Smoking while Pregnant... (!!)

[Lornatoo]

Hi Guys. Normally a lurker, wondering if anybody is out there....?
My friend (honest!)is 28 weeks pregnant with her 3rd. She's really worried about her small bump. Measured at 26 weeks with the MW. She also feels really small in comparison with the previous two. She smokes heavily, is not without common sence and is REALLY worried about her unborn baby.
Now, do I NEED to point out the obvious? is it necessary? Any other somkers out there? I just don't know if I should 'put the boot in' when I'm sure she knows the answer.......?

Well HELLO Everyone!!!!!!!!

Did I know what I started?! No idea!!!!
Thank you for all your comments, advice and of course abuse!!
Marmaladesun and Northerner. Thank you for your entertainment, ever thought of going on Ophrah? Jeremy Kyle?
Can't believe this got on Discussions of the day!

Just wish I had the courage to tell me friend (yeah, that one that is smoking whilst pregnant) so she could see everything I've achieved by asking one question... But maybe that would just be sticking the boot in too far, some of you have been very personal. And what friend would really chat about someone behind their back on a website??!

Thank you again to you all. I go on holiday tomorrow and am busy packing, so I'm sorry if I don't reply too much after this.
xx

Lornatoo...for what it's worth, I was going to offer your friend a free session to stop her smoking, in view of the fact that she is pregnant, if she was within reasonable travelling distance. However, in view of the fact that my posting is regarded as light entertainment I don't think I'll bother.

I'm so sorry you feel that way MS
I'm not going to enter into a slagging match as you seem to intend and enjoy.
I have so many replies to your remark, I'd rather keep to the point of the thread, it would be of more use, if not only to myself and my friend, but maybe others.

If she really is a friend Lornatoo, then you would tell her.

Smoking KILLS and it can have a devastating effect on a pregnancy.My next door neighbour smoked throughout her pregnancy while I was also pregnant. I told her what I thought, she did not like it and we fell out.She went on to have a sickly low birthweight baby and nearly bled to death while having him as her placenta had stopped working properly and came away.My baby died (another story) and she was wracked with guilt because she said "I realise now what could have happened and seeing you makes me feel so guilty for how selfish i have been"

Somebody else we know smoked during her two and had tiny babies both with asthma and struggling at school.

I will NEVER understand how people can watch somebody pregnant light up and say nothing. Would you ignore a child being abused?

The mind boggles

Tell her now.Pleasssssssssse

What gives you the right to tell a woman what to do though? Do you not think women know the risk?

i think some knowk but decide to ignore it or bury their head in the sand and think the bad things wont happen to them, they happen to other people.

some smokers obviously know the risks but dont giveup till someone hey knows dies from it then they think 'oh shit, maybe i should stop'

some peeps need a wake up call.

when ds was born and was ill in hosp, dh tore me from the cribside and took me outside for 10 mins fresh air.
he was three days old and i had not slept a wink since giving birth to him, constantly watching over him.
i look over to my right to see a woman, in nightie and dressing gown, puffing away like a maniac, about to drop, informing her friends she 'has gotta ave 1 last fag before the aneasthatist (sp) comes'

i seriously could have committed murder.
i did everything as i was supposed to and my baby was sick.
dh manhandled me back indoors swiftly.

and the lady who lives near my mum i mentioned has had the baby put in intensive care and they think the babe will die.

but thats ok, coz its like russian roulette.
if youre lucky, your baby will be ok.

right, ive said too much im sure so parpety parp!!

well well. what a pointless thread. Utterly unbelievable.

Hmm, what a lot can happen between visits to MN!

courtney88 - my point was that those things I listed aren't illegal (like smoking during pregnancy) but still child abuse - I was responding to someone who had said that it couldn't be abuse if it wasn't illegal.

Statistically, actually, the things I listed (i.e.) emotional abuse is the longest lasting and most damaging form of abuse. You say "serious abuse and the things listed are very different" - as an informed educator of child abuse, I beg to differ

What on earth was the point of your last post Marmaladesun?

It seems a very petulant post "I was going to help but now I won't because this thread has pissed me off."

Ridiculous.

No not ridiculous Caligula; my original point in posting was to offer my help; however, after being slated I then found myself defending what I do. Am I then supposed to still offer my help after that? I think not. The point was...some people need to realise that their actions have consequences. Ridiculous? How about a comment about Oprah or Jeremy Kyle? Now THAT'S ridiculous.

Marmaladesun, the person you were offering to help didn't slate you.

No Caligula, you are right. She didn't. But the person who originally posted did, and as she would be my point of contact I really don't feel like having anything to do with her. It's not me who's losing out here...I'm not after clients as I have a 3 month waiting list as it is, which is why I have not posted a link to my website or put any details on here. BUT I fell passionately about what I do, and I am very very good at it; I have a 95% success rate with smokers...100% in the last 6 months so the only reason I was going to offer was to help. No ulterior motive. But the childish remarks about trashy daytime chat shows have made me feel otherwise about offering.

Squishy_ good for you! doesn't make you right though!

1b1b- thats very unfair what you said! so because your baby was poorly, it should of happened to the woman outside having a ciggy!?

Saw a silly cow smoking whilst about eight months pregnant today - lit up as soon as she left tesco. Sickening.

i dont think what 1b1b has said is unfair.

she didnt say thats he wanted the smnokers abby to be ill. she just explained how hurt she felt seeing a woman who was so selfish about to give birth to a baby when she had been so carefull to offer her child a healthy start in life and yet he was unwell.

i think that is a perfectly normal reaction.

i am trying desperatly to stay away from this post...and the hilarious posts. i wold love to PARP except im still not entirely sure of the meaning or PARP??

I am amazed it is still rumbling on - this and the formula = junk debate going on are better than the telly.

I just love the word PARP so here goes PAAAAARRRRRRPPPPPP!!!

i didnt mean it should happen to her baby as its not the baby's fault it's mother's brain was not engaged, but it made me see red.
its just so typical!
thats all.

You're absolutely right, Courtney, doesn't mean I'm right at all. Good job my employers have some faith in me....

Marmalade fwiw I was quite take aback by the contempt which met your early posts. It did seem a bit extreme and I'm not at all surprised you've been upset by it.

I think there are some really nasty people on here. I have been a smoker on and off for years and I have three children . For me personally it is bloody hard to give up, yes maybe I have not got good will power but I have tried countless times.

Every time I have been pregnant I have gone to my midwife and been referred to help give up smoking. THANK GOD nobody I have met have got the same attitude that some of you lot have, it is shameful and embarrasing enough to say yes I am pregnant and yes I am smoking, it would be bloody terrifying if anybody who was trying to help me acted like you.

Maybe a bit more compassion and help rather than slagging off would be more productive

PAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP