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Original poster

Smoking while Pregnant... (!!)

367 replies

Lornatoo · 25/07/2006 23:33

Hi Guys. Normally a lurker, wondering if anybody is out there....?
My friend (honest!)is 28 weeks pregnant with her 3rd. She's really worried about her small bump. Measured at 26 weeks with the MW. She also feels really small in comparison with the previous two. She smokes heavily, is not without common sence and is REALLY worried about her unborn baby.
Now, do I NEED to point out the obvious? is it necessary? Any other somkers out there? I just don't know if I should 'put the boot in' when I'm sure she knows the answer.......?

OP posts:
Pruni · 26/07/2006 12:30

Message withdrawn

fattiemumma · 26/07/2006 12:32

it is abuse because you are inflicting it on a chld....no BABY!

smoking is legal your right...but not for anyone under 16. give a 4 year old some B&H and see ho long it takes for SS to come and visit you.

to smoke whilst pregnant makes you selfish and ignorant. to then sya that she feeds them healthily is just ironic! why on earthw ould she be worried about what food she puts into them when she is perfetly happy to poisen them before they can even breath.

It is abuse because she is inflicting her behaviours on a child. its not illegal t look at porn but if you give it to a child it is. its not illegal for adults to do a lot of thing but if they enourage a child to do it then it is very very wrong and yes that constitutes abuse.

there is no defence in 2006 for any mother to continue smoking hilst pregnant. but what i find most aggrevating is the fact that she is apparantly feigning concern! how bloody dare she pretend to worry about its size when she happily puffs away

Pruni · 26/07/2006 12:33

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 26/07/2006 12:38

A woman who used to ride my bus to work was due 2 days after me. She'd puff a couple of cigarettes at the stop every morning.

She showed up in November - 7 weeks before the due date, w/no bump.

She'd had the baby.

Who was still in SCBU w/lung problems and other problems related to being 7 weeks premature and weighing 4lbs. at birth.

Squarer · 26/07/2006 12:38

You can be a nicotine addict and still worry about your children, unborn or otherwise though. I don't think it is mutually exclusive as it were

Squarer: ex nicotine numpty. Smoked for first few weeks of pregnancy, blissfully unaware...)

Northerner · 26/07/2006 12:41

Ok, Ok. I take the point about abuse not being ilegal. What I was trying to point out is that yes, it may be ignorant, selfish etc, but for some women who are addicted to nicotine it is not as simple to just give up beacuse they are pregnant. Same goes for women who are addicted to heroin/cocaine etc.

Whilst I agree it is not right, it's not as cut and dry as saying 'well just give up then'

hunkermunker · 26/07/2006 12:43

There's plenty of help out there and it is perfectly possible to go from heavy smoker to ex smoker in a click of the fingers if you want to.

I don't buy the poor little me addicted to ciggys and fretting about my babu line, I'm afraid.

fattiemumma · 26/07/2006 12:47

I am fully aware of the difficluties Heroin addicts have in giving up. but having to watch my nephew be born addicted to heroin and be born 5 weeks prem and then suffer the horrific pain of withdrawel i am sorry but NO! you do not give a shite about your child if you are not willing to give up. My sil was an addict. she had been an addict for years and yet she fell pregnant. her chidlren have had to witness all sorts of neglect and abuse because of her addcition...including time in care and having t discover a dead body in their kitchen! of course you will argue that Heroin and nicotine are different...of course they are.

BUT if your telling me that it is SOOO difficult to give up and that as an adult some women find it hard...how hard is it for a bloodt newborn to do it. because let me make one thing abundantly clear....if it is in YOUR body its in THEIR body. and the baby WILL be born addicted to it the same as you are.

it abslutly disguists me and i dont care who i upset

Squarer · 26/07/2006 12:49

Yes, it is perfectly possible - I did it
BUT, in my opinion it is a bit unfair to say that this person can not genuinely care about their unborn child because they still smoke...

fattiemumma · 26/07/2006 12:53

they dont care enough to stop.

if someone told me i had to give up both my legs in order for my child to be completly healthy i would.
thats how much i care about my kids.

and before anyone jumps in..no im not perfect..my dd had a fruit shit the other day.

flutterbee · 26/07/2006 16:19

OK so smoking whilst pg is classed as abuse by most mothers on this thread and not doing whilst pg makes you are better parent, so if we are going along those lines then anyone who let even a drop of alcohol pass their lips has abused their unborn child through this selfish act and is inferior to those that chose to show restraint whilst pg and not drink.

OK so we are all clear now are we.

PARP to the bloody lot of you 44444444

Blossomhill · 26/07/2006 16:34

Totally unacceptable IMO

If you cannot do something small like give up smoking for 9 months then I am gobsmacked.

Do you know something when I see a pg woman smoke I always visualise the baby inhaling it too

No I am not perfect but I wanted to give my babies the very best start in life!

Original poster
Lornatoo · 26/07/2006 17:34

Gosh we've got abuse of all sorts, including abusing one another.
I had no idea the responses, especially the heated ones that would come from asking for advise on whether to tell someone something or not (which was the original quest)
Hearing how venement some of you are embarreses me that I actually started this.
As you said Flutterbee, its turned into one of those "ooohhh all people who smoke are the scum of the earth killing their children evil bitches we hate you all and we are such better mother than you"
Think I'll sign off now and leave you all to it.
And yes btw. I will talk to her and believe it or not, she really isnt a BAD person.
Many thanks

OP posts:
flutterbee · 26/07/2006 17:40

Hope you got some help lorna before it went pear shaped, hope everything turns out well for your friend.

Oh and don't ever start a thread like this again on MN

Original poster
Lornatoo · 26/07/2006 17:45

Thanks Flutterbee

Lesson learned

OP posts:
MrsJohnCusack · 26/07/2006 18:36

oh lorna I think I made a sensible post somewhere in there!

I hope you can sort something out

Normanprice · 26/07/2006 18:47

I smoked whilst pregnant with both my children, The first was 'normal' delivery and baby, the second was admittied to scbu as she was small for dates and could not maintain her body temp. I will probably not read the posts after this as you will all shoot me down in flames but believe me you cannot make me feel any more guilty than I already do.
I could blame smoking on addiction, stress at work, home etc. I like your friend knew it was bad, knew I wasn't helping my baby and yet continued to smoke.
Ask your friend to go to her GP there are replacement products out there to help pregnant women. She like I knew whilst pregnant she has a small baby tell her to stop now or she will live with the guilt for ever.

Pruni · 26/07/2006 18:54

Message withdrawn

Normanprice · 26/07/2006 18:58

ps The smallness was put down to me being in a house fire and breathing in toxic smoke.
However smoking did not help my child and another few ounces might have made all the difference.
And it doesn't remove any guilt.

Original poster
Lornatoo · 26/07/2006 19:06

Thanks NormanPrice, for your honesty

OP posts:
Original poster
Lornatoo · 26/07/2006 19:08

Thanks Mrs JC
(love the name!!)

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 26/07/2006 20:42

Normanpeice - you are incredibly brave stepping forward with that...especially on this thread!

It is stories like yours that should be made inot adverts to be passed around to women who continue to smoke. sadly it often takes something to hapen within our own life for us to actually listen to what we arebeing told. i know so many who dont wear a seatbelt..until they see a car crash! then suddenly the advice seems to filter through.

i dont like these shock tactic adverts but sometimes it is the only way to get through to people.

Lornatoo - i apologise for going off on a witch hunt. sadly this is one subject very close to my heart (for the reasons mentioned in previous posts)
My advice for your friend is that you tell her in no uncertain terms that she IS harming her child. if she is worried abut its size then she knows exactly what she has to do. i would also invite her to come to the local neo natal unit...let her look at some of the premeture babies that are fighting for every breath they take...hopefully the reality will hit home.

chipmonkey · 26/07/2006 20:57

My dsis smoked while pregnant, baby was born at 37 weeks weighing 4lb 3 oz. TBH she had cut down on her smoking a lot while pg and it wasn't clear whether the baby's size was due to smoking but IMHO it was. She did know it was wrong, felt unable to stop and still hasn't managed to stop 13 yrs on. Dniece is now a healthy beautiful 13 year old and in all other ways dsis is probably a better mum than me but she really didn't give her dd the best start.

Caligula · 27/07/2006 07:15

Oh fgs smoking is naff and vile and stinky. OK it's highly addictive and I wouldn't condemn someone who is addicted who tries to give up when they're pregnant, but someone who doesn't even make the effort to cut down, but continues to smoke heavily, is deliberately and knowingly putting their child at risk. FFS, why is it smug and "I'm a better mother than you" to say so. It's a statement of fact, not a moral judgement.

mixedemotions123 · 27/07/2006 08:02

Lornatoo, for what its worth, I don't think you should be too hard on her. Yes of course it is wrong to smoke when pregnant. I gave up using the nicorette inhalater when pregnant with my first, which wasn't ideal, but better than smoking cigarettes. My baby was 9.5lbs when he was born, and very very rarely if ever has any chest infections. I consider myself lucky that i gave up when i did. At the end of the day, she is obviously quite a close friend of yours, and your concern proves how much you care. Don't state the obvious to her, try to support her as much as you can. Not all small babies are born to mothers who smoked during pregnancy, and she sounds as if she really needs a shoulder to lean on at the moment. Can I also say that working in a restaurant, when I see a pregnant woman getting slowly pi88ed, it makes me frown a bit but then I don't drink. Really I don't