******The 36th TAMOXIFEN thread******

[NedSchneebly]

You all out there? Pop this way!

arse about camper nj
EMIN rotten news and a huge hug from me - can't really say any more of use, just that am here to help if I can.

EMIN Cross posted. Huge hugs from me too, and a shoulder to cry on.

So sorry, Earth. A good cry is a reasonable first step. x

MAS - leavers thing does sound nice: I imagine it's a very emotional thing (though I hated my own school and seem to remember skipping happily off out the gate on the last day): but for most kids, they've spent such a large, happy part of their young lives there.

I've had a quick scan back up the thread and it seems there are so many in need of a good hug at the moment. Love to you all

I'm going back for a better look

Oh Earth - I'm so sorry - written words are pretty useless right now, but you are very much in my thoughts xx

:( EMIN especially big hugs to you. Have a good old cry and let it all out. It's not about giving up or giving in or anything like that. Give yourself time and space to process it all. Is there anyone you can chat to? A specialist nurse or similar. It's not a done deal yet if they're talking about chemo :) stupid bastard cancer though.

topsy another bastard cancer hug for you all, how is DH coping? What a horrid situation. Hopefully the Indian dinner will take your minds off it, sounds delicious.

notJ dammit about camper, hope it can be fixed up soon.

MAS sounds like a lovely service apart from the preaching.

smee enjoy the birthday swimming!

KK yuck at Keira Knightley, am not a fan either. No plans for the bank holiday as far as I know, I wouldn't even know it was happening tbh! :) getting my blood transfusion on Tues which I'm really looking forward to, hopefully that'll help me perk up a bit as am very weary at the mo. I need to try and exercise to help with chemo but not even managing my chair workout at the mo! How about you, any BH plans?

trice wheelchair decorations sound fun. Any design ideas yet? My nana had a wheelchair and we got this fab sparkly pen thing to write her name across the back! :)

Earth. What a sodding awful bit of news to hear. We're all here for you xx

(((((hugs)))) to all from me too. Does seem to be a lot not going right at the moment.

Earth all I can say is I'm sorry it wasn't better news x

I've put the heating on and it's blowing a total hoolie here. Even without a calendar in front of me I think I'd guess there was a Bank Holiday in the offing

EMIN , shitty news .
Both Mas and I have lung secondaries , so any qs feel free to ask .
I will say though that secondaries are not an automatic death sentence .
So many of us are trudging along years and years after and secondaries diagnosis .

I think we hear the word "uncurable" and think its all over .
I like to think of it as a long term illness like diabetes . We will need meds for it every so often , but we will live with it !

But for now , feel free to cry and tell the world that its a bastarding unfair place !

Yes absolutely freezing here I've gone back into my boots and jumper, my feet were so cold in shoes yesterday

For once , the sun is splitting the skies over here .
It's very blowy , but gorgeous looking

I have decided to cast off my miserable mood and get on with it .

More cooking at HNDs later in preparation for Indian night on Saturday .
and very probably some wine drinking

Topsy Indian night and wine sounds lovely what are you cooking?
Dh and ds going to a football presentation evening tonight, dd and I can't decide whether to go or not.

Not sure what the curries are called , I shall ask HND and get back to you on that one !

Last night I made a tikka masala marinade (I think)
And HND made tomato chutney and naan breads .

Tonight we are making samosas and some kind of potato rissole thingies . And prob onion zingharas (bhaji type things)
And we will prob put the chicken and lamb in the various marinades over night .

I just do as I'm told in HNDs kitchen , her son now calls me Sue (as in soux chef !)

Thanks everyone, I'm taking note especially what topsy said about automatic death sentences.

The family will all be in for tea around 6pm (fish n chips isn't cheating today is it) and Dh and I have ended up screeching with hysterical laughter around the fact that we know and they don't. (More mushy peas dear?)

Very childish and we are slowly getting our acts together but, for a few minutes we needed to be silly. Sensible parents needed now. I have no idea what to say to them, who's eyes to meet etc.

Bloody drama queen now. Stay with me ladies!

No not drama queen - lovely lady, lovely online friend - laughing is good - your family will rally round and step up for you - I can guarantee it. xx

Adding hugs and love for earth- I have lung and bone mets but also thought had liver mets but turns out to be fatty deposit. As topsy says hang in there. If they are talking treatment it ain't over.

Plus you definitely want mushy peas.

Topsy- Indian night sounds lovely. We are off to an Indian wedding party tomorrow night and I can't wait.

Back later as just got in- had lovely day but need duct taping now

Def not Drama Queen !
How old are your kiddies memory of a goldfish ?
I never told my 2 about secondaries .
As far as they are concerned I just need treatment every so often !

Hurry up and get home DH , I need a lift to the wine shop

X post Gigs

One of my sils is Indian and her wedding was awesome not just for the food

Did I mention I'm in dire need of wine ?
Holds out glass hopefully ...

am nearly falling asleep over sorting my tax stuff -'tis dull.
Dad's birthday dinner later- prosecco and either Indian or Chinese take away -aunt and cousin also joining us before they return to Cheshire tomorrow. And there's cake.
Indian wedding party sounds fab gig as do the preps for Indianm nite chez hnd
When are you off to French France gig ?

Indian sounds lovely
Fish and chips sounds lovely too, wonder if I'm hungry?
Decided to stay in tonight too wet and cold to venture out, so glad it was last Friday we went to the zoo not today
Gigs glad you had a good day
Chat about secondaries is both reassuring and scary at the same time for a newbie like me
Hope everyone has as good an evening as possible x

Mine too young to know too so use same concept as topsy. I am still on painkillers ( think you are right kurri)

Staying in sounds a good plan malt- dont let our secondary chat scare you as it's not your issue. Just focus on here and now . The last day at work is daunting - I convinced myself that was it but was back in January (and am on sick leave now so Back at never say never).

Ash- blood transfusion will make you feel better. It is a real lift. Only thing is once you start needing it , it can be a pattern so don't be surprised if you need more during chemo.

Nj - grr about van. That is disappointing.

I have electric blanket on, it's may. Off to tesco metro French France on Sunday . Weather meant to be shit there but I have wine, French food and box sets if I don't feel like doing the stuff others have planned as too much.

Whilst we are on subject of wobbly Friday (amber thinking of you lovely), I had call from radio team to do planning session week after next. Knew it was coming and not worried as such but I had a complete flashback to day I got told I had mets.
Reason is was told in radio dept and saw girl who rang me after (lovely girl but I think radio now associated with bad news). I hadn't thought about this before but wonder if I am going to find it upsetting by association going there again.

Lost sentence... Think you are right about being stiff if dont move and finding a balance . I was ok today sitting or walking but not standing. And ds sounds very like big gig in his responses!

Copt- we should have a catch up to offload when get back .

More hugs all round....

Sounds like lots are having pretty crap times so hugs to you all.

emin really sorry you got rotten news. My chemo nurse has a couple of ladies who have had mets in bones/lungs/liver and are still going strong 9 years later just having chemo on and off.

amber hugs to you too. It must have been very worrying for you both. We love you with or without your stats. I hope you don't feel under pressure when we refer to your stats.

gigs enjoy France. Hope you have a relaxing time - well deserved.

trice Macmillan nurse sounds very tactless. I think sometimes as they are dealing with this every day they sometimes forget they are dealing with a person with fears and feelings.

mas leaving assembly sounds lovely. DS school doesn't have one and they don't have a formal either . Hope your sickness has eased.

topsy and hnd enjoy your Indian meal, sounds and looks lovely - what time do you want me round?

Glad you didn't need stitches kurri step away from the stanley knife.

Sorry I have wittered on - waving to malt smee sparkle sometimes goodbye and anyone else I have missed.