******The 36th TAMOXIFEN thread******

[NedSchneebly]

You all out there? Pop this way!

kk extra special this year because I always go with friend who went through treatment at same time as me, and she had recurrence this year so it has been a tough winter in more ways than one, we have been looking forward to making this another year. Only thing is that rather dypso friend coming as well and hoping she will be able to last out until the Pimms is scheduled in our regular routine, can't be doing with anyone messing with our routine. Anyway turns out iplayer people must mumsnet as Flower Show programme up and enjoying some lovely peonies.

Wish you were on Facebook as would love to share photos of gardens with someone who doesn't think it deeply sad!!

Copt - I am contemplating FB - DH keeps saying I should go on it (presumably so he can communicate with me ), so it may happen at some point. I would love to drool over garden pictures, I would go even more bonkers if I couldn't do gardening.

The little silver calf was very cute wasn't he topsy? - and that bull was so docile. Felt sorry for the poor bullock that the expert said wasn't up to scratch - much technical cow chat about weak fettles or something

I love countryfile - my favourite recent one was where Julia Bradbury went to visit a mad bee lady who was talked to her bees and kept them in a sort of wicker hive, and one of them stung Julia, who was clearly trying very hard not to shout 'stop them stinging me you loon' to the woman.

What are you crocheting atm?

I have weak fettles, high time I was put down

I like Julia whether or no she was put in as young bimbo to replace older woman I loved her Wainwright walks, and thanks to her was inspired to go coasteering en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coasteering with Copettes which is a wonderful memory even if I was a wimp and had to be helped by rugged instructor.

Great bit in Flower Show coverage about diagnosis by Chris Beardshaw, admittedly I am biased as he is my sad schoolgirl gardener crush (those twinkly blue eyes, the innuendo on Gardener's Question Time who knew gardening was all about sex? ) but he is also sensitive and though his diagnosis was arthritis he movingly describes how it feels, and the images are wonderfully evocative too. It starts at 46mins here www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01st7qz/RHS_Chelsea_Flower_Show_2013_Episode_1/

Yes without gardening I would be even more bonkers.

Or depending on your perspective because of my gardening I am even more bonkers

It is a beautiful morning. Dawn chorus is deafening.

I still wish I was asleep though.

Well done Ned. Brilliant running/fundraising.

Copt, my fb is covered in plant and flower photos that most of my friends ignore politely

Morning trice- and everyone else.

I enjoyed Chelsea (and am not normally a garden person)- i haven't been for years but think will brave Hampton court as just down road this year. I want to get more info on when my radio will be so can plan all this. Hope tomorrow appt will do that as well as scare me witless as my onc always does that to me(tho she is very competent and caring , she has a real professor mcgonagall scary headmistress manner).

Kurri- do people not know Sunday is for quiet tv viewing? Think fb is good idea so we can see your pics.

Malt- google is not your friend . But as kurri and Copt say chemo is manageable and we can help. You also don't know if you will need it so try not to borrow tomorrows problems for today.

Also fb group is closed so I use it to post on cancer- not that my dx is a secret but don't tend to mention it on my main bit as want to avoid the kind of crappy " poor Hun" responses you might get from odd person.

Mr gig now fretting as mini gig has "borrowed" 2 watches and he can't find what she has done with them. He is using this as an excuse for why he has tons of watches ...

Bum on box, candle lit and fingers crossed for topsy. Did you manage much sleep?

Good morning from me. I am lying in bed in a lovely part of Devon in a hotel sipping tea. Can't throw anything on the trolley as we are going down for breakfast a bit later.

I am having a lovely relaxing break away and will be back to catch up soon.

have a fab time notjenkins - sounds idyllic.
I like garden pictures though am certainly no gardener- leave that to dh- I just appreciate the results. I loathe Alan Titchmarsh - he lives in next village-but he's bloody everywhere and a smarmy git to boot.
Thinking of you topsy- will bring you a croissant for `afterwards.
kk do go on fb - it's a brilliant way of seeing what's going on with your friends- I'd be lost without it. Plus the bonuses of garden pics/assorted animals etc.

Notjenkins that sounds lovely bet you've had a yummy breakfast by now, enjoy your break
Topsy best of luck x
Hi to everyone else on this dull Monday morning well it is here
I'm rubbish at gardening, dh does ours. Garden is mostly a football pitch at the moment anyway!

Both times I've seen my consultant he's talked about chemo as an almost certainty. Obviously if I need it will do anything but was reading about all the things you can't do to avoid infections and all the side effects, obviously I would get every one
Off out shopping with my friend and her dd later

Morning All

Apt not till 3.30 , don't you just hate that ? When you have to hang around all day waiting ?

On the plus side , DH has manflu
So I can listen to him cough and groan to keep me occupied !

Slept pretty piss poor .
Went up to bed about 2.30 , slept for about an hour . Watched history program's on iplayer , went back to sleep about 5.30 till 7.30 .

I love watching gardening program's . I don't do any actual gardening , that's DHs job

Right off to forage for headache tabs and more coffee .

Nj how very dare you come on here posting about idyllic hotel breaks !
Bet you've got sunshine too ....

Malt I sailed through chemo . Once they sorted out my anti sickness meds I was fine .
In fact better than fine , as it completely cleared all my psoriasis

Thinking of topsy

Breakfast was fab I do like a hotel breakfast. Fresh juice, toast, full English , pastries washed down with earl grey. All local organic lentil weavery.

We are off to buy some rainbow clothes.

Not to jump ahead but you will find there is a rhythm to chemo cycle which you can to an extent plan around. Also aside from hair loss (which is not a given and you do get used to , plus it grows back) a lot of side effects are things that you will have had from pmt or pregnancy.

So for me I had chemo every 3 weeks (mine was quite odd as had it in hospital over 3 days- most chemo is one day given at home or in hospital for day). For those days and 2/3 after, I would get very tired and feel sicky (wasn't actually sick). This was controlled if nibbled snacks and drank ginger drinks or fizzy water.

Then day 6-12 were the low immunity point of cycle. This was where I had to keep out of busy places and generally felt tired and achy.

For the third week I felt pretty normal so planned stuff like trips, nights out for then.

You got used to it (or I did).

Yes you want appointment done don't you topsy.

A biscuit will probably help the headache.

Nj break and breakfast sounds lovely.

Hurling medicinal jaffa cakes onto trolley for Topsy. Bugger about appt time. Can't HND distract you??

Malt, if chemo's what you end up with we'll drag you through. Can't tell how you'll be on it and we've all varied in terms of side effects, but I doubt any of us would say it's undo-able and certainly none of us would call ourselves brave. Totally normal to be terrified of it though. x

NJ's v.sneaky. She didn't say where in Devon she was, so we can't go and invade...

Can I just be openly amazed that my 8 year old DS's feet are now bigger than mine. He's got a hole (again!) in his supposedly indestructible school shoes so we got his feet measured again and he's size 6..

Waving to all. Got stacks of work on, but will have candle lit and be thinking of you later, Topsy. xx

topsy hate how time slows down in wait for appointments, glacial by time in waiting room but we are here to chivvy it along and warm things up. At least with it being 3.30 you can walk out into pub for without appearing total alky. 9 am tough on that front.

smee this is interesting www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/may/19/how-recover-from-jet-lag realised post menopausal lack of melatonin responsible for difficulty getting to sleep but did not realise it regulates temperature as well, will ask Dr Lovely.

nj very of Devon trip, lovely pics of Dartington Hall. Enjoy your inner hippy today ! Girls refuse to go now, associate it with walks , wet suits and cold windy seas and gardens which they don't do anymore but big Copt taking 17 friends to cottage to celebrate 21st and I'm not invited. [Sad] I don't think they realise what good company I would be nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/withnail.jpg

mas agree about AT one of those people who is a characature of himself, like Bruce Forsyth, Michael Ball . If you do watch Flower Show bit on diagnosis go to 47 mins to avoid his facile intro.

Had hoped for good sleep and dreams of Chris but tossed and turned and usual Sunday night maudlin and scary thoughts. Feel fine this morning though, this study leave suits me as being able to sleep past seven is difference between being human and a zombie.....

Don't encourage me on pics of garden front, at least after goondogs desolation of herbaceous border playing football with hedgehog still it's not much to look at this year .....

gigs will do Hampton Court, as member can get (slightly) less crowded and cheaper members day tickets, pm me when know what you can do. Last year I was stocking my pond and I was person trekking across Bushy with Papyrus taro and lotus all dripping mud all over me, and greatly exceeding 10 lb limit on arm without lymph nodes. Lesson learned.....

Just dashing in to add my good vibes (and capacious bum for The Box) to Topsy.

And dashing out again to do some work.

Don't feel sorry for me though, I think that by mid June I'll have bxxxxr all do to do . Will be plaguing you all with my usual inanities then

Love to everyone else xxxx

Waving to Sometimes. Sending you more-nice-work-project vibes for June.

Copt, that is interesting. I happen to have a tub of Melatonin from last trip to NY. Bought for my sister-in-law who swears by it for jet lag, but DH bought too much, so she told me to keep it and try. Maybe I should give it a whirl..

Just popping in to send topsy good thoughts for this afternoon. I will hop on the box too.

Waves to everyone else :)

Had blood taken today, very uneventful and my veins were cooperative for a change. Now doing some tidying. I will be back later.

Cake with chocolate butter icing for the trolley

Nah, she's just an ensemble player so I think she's got about four different bit parts. But the costumes are all very stylised - they're all pretty much the same just in a variety of sludgy colours. Apparently the director saw The Tempest (I think it was) at The Globe a couple of weeks ago and has taken her inspiration from there

Proving a bit expensive, but you can't stamp on their dreams, can you?

Does sound a mite challenging, Sometimes Will there be uber competitive costume making from Alpha mums..? Can imagine so.

DS is v.much not into performing, though he has to be in the school summer show - they all have to do something. All I can get out of him is that it's great he's so tall as that means he's at the back and nobody will be able to see him dancing.