38th tamoxifen - waiting for summer in the bus shelter

[Gigondas]

New thread.

Can you get some chocolate covered turkish delights from M&S please hnd- my latest fad.

Really hope the holes are sorted for your holiday-where are you going ?

Am drain-less, yippee!!

Swallowed, you know chances are they've told you what it is already. imo they're pretty straight and good at working it out. I think the majority of us have found that to be the case. Have a great holiday. Try and forget it all.

You've had one hell of a haul, HND. You deserve treats, though if you happen on some of those Turkish Delights they sound mmm...

KitKat, how are you now? Still feeling sick? Hope not.

Hope you're home soon, Ruby. You're bound to feel odd, but it's seriously brilliant you're through chemo.

Waving to Gracie, Topsy, MAS, Malt, Lily, snails, amber and all others I've missed. Was wondering about Figgy too, and goes without saying we're missing Kurri. Sending her a special wave. x

Thank you for the warm welcome, sorry I posted and ran this morning but school run, massage (courtesy of the complimentary therapy arm of our onc unit) and sports day have kept me busy. Amber thank you, thank you, thank you. I have rediscovered my inner smile thanks to your post. The past 8/9 weeks I have been smiling on the outside but scared fecking shitless inside and it feels so good to hear great things from someone who has actually been through it, you too Gracie. SwallowedAfly I'm sorry I have scared you, I think I have just been particularly unfortunate in all this. Apparently DCIS can stay quite happily in your ducts for a lifetime without ever becoming invasive, however they think my recent pregnancy was responsible for mine becoming rampant. Thank God I didn't listen to my GP who told me it couldn't possibly be cancer as I didn't have a lump, I had a skin thickening and that as I was still bf DS it was mastitis. I got referred via a consultant at work (I'm a midwife), and was seen and treated very quickly by the breast team so in many ways I'm very lucky we got it when we did. I had my eyebrows tattooed yesterday in preparation for their departure. Finding a wig that doesn't look like it belongs on the end of a broom handle has been no mean feat but I think I have found one I am happy with. To be honest, the thought of losing my hair upsets me more than losing my boob has. Without my hair, people will think I'm ill and start doing the 'head tilt'. You know "how are you?" (Head tilt) "you ok?" (Head tilt)

bless you pic - glad you found 'the' wig. i'm just in waiting game whereby either they'll investigate and find that's it and watch and wait or they'll investigate and fine the other stuff that sometimes accompanies this stuff and we'll whoosh into treatment. thank goodness you got your referral and caught it when you did.

picture We have strong views on head tilters here, not to mention anyone who tells you you are brave or strong, or on a journey,
and pink feather boas. We are however fans of the lesbian haircut that you will have in a few months time...

Just to add to your good news I was diagnosed stage 3 12 years ago along with another mother of young children, and through treatment we built up a little Cancer coven (with terrible wigs ) another Tamoxigang. Two of them were diagnosed whilst breastfeeding and one was Her 2 Neu as well. Then our odds varied between 50/50 and 40/60 of not making it, but we are all still here, and we behaved disgracefully throughout treatment, white blood cells plummeting, treatments delayed, binge drinking sessions etc. etc. just goes to show the shitty treatments do work, and are getting better all the time.

smee yeah for getting rid of drain, is the plumbing repair holding as well?

ruby strutting around Mick Jagger style celebrating your last chemo. as in yeah, yeah ,yeah, yeah, oooo how come it feels so good....

Hugs to everyone else especially those "fighting" lurgys in the family

@ your gp picture !
Hooray for no drain smee !! xxx

Human pincushion checking in :) took them so many attempts to get a cannula in, I think they tried every vein in my hands and lower arms, owchies. If you're offered a line I'd definitely recommend taking it to avoid that kind of adventure! :)

Last chemo over, wooooohooooo!

Feeling okay so far, bit wired from steroids as always! have been doing some online browsing but resisting buying anything until after I've had my colours done in a few weeks.

How is everyone doodly doing? We are filling this thread so quickly!

Also strutting for smee being drain-free! Wooooo!

Yay for ruby and yay for smee being drain free (is smee Keith Richards if ruby is jagger).

Last radio today but throat swollen and full of aches so I will be mostly in bed for few days .

Hnd sending healing vibes for wound,

Hello to everyone else and welcome newbies.

Though your poor arms. Are you having celebratory end-of-chemo tea? If so, what's on the menu..?

Picture, you are allowed to hit head tilters. Just say you've got cancer - not a judge in the land will convict you.

Plumbing holding for now Copt. DH has v.sternly told me not to overdo it. but that's because he wants to go off to watch Tour de France at the weekend

Picture, glad to be of some small assistance. I am Not A Doctor but just happen to have access to their research and tables and calculators etc. You will be delighted to also learn of a friend of mine who was given three weeks to live....er, nearly three years ago. Currently causing chaos in the garden and local community and whizzing about the countryside seeing friends and family, on a steady dose of occasional chemo and a bunch of steroids. Riddled with cancer all through her but the drugs have kept it tame. So even if it's the worst possible news, the attitude of 'oh drat - what a pesky nuisance - must just get on with this work!" seems to work, too. What doesn't work is martyrdom - the "I shall suffer through this and battle with this terrible enemy" stuff. The more people treat it as a minor inconvenience like an ingrown toenail, the better they do. It's puzzling the scientists. Odd things, bodies and brains.
I did of course do the Full Panic myself for some time, so am not for one moment saying I managed any of this correct attitude myself. But that's the science for you. In September I will have my next checkup and you can observe my Full Panic Mode then

I was completely mad and worked all the way through chemo etc. And had a pretty darned good time on it.

Smee, no drain? Fab.
Ruby, last chemo? Fab also!!

Love the idea of smacking the head tilters and getting away with it. Our oncology link nurse had her picture in the local paper a couple of weeks ago and was doing it....it must be a pre requisite for the job!

I also plan to work through chemo, although it will be admin only, no patient contact but it will maintain my life as I know it. Hospice rang the other day to see if I wanted to join their young persons group, age range 18-50, not to be confused with 18-30. Now forgive me if I insult anyone but, when she told me they do 'lovely activities and go on trips to, you know, the local museum' My immediate thought after "What the Fuck! Hospice? Am I that unwell and no one's told me?!" was, "no way I can take myself to the museum if I want". I politely declined her offer and told her I would contact her if I changed my mind. The thing is I have a fantastic network of friends and a wonderful husband and family who will catch me if I fall and I just don't think I want to immerse myself in all that is cancer. I'm not in any way knocking those that do but I know at the moment it isn't for me.

Thank you Cop for your brilliant positive 'journey' I'm looking forward to rocking the lesbian hairdo (oh that made me laugh) but I have to get past the bald eagle look first.

Ooh Pictures, can I just join you on that rant. I was invited to the 'Young Women's Support Group', which met at the local hospice. They couldn't understand why they didn't get many attending.

question for you ladies if you don't mind - have any of claimed on a critical illness policy???
I was asked today if I had claimed (have policy through work) and I said 'No, I am not critical' . So off I potter to look at the policy and actually maybe I can (too late to ring up and ask). I've read all the T&Cs but it seems quite clear but my question is - Breast Cancer is 'proper' cancer isn't it? You guys are all so positive I often forget about the seriousness.

kitkat Yes I claimed on it, £150k as I recall, paid straight out with no quibbles. What with that and the settlement I reached out of court with work for constructive dismissal, I did rather well financially out of Cancer

Strutting wildly for last radio gigs although bummer about the throat, I hope you feel much better after a few lovely restful days! :)

kitkat yes breast cancer is "proper cancer". I know what you mean, frankly I barely remember I've had cancer tbh, even though I've been having chemo for the last six months

picture hospices can be great support but the association is defi Italy with terminal illnesses and I can see why you don't want to go to museum trips etc., I'm with you on not being too cancery but I'm currently doing a Macmillan course so don't rule it out completely, you might find things you fancy, like the Look Good, Feel Better workshop if you're into make up etc. small silver lining for the whole cancer thing :)

Just had tonight's chemo tablets, calming down a bit now and remembered not to take the steroids after 4pm so will hopefully sleep alright tonight :)

smee had cheese on toast with baked beans so not hugely exciting. But we are planning exciting things for once my tummy has fully recovered, probably in a month or two. Jumbo Indian takeaway with all the dishes I fancy, and maybe also a Mexican takeaway another day hope you're resting up and feeling better :)

thanks Cop. As it happens I'm not quite in that ballpark (sadly didn't take the max cover available) but certainly enough to make a huge difference.

I was just thown a bit by the exclusions for:
pre-malignant;
non-invasive;
cancer in-situ;
boderline malignancy and
low malignant potential.

BUT I am pretty certain that i would not be having chemo, mx and radiotherapy if I was in any of those categories.

Did you just have to get your consultant to fill a form in?

I know I can speak to someone tomorrow but I'm all excited now .

Ruby - well done on completely your last cycle. It's a long way off for us newbies!!!

kitkat DH sorted it all out. I was busy being brave . It was his insurance.

Oh I'm doing the Look Good Feel Better thing Ruby just not the other stuff.

I had the lymphoedema clinic at the hospice. Lovely place but not somewhere you want to be when you are trying not to be terminal. All lilies and hushed tones. And strangely lots of winnie the pooh quotes. (no children, mostly elderly folk, weird choice imo.)

Ds not back from London until midnight. I will be waiting up for him. Shall I watch Luther or will i scare the pants off me?

Welcome to the board picture. None of us actually want to be here but the other inmates are all lovely.

Don't watch Luther if you are on your own Trice !
Scared the bejeezus outta me , and I had DH and pig/dog with me

Even worse was The Fall .
I found that very disturbing as it was all filmed in the town I live in

Yippee for last chemo Ruby
And wayhay for drain removal Smee

Ah bugger it , chemo brain strikes again . Off I go to reskim the thread !

Meant to say that tomorrow will be a full week since my last vat glass of wine !
And so far , I'm still feeling in the "never again" camp .

I really really really had the hangover from hell

Have my fingers in my ears for the hospice talk, I can't cope with it
Who mentioned eyebrow tattooing Id like to know more about that
I'll focus on the unimportant bits and ignore the serious stuff think I'm in denial a bit

Do you mind me asking, for those of you who have/had lost their hair from the chemo, did you get a cold head at night? If so, what did you wear?