Hysterectomies - it's gotta be done but over here for hand holding

[Oddsocksrus]

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance
I guess I start..
My cervix is on the outside, it can't all hang where it should and no manner of pelvic floor exercises or devises will get it back there.
I'm 41, one fab dd and wanted more but there you are, can't now can I?

This thread, hopefully, will be for those waiting, recovering or supporting

It does sound a bit complicated.

I found the hystersisters website and stupidly read the cancer section. Had really convinced myself that having had it removed, and not needing the chemo, that, that was that. I'm now panicking that I was being optimistic. There is a reason that i will need three monthly check ups for a long time. I knew I had stayed away from google for a reason

Hopefully me thinking the worst, as I normally do. It is a good website by the way

I've had more insensitive comments today about 'doing nothing' in other words resting and getting well.
Why is there a popular misconception that hysterectomy is something you get over quickly? Even with other women. Gosh I feel hounded. It's bad enough to feel like your weight is going up because of having to rest without someone suggesting I should be exercising ( and I don't mean my pelvic floor)

HRT clearly not yet working properly as I'm tired and emotional

FFS what is wrong with people? A hysterectomy is a removal of a big organ and maybe other body parts, what do people expect you to do?
I was lucky that people around me saw it as a major operation and I didn't get any snide remarks apart from MIL but shes a cunt.

I shocked myself looking on the hystersisters forum, some of them were driving and returning to work after 10 days! Mostly because they weren't getting paid and their families expected them to.

Gah I don't know Coco. Have taken the strunts and am feckin off to bed where no one can annoy me.
Just me, a shite magazine and a cat.

Grrr

I think some of the problem is because people think it's no more difficult to recover from than a C Section. I didn't have one of those but I do know it's a bigger op and people who have it are generally older and don't have those 'repair and protect' hormones whizzing round.

Though I could be talking out of my arse there.

I was and a friend who'd had one and said oh you'll be driving by the end of next week. That may be how she remembers her recovery but I remember it rather differently.

It used to be you were in hospital for two weeks, now you get kicked out after two days. Maybe people think if you're allowed out of hospital you must be ok.

If say its a combination of those things.
I am listening to my body. Which is creaking, tired and sore.
Night night

I hope you're feeling a bit more chipper today Cremola

Was it lack of Friday night wine that tipped you over or just general fed upness?

Might have been, I'm saying nothing

Finally finish the antibiotics today.
Think I'll have a pamper day
Long bath
Get the old hair properly dried
Find some decent clothes
Make an effort

Hope it works for you cremo.

Ds2 (5) is getting worried about me going into hospital. He asked about it when I went for my pre-op and now keeps asking how long I will be away for. Although only 5 he knows I work in the hospital as does DH and knows that the doctors make people better so is concerned there is something wrong with me.

I just want it to be over now

Aw fled I'm sure you do. And poor wee mite ds. I'd say he only has to be without you for 1 sleep and he can come up to the hospital on day 2 when you will look a bit less ragged.
Is compare it to mummy being fixed' rather than being ill.

Cremo - we've prob been too open about our jobs which is what's worrying DS2 (DH works in the mortuary). DH will pick them up from school early on day 2 so they get to spend the full visiting with me. Ds1 (6) won't bother his backside as long as hes got his Lego - plus he's a daddy's boy so will love DH being around for school runs. Ds2 is much more my baby hating my doing shifts and wanting to know if I will be there when he wakes up.

On day 3 post op ds1 has a party which my pals are organising all the logistics for him so ds2 can come to visiting and I think will stay the night with my best friend who he adores. No family locally so very reliant on my wonderful friends.

Going into town next week to treat myself to new pjs/nighshirt instead of my ancient stuff

Fled you are much more organised than you think. Sounds like ds2 will have a lovely time at sleepover party.
New pjs are a must. I am a new convert to nighties and BHS has some passable ones.
I got a couple of pairs a of big cotton pants that go up over wound- purely for comfort too

Fled when I left my DSs when they were little (away for work) I gace thm a little teddy with pic of me and each one of them tied on to it. I explained that I would be away for x sleeps and that teddy would pas my cuddles to them and their cuddles to me. I also told them I would speak to them every day. It worked very well. Sometimes little ones cope better than bigger ones. When DH went away when DS3 was 10 he cried so hard when he couldn't show DH his new shoes that I had to change his sopping wet t shirt when we got home [sob]

Seconding Cremola's use of the word fixed - like a car.

My very soft stretchy pj bottoms from m+s have been better than trackie bottoms for around the house and they do nice long button up night shrits too - usedful for the catheter.

Thanks letsface. I suspect ds2 will sleep on my side of our bed with his toy cat (a wolf we got him years ago and is his greatest comforter). I feel I'm on the huge countdown now. FIL had a fall yesterday and was very upset about how he was going to manage whilst I am "out of action". Is carers and his son was my response to only be told he needs me. Feel overwhelmed by own emotions let alone those of DC and FIL.

Ach Fled people are unbelievable .
Sounds like your FIL isn't quite getting the point. I would limit access to people who are drains and certainly avoid them as much as you can. This is the absolute one time in your life when it IS all about you.
Pick out supportive types from your friends and family to help. You are allowed to ask them for help.

I have had similar nonsense from my mother who only deigns to call when it suits her. Three times out of five I've been asleep and she has winged that I'm being lazy.
Needless to say I have limited contAct to phone calls as she was not helping me on any level.
Ion the upside people can surprise you- a friend of dh's has called twice with a tray of veg from his allotment
Completely out of the blue. What a star!

In reality all you need is a bit of peace and kindness.

www.hysterectomy-association.org.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=15957

Fled it might be time to emphasise to your family that this is actually a big op. Maybe keep saying how much time you have to have off work because you will need that long a time to recover.

Maybe get your DH to read this link that has mysteriously apperared at the top instead of where I want it.

Thanks very much for that link Lftmad .
It has explained my zeppelin like belly very well. I was beginning to despair if the swollen nature of my tum given that the surgeon whipped out what he described as the size if a pineapple . I was beginning to wonder if there were exercises I could go for it, but apparently rest and being off ones feet is the best.
My tum definitely expands during the day and by evening is a balloon .
Commonly known as swelly belly.
Ha who knew!

How's everyone today?

I've been busy making Xmas cakes x 6 for various friends and family. I read about the bloatedness and made notes to buy another pair of leggings.

DH read the link posted above. Think he's worried about me doing too much but am reckoning on being able to amble up to school in the afternoons with DH (10 min gentle walk) after the first week.

I think you might have more of a chance of doing that if you don't have to have the open hysterectomy. Everyone's different but I would say it's important to listen to your body. Unfortunately, if you're on a lot of painkillers, you might not know you've overdone it until it's too late iyswim. I felt ok on Friday but I overdid it and saturday was rubbish then.

I'm having to be stern with myself today though - because I feel better, I've been doing jobs round the house. I hope DH doesn't take that as a criticism

On the brighter side, I've done my nails for the first time ever. Took 1 1/2 hours and looks like a 6 year old has had a go but I'm chuffed. They never get this long - must be because I'm sitting about.

Hi fled, that's great your dh read that.
I think you might struggle with the 10 walk in week 2 but you might be ok if you do nothing else AT ALL!
Again you will know.

Lftmad- I have had an overdoing day too. My lovely cleaner turned up this morning and dh decided to take me out to ikea for lunch .
10 mins in the car. 2 minute walk to door . Up in the lift. Collapse on sofa in cafe. 1 coffee and a smoked salmon salad. 5 minute wander. Collection at door .straight home and I've been in bed since 2.30 reading and snoozing with achey tum.
Feel ok now but just shows you.
I did nothing yesterday except watch telly. Tomorrow I will be taking it easy again . Phew.
The lack of antibiotics in my system has completely cleared my foggy head and also it seems made decide I was better than I really am.

Maybe walking to school will be too much but I'm determined to be up & about as soon as I feel able. Lots of friends have said they will come in for coffee so hope they mean it as I'm possibly the worst patient

Letsface - definitely need to get my nails sorted. They are a mess from housework/baking/life so that as great idea.

PLEASE take it easy you lot. No planning on what you will be doing. Seriously take one day at a time for the first few weeks. I was told by my consultant and the physio that at 15 weeks you should be able to be back to normal,. The physio told me that after a hysterectomy there really should be no heavy lifting again ever… but thats just not possible or practical.

Have learned my lesson coco.
Can't believe how leaden i feel.
Feeling quite idiotic .
Flat out with cat tomorrow.

Jeepers Coco I hope that physio was having a laugh. I want to b flinging 70 litre bags of compost around again next summer

Cremola to have with your cat.