******The 36th TAMOXIFEN thread******

[NedSchneebly]

You all out there? Pop this way!

[graciesmall09]

My goodness you can all talk

Absolutely no chance with catching up on all but so glad your appointment went well ned and glad to see you are out of hospital ash

malt hope you are ok - my 'story' dx March 2012 with 1.7 cm Grade 3 invasive ductal cancer. ER+ PR+ HER2+ No nodes involved. I had 8 x FEC chemo, 25 rads and am on Tamoxifen and Herceptin until November. I have had numerous times of blind panic but they are getting less.

DS1 finished school on Wednesday. He only has to go in for GCSEs so we are hoping he gets enough points to get back in.

[malteserzz]

Am I allowed to join the thread or am I too depressing and annoying ?
In real life I think I'm ok, have been out for a lovely meal with friends with lots of wine, gossip and laughs
But you lot and dh seem to get the woe is me part !

[graciesmall09]

Moan away malt I think I won the prize for 'biggest moaner during chemo' [smile

[graciesmall09]

Glad you had a good night out.

[malteserzz]

Thanks Gracie
What does ds want to do after his gcse s ?
Dd has just chosen her options to start hers and she's waiting to hear if she can do everything she's chosen.

[graciesmall09]

As little as possible probably. He originally wanted to do forensics but now thinks he would like to do geography as 'there are loads of field trips' [hmmm] Mind you he has to get the points first to do A levels. Does your DD have any idea what she wants to do?

[malteserzz]

Lol at loads of field trips ! I like his attitude ! No she hasn't got a clue apart from not wanting to be a teacher like me or an accountant like dh
I'm trying to make myself tired so I can sleep without a sleeping tablet it's not working.

[malteserzz]

Still awake!

[jchocchip]

Just gone to bed - was 10pm when we got here and had to talk a bit! Not quite tired but have boring work book to read which should do it. Will get up for 8am I hope. Have set alarm :)

[malteserzz]

Hope you're all asleep
Have given up and just had sleeping tablet but am bit pissed off as I could have just taken it at 10 and been asleep for hours!

[Gigondas]

Staggers in - in hand. Was sleeping nicely then was woken by big gig who had been sick. So been trying to sleep and deal with that til dh took over just now.

Malt- You aren't taking over anything malt - you are most welcome . As Gracie says (waves to Gracie), every one of us has had wobbles and freak outs. Thread is here to let us vent. God knows my sleep habits and the truals of the mini gigs not that interesting.

At your ds and field trips - dss sixth form choices were based on least homework too.

[jchocchip]

Malt, it's because we have all had wobbles and freak outs at dx that this is a safe place for you to have your wobbles in. I joined in thread 12 or 13 I think and had my fair share of wobbles. Now I'm hopefully over the blip and back at work I think I have got my wobbling down to the six monthly checkups and any odd aches and pains in the meantime. Life goes on. I could stop mning or try other boards but aibu and relationships winds me up! I do check into a c25k thread too so my mn isn't just tamoxifen. Sorry I'm rambling. Luffs you all .
I'll put the kettle on and make a

[jchocchip]

Hope sick big gig is feeling better gig.

[notJenkins]

Hope big gig is ok this morning.

I am having a lazy day and am in bed with the hounds as I have hideous back pain. Not sure if my hormones are being affected by my artificial metabolism as I only had this type of pain hormone related before and having it more since my op. trip to the GP in order if it does not go away.

malt feel free to moan and wobble away. I was the biggest moaner and was terrified before my op and got a huge amount of support here. I was dx just before Xmas and everyone else having fun and being all jolly made me feel worse ! You are going through a very traumatic time is is entirely normal to worry.

Bright sunshine here. Throwing croissants on the trolley.

[AshokanFarewell]

Morning all,

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, I think I may have a bowel obstruction but none of the bowel or oncology people are around at weekends so I'm going to have to phone the out of hours GP I think :(

I hope big gig is feeling better this morning gigs and that you all managed to get some more sleep.

jchoc any plans for today?

malt hope you slept well

[notJenkins]

Oh ash that sounds horrible. My gran had several bowel obstructions after her surgery and they are medical emergencies and not fun at all. You need to get seen ASAP.

[malteserzz]

Thank you all
Gigs hope big gig is better this morning ?
Jchoc I do like AIBU for a distraction when I need to think about something else, feel like putting get a grip many times!
NotJ sorry about your back can you take anything for it for try a hot water bottle ? Hope it eases soon
Ash hope you get it sorted hope you have rang the GP. You feel as sorry for yourself as you like and we will listen and stroke your brow

GP, mum, friends all worried if I take a sleeping tablet every night I'll get addicted. For me I can't see that it matters in the scheme of things . They don't see me wide awake and panicking in the middle of the night.

Still in bed have promised to take dd shopping later so will be a trip to primark x

[notJenkins]

I used to listen to a sleep meditation app to get me to sleep. It used to really work when my mind was whirring and the panic setting in.

[MaryAnnSingleton]

malt definitely try some meditation techniques in bed,preferably listening to a meditation cd of app. - honestly they work,I used to fall asleep when doing a body scan meditation (you aren't meant to,but I always did- I used to get to my chest I think and never heard the bits about the rest of the body) Mindfulness breathing might help, just concentrating on the rhythm of your breath and dismissing any thoughts which come into your mind,imagining them as clouds passing by in the sky.
ash hope you are ok and can get gp today - take care lovely xxx

My plan is to go to town,catch the bank, wash the floor and then carry on with drawing and stuff for my website,plus ironing and washing.

A thought- was lying on my hip again last night and it really aches, am trying to think about when it started (certainly post original diagnosis) Gps have in the past reckoned it was arthritis in the joint- wear and tear- but might it be something worse ? Oncy understudy said last time that CTs don't show bone stuff very well. Didn't mention it this time, just the odd heaviness in my chest which I can never describe very well because it's not a pain, just a feeling. I feel foolish,as if I'm sort of looking for trouble or imagining stuff.

[MaryAnnSingleton]

hope big gig is ok xx

[NedSchneebly]

Morning all

malt my GP put me on Trazadone, which is an antidepressant with sedative properties, so effectively AD and sleeping pill in one. They're great, non-addictive, according to GP, and bloody good at helping m sleep. I've been on them 14 months and can highly recommend. Sleep deprivation is dire, and makes everything seem worse. With a good night's sleep you at least have a fighting chance of getting through the day and coping with it all. Be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to do x x x

gig how's the house of sickness this morning? Hope biggig perking up and you got some more sleep, or at least some rest.

ash get thee to a doc, lovely. Hope you can get sorted.

NJ you going to docs too, love? Hope you feel better soon.

Waves to all. Got kettle on o anyone?

[NedSchneebly]

X post mas must be a worry for you, love. Can you email BCN and ask her? Might be something they can investigate for you? Thinking of you x x

[MaryAnnSingleton]

thanks ned -I just worry about being a nuisance and that it's just arthritis or in my head

[malteserzz]

Thanks all MAS I guess if it's something you've been thinking about its worth getting checked out just for peace of mind ?
I've just downloaded a sleep app thanks will give it a try ! Will discuss if with the GP if it doesn't improve

Is there anything special I need to buy for my lumpectomy? They said a good supporting bra, like a sports one ?

[trice]

I did laugh (blackly) when I was watching that nhs in a day programme and they showed that nice oncology nurse with the rockabilly hair do. She said that she had been to her gp almost every other week since starting in oncology with worries and niggles. Cancer takes away your feeling of safety. Stupid disease.

Mas, are you are going to worry about it until you get it checked? If so then go and get it checked. It is probably nothing sinister but if it hurts it needs treatment.

I slept well last night and so am a little less crazy.

Ash, you are quite right to feel sorry for yourself, it sounds dreadfully uncomfortable. I hope you get sorted out soon.

I find weekends to be very inconvenient when I am ill. I don't understand why hospital have to shut down to the extent they do. It's bloody annoying. (when I am not poorly I do acknowledge the right to a family life for health care professionals).