Tamoxigang New Year, New Thread, *46*

[BetsyBoop]

Hands round a for everyone.

Harriet, I think for me there have been good days and bad days. Getting to active treatment makes you feel you're doing something at least. And good results are easier to bear than bad ones - pretty obvious, that - but one somehow has to live with one's own reality whatever it is.

I'm not feeling much of a model this morning as I shouted at my poor DH last night for not beng able to take my mind away from a very grim run of thoughts about not seeing my children grow up. Poor man, he is doing so much and trying so hard. I'm just very frightened at the moment. We work so hard to keep it low key for the kids, but I need to offload it somewhere else other than on him.

mom - thanks for the update on tax, I start next wed so it's good to be aware of what might happen. I confess, I am worried about the tiredness as wee-est barra isn't sleeping through yet - she's 5 months tomorrow!
Harriet - I have good and not so good days. It's hard to dwell on things when you have a "mum life" to lead too.

momofTwo thanks for your post! Nice to know that the average seems to be a couple of days of the bone/muscle pain! That means by lunchtime today I'm through day one of the pain! I can't believe how uncomfortable it is, and how theres nothing that you can really do about it! I can't even eat properly as my jaw is so sore! So trying to drink lots, and eat sloppy food!

On a plus I survived Nursery/school drop off, and actually although it might of been slightly slower than normal, it was okay! But now I'm back at house I'm grumpy and sore and not sure what to do with myself!

Suddenly FEC seemed like a much more pleasurable experience! For me anyway!

Right I should try to get a few jobs done, before I have to pick up youngest! Xxx

really I asked my GP for stronger (perscription level) painkillers. However by time I collected the prescription the worst of the pain was gone, so I haven't used them yet. But I'll have them for next cycle.

Also, I didn't do this, but my chemo nurse said it really helps to take little walks. Weather was bad/too busy, etc. But others here have said it helps too.

I was feeling the way away about AC Vs Tax for the two days of bone ache too.

Gigs, how's it going on a lower dose?

Had to finish work early just feeling rubbish! Didn't really let them down because mum boss was back early to day! But feeling pathetic! I just wanted to be able to do my job, but I am aching so much!

I know I shouldn't give myself such a hard time! But I was so determined to get through this without letting it affect my work too much I don't want to let them down. But I couldn't last another two hours

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!!

really - you poor thing - make sure you take it easy for the rest of the day. I did find that the aches and tiredness could go as quickly as they appeared so fingers crossed for tomorrow for you.

Really I haven't worked since may! You're amazing for carrying on. Rest up and get an early night x

BTW Malt - in response to one of your earlier posts my eyebrows have been growing like mad - they fell out over Christmas but have grown so much I have already waxed them once and they now require some more attention - plus they are really dark.

My head hair is growing well (and thick) but I doubt it will ever be fast enough. It's starting to grow darker though which is good news.
Some other hair barely growing at all!! - which is wierd.

Good news on the hair front kitkat! I'm so pleased my eyelashes are back I really missed them. Eyebrows are growing back but patchy so I'm still filling them in. I'm fair but never used a pencil or anything on them before this, I wonder if I'll carry on once they're all back. I'm not sure.

Be kind to yourself Really. It is amazing that you are half way through chemo and still working, don't be hard on yourself for going home a couple of hours early. I too had one night of horrendous aches and pains, but they went within 24 hours, hopefully your one's will too.

Malt and KitKat, how many weeks past chemo are you both? I am finding the re-growth stories interesting. Although I have eyebrows and eyelashes, I have no doubt they are going to drop out. OH gave me a crew cut for Xmas as the hair on my head got too patchy for my liking.

Gigs - Happy Belated Birthday to Mini - hope you all had a wonderful day together yesterday. Do report back any exceptionally nutty conspiracy theories you come across, could do with a laugh!

Hello to everyone else. xx

Hello everyone. It has been suggested I pop along to say hi. I found a lump in my breast a couple of weeks ago I think (lose track with school starts) and then this evening found another in my armpit. I know it's likely to be nothing, but you can't help the worry, can you? My appointment is at the beginning of February. My mum and my gran were diagnosed in their late forties/early fifties, which is a bit older than me, but still. It's always in the back of my mind anyway.

I'm rambling now. Hello :)

Tiny - my last chemo was 27th November and my eyebrows fell out for christmas day and my eyelashes the week after. My eyebrows and lashes started to grow back immediately so were only really gone for a week or so - quite wierd really.

I did cold cap for my 3 FEC chemos and kept some hair but did not bother for Tax but some hair grew back so I never went bald. It's growing really fast now and is changing from grey/white back to brown-which is a relief!! My DD likes to rub it as it is so soft which is kind of sweet - she says I can't go out like that yet though!!

I don't want to worry you Paul, but I would get this checked out straight away. When you say you have an appointment in early February - is this with your GP, or have you been referred to a Breast Clinic?

Did you also get the chemo curls KitKat? Onc did mention that hair could come back grey, so it is good to hear that if it does, it doesn't necessarily mean that it will stay that way!

I am just about to sign off Paul, if you don't have a GP appointment till February, then you should think about getting an emergency one ASAP.

If you don't have a referral to the Breast Clinic till February, then go back to your GP and tell him that you now also have a lump in your armpit and that you would like to be fast tracked.

Good Luck.

Thanks :) I'll phone in the morning and brave the dragons.

Paul - I agree with tiny - with those symptoms you should be on the two week fasttrack route to the breast clinic. Fingers crossed it is nothing serious, but the waiting is awful so the sooner you are seen the better.

tiny - my hair was wavey before but no evidence to suggest it is more curly now - obviously i'm watching it like a hawk!!
I seem to spend my time at home inspecting hair growth and looking for implant drop!!

And Paul get your appt booked - I have nightmare dragons at my GP but even they will give urgent appts for breast lumps.

Paul, the waiting is horrible and here's my hand to hold...
And you weren't rambling

Dreading the day.
That's my cheery morning message.
The dentist, then Japanese water tortuture.

Going with my mum
Have the hairiest lower body known to man. Having myself waxed pre-op on Sunday. Didn't know I'd be having diagnostic humiliation tests today. Just adds to the joy!

Good luck goodness good that mum is going along for support, don't worry about a few hairs, I'm sure they've seen worse! Hope the day isn't too awful x

I've got the dentist too today, goodness (pre chemo filling), plus an oncologist trip. Glad your mum is going along to the water torture. On the waxing, I got my eyelashes dyed pre-op as I thought it would be good for morale, but underestimated the effect of deep black lashes against yellowish pallor. Awful.