agony/screaming in pain constipation TMI

[dobbysmum]

I was admitted to hospital a week ago today (Wednesday 4th June) with Pre eclampsia and had my son relieved by c section on Thursday 5th. He's a premature baby born at 33 weeks 5 days.

Right before the c section I was given a liquid to drink, the nurse said it was to settle my stomach, my husband tells me it was to stop my bowels working.
I was discharged from hospital on Saturday 8th June, the nurse gave me a stool softer buy with all the other medications I had to take, and info I had to get together I forgot to have it. It turns out I was supposed to be given some stool softening liquid to take home too which never happened.

Yesterday afternoon I felt I needed to go but only a tiny bit came out,like a tiny ball, later on another tiny bit came out but I really felt I needed to go, it just wasn't happening.

I went for my check up at the hospital last night and was given this liquid, its name escapes me, but its in a white bottle (NHS UK if that helps), I was desperate to go once I was home from hospital and sat down, my body was pushing naturally, I wasn't having to force it, and I wished it would have stopped because I was litterarlly gripping my husband screaming and crying out in pain, I've never been in so much agony, I imaging its what birth feels like only from a different "end" and with birth you have drugs and medical help!.

My husband rung the hospital and they told him to run me a bath which we tried, I had some orange juice, and I had 15ml of that liquid.

I managed to get to bed, although I've barely slept, I keep getting stomach pain and passing wind, but its still not happening and I'm having panic attacks every time I feel the need to go.

Has anyone got any similar stories, any reassurance at all?

I'm back at the hospital tonight for another check so I'm deffinately going to talk about it then, but I'm so frightens I'm going to tear myself in two! I'm home alone today as my husband needs to work, I'm terrified of being alone screaming in pain again, someone please help me.

The hospital have said I can have an enema but hubby says that would be horrific and I would need another hospital stay, again something that terrifies me, I never settled in Hosp and had panic attacks most all the time, which I'm prone to, and no matter how painful, trying to have my stools naturally would be best..

Sorry for the TMI

Is your Mum supportive? Can you ask her to come around and keep you company?

Your husband has a lot to day doesn't he?

1. In 10 years of nursing I've never heard of/ administered a medicine to "stop the bowels working". Occasionally abdominal surgery can "shock" the bowels and temporarily paralyse them but if you can pass wind this is not the case.

1. An enema does not require a hospital stay. District nurses can do them, or you can do it yourself with a prescription from your GP (if your currently slow moving I'd stick close to the loo ).

1. No one is going to take the baby away because your feeling emotional. Lots of women have "blues" 3-4 days following a straightforward birth. You have had a traumatic birth 6 weeks early, you are separated from your child and recovering from major surgery alone! Be kind to yourself.

Please confide in your GP / midwife for support. Drink plenty of fluids and eat lots of fruit. Enjoy your son when you are home together, and as soon as you feel better give your husband a well deserved kick in the arse!

On your lovely boy OP

dobbysmum, go to the drs and ask them to give you some laxido (maybe if you phone your midwife she might bring you some?) if this doesn't work you may need to go into hospital to get it sorted... they'll either give you an enema (it doesn't hurt) or they'll give you a suppository which will clear it really quickly.

You are entitled to be upset, your baby is in hospital without you anyone would be, and they are not going to stop you bringing your baby home.. its natural :) please speak to your midwife about how you are feeling.

I know it sounds awful but take some pain killers, put some gloves on and just have that poo. You are not likely to tear, the first poo will be the worst - you may need to manually evacuate it if it's partially coming out but after that first one it will be fine. And you are unlikely to have sot stay in hospital after an enema! Your DH is talking shite sorry

I had this after my cs too - it is a combo of the painkillers and anaesthetic. Do not make the mistake I did and use stimulant laxatives like senna - it gave me horrific cramps, against hard poo that wouldn't shift.

Your best bet is to get some glycerin suppositories and take movicol. The movicol may take a few days to kick in, but the glycerin suppositories will work from the right end and will soften everything.

You can get suppositories from supermarkets - I know sainsburys have them. If you can't get out, then maybe do an online order - you could probably get it for tomorrow, that way.

If you are able to manage on NSAIDs like Ibuprofen and paracetamol now with your cs, then do, codeine is very constipating. An anaesthetist I know calls it "a constipating agent with analgesic properties!" However it is still important to manage your pain so you stay mobile to prevent clots, so please only reduce pain relief if you can truly get away with it.

Can you get to your gp? Or even just get a phone consultation? They can leave a script at the desk for you for dh to pick up. If you still need pain relief they may be able to prescribe something different to try, and some better laxatives. I would suggest movicol (macrogol) and glycerin suppositories.

Just read you have vomited, please see your gp and tell them this. Severe constipation can cause what is effectively a bowel obstruction and this can cause vomiting. Plus it sounds like you could do with some support.

Your husband seems to have a lot to say about things. What does he do?

I had excatly the same thing. Pre-eclampsia, cs at 34 weeks, terrible constipation. I really sympathise as it was horrible and very uncomfortable. Are you taking codeine? Constipation is a well known side effect. What worked for me was stop taking the codeine, taking lactulose regularly and also something called fybrogel which is basically just fibre to help get things moving. I was given it in hospital and some to go home with but I think you might be able to get it over the counter.

OF COURSE you are emotional and teary. You have just had a baby, you have had to come home without him (I know how heart rending this is!), you are hormonal, you are in pain. Being emotional and crying is completely normal. Behaving as your husband has is not normal at all.

I cried all over the nurses in SCBU frequently. They were kind and reassuring. Nobody took my baby away! What a terrible thing to say to you! Please do tell your mw how you are feeling and ignore everything that comes out of your husband's mouth as it sounds like none of it is good. Am getting quite incensed on your behalf!

Your experience is not dissimilar to what we all go through. Having a baby is tough, midwives are there to help. We've all been there !

I had a cs but I always say I had my own birth experience with my first poo! Contractions, crying sweating in the bathroom all night while dp slept oblivious! Then having to deal with a refluxy baby the next day! Please get some support, people are there to help not judge you.

Codeine is extremely constipating, any way you could cut down on that? One dose a day has me struggling!

Enemas are not horrific - they are a great relief if you are constipated, and you certainly wouldn't need to stay in. I would go for any kind of relief you can get - ask at your appointment tonight what would be the best way to sort the constipation and take what is offered - you will startto feel a whole lot better once yourbody is functi oning normally again.

No one is going to take your baby away, it will not happen.

Your husband talks bollocks - I have no idea whether that is because he is ignorant, unhelpful or controlling (since he shouted at you about towels etc, when you are just post surgery, I would suspect controlling)

You need to go with your instincts of what feels right for you and your baby, and ignore your husband. If you feel you need medical help, or if you ever feel you baby does, then you go with your feelings and close your ears to your husbands scare tactics and general nonsense.

I also has a C-section early, at 28 weeks- hope your little one is doing well-how much does he weigh? is he breathing by himself?

I have to agree with pp- it doesn't sound like your husband is being particularly helpful.
I also had terrible constipation a few days after the op- I thought it was the anaesthetic too- not something given separately designed to make you not poo. I sat on it, literally...for a few days, and then told the nurses, I was still in the hospital at this point- they gave me something straight away, I pushed it up there myself and results were fairly quick and satisfying! it was so straight forward, please tell the nurses in the unit where your little boy is today-are you able to visit? or go back to the ward you were on. what after care is available for you?
Also agree with the toilet tissue pushed in the area when the time comes- it just helps to support the whole area and lessens the pain-good luck

Gosh OP. I do hope you get this sorted out soon. It's miserable isn't it.

If you really feel bad then do not hesitate to get medical attention. No one will think you are being daft.

Codeine is dreadful for causing constipation. Great painkiller but slows everything right down.

Eat fruit, apples, nectarines etc. Drink water.

Don't rule out an enema. I have had to have one or two recently prior to surgery in hospital and it's fine. Not painful - and after 10 or 15 minutes off I dashed to the loo. I think they are similar to the ones you can purchase from the pharmacy (a bottle with a nozzle, not dissimilar to a home hair colouring applicator!).

Thank you again x I will deffinately be asking about the enema.
I don't know if my husband is thinking of something else, but he said last night that its where they put a tube up your bottom and then its like the worst diareah ever, and you don't have time to go to the toilet, everything just gushes out. As an IBS sufferer, a diareah attack is something I dread, he also said I'd be in hospital for about 12 hours after.
But when I googled it came up the with barinum enema (?) Which said talked about an x ray and that you can go home within a few hours, so I don't know if there's another procedure he's thinking of, I think his grandad had something similar to the one he described, but everyone's reply here has sounded like bliss and easy compared to what I'm going through now.
I'll ring the ward in advance and let them know I'd like the help they offered and ask more about what will happen, i'll ask about upping the dosage of that softer too.
My husbands not home for another 6 hours but then I'll see if we can go straight up to the hospital then, he was hoping to finish early but of course its my fault he was late today because I needed him to buy fruit juice first.

To be fair, he has been incredibly supportive up until now, he's showered me, helped me to the toilet, cuddled me, slept at the hospital for the first 2 nights I was in high dependency, waited on me hand and foot, but he's sleep deprived too, working long hours and then rushing to get to see Josh in the evenings, I think everything's got on top of him too.

My mum popped round to sort some laundry out but i sent her home because I felt sick, and every time I feel the need to go to the loo or have wind I have a panic attack.

A barium enema is something completely different - it is a diagnostic test and not used for constipation.

I think you need to stop listening to your husband, he is an accountant. What is stopping you from talking things through with a healthcare professional such as a midwife or gp? They will explain your options (accurately) and won't force you into anything.

Sorry read the rest of your message , your plan sounds a good one!

I didn't see all these posts before so I'll write another reply too.

Joshua is doing well, he's out of the intensive care unit now and in a nursery, still being cared for with tube feeding and he's in an incubator, they let him out for cuddles yesterday without his "nest" as we call it, it meant I could hold him close and feel his skin against mine, I've never felt so happy :-) he's just beautiful and we are so in love with him.
We managed about an hour and a half cuddle time which is the longest we've ever had, at the moment its just us 2 and the nurses allowed contact with him, grandparents have seen him but they can't touch him.

I got to clean him and do his nappy for the first time yesterday, daddy's turn tonight so Ive told him to do a big poo for him! ;-)

When he first came out they helped him to breathe but only for a few minutes, he's been breathing on his own all the time which we weren't expecting, he's so tiny and weighed 3.5 pounds so he's a little fighter. He sleeps all day and never cries, which upsets me but the nurse said he will cry soon but he's just never hungry because he's tube fed every hour, he seems quite content. The nurse yesterday told us he's so good, he wiggles a lot but he's fine with needles and just let's them do what they need to do.

Going back to what people said about the birth being traumatic, and the lead up to it, it really was, I only found out after that had I not got checked out (I just thought I had a migraine) then we both would have died.

I couldn't see him for the first day as I was too ill so I had to rely on photos and videos of him, then when I did see him it was only for 5 minutes but I've gradually built up. Last night I think I was there 2 hours, wanted to stay longer but I wasn't well enough.

I just hope I feel up to seeing him tonight, we only live 10 minutes from the hospital, I told hubby he might just have to take me to my check up, bring me home, then go back to see baby, he shouted at me for that too, like I don't want to see him! He told me how much it lifts me to see him and have cuddles but if I'm physically unwell enough then i can't be there.

Codeine makes you constipated. The liquid you were given prior to your section was probably sodium citrate. Which helps with acid reflux. As you're lying reasonably flat during the section it stops the acid coming up

Just rung hospital, nurse was very reassuring and didn't seem worried. She said to go up as normal tonight and we can discuss everything there.
She also said I need to eat as I haven't today, and to eat green veg which we don't have in right now.
Do you think some baked beans would help? I had some for tea yesterday but then a few hours after that's when all the agony started, I might just have a chicken sandwich and orange juice for now. I'm just feeling so scared

I wouldn't eat the beans, no

Why is your husband shouting at you??? FFS he needs to sort himself out quickly. And realise he's not a doctor and shouldn't be telling you what to do.

Can you get your mum to go and get you some glycerine suppositories now? If she does and you manage to go you will feel so much better. And you will be in your own home and more relaxed. And as others have said if the pain from your section is subsiding try ibuprofen and paracetamol instead of the codeine.

Kiwi fruit and grapes can help constipation. Avoid eggs or bananas as they are 'binding'. Prunes are good apparently. I don't like them so hav never tried.

You also need to talk to your husband about shouting at you. It's not on. He isn't the oracle and doesn't know everything. He needs to support you not shout at you.

Your husband shouted at you for using towels and being sick? Honestly?

Oh his white carpet is his pride and joy :-\

He just rung me from work to see how I'm feeling, he's going to try and finish earlier today so we can go to hospital earlier.

He's mad at my mum now because, this morning I cleaned up where I'd been sick with carpet cleaner but he told me it needed hoovering, he asked if I could carry the hoover downstairs from the bedroom (ERM, NO!?!) and if not to ring my mum and get her to do it.
She came earlier to bring my medication and some shopping but she didn't hoover up like I asked so he's fuming with her now.

He said this morning his priorities have changed, Josh comes first, me 2nd, although it seems the carpet and towels come 2nd right now! :-\

I'm sorry, I'm having a right old rant today!

Thank you for bearing with me x