giving birth - don't know why they don't do it these days there really is nothing to it and you will get instant relief once you have been. It will work within half an hour at most, possibly within minutes.

I can see why your DH is postponing his paternity leave, but you are post operative and need help to convalesce! He does realise that a cs is major surgery does he?

I think they rely on your natural enema response to labour - it was always the first sign that things were getting serious for me. The first time was ok, but the second was a bit messy . Still, I had had to get off the loo to talk to the 'senior midwife' on the phone as they would not let me into the hospital until 9am. Better than having twins on the bathroom floor.

Oh, you poor thing, your husband is being such an arsehole :(

He does realise that, with a baby in the house, that white carpet is a goner, anyhow, doesn't he?

BTW, with all the nonsense about tubes, I suspect he was thinking about colonic irrigation. I had a small enema before I had DS1 because I hadn't been for a couple of days and was uncomfortable. All it was was some liquid in a tiny syringe.

Your husband is being absolutely vile. Was he there when the doctor/nurse gave you your instructions about not lifting anything for the first dpfew weeks? If not, get your midwife to say it when you are both there.

As others have said, now you have a child, that white carpet is going to be wrecked in no time at all. He needs to grow up.

Right, we have progress :-) I just managed the toilet, it wasn't the most dignified thing in the world but a lot more came out, 3 bigger black ones (sorry again!), it feels like most has gone now, deffinately the stuff that was causing me all this pain.
I'm going to have a bath soon, once I've cooled down, but I'm just wondering if it will get easier now as that did seem the clear everything at the time, it doesn't feel like any big bitscare stuck now.

Obviously I'll speak to the nurse tonight and I don't want to get my hopes up but for now I feel so much better and it was a relief mentally and emotionally too.

You need a poo party!

I had to help poor DS1 shift a blockage the other week. It was reminiscent of a scene from one born every minute. He was a lot better once he got rid of the plug, though was still uncomfortable for a day or so.

I do, I felt like screaming from the rooftops, "I've had my poo!". :-D

I can still feel some there but at the time it deffinately felt it was all out.

The anxiety and blues lifted immediately too, I just hope that it will be easier next time, I'll keep on with the baths, softer, fruit juice etc I just hope that I feel well enough to visit Joshua tonight now and watch daddy clean up his big poos!!

Next time he has a go I think I need to remind him that this time last week I was at deaths door and he'd have been going to his wife's and his sons funerals this week had we not gone in to hospital, as I really wasn't going to as I thought I'd be OK and was too scared.

See if that puts his bloody carpet and towels into perspective!

Next time he has a go I think I need to remind him that this time last week I was at deaths door and he'd have been going to his wife's and his sons funerals this week had we not gone in to hospital, as I really wasn't going to as I thought I'd be OK and was too scared.

See if that puts his bloody carpet and towels into perspective!

Poor you, I thought I never wanted to poo again, the piles and constipation post birth were worse than the birth itself. It sorted itself out when I started drinking loads more water, using glycerine suppositories and Fybogel orange drink, which is ok if breastfeeding.

Also I know this is gross but if you get piles just pop the grapes back in before you poo it makes it less painful.