Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Tamoxigang -the 39th thread ***

996 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 04/07/2013 10:53

cooee ! we're over here - just in case the current thread hit 1000 without our noticing Grin Bring the trolley !

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 10/07/2013 10:37

EMIN so lovely to see you but eek- take care and rest up xxxxx

OP posts:
kitkat1967 · 10/07/2013 10:38

hi EMIN sorry you had such an awful 2 weeks but glad you sound well at the moment.

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 10:42

Mas yay Margaret! I have high hopes.......your walk sounds lovely. I used to ride there when I was at uni and go on drunken camping trips

none of this was with John Inverdale of course because as I mentioned on fbook no one remembers the little prat though he comes to our sports team reunions and acts like we are his long lost friends, and invents stories about what we all did together, it is really very strange,and he is also a very strange shade of orange. We all sit nursing our hangovers the next morning discussing what we supposedly did with him. Maybe we were pissed the whole time, if you remember it you weren't there, but as a friend said after JI had reminisced about watching Wimbledon in the tele in his room "it just doesn't stack up, I didn't like to say I never had a tele in my room!" I keep bumping into him in the park walking dogs, and he always greets me by name which is Confused I am so looking forward to the next encounter!! I shall do a Margaret Grin if he had known me and my uni friends, the Spinster Soc Netball team, he would have been reconstructed and would never have come out with crap like that.....

gigs of course you don't trust your body but the doctors are going to be super vigilant if it has shown them up, it's not going to get away with it again..... Hope dressing change isn't too ouchy.

I have a suggestion to follow on from your love of Howard's End. Seachange is sort of the Aussie version with Aussie beaches. I looked online but they don't do the DVD but it is on YouTube. It saw me through chemo.... And there is a gorgeous orange man in it. He was in LOTR as well, as Faramir, and so made it into the team in my visions....

Kitkat Smee and I are tumour twinnie's. I too had a nasty 1.7cm one but DCIS throughout my breast, as ER + as it is possible to be.. I t definitely didn't become palpable until the month I found it, and hadn't shown up on a mammogram a couple of months before, Consultant said it isn't uncommon not to show up on mammograms. I always felt (more hard Science talk) that the most important thing was closing down my hormones and never felt chemo was anything more than belt and braces. Even after chemo threw me into menopause my other breast was a still a bit of a bag of marbles, as opposed to a very painful bag of marbles it was before. When I started on the Tamoxifen the marbles all disappeared, and it has remained nice and squishy ever since now my Consultant says he might not even recommend chemo for a tumour like mine.

Malt I was supposed to be flying off to Queensland Australia three days after I found my lump, on 3 August. As we say on here, Cancer has a way of knowing these things and cropping up just at the wrong time. We made it to Oz though the following Easter, I am sure you will be having a great holiday soon.

Second day at Hampton Court Flower Show today Grin

I hope everyone has a lovely day.

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 10:46

Emin Glad to see you, and glad you are home

AND KK too. I am glad life isn't too grim. I have been imagining all sorts. DHs retirement dinner tonight, he has been a bit of a pain, finding it hard to adjust but the last two days has been more his old self. He keeps going on about smelling the flowers Grin I think I will get it engraved on something for his birthday!!

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/07/2013 11:10

copt does he live near you ? ewww- make sure you wither him when you come across him.

OP posts:
kitkat1967 · 10/07/2013 11:10

Interestingly I found out today (from nurse taking my bloods) that my onc had chemo himself about 3 years ago. Since then he has a reputation of almost 'over prescribing' on the meds - which explains why I got such a huge bag of 'goodies' after my first cycle with instructions to take them all whether I thought I needed them or not Smile. Let's hope the new sickness meds will do the trick then!

malteserzz · 10/07/2013 11:10

Need a bit of hand holding here
Nipped out this morning and got home to a letter telling me I had an onc appointment at 1045 today ! What a bloody joke ! Letter was sent on the 8th
I've rang and they've squeezed me in for 250 this afternoon and I'm now in shock and absolutely crapping myself I'm not ready for this I thought i would have time to get used to the idea

kitkat1967 · 10/07/2013 11:22

Malt - you will be fine. It's great that you didn't have to give up your appt all together and you don't have long to dwell on it. Have you got someone to take with you? Even if you haven't it will be OK (I went on my own).
From what I know of your diagnosis it will be one the 'usual' sets of chemos so for them it is very run of the mill.
If I'm honest the thought of having to see an oncologist absolutely terrifed me but it is just another doctor Smile
You might get bloods etc. done as well so be prepared to be shuffled off to see a nurse as well.

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 11:23

malt holding your hand, have you someone going with you? I would spend the next couple of hours thinking about what you want to ask, and write it down, they are used to people having a long list of written questions. Do they recommend chemo, by how much will it improve your chances, side effects, do they propose hormone therapy, are ones that spring to mind.

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 10/07/2013 11:25

Hi malt what a pain! I'm sure they won't want to be doing anything, just explaining the plan. They might want to take bloods as well, depending when they plan to start the chemo. It's a pain it's so last minute but I suppose at least you don't have much time to worry about it... Will anyone be able to go with you? Remember to take a notebook and pen so you can write down key points :)

malteserzz · 10/07/2013 11:29

Dh is coming with me I couldn't manage on my own im sobbing here not sure why as I knew it was coming
I can't deal with the chances of survival

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 10/07/2013 11:32

Cross posted there :) I personally didn't ask any questions like copt has recommended, I just said I'd do whatever the oncologist thought best and all my questions were practical ones about when things would be happening, what the process would be for appointments/blood tests etc but I had decided to keep my head in the sand about the whole cancer thing! It really depends how you want to handle things, my oncologist was happy not to discuss any of my pathology until I was ready. In fact, we have never talked about it! :)

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 10/07/2013 11:33

malt cross posted again, if you don't want to hear statistics then tell them when you first go in :) they will hopefully then not mention them unless you ask. Mine hasn't mentioned anything like that as I asked him not to talk about the cancer!

malteserzz · 10/07/2013 11:40

Thanks all I'm over dramatic I know just wasn't expecting it
I don't think I want to know it all either ruby just what I've got to do to hopefully get through it

kitkat1967 · 10/07/2013 11:46

Malt - I haven't talked statistics either - nothing offered and I didn't ask. I guess I've been more like Ruby - along the lines of - Can we sort this? Good, what do we have to do?

Unlike Betsy I'm not a detail person - more big picture I guess. So I stuck to things like - why that particiular chemo? How many cycles? What will the SE be? How soon can we start? Wink
And very importantly what comes after chemo?

HerNextDoorAt21 · 10/07/2013 11:47

malt I hope you are OK this afternoon

EMIN glad youa re home and what an ordeal you have had / are having

copt your tales of John Inverdale made me laugh .... why do people invent things and expect people to believe them and agree ? I have worked with poeple who talk absolute crap and I am not very good at biting my lip ! I once worked with a guy who said he was previously a NASA astronaut, then he was the personal archer to the Sultan of Brunei ! How could i not say "you are talking carp" to him ? lol

ruby I am the total opposite and have to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING .... I read relentlessly about DCIS and also became an expert on Aspergers and autism when my son was diagnosed !

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 11:51

malt I am sorry if I made you cry Sad Sorry agree we all cope differently, I wanted to know the stats so I felt I had control of the decision, and neither I not the oncy thought chemo was going to make much difference in my case.

malteserzz · 10/07/2013 11:58

Copt wasn't you that made me cry just the situation and the reality of it hitting
Emin we wondered where you were sorry to hear about your troubles but glad you're a bit better

Gigondas · 10/07/2013 12:32

As ruby and others have said you don't have to hear gory details- my onc knows this and jokes about it now .

Focus on the practical aspects like side effects (sickness , hair loss etc)

malteserzz · 10/07/2013 12:41

Thanks gigs I want to ask about the cold cap too
Seems like crap timing with it being the start of the school holidays next week but on positive side kids are getting older and can entertain themselves and I have a lot of support
It's the unknown that's scary I think
This afternoon sorted anyway dh on his way home and my mums coming to have the kids after school so feel but calmer

BetsyBoop · 10/07/2013 12:44

malt - will be thinking about you this afternoon. A list of qus is a good idea and a note book and pen to write things down (assigning that job to DH might be a good idea) I was bricking it before my first onc appt, but actually I've felt much more "in control" since I have a plan and I'm just getting on with it. My onc was fine with answering any qus I had (and to be honest they shouldn't be a consultant oncologist if they are not!)
Also beware that they may get you to sign the consent form for chemo to go ahead - it actually felt good that the onc wrote "cure from breast cancer" as the intented benefit on the form - when I asked he said "that is what we are aiming to do. :)

In terms of the stats you know what amber has already said about your excellent %, but the complete git bit is no one can tell us which side of the "line" we will fall, it is just a case of wait and see and hoping we are lucky enough to be on the good side. It's taken me a good while, but I think I'm finally accepting that we just have to roll with it (alongside doing everything possible to give ourselves the best chance) as we can't control it...

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 12:44

BTW Just saw picture this asked about diet. Well.... I was really fit and had a very healthy diet when I was diagnosed and being the control freak I am (see above or below depending whether you've flipped, actually don't you have to have flipped to join the Tamoxigang Grin ) I went out and bought every book going and went to see a quack doctor etc etc. Diet and exercise were my way of doing something positive for my body, and having some control. My favourite book was the Breast Cancer Prevention and Recovery Diet www.amazon.co.uk/Breast-Cancer-Prevention-Recovery-Diet/dp/0140283951 because she gives you the Science and lets you decide, and in fact the quack doctor recommended more or less the same supplements that she backed up with some Science. Too many of the books are evangelical, or even say you will die if you don't do what they say (eg Jane Plant). I threw those straight in the bin.

I went a bit bonkers for the first few years, only drank water out of glass bottles etc but I do still eat organic food as far as possible, lots of fruit and veg, and soya, lots of Asian food. And I still take supplements of a mega multi vitamin. 1000mg Vit C, 200mg Coenzyme Q10 and Milk Thistle, Calcium (now prescribed by Consultant as have Osteopenia as result of chemo / early menopause) and Omega 3,6,9 Oils.

In the course of the 12 years since diagnosed Soya and Coenzyme have been put on and taken off the implicated in Breast Cancer list and taken off and put on the good for those with Breast Cancer list but well they have worked for me for 12 years so Hmm

doesn't mention diet coke and binge drinking

Copthallresident · 10/07/2013 12:56

Betsy the ones who fall the bad sign of the line have crap doctors, don't find it until it's too late, eat deep fried Mars Bars and binge drink more than me

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/07/2013 12:58

all will be fine I'm sure malt - another step towards recovery- probably blood tests and whatnot and what they call at my hospital 'chemo chat'. I find myself asking more questions now than my initial onc appointment -it was v quick with dx of mets and 2 or 3 days later into to see onc. They will only tell you things you want to know,regarding prognosis etc- my onc didn't tell me until I asked -it wasn't anything I hadn't known from my scouring of the internet. I like knowing things though.
Chin up and onwards !

OP posts:
kitkat1967 · 10/07/2013 14:20

Good luck Malt. I'm off out now but will be back to hear all your news. You will be fine.