chat and hand-holding for those of us supporting a DH with cancer - new thread for the new year

[MrsShrek3]

sign in, folks :)
Hoping that 2013 brings better stuff for all of us.

[MrsShrek3]

Thumb, wise advice and fascinating info as always (hope small one doing well too?)
Daisy...are you me? we appear to have a parallel thought process going on? albeit with slightly different circs the stuff you're describing is exactly what I am thinking too.
dig,I'm lurking and intermittently posting on other thread. hoping your dd gets good results.

[MrsShrek3]

Echo, how are you doing? just been re reading some posts. sending you good vibes from me.
sorry if I've missed anyone...
the lovely Lisa is around too

[digerd]

OP
Thank you. The results are not so frightening, but DD had a traumatic 5 biopsies in one place while being squashed by mammo, lasting 15 minutes, and on the last one nearly fainted/did as the position she had to be in made it difficult for her to breathe. < thank goodness I wasn't in the room>

Chances are 80% benign 20 % malignant. "Cluster of calcified cells" ??
Results next week.

[Nivet]

Just signing in, very glad to find this thread. Will be back later to properly say hello.

[MrsShrek3]

hello Nivet :)

[Nivet]

Hello MrsShrek3, thank you for posting on my mortgage thread. I'm continuing with my "worrying about things that don't really matter instead of the big thing that I'm actually really worried about" coping mechanism. It's not working that well.

Hello everyone else, quick introduction, my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2011, he had a Gleason score of seven and 18/21 biopsy cores containing cancer cells. He has had a radical prostatectomy which unfortunately did not give a clear margin. This was followed by hormone treatment and three months of daily radiation treatment (which started when DD was four weeks old). He has been in remission for eight months but his most recent blood test showed a PSA increase of fourfold on the previous test. As we have been told that the length of time for the PSA levels to double is an indicator of the aggression of the cancer we are pretty scared right now. We have to wait three months for another test before we have a better idea where this is going. It is possible that his PSA is just finding it's level after treatment and I am holding on to that positive thought.

I'm glad to have found you, having cried over some poor Mum on the school run on Monday I think I need an outlet

[MrsShrek3]

hi again Niven. Keeping Busy and Ostrich tendencies are part of the deal, aren't they? otherwise this shit is just too big sometimes. You're more of an expert than me on doing this anyway.... we have all the scary three monthly waiting stuff to start now hoping it isn't all as crap as you fear. Does your DH seem well otherwise?

I need to get on my laptop and do time proper reading, can't read properly on my phone and can't see all the recent posts - ohh such a faff. Sorry... lots of people I want to catch up on how they're doing. wahey thank f it's Friday

[Hellenbach]

Hi everyone

Especially Nivet hope you are coping with the waiting.

Twosugars did you get the results yet?

DH had the biopsy done, had to stay overnight and lay still for 5 hours afterwards, results in one week, aaaarrrrrrgh [bconfused]

Doctor threw in a few new angles on stuff like, 'we need to check it's the same type of cancer as before, and not a new one' WTAF?????

Great, will add that onto my worry list.

Am going out tonight for a few

Hope everyone is okay.

[MrsShrek3]

had a mad day. literally. Went bananas at DH . Something's gone pop in my head, really crazy stuff :( No idea how to retrieve it now. Both likely to be up half the night as neither of us sleep well and definitely not after a day like today. He doesn't know what to make of it all, or me either. sigh. I seriously can't figure out whether I am crazy, depressed, hyperactive or what Hormonal allegedly left the building years ago so probably can't blame that well I probably can but just saying Wish I knew where it came from or how to fix it.

[Cornycremegg]

hello everyone
dh on chemo number 9 or 12 tomorrow
mrsshrek we had an argument last week and really snapped at each other - both just too tired I think. I was talking to dh the other day and my mind just went totally blank as I was talking and I couldn't remember what I was actually talking about. It was really scary actually. I'm hoping it's just the tiredness and I'm not actually losing my marbles!

[Cornycremegg]

sorry number 9 of 12

[MrsShrek3]

good luck corny and MrC. Will be thiking of you today.

[Cornycremegg]

[daisydotandgertie]

I didn't dare update the thread last night - I spoke too soon. Mr D ended up having another temperature spike last night and we sailed off to A&E at about 3am. I knew it was coming and had stayed awake waiting for it. He's in an isolation room (on the private wing because they'd run out of rooms everywhere else, hurrah) and I got home just in time to walk the dogs at about 8am. His HB levels have dropped to 8.5 this time, so it's no wonder he has been so bloody breathless. Last week I could have killed him though. He had an accident in a tractor and slammed his liver onto the steering wheel - as if it doesn't already have enough to deal with. And he decided to shift just over a tonne of compost in bags from one side of the site to another; he did use a tractor to actually carry it, but the 75 bags didn't magic themselves into the bucket. He pushed/moved/dragged each bloody one. I KNOW it's important for his mental balance to actually achieve things, but really. Is he insane? He didn't even do it slowly. It took him much less than an hour.

I've had to give in and go to bed for a few hours - it seems I can't manage a whole night with no sleep and a normal day anymore. It's my age, I think.

Mrs S - what set you off? I nearly, nearly lost it yesterday because I knew what was coming last night but managed to cling onto well behaved. I'd say you were mostly exhausted; proper, bone aching, emotionally exhausted. You've had to hold it together for such a long time and now you've had a fabulous piece of news, it has loosened your grip of keeping yourself together. It's what happened to me, anyway!

Good luck Mr & Mrs C - fingers crossed it's a good round.

And Lisa - hope today is kind to you, your DH and your girls.

Looks like a few of us are going to have a tough week this week. Hope all results are positive.

[Twosugarsplease]

Hi hellan dh goes for another ultra sound and biopsy on Wednesday.
The support and posts on this thread have really calmed my nerves, and dh probably greatful I am not a pathetic wreck this time, says me who will be a bundle of nerves going with him

[Cornycremegg]

((Hugs))Lisad. I have everything crossed for you and dh.

Daisy my dh does things like that. He was digging up someone's garden for them just a few weeks after a major op earlier in the year. I would be lying on the couch watching Jeremy Kyle if it was me.

Good luck for weds two-sugars

My dh has come back on top form from his chemo. Hopefully this'll be a good cycle but only 3 more to go.

[MrsShrek3]

lisa. that's a bit crap. Don't let PAT stay for the three months either, chuck the bugger out. You've come all this way, hoping it's just a wobble.
Onwards, Corny - another one down
Good luck and getting-fixed vibes to MrDaisy - suggest straightjacket?
Will be thinking of you tomorrow 2sugars, hope it goes the best it can iyswim

Hand holding and hugs to all of you/us who need. Will be thinking of you all if not posting, cos I don't seem to get here an awful lot atm.

[Twosugarsplease]

Dh went for biopsy yesterday on a large nodule on his thyroid, nurse said they are rarely malignant, but not always.
If the results come back inconclusive he will need it removed to test accurately, but good news is that the nodules are contained and haven't spread.
So waiting for results now.

[Cornycremegg]

fingers crossed for you 2sugars

[Hellenbach]

Got biopsy results.
It's the same cancer but now classed as intermediate grade and not low grade anymore.
The good news is it's not classed as aggressive (looking for the positives).
But they still don't know why the chemo didn't work, especially at that grade, it should have.

Anyway, onward and upward. Starts on oral chemo in a week. Hoping he can tolerate it without too many side effects, we have very limited treatment options now.

Going for a second opinion on Monday, just because I love to spend all my spare time checking out hospitals!!

[Cornycabernet]

good news that his cancer isn't aggressive
what a bummer that the chemo didn't work though
how long does dh have to take the oral chemo for?
my dh took oral chemo last year for about 5/6 weeks with radiotherapy.
Was manageable and he was able to continue working, although he did become very tired/nauseous towards the end of the course.

[EchoBitch]

Got the results today,he has prostate cancer.

It is still contained within his prostate but only just so he has to go for a bone scan.

Hormone treatment and radiotherapy are being arranged.

I hate hospitals...have spent far too long in and around them lately.



Good luck to all you others.