**TAMOXIFEN 35**the all dancing,fat boy snacking and drugs thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yoo hoo - over here- bring the trolley...

malt they won't be able to tell you everything about your tumour until the entire lump is removed. After my biopsy, the pathologists ESTIMATED the grade, stage, size and hormone receptivity, but stressed this was the estimate, but was a reasonable guide. This was used to decide my operation.

When the full pathology came back two weeks after the operation, that's when they decided on the drugs / radiotherapy / chemotherapy regime. Your hospital may be different. But the thing to remember is that you're on a journey with little stops along the way, each one offering a bit more information and honing the treatment. This resutls appointment is also when my surgeon showed me all the stats - i plan to be here for several decades.

You know you have cancer, so you don't have to be terrified about that. Try to rationalise the bit that is scaring you. But, write down some questions - what are the options, recovery time. Will you have an operation, when? what sort etc. Focus on those questions - and ask away.

Ned yes best job in the world most of the time ! I miss my class so much, I've always been job share though was going to do 4 days a week next year which I was really looking forward to.
Coorong thanks, I may be a bit naive about chemo etc but what's frightening me most is that they'll just say go away and die theres nothing we can do.

Malt, for there to be 'nothing we can do' you would be lying in a hospital bed, at death's door and on astonishing levels of pain medication.
Are any of those things currently true?
Then I can reassure you that there is a 100% probability of your team tomorrow telling you sensible useful treatments they are about to do.
Honest. And I am quite incapable of lying or even bending facts a bit for social purposes, so that's fact. Go find a relaxing cuppa and let us help sit on the paranoia box for you.

Hi all. I'm not having a fab time with panic but few know. And it's nowt to do with cancer really. But if I'm a bit erratic, ignore it. Well, more than usual.

I'm being a bit stupid aren't I, sorry. Feel really well never have time off work well till now I think that's the scary thing. I kept looking at people today thinking how many of you have cancer and dont know about it
I've got a cuppa now and feeling a bit more positive

malt, cup of tea's the least you need. as amber says they'll have a plan for you tomorrow, so though they can't tell you everything until after op, etc it will help to be able to see what's ahead. Good tip someone told me is to keep same book for all appointments, write questions in before you go, put all you've found in afterwards. It gives you a good record of everything. Mighty useful. What time do you have to be there??

Ash, don't think like that. If it's having a massive effect, it's because the drugs are working. Hope you have a better night. Have you something you can take to zonk you out? xx

Amber, do you know why you're panicking? Is it new, or do you have coping things to get by?? Hugs from me.

Waving to Ned, MAS, Kurri, Jane, Coorong and of course Gig. Sorry if I've missed anyone. Better go, DS demanding more pudding.

Sun shine now !
I have played loud music and sung a lot .
Think I might have some beer with dinner (made meatball pasta and garlic bread and salad)

Malt until you have your treatment plan you are going to feel out of control .
I promise you , once you have a plan , you will feel a thousand times better .

Amber gentle non threatening hugs
Hope whatever is troubling you goes away soon .

KK how's old lady dog ?
Hopefully not stinking of wee anymore !
Has DH been buried under the patio yet ?

Mas I would love some Pimms right now

Gigs I have been looking online at summer clothes
I want a long white summer dress , quite plain with maybe a bit of lace or broderie anglais on it .
So if anyone sees one in fat chick size , please point me at it !

Dinner time now , yum !

I do know what's panicking me, aye. Bit of the usual targeting of autistic people by one or two individuals elsewhere. No-one connected with here. But it's removed some safety from life at the moment, and I'm easily panicked. It'll be ok.

Amber sorry to hear that, can we all come under the duvet with you ?

amber I love ordinance survey maps. Used to do orienteering and we would all pour over our maps at the end of each course.

I'm trying to find free OS maps to download (as an app). There's a great french website, but I do find looking at google earth strangely addictive. I spent last weekend trying to find people in north korea!

Can't offer any advice on panicking - am trying to address mine. I reckon its learned behaviour - my mother was / is a terrific one for panicking.

I love maps ! ds too, he draws imaginary countries in great detail.The Pimms was delicious and potent...T has had a huge glass,but a reward for revision. It was nice to sit out in parents garden- they're south facing,we're north,so lovely and warm there.

Hands Amber a soothing cup of tea under the duvet. You stay there. We'll feed you.

Sneaks some maps and a under duvet for amber. I think you are awesome amber -others loss if they can't see it.

I also completely agree with amber about cant do anything for you - it's a bit of an urban myth about palliative care so please don't think on it. It was one of things that fed my fear and I had to confront it.

On mc/hormones, I had 3mc , ds born at 21weeks with severe abnormalities (he will be 6 on Saturday) and then was pumped full of progesterone with mini gig based on theories Copt mention ( I was also on aspirin as was inconclusive if I had blood clot issues) am convinced that all this played some part in cancer (stress, hormones etc) and particular how original tumour grew. Onc thinks not but admits lots don't know ESP with such a rare cancer.

Ash -sorry you are feeling poorly and sympathy on chemo bum. Between chemo and a radiotherapied bum ( I will spare you the rather interesting waxing effect this had ) , it was not good fun st times. Wish I had the cream tip back then.

Topsy-nail varnish sounds nice. I got some vivid green stuff that big gig currently wearing. I got nice dress in gap but saw some others -will hunt them out for you.

Mas -enjoy the drinks .

Jchoc- which seedlings did you put out?

Bum on seat for malt (sending you gentle hugs), topsy, ned and anyone else. I have Put on some weight so that should help.

I had forgotten that includes me as seeing genetic specialist on Thursday. I am putting this more in the could be interesting as knowledge is power ( apparently genetics doesn't just mean it could be you but also gives a lot of info on what works so its not all doom).

Oh that takes me back mas-my mum used to let me have sherry as a reward for revision. I still like sherry (naice sherry) tho used to get piss ripped for liking it.

I love sherry,even the sweet stuff that MIL has...
am sad for the loss your ds gig 21 weeks is far into pregnancy- bless him.
Am now on white wine...

Thanks mas-it has taken me years to come to terms with it ( well live with it) but am ok now. We can all raise a on his birthday .

Yes all kinds of sherry is good -watching dh jealousy on the .

Topsy any good

Gigs we are def on the same wave length , I book marked that one earlier !

I've never had sherry

Empties bottle for topsy- I like la redoute.
Should have thought to ask for advice about easy access tops here -anything too tight or fiddly to put on (incl bra) out while neck and shoulder so sore.

Hi everyone - yes I am also a sherry fan, and also (esp for Malt) one of the women who had treatment - lumpectomy, chemo and rads) then went back to work 2.5 years ago and now don't post much simply because I'm busy doing normal things and working full time again. There are honestly loads of such women!

Its been a beautiful day here - I've gardeneed, lain on the grass under the magnolia, walked a bit, cooked a bit with DD and her boyfriend who were up from London for the we/. All very nice.

Malt - you'll feel much better once you have a plan - I agree so much with what others have said - esp'deal with what you know' That was so key for me. Would have gone mad otherwise and you can train yourself to think like this and not let your thoughts spiral away all the time - honestly. For me, this thread, daily walking and also cooking were vital supports. Plus friends were great, once I'd told them in my own time.

So take heart - you'll manage and be amazed.

Waving to all- good luck to those having treatment or big appointments this week.

Hope this weather lasts.

Coorong, BTW - I'm not on Tamoxifen, I'm on Anastrzole. Side effects were said to be terrible - I did find I was very stiff for the first 3 months, then that eased and I don't have that SE any more. So if you do have any problems, I'd suggest giving your self a few months before changing drug.

How nice to be in the Peaks - have you been watching The Village by any chance? I like Hayfield! (I live on the other side of Manchester though, near Warrington)

Gigs, could you do boob tubes? I did that when everything was sore after op - you can pull them up over feet/ hips, so don't have to raise arms. American Apparel good - they used to do a cotton one. I wore that, then just slipped a button up shirt on top. is it getting any easier?

x-posted so am waving to SR. Lovely to see you.

That sounds a good plan as doing similar with vest tops. It is getting easier but still stiff (arm definitely getting more feeling).reckon will be while yet tho like this based on what have been told (few months and radio may make it stiff tho have been promised steroid jabs If necessary).

Waves to sr- woken by snotty mini gig so up now. Where is the eye roll emoticon when you need it?

Sr thank you I'm glad you've gone on to be able to go back to work etc . Dh keeps saying to me this is just a bump in the road we've got to get over I hope so
6 hours till my appointment ;(

I was/am back at work til this too malt.

Hand held and candle lit for you.

All? It's the apprentice on tv tonight .

Hi all,
I get lost in all the replies but just wanted to check in. First Canadian chemo went ok. The nurses actually push the epirubicin and f5u in themselves, which was a bit odd. I've been more tired which I don't know if I can blame on round 3 or adding a third drug or even upping the dose of epirubicin. I felt great yesterday (day 3) but not so much today.

On good news, we've got a gp. They interview you here and it seems we've passed the test! I'm completely ignoring the implications of inflammatory for a few days, although its clearly not too far from my mind. I joined groups galore - meditation and young women with breast cancer and possibly expressive arts. I'm not usually such a joiner, I just need some friends in my new/old land.

For appointments, I've got a muga scan wed - apparently makes a video of the blood going through my heart, better at seeing small problems than the ECG - and smear test thurs, long overdue. Lets hope there's nothing there because I've really had my fill of cancer and I'm not even halfway through the first bit. I think I entered the 'its not fair' bit, feeling slightly like my 4yo. I just don't think I can add anything on! Enough, already!

Sitting on the box since I seem to be here a good time for it. Hope your panic settles Amber and anyone else who needs it.

Morning all! +ve vibes to malt for today. Hi Sparkle good to hear you are settling in! amber fellow os map fan here - used to do lots of maps in old job, no excuse now. time for a Can't post much, I'm at work!