*TAMOXIGANG* 43 *

[MaryAnnSingleton]

New thread !!

I never got any letters formally stating my diagnosis feels a bit left out
But I probably wouldn't have read them anyway . I'm a major Head In The Sand kinda gal !

Granny's for lunch today .
Then off to buy DD new school shoes
Yes , a month and a half is all it took for her to kill the last pair

Haven't seen Breaking Bad Weebarra , but I did watch The Big C .
That's what pre empted my Ugly Crying Fit this week .
But it did actually feel quite cathartic !

I have my pre op assessment in the morning. Can't imagine why I am shaking in my boots. They are only going to swab me and take my temperature.

Moishes Bagel are on radio 6 at the moment with Cerys. I bloody love them, saw them last year on a random night out and they were smokin'! Gypsy /jewish/folk/jazz style. They play violins very fast.

Morning all,

wishing you all a good day. Glad you had a good time last night malt and hope handbags is feeling a bit better. Thinking of everyone with procedures or results this week.

I'm all cosy in bed with the cat by my side and the radio on. It's pouring with rain outside, so I feel even cosier .

DH has gone off to see his mum for the day. Normally we would all go but he plans to have 'the conversation' about my current situation, and I know she will be upset, which I think will knock my fragile composure, so me and DS (16) are staying here. It will probably be good for them to have a bit of time together. I do feel sorry to burden her with my news.

We spent yesterday sorting out DDs bedroom which was pretty much untouched since she left for uni in September. It looks nice now, not too much different, but clean and tidy. We skyped her earlier in the week and she said that she wants to come home for a visit next weekend as her boyfriend and best friend will both be home from their respective unis, so she can see us all.

Normally I would have been delighted, but I get my SLNB results on Friday (the day she's coming home) and I was hoping to have a bit of time to get my head around the news before sharing it with her. She knows I will be having a mastectomy, but I've managed to play down all the 'what ifs' with both DD and DS so far.

I really should get up now.......see you all later

Hi all

So I promised myself that I WOULDN'T stress about tomorrow! I FAILED

I have tried telling myself that the surgeon can't really tell me anymore bad news?? Even IF the bone scan shows something, then they will still treat me the same way! Won't they!?

I have been VERY bad, I have been googling ALOT this weekend! Feel free to tell me how stupid that is I already know, and have already given myself a serious talking too!

I just want tomorrow over and done with. I am hoping that the nodes they removed were clear, but even if they weren't they are gone now so that must be a good thing.

I thought I would never feel as scared as I did when I went for my first results appointment. BUT I am soooooooo scared, it's ridiculous! Why am I assuming that things could be worse! Why am I sure that they will tell me more bad news!

I know nothing can change, whatever will be will be. So why am I wasting time worrying about it

SORRY moan over! I will leave you all to enjoy your Sunday. I plan on going out and keeping busy. Before another sleepness night tonight.

Xxxxxx

Really waiting is honestly the hardest part of all this .
I had the bone scans , MRIs , CTs etc at the beginning .
And the waiting is sooo bad .
What time is your apt ?

really huge hugs for you. I am never ever ever googling anything ever again. I hope you get the all clear tomorrow and I will be thinking about you.

I still feel rough today, but no-where near as bad as I did yesterday thanks to lovely Amber. I have been to a spinning class in order to take my mind off things - my spinning instructor (whom I've known for a little while as we always chat after the classes) told me yesterday that she is going to shave her hair off for charity when all mine falls out! Bless her. She is going to do it at the gym in order to raise as much money as possible. She is fab and I know she will definitely go through with it.

I have bone and CT scans tomorrow, scared scared scared, just like you Really.

It always takes me at least two days to recover from a Google. I still succumb occasionally. Dh says he shouldturn it off when I am left in the house alone.

I am currently enjoying pinterest platitudes. This mornings was "if you are taking two steps forward and one step back, it is not a disaster - it's a cha-cha".

When I am in a spin I clean out the fridge. It doesn't always make me feel better but it always means I end up with a clean fridge. You have my sympathy Really, Marshy and Handbags - this stuff is terrifying.

Really, good luck for you tomorrow.
If it helps, the odds of a good result for you for a grade 1 cancer and with it in your nodes are about 88% and for a grade 2 cancer and in the nodes it's 86%. So the grade wasn't going to make a big difference. Let us know what the scan says, but know that it really is just a routine. They are not expecting to find anything bracing. Have a

Thankyou ladies for the kind words.

My appointment is at 2 tomorrow! I have the dentist in the morning, at least that will use up some of the time.

I feel really pathetic, because DEEP down I know that things can't really get worse. The nodes whether they have cancer cells or not, are gone, and IF the bone scan shows anything. Then I will deal with it.

Just wish I could stop thinking about it for a bit. I'm hoping after tomorrow that I might have a week or two with No hospital appointments. So I can relax for a bit, before the next part of the journey begins. Although I suppose the sooner it starts the sooner it finishes.

trice I think your Dh is right. Think I need to get my bosses to switch google off, when I am home alone! The temptation is just too much.

HOPEFULLY by this time tomorrow, I will be back to tell you all that the appointment went okay and that I panicked and worried over nothing!

really, will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know I'm just at the beginning of this journey but I do understand how the waiting feels.
I'm writing this standing at the window of pil's house in the highlands, looking out at the Dornoch Firth. Beautiful.
No dolphins today, but maybe tomorrow...

Oh why, oh why, did I drink so much yesterday ? Sat down for lunch at 2 at drank steadily until we left the table at 8.30. I now feel really ill! Thank goodness I delayed my return to work until Tuesday!

Urrrgggh

good luck today really xx
Waiting for boiler man this morning...

Morning all
Good luck really x
Weebarra that view sounds beautiful
Foo foo sounds a good day to me !
MAS good luck with the boiler man

Good luck to anyone else with appointments today, I've just got my pre chemo blood test then going out with a friend for shopping and lunch
Half term here next week so my Facebook is full of everyone's holiday plans
Hope everyone has a good day

Good Luck from me too, Really.

MAS hope boiler man comes saying it's an easy (and cheap!) fix.

Hope the hangover's gone, foofoo.

Better go, should be working. Grey and rainy here. Hope it's not where you are. for all.

hi Malt - is that your last chemo you're preparing for?

Our half term is a week after yours so doesn't seem to be on the radar quite yet. It's DS's birthday in half-term so today I have to check out if his friends are going to be around (just a cinema trip planned).
Presumably by next half-term you'll be all done - so get planning your own holidays .

I've got my third chemo on Wednesday - one good thing about this weekly regime is that they get ticked off very quickly.

Had a nice weekend here with the in-laws. In fact DH got the dates wrong and they are staying until Tuesday pm which is nice for me.

Morning Smee grey here too not raining yet but expect it will
Kitkat glad you had a good weekend, chemo number 5 on Thursday so 1 more after that

Grey here too - but dry enough to go out for a walk I think.

Shame Malt - still 2 more is not too bad. How is your hair doing? So far none of mine has come out on the new chemo but I'm anticipating it will start soon.

And what about your nails? To be honest I'm more paranoid about losing nails then losing hair - on the advice of my nurse I put lots of moisturisor on mine but yet to see if that helps.

I haven't got much hair left now it's really really thin, don't really notice it coming out it must have done very gradually. My eyebrows have nearly gone too and my lashes have thinned but still look ok with mascara. My nails are ok, finger nails look a little brown but I'm keeping them covered with dark polish
Still got hairy legs and arms it's so weird !

yep - still got plenty of leg hair here too.

Still you won't actually have that much time before your hair starts to grow back so the cold cap has helped to come extent. Glad your nails are still OK - just painting mine now!

Morning everyone and unmumsnetty hugs all round to those who feel the need for one.

More surgery for me tomorrow, hopefully the last one on this side pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease !!!!!! It's my DS(will be 10) birthday tomorrow so hope to be home for him finishing school so I can make a big fuss of him.

Collected topsy with still crying eyes and we went out for breakfast on Friday for A lovely Ulster Fry - I told her she had needed a good cry !

Waving to HND and a huge hope it's your last one tomorrow. Will keep all crossed for that . What have you bought your DS for his birthday. 10's so exciting. Double figures and all that.

(((((hugs for Topsy))))) How's this week looking? Any brighter? xx

Malt/ Kitkat, I lost all my body hair. Was weird, though I didn't miss the underarm/ leg shaving one bit.