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smee · 09/10/2013 11:53

Waving back to Malt.

Lily last one (hopefully!) is good. Does seem cruel of them not to tell you if you'll need more. When will they let you know? Soon surely.

HerNextDoorAt21 · 09/10/2013 12:01

..... talking about annoying and none of you will know this man ..... I went on a first aid course yesterday all day and the presenter who was called Fred kept saying ALL DAY and i mean tens and tens of times .... "Understand that ? Clear as mud ?" I was seriously ready to deck him !!!! Think I need anger management .... lol

BetsyBoop · 09/10/2013 12:51

I really hope it is your last one Lily, we've had enough of tax now :)

Shootingatpigeons · 09/10/2013 13:02

GBBO has become an annoyathon for me, Kimberley is the only one I can like. To be fair I am guessing they have asked them to do a commentary on what they are doing but that can be mastery of the art of stating the bleeding obvious. "I am just putting the vegetables into my plot" or very patronising year 7 food tech). Christine (Anne Reid) takes to patronising like a duck to water, and entitled. Little Pigeons said she reminds her of those tetchy teachers who are nasty to everyone if anything goes wrong, because it is never their fault. Last night we were just braced for what Mary and Paul could dredge up to be positive about teacher's pet Ruby's leaning shack in a wasteland and of course they fell for her "poor me! it's so bad" and eulogised . Little pigeons wonders if she is anorexic though, she says all the ones she has known at school, have been cake obsessed, and manipulative. is it just my imagination but were not previous contestants not just more charming but also more talented and artistic?

And my chief pet hate is Claudia Winkleman because she presented a BBC prom we went to and where all the other presenters, Jonathan Ross was one, presented to the audience and were part of the fun, she just switched it on for the camera and then off again, a total fake....

I have just added a supplementary for JS, a bit more abrasive, but if she likes to be abrasive she should like that, surely?

Angry we all know how scary the first steps are in getting a dx but honestly we have had lots of people come on here in your position, and most then disappear again after it turns out all clear. The uncertainty is the scariest part, once you have certainty, even if it turns out it is, what, amber calls a bit rude, then you know there are treatments and you can get on with it.

Really what smee said about a ladder is a really good analogy but also people have different numbers of nodes, rungs on the ladder. they removed 20 from me but some people only have for eg 9 so you get the results as 1/20. There are also further local nodes, in your neck and chest wall, it showed up recently in a node in a friend's neck ten years after treatment but they were surprisingly relaxed, it was still a local recurrence and they focused on hormonal therapy and menopause (which they would probably have done originally if she was diagnosed now), no chemo . Chemo and hormone therapy are insurance, in case any cells remain after surgery. My odds 12 years ago were 60%, but with just surgery they would have been 50%. It does the biggest job of getting rid of the Cancer. Now I gather they realise that my menopause will have added considerably to my odds, much more than chemo.

How is our lovely Ruby?

Seems like we have a local gang, will have to find a convenient bus shelter (we have met in virtual bus shelters in the past with cheap retro drinks)

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 09/10/2013 14:14

Popping in very quickly to wave and say, touch wood, not feeling sick today! I will be back later but off to a meeting in a mo about helping out in a local school :) love to all especially those waiting for tests and results x

malteserzz · 09/10/2013 16:57

Ruby glad you don't feel sick and hope the meeting went well
Shooting I think when you see celebrities in real life you do get a true impression of how they are, saw Chris Evans at the good food show last year and he was fab very natural and funny but I didn't like Gino Decampo at all he was all over the women there, very lecherous

First day for ages I've not had a nap

Just got the mince out of the fridge to make chilli for tea and it went out of date on Monday would have chanced it if I wasn't on chemo but back to the drawing board now !

PictureThis · 09/10/2013 17:42

Xray was fine, the very lovely cons radiologist went through all my images with me afterwards. It transpires my portacath is on a bit of a tilt so the needle needs to go in on an angle. We're meeting again tomorrow with my chemo nurse in the angioplasty room so he can show her the right angle to approach it using the xray as the visual tool. I feel so much happier now. A London meet up in January is a definite Smee. It will probably be my only opportunity in a while to meet any of you seeing as I'm on the Isle of Man.
Penultimate chemo tomorrow

kitkat1967 · 09/10/2013 18:08

Evening all.
I slept through my chemo today (on advice of the nurse) which was easy to do due to the Piriton and other goodies given before the chemo. Last week I forced myself to stay awake as it felt rude to sleep with a visitor in the house but I have been told not to be so daft and they have loads of paperwork to complete anyway. The upshot is that I feel OK now - not too tired so should make it through the evening .

amberlight · 09/10/2013 18:38

Picture, mine was at a tilt too - the nurses had to feel for the top and use some cunning methods to access it. Glad it was doable.
KitKat, hurrah for not feeling too tired. But don't overdo it.
Ruby, hurrah also for not feeling sick today. Long may that last.
Tomorrow I am going by myself for the mammogram. I simply haven't reminded the people who would normally accompany me. Not sure why. I think it will all be OK as a procedure, since I know what they do, but if I end up hiding behind the curtain and refusing to come out, I'll be sure to take someone next time.

Marshy · 09/10/2013 19:19

Hi all,
Just saying hello as I haven't posted for a while though have been checking in regularly to keep up with everything - well, trying to as things move along quickly! Sometimes I just feel too upset and pathetic to post.

I follow all posts avidly as there are many things that resonate with me or cause me to stop and think. Particularly thinking of Ruby lately, with my own DD just trying to settle into uni, and of handbags - more of that later.

I was pleased to see that Gigs and Pigeons have contributed to the JS thread. I haven't read the article, though I think there was a link to it here as, I dunno, just couldn't quite face it, but I find it incredible that anyone could suggest that the attention in any way makes up for having cancer. I find that really offensive, so will be interested in what JS has to say. Hope it's something that can explain this, as I have always thought of her as a good egg. I have been touched by the kindness and attention of family, friends and HCPs but would do anything not to have to be on the receiving end of it.

For me, it's another waiting phase. I can see now that I was a bit over-optimistic in my highly excited post on the last thread when I got the clear result for my lymph node biopsy, for that weird one that was causing concern because it was swollen - they think now that it's because of my underlying arthritis and not cancer related.

That was a great result, but now I'm awaiting sentinel lymph node biopsy results, having had the op yesterday. She took 2 plus the swollen one. Results a week on Friday, so am now in the phase that Handbags was recently in, except that I am guaranteed a mastectomy come what may, and the same position that I guess probably all of you have been in at some point. It's horrible, isn't it.....

On the plus side, I no longer look like I'm awaiting an audition for the next twilight or avatar movie, as my fetching shade of blue skin has faded. The 'preventing lymphodema' leaflet made for uplifting reading. Have any of you had that?

Today I stayed in bed all morning, had a good cry, then got up, prepared dinner and went for a walk around the block in the sunshine.

Having a white wine spritzer now and sort of watching Hairy Bikers. Haven't felt like drinking at all since all this started - maybe this is progress.

Hope everyone has a good evening. See you tomorrow.

Marshy · 09/10/2013 19:31

Have just reminded myself that not everyone is here for breast cancer, so I guess not everyone has done the sentinel lymph node thing - sorry if my post was insensitive around that - I am a novice in all this and obviously very self absorbed!

trice · 09/10/2013 23:26

Don't worry Marshy, we understand about the waiting for results stress. It is horrible.

Glad you are feeling a bit brighter Ruby.

Good news about portacath Picture. I hope they manage to figure it out. I didn't realise you come from the isle of man. My dad is from Laxey and I have lots of family there. It is a lovely place to spend your summers as a child!

Lily, good luck with final chemo.

PictureThis · 09/10/2013 23:39

Laxey's beautiful Trice, I've lots of friends who live there, what a small world. Many people don't even know where the Island is.

BetsyBoop · 10/10/2013 00:21

wide awake club here, grr bloody steroids!

malteserzz · 10/10/2013 00:34

I'm awake too bit worried have been a bit itchy all day and now I'm in bed it's getting worse woke myself up scratching the top of my leg and there's a bit of a rash there

smee · 10/10/2013 00:42

Waving to Betsy! I'm awake too. In a hotel awaiting the joys of a 2 day conference starting at 9am. Brought a hot water bottle, so am propped up in bed all cosy, eating wispa bites and watching HIGNFY on Dave.

Kitkat, glad to hear you're through another chemo.

Picture hope chemo ok tomorrow. Penultimate deserves a yay!

Sorry to see you're in the waiting zone again, Marshy. Stick around and let us distract you.

Can we all go with you tomorrow, Amber? Much virtual hold handing from me. Doubt it'll help but will be thinking of you x

Don't savage JS tomorrow Gig and Pigeon. I reckon it was a moment of madness her saying that better bloody be

Better try and sleep. Hope you all are. Zzz xx

BetsyBoop · 10/10/2013 00:50

GP if it's still there in the morning malt although I think it's`way too late to be an allergic reaction to the tax now? Have you used anything different, shower gel, washing powder etc?

Don't get any wispa crumbs in the bed smee

Well I'm off for a lie down won't tempt fate and say sleep. Still this is the last round of evil steroids, can't wait for this time next week when I should hopefully be on the up. Woohoo!

BetsyBoop · 10/10/2013 00:52

Oh and I said it on FB, but I'll say it again here, good luck tomorrow for amber and mammo, nj and results, picture and lily for chemo :)

BetsyBoop · 10/10/2013 02:37

Argh, still not got to sleep. Worst wired-on-steroids ever...

I am honestly NOT that excited about my last chemo that it's keeping me awake!

I hop everyone else is sleeping soundly....

Shootingatpigeons · 10/10/2013 02:49

Betsy don't worry, you are not alone and no steroids involved here. Just the usual not getting to sleep, 4 hours 30 mins to the alarm! I don't usually let myself near screens as they are supposed to keep you awake but lying there was getting me nowhere. Hope you get to sleep soon. And at least hopefully this will be the last time. gigs recommends rock ballads for these occasions! there's the Rolling Stones "The Last Time" also the penis dunking thread is doubtless available for viewing!

kitkat1967 · 10/10/2013 04:19

Wide awake steroids here too.

Something funny for Betsy to hear though - so last I so pleased to have no nausea at all on my new weekly chemo - I had dutifully taken all the prescribed meds - turns out that they were to last 3 cycles as oncs prescribe differently on weekly regime. Ho hum - caused shocked look then much scrambling around for something to leave me for this week!! Had worked though .

kitkat1967 · 10/10/2013 04:23

Oh and Gigs - I am on the last Greys Anatomy episode (new series out at the start of November though) so will be starting Private Practice before I get up .

foofooyeah · 10/10/2013 05:34

Morning wide awake club. The reason I am awake is a lot more basic: too much wine last night. A friend is over from Italy so we had curry and a lot of wine. My head hurts.

Busy day today for tamoxifen gang.

My day will consist of walking and arguing with DP.

jchocchip · 10/10/2013 05:59

Good morning wide awake club! Hope you managed to get a bit of rest. Time for a . Virtual hand holding for todays appointments and I'll park my bum on the paranoia box in the meantime.

BetsyBoop · 10/10/2013 05:59

Well I eventually managed a couple of hours :( Bloods steroids, cant wait for you to be gone from my life.

Great no nausea kitkat, but taking three cycles worth of meds on cycle one ?

pigeons I had "the last time" going round my head when I couldn't sleep, proof I'm as mad as everyone else here? or is gigs practising mind control

'foofoo hopefully a good walk and no arguing :)