Tamoxigang New Year, New Thread, *46*

[BetsyBoop]

Hands round a for everyone.

Harrie - Just noticed my link doesn't work, here it is again.

Anyone?!

Harrie - I will try the link one last time:

www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Breast/Aboutbreastcancer/Typesandrelatedconditions/Triplenegativebreastcancer.aspx

Like Wee, my cancer is also considered aggressive and the tumour large, so they are shrinking it through chemo first. I will then have surgery and radiotherapy. I hope to have my genetic testing results, so that I can decide how radical I want my surgery.

Honey - Sorry I don't know anything about laryngeal cancer. Did the surgeon tell you why he changed his mind and didn't remove the tumour?

Updating - A few ladies have had node clearance, I am sure they be along to advise shortly.

Web, didn't realise you had such an aggressive form of cancer. (Should keep my eyes open when reading). I hope you're not too scared (stupid, stupid thing to say) and ... here's my hand. Squeeze as hard as you like!

honey - I hope you can get some answers, but I'm not sure if there is anyone on here with experience of laryngeal cancer. For most folks on here it's breast cancer they are dealing with, with a few bowel cancers and soft tissue sarcomas thrown in for good measure. Did the surgeon give any indication why they didn't remove the lump as planned?

Sorry everyone I didnt realise this thread was for breast cancer. Im just so scared I can think of nothing else day and night. DF was in shock I think as he thought it was all done, he didnt ask any questions. Will just have to wait it out. I really admire you guys on here. You are so strong

updating - i had a bilateral mx with node clearance on the cancer side back in November. It's not too bad, the worst bit for me was the week with surgical drains, they are an evil necessity! Just make sure you do your exercises relgiously. (They should give you the info, but if not there is a leaflet on the breast cancer care site) The back of your arm may feel numb or as if someone has been sandpapering your skin, or if you are like me a mixture of the too. It's all supposed to settle down over a few months, mine is a lot better than it was. Also I'm assuming you are aware of the list of things to avoid to lessen the lymphodema risk?

tiny - glad you are feeling a bit better. Your tax experience sounds similar to mine, so If it helps I found taxes 2 & 3 a bit easier because, a) I knew what to expect, b) I had better pain relief, c) I had prophylactic antibiotics so I avoided getting an infection.

honey x-post - I didn't mean you had to go, just that no one may have the info you are after, we are still very good at hand holding though :)

Honey I can't help you either sorry but best wishes. I wonder if you start a new thread you might get more responses not that you're not welcome here

Tiny sorry to hear you've been poorly bless you

Updating you will only have the sentinel node removed and tested tomorrow won't you, then the others later if it's positive. I had full node clearance last month and it wasn't too bad, the drain is the worst though mine fell out so I only had it for 4 days! I hope you get some sleep tonight, have a last cup of tea just before midnight. We'll be thinking of you tomorrow x

I'm reading in bed with dh, were so romantic these days lol so night night all

Hi updating, I had lots of lymph nodes removed. Definite numbness/ tingling in that arm, and restricted movement that is improving dramatically with the physiotherapy - I hope you get good physio advice, otherwise I'm sure there'll be lots of advice online. It's not worth dreading, honestly.

honey, we may not know much about laryngeal cancer, but we do really understand the fear and the horrible waiting. Not knowing is very very tough, and your mind plays with the worse there is, although the outcome may in the end be completely fine. Macmillan cancer care can be a good source of support, and I think they have an advice/ chat line. Might be worth talking to them? Talking things through can just bring the temperature down. But very welcome to vent/ share on here.

Definitely second talking to Macmillan honey. Alternatively could ask to speak to surgical team.

My only thought was if lump is small or otherwise tricky to remove , they may want it balance removal v leaving if it is small or slow growing. My dm had cancerous lump removed at back of thrust/tonsils. It is major surgery with big recovery time ( I never thought of it before but ton of nerves etc there). Obviously not quite Same as your df but I would imagine that seeing if can avoid surgery ( either as slow growing or maybe using some targeted radiotherapy).

I know its horrendous but cancer is just a word like virus, it need not be terrible news. But hugs as the uncertainty while you wait to see what is going on and what will happen is horrid.

Feeling bit more alive than I did so hoping that is sign of recovery. Mini gig had a lovely birthday .

Happy birthday to minigig.

Hold fast all who are waiting for results. I hope they turn out to be less frightening than you think.

Happy birthday, Min!

A belated happy birthday to mini gig.

It's funny how you think you will be fine when you finish chemo. The cumulative effect seems to have hit me 20 days after finishing. Really tired (was in bed until midday yesterday and had post lunch snooze then back to bed at nine thirty) and now my hair is falling out! Thought I had got away with that but oh no, still got just enough covering but not sure for how much longer.

So not planning much okay, school run and coffee afterwards, plus maybe trip to see nurse to get dressing changed.

Morning all.

Good luck to those having treatment/surgery today.

Well I made it out of bed! I'm hoping that once I start work I might feel a bit more human! Feeling ROUGH!! But managing on Paracetemol and ibuprofen at the moment, so maybe I'm not as unlucky as some! Just need to try and stop feeling sorry for myself!

The skin on my arm is still red raw, and I don't see how it's going to get better, while I keep having to have the PICC line dressing changed! I HATE moaning, but I am really fed up with all this!

Anyway time to brighten up and put on that smile!

Hope everyone has a good day xxx

foo - I had the same effect as you after chemo and it took me by surprise - and I was fed up. My eyelashes & eyebrows fell out 5 weeks after last chemo and my DM did say it shows how much poison is still in you so no wonder you still feel rough. No advice other then it is normal so take it easy and in another few weeks you will be through it.

really - you are amazing to be up and at work after Tax on Friday - will you get chance for a rest when you have dropped your charges off?
I agree about your picc line - once it has gone red/sore it needs air on it to heal - no suggestions i'm afraid as mine was OK until the last week. Fingers crossed it recovers (I know how much it stings when cleaned if it is raw).

Glad mini had a lovely birthday gigs - hope you also enjoyed it and you managed to put your own painful memories of the time to the back of your mind.

I may feel tired and ever-so scared, but darn it I'm going to smell gooooooood today: putting on my bestest Jo Malone perfumes. World - smell me!

Thanks everyone for your kind words, they really help, may you all have a good day today whatever you are going through

I can smell you from here goodness .

But tired today as dropped painkiller dose (woo hoo as was a time when I was clock watching to next dose) but that always affects my sleep just after. So lazy day here,

It is odd how chemo (and radio to lesser degree) stay with you - my eyelashes already gone. I reckon it took 3 months to approach normal last time .

Right off to surf the loon threads- I am enjoying the conspiracy threads one. Who knew that Paul McCartney really died in the sixties and it has even a stand in ever since?

Hi and - no, I don't yet know my status or grade as the first biopsy only had some answers. So they did another biopsy on Friday with results this Friday. This makes more sense now if triple -ve in under 40s is more likely to be due to genetics I suppose they will want to see me if it turns out that's what I am.

I had a bad evening last night. I know I'm only 3 days into this and can't expect to feel brilliant but woke yesterday after such a good sleep and felt so bloody strong, rang some friends, did lots of cooking (this seems to be my stress reliever oddly since usually I hate cooking!). Then found a bad story on line which I wasn't even looking for but just stumbled across and it knocked me for six. I get it that I'm on a rollercoaster and through treatments my moods will be up and down but these initial days and weeks - does it get easier. Do the good strong times start to become longer lasting?

Also how do your DPs cope? Mine is being so utterly wonderful but what an awful strain on him. He's not like me with a load of girl friends to call on (although I'm not doing that yet, i'm sure i will in time).

I'm feeling a bit brighter today. Still a bit wobbly but no tears flying out! Didnt' sleep so well though so will probably be delicate later. Maybe that's my pattern for a while good night, bad night!

Hello to everyone I haven't met yet and hope honey that things don't turn out to be so bad.

that's a really helpful phrase. Cancer is just a word like virus. :)

teaches herself how to use bold properly!!

Morning everyone

Harriet does if get easier ? I'm not sure really I think you just learn to live with it a bit better. It is hard for partners too, mine gets all the bad days and nights while I put a brave face on for friends

Really you are doing well to be working on tax but don't overdo it will you ? Rest when you can

Gigs glad mini had a lovely birthday your girls are both so gorgeous. Enjoy the loon the loon threads let us know of any more good ones!

Foo foo I'm sorry about your hair I hope it stops falling out. My eyelashes are all back now and I have nearly all of my eyebrows. Hair is growing slowly, too slowly for me !

Goodness bet you smell lovely !

Love to everyone else

I'm out today with my friend, could quite easily stay in but dh thinks I need to go out more and he's probably right. Hops everyone has a good day

Since a few of us started Tax these past two week, I thought I'd give an update on where I'm at, one full week after my first Tax treatment.

The bone aching started on the second day after chemo and lasted probably two days, though I still feel twinges especially at night. I had more tiredness than with AC, but it wasn't extreme. It slowed me down though. Once the bone ache resided, I got tingles in my finger tips. Not painful, just a weird sensation.

I still had eyebrows and eye lashes going into Tax. Sparse, but with definite shape. I am now seeing bald patch in both eyebrows. I thought they might hang on in there, but is looking unlikely now.

I have white ridges in all finger nails. And one purple toe nail. I'm applying nail strengthener every 3 days or so. I have DD1 doing my toenails. Good practice for her!

Taste buds only went slightly off. I could still eat chocolate digestives on all days! But water and some foods still tasted off for a few days. With AC I had horrid taste in mouth and chocolate tasted vile. So an improvement.

Worst for me is that I can't sleep. Well, I try for an hour and then resort to sleeping tablet... I have form for very poor sleep on first week after chemo, but this is first cycle where I've medicated to sleep. I just can't relax when I feel achy bones or joints. I'm hoping to get back to normal sleep wise this week. Fingers crossed.

I'm hoping the worst of this cycle is behind me, and I can enjoy the next two weeks before I go through it all again. And only 3 more cycles to go, roll on end of March.