agony/screaming in pain constipation TMI

[dobbysmum]

I was admitted to hospital a week ago today (Wednesday 4th June) with Pre eclampsia and had my son relieved by c section on Thursday 5th. He's a premature baby born at 33 weeks 5 days.

Right before the c section I was given a liquid to drink, the nurse said it was to settle my stomach, my husband tells me it was to stop my bowels working.
I was discharged from hospital on Saturday 8th June, the nurse gave me a stool softer buy with all the other medications I had to take, and info I had to get together I forgot to have it. It turns out I was supposed to be given some stool softening liquid to take home too which never happened.

Yesterday afternoon I felt I needed to go but only a tiny bit came out,like a tiny ball, later on another tiny bit came out but I really felt I needed to go, it just wasn't happening.

I went for my check up at the hospital last night and was given this liquid, its name escapes me, but its in a white bottle (NHS UK if that helps), I was desperate to go once I was home from hospital and sat down, my body was pushing naturally, I wasn't having to force it, and I wished it would have stopped because I was litterarlly gripping my husband screaming and crying out in pain, I've never been in so much agony, I imaging its what birth feels like only from a different "end" and with birth you have drugs and medical help!.

My husband rung the hospital and they told him to run me a bath which we tried, I had some orange juice, and I had 15ml of that liquid.

I managed to get to bed, although I've barely slept, I keep getting stomach pain and passing wind, but its still not happening and I'm having panic attacks every time I feel the need to go.

Has anyone got any similar stories, any reassurance at all?

I'm back at the hospital tonight for another check so I'm deffinately going to talk about it then, but I'm so frightens I'm going to tear myself in two! I'm home alone today as my husband needs to work, I'm terrified of being alone screaming in pain again, someone please help me.

The hospital have said I can have an enema but hubby says that would be horrific and I would need another hospital stay, again something that terrifies me, I never settled in Hosp and had panic attacks most all the time, which I'm prone to, and no matter how painful, trying to have my stools naturally would be best..

Sorry for the TMI

PS prune juice made things loads worse for me.

Apologies for the graphic nature of this....

But get some surgical gloves from the pharmacy. Put a dollop of Vaseline on the end. Put your index finger gently inside your bottom and try and hook out some of the remaining firm balls if there are some in there. Go slow. Stop if anything feels uncomfortable.

OP, I'm very glad you've got rid of one shit in your life, but now it is time to work on your H.

He is being spectacularly unsupportive, and needs to get his act together. You deserve much better care from him.

Shouting at someone who is being sick is disgusting behaviour.

Congratulations on the birth of Joshua - I hope you get to take him home safe and well very soon.

Yay for poo!

Now for poo poo head husband!

Congratulations

When I had DS1, paternity leave was 'time off for nursing a sick relative' at DH's work. And that is what is needed

Hope everything else goes well too. You need plenty of rest before Joshua comes out of hospital

OP congrats

I had a 32 weeker and be was only in scbu for 3 weeks so be prepared and tell Dh to very everything ready NOW so you can be discharged as soon as they give baby the all clear.

My ds is a hulking great teenager now

Don't listen to your Dh, he is talking utter bollox, and isn't being very kind at ALL.

TALK TO YOUR MIDWIFE-you are high risk for pnd after being ill and now baby in scbu, they will want you to be truthful with them. BABIES AREN'T REMOVED BECAUSE MUM'S CRY, it's clear your Dh knows nothing about hormones after giving birth.

I second the suggestion of Vaseline and a surgical glove

MUMS not mum's-I was so cross I used an apostrophe

You can double the dose of Lactulose every 2 or 3 days if you don't have relief.
Don't stop it as soon as you have a 'normal' motion, but keep taking whatever amount keeps you going comfortably until you are off painmeds with codeine.
Use a foot stool to elevate your feet when you are on the toilet (those IKEA kids' ones are perfect )
Sit leaning back, not forward resting your elbows on your knees.
Yy to warm bath.
Drink lots, eat all bran, drink more, be as active as you can bear to be.

There is no drink to stop your bowels from working but all codeine/morphine type painkillers will slow you down.

And re enema: they are really not the end of the world; awkward, yes, but they relief is immense - don't listen to your DH !
Seriously consider a suppository or 2 - you can pop them in yourself, they don't hurt, and they will make the first large hard poo much, much less distressing.

Congratulations on your baby

Oh, look at me being all polite about your H - I had missed a few pages.

He is being horrible - ill-informed and unkind.

Hope you have some good RL support.

OP, I'm finding your posts about your husband very upsetting. He really does need a talking to.

You've just had major surgery and need time to recover. Do not underestimate how much you need looking after too. I did and it did me no good whatsoever.

Oh and you still have symptoms of our eclampsia even after you give birth apparently,I was monitored for 8 weeks afterwards, so you really need kindness and support atm. Is your Dh usually this over bearing?

Pre not our-bloody phone

Your husband is being a dick and he sounds cruel too. I used to have a husband like that. Shouted at me for not hoovering ten days after a ruptured uterus and ECCS. Please be careful to not make excuses for him. He has had no more or less stress that you and I don't hear you describing treating him like he treats you.

Console yourself with imagining what that carpet will look like once your baby starts being mobile and scattering food in his wake.

And tell him to STFU when he starts wittering on about a stupid bloody carpet.

I am probably projecting my old feelings all over your experience, sorry. But living with unkindness and cruelty (because he sounds cruel and harsh) is awful and I will never forget it.

Isn't it a relief when you finally poo, I'll shout from the rooftops for you as I know how scary it can be post op.

Only thing I would add is keep taking the lactulose if you are still on the pain killers, it will soften your stools and make life easier for you. Also when you sit on the toilet raise your feet up on a small stool, upturned bin, box it is a much more comfortable position.

I was feeling so cross about your DH's behaviour earlier, I forgot to say many congratulations on your lovely new baby

I hope you get on well at the hospital this evening.

I hope everything has gone well tonight

Congratulations on your little boy!
I so hope you can get the suppositories it's quite a gentle action, keep taking the lactulose, it will swell the stools but will make it so much easier for you to pass them.
Can you get the midwife and MIL to have a few words with DH, He's going to struggle a lot due to changes of your life, he sounds a control freak, I know it's been a traumatic time for all of you, he had the easier bit.
Hope you get some more cuddle time today with Joshua.
My twins were 4.8 and 4.14 six weeks early (due to my kidney stone)
I was able to bring them home on day ten. Enjoy the time you are able to see him and rest at all other times.
Lock DH in the shed if he carries on so unhelpfully, I'd suggest putting him under the patio but that's not wise after a section

Thank you again, I've needed support so much today, I was expecting may be 1 or 2 replies but this has been fantastic, I've found comfort reading every single one, whether its been in response to my toilet issues or me ranting about how upset I was with my husbands behaviour.

I was going to have a "chat" with him tonight about how vile he was, he knows this, but he's exhausted, so I've told him to get some sleep but we will still be having that chat.
He has apologised though and admitted he was horrible which is a start.

I had a good chat with 2 nurses earlier about how ill I've been today and about my panic attacks, they were very nice and reassuring, and even suggested what a few people here have, using a stool or a shoebox under my feet while on the toilet.

I had my blood pressure checked, I was expecting it to be high with all of todays stress but it was normal. I had a headache which worried me as that's how all this preeclepsia started, but the nurse said it was probably stress, so my plan is to get caught up on sleep and relax tomorrow with some daytime TV and nice hot baths.

I needed to go while we were at hospital, I got so panicky but it turned out OK, didn't hurt too much, and I got quite a lot out :-) I've never been so excited and happy about poos! ;-)

On that subject, hubby got to change Joshua's nappy for the first time tonight, my boy pood on his daddy's hand 3 times! ;-)

Joshua's doing really well again today, he hasn't been sick at all, and he had his blood took to test his Thyroid, the nurse said he was great and never cried, he's been asleep all day again, which he seems to do, but woke up when we were there, so we got some big cuddles while looking into his big blue eyes :-)

Another thing was, when we got there, he was wearing clothes! Its the first time he's been in clothes, he had a lovely blue sleepsuit on, miles too big but he looked adorable and so different, then they let us change him for bedtime into one of the sleep suits we bought him.

Stool

Glad Joshua is doing well and that your DH spent some quality time with him.

Such great news after such a stressful day for you! Mumsnet will always be here for you

Will you keep us updated on how you are both doing please?

Sounds like things are really on the up :)

I think you should focus on your own recovery and on your lovely baby, but it does sound like your husband is not really coping - hiding at work, shouting, making weird demands, it's probably getting on top of him too. Maybe he could go and see his own GP to talk about how he's feeling and any support he might need? I don't think you should have to do all the supporting right now.

Apologies haven't read through. Please try glycerine suppositories can buy at tesco etc or chemists

Of course I'll keep you all updated, I'm a mumsnet fan now :-)

I think its a good point about hubby, he's so stressed out, working long hours, rushing to hospital, spending the last week taking care of me, worrying about me and baby, and trying to keep on top of housework, all while sleep deprived.
I forget about how stressful it is for him too, I think the dads get overlooked.

My mums coming tomorrow to do some housework, so hopefully that will help.
He's also got his pillows back tonight, he's been so uncomfy in bed trying to sleep on one of those V pillows and cushions from the sofa because he gave me his bed pillows to prop me up, hopefully that will make a difference and he'll get more sleep.
I've been disturbing his sleep too because I've needed him to get me up for the toilet a lot in the night but I'm able to get myself manouvered out of bed now.

I know he sounds awful, and he was today, but he's also been fantasticly supportive too.

Hooray for poo!!

Keep up with the lactulose or speak to a health professional and see if there is anything else that is suitable and non habit forming. Lactulose gives me terribe wind - so I don't like it much!!

As well.as the codeine did they prescribe iron at all as that can also can cause constipation. I was given it after a section but once I was home the midwife suggested that I reduce the dose to every other day if it was causing problems.

Josh sounds like he is making good progress